First don't stress out. We all hit a plateau and thats when we figure out really how to use this tool we've been given. If you've plateaued try changing your eating around or increasing your fat burning exercise..my favorite it just dance lol. Depression seems to hit us all and its really confusing because we should be euphoric after losing that much, but sometimes it just doesn't happen that way our brains are tricky creatures. You are literally mourning a life long friend that you relied on, food. You go through the stages and its perfectly normal. If your thinking irrational or thoughts you shouldn't that's not. If you need to pm me to be private.
When I first got depressed I was down around 60lbs. I was standing in the bathroom drying my hair and looked at the sink and thought "I wonder how bad it would hurt to die that way" it was really irrational and scared me. I went that day and waited in the waiting room to speak privately to my surgeon. He got me set up with therapy and helped me a lot even going as far as to call me privately from his home phone.
Try to reflect on the good things right now instead of the bad, i know your going yeah ok. Trust me, get ur hair done or go buy you a top or pants that you like and dress up whether u feel like it or not. That girl that on that table 10 months ago died and the one who woke up is a brand new one you have a chance most don't get and thats to reinvent yourself. Talking it out helps too or at least it does me. I actually get on my own nerves repeating myself but its how I cope now.
Another suggestion stay off the sad sappy music.. get you some crazy jumping music that makes you feel good and inspires you. Music is my life and really its what I turn to for therapy. I also see a therapist once a week to get out frustrations and it helps a lot.
Like I said if u need to chat pm me because I can bet you are not going through something I haven't experienced and I'm a open honest book. It gets better, each day you get stronger.
(((hugs)))
