VSGAnn2014

My weight goal was 150 pounds. Seemed fine to me. BTW, I'm 5'5" tall and almost 70 years old. I hit that goal 8.5 months post-op. And then the next 6 months I kept losing slowly. This morning I weighed 139.2 pounds. And that's while eating lots of food (1700 cals/day). I'm not trying to lose weight anymore -- but the longer I'm normal-sized, the more active I'm getting -- walking more and faster, gardening more, and being generally more active. That difference in calories burned has made a surprising (to me) difference in how easy it has been to maintain my weight (actually, to lose an average of 2 pounds a month). At my age, height and sturdy build I have NO desire to weigh 120 pounds. Yuck! But I will say that 6 months ago I would have thought 139 pounds was going to be too light for me. And at times during the last 6 months I've thought I looked too skinny. I don't look too skinny to me anymore. Because, actually, I'm not. But my eyes / head / self-image have needed time to accustom to what "normal" really looks like after a lifetime of (mostly) being chubby, overweight, obese and eventually morbidly obese. This is a strange trip.

@@CowgirlJane ... after my having been on this forum for two years, you continue to impress me in new ways. You've shown me great wisdom and great sharing in this post. Thank you.

Yes, it is just beautiful. cheese, yes. But grapes ... actually, not so much for bariatric patients who are still in weight loss mode They have comparatively high calories and sugar content and low Fiber vs. fresh berries. And fruits don't make up a big part of our weight loss menus until a ways down the line. Don't get me wrong -- grapes are a lot more appropriate than Godiva truffles or petit fours. Caveat: As always on this forum, others' mileage will vary.

I think women's shapes are more varied and nuanced than the half dozen or so "shapes" shown in the OP. The silhouettes we present are altered by attributes like the lengths and widths of our arms, legs, necks, hands and feet and by our postures and how broadly (or narrowly) we position and present our bodies. Some people are thicker side-to-side, some are thicker front-to-back, and others are neither. And, of course, our hair styles affect our silhouettes. As do the fits and styles of the clothing and shoes we choose to wear. And then there are the changes we all undergo as we age. Our shapes when young aren't the same as our shapes in middle age or when we're of "senior" age. There are so many variations in our bodies and ways we can alter those without losing an ounce. Why should we imagine we fit into only six "shapes"? I'll spare you all my rant on "Red Carpet" expectations of women in the current selfie culture.

Chubby, yo-yo dieter here. Became overweight at age 7 and "heavy" through high school and college. Then discovered diet pills (legal speed) in grad school. Yes, in the 1960s it was legal speed. Through my 20s and mid-30s, I swung between 120 and 185. Then in my 40s I settled around 165 - 195. In my 50s I ranged from 165 - 205. In my 60s I ranged from 170 - 235. (See the pattern?) And this morning I weighed 139.2 pounds. BAM!

The author described her personal situation and those of a small subset of bariatric patients' responses to WLS. Widely published articles like this make it sound like all WLS patients battle post-op depression, divorce, and suicide. But despite the author's gross mis-characterization of the study she cites, they do not.

That's one of the great joys at being witness to our own transformation. Congratulations.

I endorse your philosophy -- live, love, eat (or sip, as the case may be). Since having WLS I have learned that it is not a sin to not clean my plate, even if I learned that it was and behaved all my life as though it were. It's simply not.

You can weigh your food forever, as far as I'm concerned. At 14.5 months post-op I still weigh some of my foods -- especially those foods I am prone to under-estimate, like cheese, and to under-estimate, like meat.

I read your OP as being full of contradictory words and messages (see red font above). It reads like you don't know what you want or what you think is best for you. Only you can answer these questions for yourself. Whether you and I would behave the same (or differently) doesn't really matter. BTW, if alcohol or drugs are involved in your sexual encounters with new people, you are flirting with major health risks. I sincerely hope that's not the case. For all these reasons, I think you would benefit greatly from finding and working with a good therapist. I know it took courage for you to post this. I wish you the very best.

Newbies go through so many feelings as they're transitioning to a sleeved life. We all did. All changes in life require us to adapt. And we do. Months later, years later -- which is what matters -- it's a whole different deal. You just adapt. It feels normal. It really does.

I'm like @@Babbs and @@Kindle ... I can eat anything. I've never thrown up even once. And I don't dump. BTW, I'm 14.5 months post-op and have been at or below goal for 6 months now. Like Babbs, I still use My Fitness Pal, which I used from two months before VSG surgery to plan and track everything I've eaten. However, at my shrink's urging, lately I've been (gasp!) experimenting with not using MFP for a few days at a time to develop my skills to eat instinctually, mindfully. That's his jargon for "eat like a normal person." In any event, every time I don't track I actually lose a little bit of weight. Weird. At this point, I can't imagine never tracking food again. It really does permit me to maintain control over food, something I truly want to do. But back to your questions -- when I was losing weight I was very disciplined about what I ate and how much. However, I did not avoid carbs -- just starchy and sugary ones, slider ones. Since maintenance, I still focus on eating very nutritious food. I've added more calories and foods that I'd never have touched while losing weight. However, at this point I trust myself to eat anything, but not tons of it. I eat an average of 1700 calories a day to maintain at 140 pounds. My restriction at a single sitting is still around 3/4 to 1 cup (max). I still eat lots of Protein (perhaps too much). What I don't do is graze. I eat 3 meals and couple of healthy Snacks. Come the holidays I fully expect to eat small amounts of Desserts, but I'll also be very active (I've turned into a committed walker). Happily, I'm not worried or anxious about the upcoming food season at all.

High-end consignment shops are almost the only places I shop for clothes anymore. The prices, styles, wide selection of smaller sizes (skinny people buy cooler clothes) are amazing -- so much better than department stores.

Sweet posts!

Well, if your avatar is your real photograph then I think your dilemma may be resolved.

Seriously, my strongest hunch is "low blood sugar."

1, Low blood sugar? 2. Stoned? 3. Old soccer injury? 4. Spiders living in your inner ear? 5. What not being carb-sedated feels like? 6. The Mother Ship is calling? 7. Your coworkers picked today to spike the Water cooler with acid? 8. It's Tuesday? 9. Hershey's kisses were the only thing keeping your dementia at bay? 10. Your surgeon mistakenly gave you the pre-op diet instructions for a sex-change operation?

I had a UTI about 3 months in -- and I'm sure it was because I had slacked off on Water prior to that. My bad. But that got my attention, and I'm better now. And I'm REALLY better lately, since I'm eating more food (am on maintenance). Not enough water causes ALL kinds of problems -- to start with, dehydration is the most common cause of fatigue. It also leads to head hunger, UTIs, kidney problems, liver malfunctions, constipation (and colon blockage), dry unresilient skin, brittle hair, blurry vision, etc.

@@Babbs ... you did it again, you straight shooter b***h!

So, want to hear me whine? Why do so few people who start threads say "Thank you" for the comments / answers / posts made by those who make the effort to think of a cogent reply and type a response? On many threads here the OP posts Message #1 and is never seen or heard again on that thread. Then there are those OPs who seem to regard those who respond as paid consultants who are falling down on the job. Strangely, no one has yet sent me a check, cash or even a bottle of liquor.

Word to the pre-ops and other newbies about problem areas and loose skin: It can all change a lot while you're losing weight. Fat and skin that you think won't ever go away will continue to shift and change until you've lost all your excess weight. You may be pleasantly surprised at what happens. That's what happened to my mid-section. And my thighs. And even my forearms. At 14.5 months post-op, my waist is now 28.5 inches -- at 70 years of age. Don't assume what your body will look like when you're done -- until you're done. And then after you're through losing weight, it continues to change. That's why surgeons say to wait for body-shaping surgery until you've lost all your weight and maintained your weight for at least a year. My area's "top plastic surgeon" won't even do botox on WLS patients until a year of maintenance has passed.

My first month post-op I lost 10.4 pounds. And I was thrilled! I hadn't lost that much weight in a month in decades! By 8.5 months post-op, I had lost all my excess weight. I've since slowly lost another 10 pounds for a total of 95 pounds lost. I'm maintaining stably now at 140 pounds. (Can you tell from all the smiley-faces how happy I am with my WLS experience?) You'll be fine -- no matter how fast or slowly you lose. The point is that you will lose. And if you do what you're supposed to do you will lose all your excess weight. And then you will keep it off.

Five months out you'll already be looking and feeling like a new woman.

Whoa! Fascinating research. Thanks for posting this. EDIT: I'm not a huge fan of TED talks (takes a while to watch the videos). But Kristin Neff's TED talk is worth a listen. It's about self-compassion vs. self-esteem. She addresses, among other things, how girls' and women's self-esteem is grounded in our estimation (starting in third grade) of how attractive we are. She describes some persuasive research behind the thesis that practicing self-compassion is more effective than self-criticism in helping us cope effectively with life's and our own imperfections and (for goal-oriented people -- ahem!) achieving our goals. Even though her TED talk was designed for a woman-focused conference, I think her thesis applies equally to men.

Well, so far as I can tell by your description, everything he's told you so far is right: His fist is about the size of 3 ounces of meat. That's right. Eat Protein first. That's right. After protein eat some colored, low-carb veggies. Then, as healing continues and restriction eases slightly, add a fruit (or more veggies). Much later, as restriction continues to ease, add some whole grains. You won't be able to eat much of this for a long time. Drink 64 ounces of Water daily. Take all your meds and prescribed supplements. While you're losing, don't drink anything that has calories (except skim milk and Protein drinks, if you're using those -- I did; still am even in maintenance). Eat slower. Chew more. Don't drink with meals -- stop drinking 15" before and don't drink for 30" after the meal. Don't graze / nibble. Eat 3 meals and a snack or two if you get hungry. Move more. Then move more. Don't hurt yourself. Hang out here -- find out what others are doing. Don't let them make you crazy. Keep it simple. Don't worry about how fast you're losing. If you do the above, you'll be doing fine. This next bit isn't a prescription for you, just a report from me: The first 4 months I ate about 800 cals/day. Months 5-6 I ate 1,000 cals/day. Months 7-8 I ate 1200 cals/day. I reached my goal at 8.5 months. Then over the next 6 months slowly lost another 10 pounds while eating 1700 cals/day (my maintenance budget). Everyone's maintenance calorie budget varies, depending on what they eat, how much they exercise, their metabolic rate, age, etc. Again, keep it simple. Build new habits into a new healthy lifestyle. Don't go back to old habits. Eventually, the new habits (not your sleeve) will be what "saves you" and keeps you healthy the rest of your life. This is a new chance for a new life.