CrazyJaney

I regret many, many things in my life. High school boyfriend. College boyfriend. Not going to Europe when I was in college. The horrible female mullet with big bangs haircut in 1990. But I don't regret having lost 90 pounds in the last year. I don't regret that I still have 70 to go and it's getting harder. I would greatly regret still weighing 325 pounds and being flat out miserable. I know the surgery isn't for everyone. It is work. But to image going back and the struggle it was to lose just 20 pounds back then - I can't even fathom it. There is work, no doubt, but regret for me would be never having done it. To those of you searching threads on "regret", think about how you feel NOW, last year, last time you wanted to do something and couldn't. That is regret EVERYDAY. Research every option and educate yourself thoroughly. Don't let any ONE experience (good or bad) influence you. It is a huge decision that you can't turn away from but this is not a one size fits all.

I just re-read the original post. I hit 90 pounds gone this morning and my clothes are falling off. I went to Kohls and bought an XL sweater in the regular women section without trying it on. It was way too big. I can't wrap my head around what size clothes I really am. It is such a strange phenomenom when you have been shopping plus size for so long. On the down side, I am very pear shaped and pretty sure I won't see a size 12 or 14 until I am at goal. I haven't even tried on anything yet because I don't want to be disappointed. But, overall - what a thrill to shop now! I am probably a bit too old for Victoria Secrets but I find sexy stuff all the time! I wore a fitted black sweater with black pants to work the other day, people were awestruck at work. It was crazy how the tight black accentuated the curves and weight loss. Crazy! Now to lose the last 70 and finance my house for plastics - lol - just kidding - well….. maybe!

Don't react if you hear something through the grapevine about yourself. Haters want a reaction. Don't call them or confront them or anything. Because yeah, haters gonna hate. Your best reaction to those broads is to live your best life and keep being awesome.

Amen!!!!!! Living well is the best revenge!

Hubby is right. Sit back and laugh at their ridiculousness. You will be surprised how much confidence you might find in yourself in the months to come. This is all about you and you are worthy of the good things that will come. Smile, be the bigger person, and focus only on you and yours. Good luck!

I had a period the day after surgery (light), then one a month later, and then none since May. But I'm 46 and was becoming regular. Keep feeling pms-ish but never start. Frustrating.

I'll be 5 months post op on Aug 13th. 85-ish gone but sooooo far to go. Struggling with the fact that I have done well but it's not as easy as it was. I'm headed home from the beach with my girlfriends. Had a great time despite my first experience with dumping (note to self: Bushwhackers are made with ice cream and will make you feel horrible, even if you ALWYS have one at the beach - no more). I look at the pictures and I'm so far from being happy where I am right now. I guess that is motivation to keep going. A year ago I was 325 pounds. This is better but it's not enough. This trip (and the photographic evidence) has been hard on my brain. People telling me I look great, me seeing pics and just wanting more. It's like I see every flaw now. Keep me in your prayers this week. It's also my 46th birthday and just not feeling the self worth I should have. ????

At what point did it become harder? I've lost 86 (28 of that was preop). Starting weight 325. Surgery was 3/13/14 so I know I've done great in 4.5 months but I'm starting to have to work a lot harder. I've been at 238-240 for what seems like forever (only 2 weeks but feels like forever). I'm increasing my exercise. What "levels" did you start to have to do extra work?

@@CrazyJaney ...

This is one amazingly wonderful post above. Thank you for taking the time a few weeks ago to type that. It has really made my afternoon.

I love your point about treating this forum like homework. And your honesty comment. And the comment about shame.

I think there's a lot of learning ahead of me.

All of my attempts at weight loss have been in good faith and with, what I thought, was a fairly educated mind about how to do it - yet I always failed. What I didn't do, until I was getting ready for WLS, is to address the emotional part of HOW I GOT to 330 pounds. I mean, how does that happen to someone? How can I be college educated, seemingly successful in other areas of my life and be squarly on a path to an early grave at my "own doing"? I had never really let go of my ego. I always had that bargaining voice in my head that rationalized and minimized dieting and weight loss. What this site did was to help me see that I AM NOT ALONE! There was power in that for me. I can't explain why, it just was. My parents are both alcoholics. My mom has 30+ years of sobriety and has dedicated her adult life to helping others with addiction. My dad has never gotten free from his addiction. I was exposed to the tennant of AA and the 12 steps a long time ago. As a teen, the foundations were laid but I NEVER really embraced the concept of accountability. I think this surgery MAKES me be accountable. It also gives me a control I have never experienced. That concept of "control" is one major difference between food and alcohol addiction. It is not a one size fits all. It's not like there is a perfect recipe for how to be successful in this BUT there are similarities of how people become successful. For an alcoholic, you don't go to bars, you don't take the first sip. For a food addict, it's not as simple. But there are lifestyle changes that support my goals. Again, I had NEVER, EVER considered the emotional side of weight loss (except for attending one, solitary OA meeting at age 23 in which I was so full of shame I could never go back). This time, at 45 and in a very different place in life, I was able to say "I am a food addict and the data (weighing 325+ pounds) supports that. I can't run from it." And all of that self realization brought a huge amount of shame in the beginning. I am coming up on my one year anniversary for my first doctor appointment (mid August). It's gotten easier to think about my failures in the past without shame. It's still there but it's less and less. I do know that if I get too far away from this site, the voices in my brain that tell me "it's okay to cheat today" start to creep back. This site, belonging to a community, helps me stay focused and accountable. I am far from perfect (I ate a half piece of cake yesterday) but I have come so far. People tell me how great I look and I minimize it. Not because I am not proud of myself, but because it doens't support success. When I say I have so far to go, they say "but you've come so far you should be proud". I have started explaining to people that I can't "celebrate" in the same sense of before. Celebrating tells my brain that it's ok to reward myself with an extra calorie or two or two hundred. It's a slippery slope and always will be. I still have a LONG way to go to get to a goal of "normal". The hardest work lies ahead. It scares me but I have some tools for success and I am going to keep coming back here checking in and being accountable. Thanks to all who commented - it helps keep us going!

Andrea K my friend! You are gonna do fantastic! Have faith and go with it. I know the fears. You were there for me when I was stressed preop. You got this! So many good things lie ahead. I won't lie, the first week, not so good. But you get through it. So excited for you!

Awesome!!!

I 4.5 months post, almost 85 down. I've purged 3 times so far. The good stuff I give to a girl at work. The rest to Goodwill. I am so pear shaped that nothing fits the same and it's do hard to find pants that fit. When the girls at work tell me to get new clothes, I listen. I bought 2 maxi dresses from Target to get me through the summer. I don't really have any pants that fit and I hate buying pants - really hate it. I think I have body dysmorphic syndrome too. I bought an XXL shirt without trying it on a few weeks ago. Too big. Went back and bought a XL. Too big. No way can I consider a L??? It's mind boggling to get out of plus sizes. But I'm still an 18-20 on bottom. Sigh....

I've been a critical care nurse for 18 years. MD means they went to medical school but it doesn't mean anything else. It doesn't mean they are Board Certified. Board Certification is a gold standard for physicians/surgeons.

Surgery on June 24, 2014, having horrible nausea! I eat 4 bites, or drink Water, or take Vitamins, or attempt to drink a Protein shake..... It starts! I am still losing but can hardly eat anything or eft down the things I should in a day. Should I call doctor? Really tired of taking the of zofran

That's almost a month out. It probably warrants a call. When is your next appointment? I was on soft or purees then. You might be eating too fast? Or it just might be normal as it is with some. I still get instantly nauseated if I drink water on an empty stomach. But I've never gotten nauseated from food unless I pushed the limit or when I was newly advancing textures. It will get better though.

Can I just say this is one of the most bizzaro threads, EVER. It's 40 pages long and I haven't read all the threads but let me get this straight: Latin-lover-type Omar seduces American women then dumps them. He works for a surgeon but it's a non-US business. And the OP wants to "out" him? Is there more? I would hope to find legit info on here if I was looking to go to MX but if you're a grown woman, who falls prey to a stereotypical Don Juan, and it was consensual, what do you expect to happen? Rape is another matter entirely. But I would think people who travel to MX to have surgeries would have been prepared for avoiding the seduction part. I'm thinking of doing plastics there but I wouldn't go alone and I would be suspicious of any "personal" attention.

I had surgery on Monday and I feel like crap. I threw up a lot the first two days in the hospital. I came home on Thursday and felt good yesterday, but real bad today. I struggle with drinking the Water believe it or not it hurts more than the yogurt and stuff. I think because it goes through my system so fast. I have bouts of nausea when I eat, but regularly more shakes and painfully spicy poop that makes me want to cry. Don't worry not everyone feels amazing like some of the posters here have felt. I have wanted to cry and thought I made a mistake a few times already.

I had water nausea for months. Day 5 I thought I might die after feeling good on day 4. Day 6 I turned a corner and decided I would live. 4 months later, I've lost 83 pounds. I can eat small amounts of anything. I discovered Diet Green Tea doesn't make me nauseous (try Diet Arizona Green Tea). Life is good. You WILL get there. The first month sucks but hang in there. I feel ya.

It took my taste buds 4 months to find something I could drink. It's not fun in the early days.

I wish I'd have known the pure joy of buying a dress (albeit a size 16) in the "normal" section at Kohls. NOT THE WOMENS! I was giddy at the checkout. It's sleeveless (bummer) but it's perfect in every other way. I've lost 83 and have 70+ to go. I'm only 4 months post. But shopping is fun again!

For me, my most favorite thing is I will never ever wake up in the morning with a food hangover again! Yes, I am putting this out there. I would eat so much crap at night. As if I was never going to eat again, and in the morning, I would feel so awful mentally and physically. I'd be so bloated that I'd fret about what would actually fit my bloated belly? I'd hate myself for doing this. Why couldn't I control myself? I'm only 5 weeks out, but I can tell you that when I get up in the morning it's the best feeling to not be bloated, and not have guilt as my first thought as I get out of bed. I'm actually not even grumpy in the mornings, and I used to be! It never occurred to me why, but yeah that's why!

You are so right!!!!! Such a good point!

Thanks for all the feedback. This really helps. I get horrible nausea from pain medication so I will try to get off of that as quickly as possible.

I stopped taking them day 4 and it helped. I tried to find sugar free children's Tylenol liquid but could never find it. They don't make Tylenol dissolvables for kids anymore either. I did fine but I would have liked to have taken plain Tylenol a few days longer the first week or two. Get some if you can find them.

You know, this was one of my biggest worries preop as I've experienced major bouts of nausea with any surgery I've had. I had a ton of nausea for the first few days and maybe up to a week post op but it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. Really it wasn't near as bad and mostly related to narcotics and not the surgery. It's all very individual I suppose but I was thankful it wasn't as bad as I feared.

I added fish oil and saw a slight (very slight) improvement but I'm not sure what dose I should be taking????

I made Greek Turkey Meatballs. Used ground turkey, feta cheese and black olives. Cooked them in the mini muffin tins. Dipped them in dill yogurt dip. Delish. Oh, I added basil and oregano too.

How's everyone??? How's everyone's labs? I started taking Iron. It's awful. Didn't think Constipation could get worse. I'm up to a total of 83 but still have 70+ to go. Exercising going much better. Hair loss in full swing.

I should probably have commented on the "mental" aspect of this journey. It deserves full attention. Honestly, I think the hardest part has been the mental side of it. There are so many physical changes and hurdles but the I think it was actually harder pre op and first month post op. The "new normal" as someone said has been a little hard but not as hard as the preop worries it induced. But the mental hurdles, challenges, changes have been enormous overall. Facing your inner most fears about facing food addiction when you have essentially been in denial for 30-40 years was huge for me. That was my preop journey. I had no idea how preparing for surgery would force me to do that and I think it left me in a much better place emotionally when I was post op. Food/carb addiction, how others see me, how I see myself, feelings of shame, of resentment for things in my past all came up and out on this journey. But I tell you, I'm more at peace now than I've been in 20+ years, maybe ever. This website helped me more emotionally and to prepare mentally more than anything (which is why I posted today). I have a great surgeon and team but it's very "clinical" unlike the fellowship here (although you'll find some gratuitous snarky-snarks) and the accountability is what really helped me. They say denial has to fall to recover from something and for the very first time in my whole life, I felt I had a safe place to admit my failures. Shame is a huge, common theme for many (not all) of us. Reading and posting help me face that preop. So I encourage all those in the early stages to come here, everyday, and treat it like homework. I looked at others who were successful and I saw some common themes. The were honest. They tracked faithfully. They put Protein first always. They plan ahead. They exercise. All those have worked for me too.

Essentially, I eat 800-1000 calories a day. At least 60 G Protein. I aim for 50 or less of carbs but a few days a week I'm closer to 70. I struggle to make exercise a priority but I do Water aerobics and treadmill/weights (typical gym stuff). I've also started riding my bike (which I suck at). Basically I MOVE! At 325 I avoided moving. Now I'm game to try anything. Unfortunately I am so not athletic. I wish to God I had that natural inclination but it's always been hard. My energy was GONE the first 6 weeks post op. It's much better now but I still fatigue a lot when I exercise. I do feel better after, but during is a challenge. I use My Fitness Pal every day. Even when I don't eat clean. I hate the word "cheat". I struggle between 2 mind sets of "NO CHEATING EVER, EVER. EVER" and "moderation". The good thing about the sleeve and WLS in general is you have a forced moderation. I have good restriction. I hope that my new habits are reinforced for when I don't feel the fullness so much. My habits are good. I have a bite of something "bad" every now and then but it's literally one bite and I'm done/satisfied. The true miracle for me is the way my brain senses hunger. Before, my hunger would feel like a 12 out of 10, truly a panicky feeling. I still get hungry and feel a need to eat, but it's more like a 5 at worst, usually less. I have cravings, but nothing like I had before. I make good choices. That's a mantra I've used. I MAKE GOOD CHOICES. That and food IS NOT LOVE. FOOD IS NOT COMFORT. Those have helped. My goal is 165. I'm 5'6. I started at 325 (332 was undocumented but I know I was there once). I'd really love to ski again so 165 might be not low enough but no matter what, I don't think I'll get there without exercise.

I have absolutely no regrets other than I waited until 45 to have surgery. I'm so unbelievably thankful today. A year ago I was miserable beyond words. Life is not perfect but boy, it's pretty good! Wishing you all good luck. Reach out if you need help and post when you need to.

Celebrating today as I've finally gotten past the half way point. Wanted to post to all those on the fence about surgery (as I once was) and for those in the early-early days who can't conceive of the success (as I once did). What a wonderful tool this is! It's still work, and it's getting harder, but it's a tool that really works. I track everything. I still weigh and measure most things. I am struggling to make exercise a part of my everyday life. But I feel so incredibly good. The daily pain of my knees and feet are gone. My blood pressure is normal. My cpap settings are the lowest you can have. My energy is improving. To be certain, surgery isn't for everyone, but if you doubt yourself preop, as I did, I want you to know that success DOES happen. I started at 325. I could barely move or breathe. It's work. Some days are hard. But it's so worth it. Now - to buckle down to get to goal in the next year. It's getting a little harder. The journey is far from over but I'm so glad I booked the trip!