want_so_bad

i am about 10 lbs from goal and holding. i havent had a "problem" for a time now. i basically eat whatever i want, just controlled now. i dont really get stuck or pb or slime or any of that anymore. until day before yesterday. i was eating a sliced up apple with Peanut Butter for a morning snack. i think it was probably about the second bite that seemed to slow down. so i waited. no pain or anything, took another bite and the same thing. began to slime this time and some discomfort. began to full on slime and pb. by the afternoon i was so tight i couldnt eat anything but could gingerly sip fluids. didnt eat anything that night. next morning took a sip, a SIP of coffee and NO!! was not going anywhere. took a good 45 minutes to pass. so i was figuring just swollen/irriated from previous days mishap. well, instead of getting better today, i think i am worse! wth? i havent tried food, not even mushies! but every sip just sits and sits. all day i have maybe had 10 ounces of fluids. i tried hot chocolate, thinking the warm would loosen me up. no. tried some crystal light, maybe got in 2 ounces over several hours. got some pineapple juice a couple hours ago. i have been able to drink 6 ounces of it. i thought maybe it was working but just a few minutes ago i took another sip and its backed up. i am having horrible heartburn. S.O.B. and that is both a sob and a son of a...lol so now i am just debating on how long to wait before i call and schedule a slight unfill. this is the pits.

vonhelzing- i still wear hoodies too! but just to wear them, no to hide! well, i guess i still hide, because of the icky lose skin but not trying to really hide my self. does that even make sense? i cant wait to be able to buy CUTE hoodies, instead of guys!

great idea for a thread! i cut my very long hair short, above my shoulders, and donated it to locks of love. i had always wanted to do it and finally found the courage after losing weight! i donated 11 inches of hair and ended up cutting another 2 1/2 off with the style! amazing feeling. i want to buy different clothes...more trendy and cute. not hiding behind big hoodies as much. this one i havent completely accomplished because i need a tummy tuck to be able to buy smaller pants and shirts to fit correctly, lol. but the dream is much closer to being realized. i dont walk everywhere with my head down, staring at the ground!

blaze- are you for real? please get off you pc high horse! did you read the posts. there is a "normal" in these cases. any reference to "crazy" was not intended to be MEAN. give me a break. i think my father may be bipolar. growing up he always had major mood swings. i remember we always walked on egg shells when he was in a bad mood. or we found reasons to not be home when he was. he was on medications, dad's "happy pills. but they never really made him right, ya know? the littlest things would set him off. or he would hide away in the bedroom. things are still this way now. only its easier for me because i am an adult and dont live at home. my mom stayed with him until this year. she finally has had enough. the saddest part is she stayed "for the kids". we all would have been happier and better off had she left, ya know? but hindsight is 20/20. i think you just have to do what you feel is right. perhaps you would be unhappy for a while if you did leave, but that would change. and maybe if you left that would help him some how? i am sorry i dont have a great answer to help you. i wish you all the best! you are such an amazing woman and i love reading your posts. i found much encouragement through my journy from you.

air- thanks for responding. kinda of a stupid question, but here goes anyway...while building the muscle, do i need to tone too? does that make sense? like, do the muscle building lifts one day and toning the next? or not? does it just stay toned as it builds? omg, that seems retarded to ask. lol. i have been working on my shoulders and triceps too. do you have any suggestions for which lifts/exercises i can do to really focus on this? thanks!

my question is for the best way to go about working/building my arm muscles. i like the size of my arms for the most part, but i NEED more tone. i have some saggy skin and am wondering, if i build muscle (heavier weight, low rep, right?) will it help fill that sag? but i also want it to be nice and toned, so low weight, high rep right? any hints/suggestions would be great.

charlene- i am on savella. have been for, well, since i started this thread. maybe a little over a month? not quite a month? i know a few people on the thread have mentioned being irritable after starting it. i didnt notice that. sometimes i seem like i am in a fog. like i just cant quite think clearly. but not all the time and i dont know if that is because of the savella or not. i think for me its working. i dont seem to be having as many bad days. i am still tired and cant sleep very well though. who knows?

i have noticed little things about my face too. i wonder if its from the weight loss or from being really tired and sick here lately?? either way, i LOVE LOVE LOVE that i no longer have chins. just a chin. one! it still amazes me. i will tilt my head down, trying to make another chin, and about jump with joy that i cant do it now! lol, the little things that make your day. i am still going back and forth with the body image stuff. i will have a couple good days then despise my body for a few. back and forth back and forth. i really really think that i will be better after a tummy tuck and lipo. my biggest insecurity is my stomach/flank/side area. the places the plastic surgeon is gonna work on. its just that whole money thing standing in the way. stupid money! more like stupid lack of money. lol, but such is life. aubrie- i havent had any problems with my hair. thank god. i was really very worried about that. my hair is my baby, lol. the only thing i was used to getting compliments on! have you tried anything for it?

well my good day run came to an end last night. i just wanted to cry. not because of the pain, but because it had returned. does that make sense? i was awake most the night. i swear i had menstral cramps if that were possible! bad ones too. but it isnt possible as i had a hysterecotomy almost a year ago now. this is so frustrating! i know you all feel like this too, i am sorry, i just have to vent. i was feeling good yesterday. went outside to work with the horses. felt great to be outside and working, even getting worked over by a spirited yearling. i drove to pick up my daughter and just in that time i couldnt stand up straight. or pick her up! i had to have my son carry her into the house. i hate it! and i get cranky and irritable as hell. does anyone else? when i am hurting i am snappy and just basically bitchy. i try not to be. i try really hard to notice when i am being that way. but its alot. i think my kids think i am going crazy. i think my husband thinks the same thing. hell, sometimes i feel that way! most days i can make it through basically fine, but evening comes and its killer. anyone else like this? any suggestions for this? thanks for letting me ramble all over the place.

i think you may have forgot the s...its fillcenterSusa dot com. i tried it and it worked. but his first name is derrik i believe. that may not be the proper spelling of his first name, sorry. if that doesnt work for you, pm me and will give you their phone number.

if i raise my arms above my head and kinda jump around, that has helped. (at home only, lol) i have tried pineapple juice once. hurt like hell and i ended up just throwing it up. and then later whatever it was that was stuck. maybe i drank too much? i dont know. ok, and this is gonna be way tmi, but...i swear, like 50% of the time i am stuck, i also have to have a bm. and if i poo, i am no longer stuck. how freakin weird is that???

i had surgery in mexico as well. i use dr muse in slc. i drive from out of state, but he is the closest provider for me. you have to get ahold of fillcentersusa(.com) to make an appointment. you cant make an appointment directly with his office. hope that helps you.

as do you! are stats are very close. great job to you too!