roundisashape

So after my last body mass analysis at the gym and being fussed at by my primary care doc (who said my goal weight may be okay on the bmi chart, but is too low for me...though she didn't help me pick a new goal), I started looking up calculations for ideal body weight that account for muscle mass.

Here's one of the links I found that I used to do some calculations:

http://www.builtlean.com/2010/05/04/ideal-body-weight-formula-how-to-calculate-your-ideal-weight/

I thought the difference in results was interesting. On the BMI chart, I'll be "normal" at 140. Using the fat free mass I got at the gym, the calculator showed me at an "athletic" 20% body fat at 156!

According to these, a respectable (for a lifelong fat chick) goal of 30% puts me at 178 - that's less than 25 lbs away! I sure don't FEEL like I'm going to be "normal" in 25 pounds, regardless of how much effort I put into keeping / building on my current muscle mass.

What method did you use to pick a goal? Every time I think I've settled on something, I start having doubts and come up with another number.

5'3", 204, bigger on top than the bottom, and wearing mostly 14's now. Some brands a 16. Exercise pants are usually a L or XL depending on how tightly fitted they are.

SHIRTS are a different story. Still pretty firmly an XL or even XXL...ptooey!

Seems excessive. I don't feel hungry faster if I drink after eating, but still need 20-30 minutes because it just HURTS. I feel like I'm going to have a heart attack and die.

I used to LOVE hard boiled and deviled eggs. Now I can't stand the taste - it's like my throat actually closes and won't let me swallow them!

I wish I were that organized, but I'm a baggie person, too. Some chicken chunks, some veggie slices, some fruit chunks, whatever. I log it before work, stuff it in my purse, then I just grab a baggie of whatever when I'm hungry the next time.

Sasha, mine finally stopped falling out faster than it's growing in at about the 7 month mark, but it DOES come back. I got a sample of the Marc Anthony Oil of Morocco spray in my Ipsy bag (it's about $8-$10 for a big full sized can) and it works really well to keep the frizzies down without making my hair stiff. Otherwise, I walk around looking like I stuck my finger in a socket.

Sometimes I get the light ones, sometimes I just get the ones I like - regular Oikos, Dannon, etc. Those days, it's pretty much the only sugar I take in except what's naturally occurring in the milk I make my shake with, so I don't worry about it too much. Plus it's one of the foods I can rely on when I'm having a tough sleeve day and things don't want to stay down.

I love the discussion here, and I'm definitely learning that it's not going to be the miraculous "romantic comedy" stumble onto the perfect man right out of the gate, lol. I'm taking a bit of a break and having a friend take some new pictures and help me overhaul my profile to see if I can draw a different kind of guy. One that doesn't live with his mom.

I'd been talking to a guy who seemed fantastic, who finally asked me out. We went out last night, and even though he was nice, I felt duped. He had no teeth, no hair, and I need to believe the stain on his shirt was ketchup. I don't know how old the picture on his profile was, but...no. Especially since I go out of my way to be totally honest and post full body current pictures on there so people know what they're getting and can make a decision about whether they want to talk to me upfront. All I could think was, "I got my nails done and put on an underwire for THIS?" By the time I got home, though, I saw the humor in it.

Now there IS a man at work who also lost over 100 lbs, who is adorable and funny and seems to be in the "dating around" stage. I kind of like him, but not enough to make my bed where I bake my bread so I'm not saying anything.

Don't bet no one notices! It's such a touchy thing - most of the people who comment on mine really approach it with kid gloves when they do. You're doing great, and I'm sure you look amazing!

Skinny fingers.

Every day I wiggle my hands around to see if I can spot bones yet, lol.

Honestly, I think you make a great point about waiting.

One of my friends recently has plastics done and has a bunch more planned. She said as she gets more done, she's getting responses from a different kind of man and is kind of glad she didn't stick with someone she met earlier - whether it's truly a different kind of interest or it's a reflection on what she's willing to accept as she gets more comfortable in her own skin, I can't say.

Truthfully, I haven't been at this long enough to get really frustrated. I think that's why I've only successfully gotten one guy out of the house, though the interest I'm drawing is a mixed bag and I haven't been super interested in most of the people that have responded. I DO have one set up for Sunday and I'm hopeful that we can at least be friends if we're not couple material, because he seems like someone I could enjoy spending time with either way.

One thing I DON'T have patience for is dragging out online communication forever. I'm 37 years old, and looking for guys in my age range - if they're scared to come out, we're not going to work anyway. I wonder if that comes across as desperation? That's not what I'm going for, but after we've chatted for a few days I think it's time to meet and see what happens!

@@proudgrammy, don't be silly! The best way to learn how to NOT be a single is to hear from people who AREN'T anymore

Waiting for the handicapped bathroom stall because the others felt too small, pretending I had to use the ladies room and would "meet everyone upstairs in a few minutes" when I was with people who wanted to take the stairs, having to lean against the shower wall to push my arm back far enough to reach everything that needed cleaned...so many more!

Thank you all for your replies! I was just so frustrated with the whole thing yesterday and I'd gotten several nutty contacts right in a row, but I feel like I woke up with much more perspective on it. I DO think taking some occasional breaks is good, though, at least for me - sometimes it gets overwhelming.

The truth is, I've had ONE face to face date and even though we weren't a match, I really did have a good time. Probably more so after I realized I wasn't planning to date him and I could relax, lol.

@@CowgirlJane and @@gowalking, I agree with you about the attitude. I've noticed a big difference in the interest I get now and what I got a couple of years ago when I tried this. Maybe the trick is to just fake whatever confidence I don't feel now?

I love reading about all of your insights and experiences. It gives me something to mirror when you guys figure out what works first!

Still comparatively early out, but yes - we're in the "add an extra Iron supplement" stage of trying to resolve it now.

May I just vent for a second?

This dating thing is SO frustrating. I feel like I should have learned how to do this a LONG time ago, and now I'm floundering to pick up a skill everyone else my age has long since mastered.

In my head I guess I know that it's just a weeding out process, a numbers game - put yourself out there, meet as many guys as you can handle meeting, and weed out the mismatches until one sticks.

Unfortunately, my head isn't always in charge. The rest of me gets quite frustrated with the "fall-off-the-earth-ers", the ones who CLEARLY didn't read your profile, the ones who take FOREVER to call, and maybe worst of all, the ones who seem like a great match...then you meet them and realize if it came down to that person or spending the rest of your life alone, you'd learn to like your own company really quickly. I guess the only consolation is that they didn't like me after we met, either.

I hate that it's almost like a job, and that I need to treat it like one if I'm going to have time to build a family. I just don't understand how other people manage to stumble on the right person like some sort of magic I'm not privy to.

Okay, rant over. I think I'm going to take the night off and start trying again tomorrow, lol!!

I've been able to toss mine in the dryer on low with no issues, but I don't buy anything super expensive either.

As for detergent, I used a sample of the Tide sport detergent on my dog's stuff. If it'll get THAT funky smell out, I doubt there's ANYTHING human it couldn't take care of!

You're exactly right! The best thing to do is just be prepared with a couple of options since it's hard to try to figure out a new arrangement when you first get home.

The doc SAID I could sleep however I wanted, but I spent the first couple of weeks sort of draping sideways over a pile of pillows and mostly sitting up. For some reason, I found that I had a lot of unexpected pain that made laying down or anything like that really hard. By about 6 weeks or so, I could sleep however I wanted.

Now I sleep like a rotisserie chicken because my bones don't seem to know where to go, lol. I have fewer built in cushions . It drives the dog crazy!

My mom went hungry a lot as a kid and it resulted in her viewing food, regardless of what it is, as healthy. There were 5 kids in our family and we all ate the same amount of the same food, and only two of us were fat kids. Now we're all grown and heavy, but it's funny how that works.

Good for you for following up on it - I was too embarrassed and ended up with a fissure. Now I take a preventative softener every night and added Fiber gummies and fish oil (probably works on my head more than my bowels, lol) every morning to keep things moving.

It seems trivial, but nothing to mess around with if it goes on too long. Just like the rest of life, it only takes one miserable a$$hole to ruin your whole day.

Jealous!

I still haven't figured out how to stop cooking like I'm feeding a family of 4, even if I can't eat like one anymore, lol.

I chuckled at "delicious", I'm not sure that exists! But there are quite a few that are good enough to be drinkable every day. I second (third, fifteenth?) Premier, it's easy and tastes like Yoo-Hoo to me when it's ice cold. My other go-to's are Syntrax matrix (particularly mint chocolate cookie and strawberry) and Syntrax nectar Cappuccino (but only doctored up with sugar free caramel coffee flavor and extra espresso powder).

Ice helps, too, at least for me - I tend to like them made with milk but a touch watered down and super cold.

I worried about that too, especially with some leg heaviness. The surgeon's office doesn't seem terribly concerned about it, though. I was about 5 months out when I talked to my PCP and she suggested adding a small orange or banana or some kind of fruit every day since potassium supplements can be hard on the tummy. I do eat a piece of fruit every day now, and still come nowhere near the level we're supposed to hit, but I feel better. You're still so early out, that won't work for you and it might not be what's happening anyway.

It's worth asking to be tested when you go in for your next round of labs just to see how it shakes out. In the meantime, bring up those palpitations - it could be just about anything, and if it's something bad you want to know earlier rather than later. It's PROBABLY not a big deal, but better safe than sorry!

FWIW, I had them really badly before surgery. None of the testing they put me through was painful, except where the lady pushed the doppler wand too hard. That, and the insurance not covering the monitor they had me wear for a month, lol. Mine wound up being mostly anxiety related and resolved with a low dose SSRI.

When it happens, it'll probably come out of nowhere and EVERYONE will say something at the same time.

My boss, my niece, and the girls who sit next to me at work noticed early on (or they were being nice, which is probably it). I haven't dropped a size in 2 months, but a couple of weeks ago people I don't work that closely with just started popping up and complimenting me.

Crazy, right?

You've made some outstanding progress though, and whether anyone notices or not, you have everything to be proud of!