DarcyA66

I am 46, my DOS is 4Feb13 I'm anxious but excited. Being over forty I'm worried I will have difficulty losing the weight. I'm 5'0" with BMI of almost 47... I was always thin as a kid and maintained healthy weight until I was over 30 after which I was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis and put on Remicade and prednisone for 5 years... My whole view of food changed. I was never full and went from eating normal portions to eating more than my 5'11" husband could eat.... Ashamed and depressed I retreated. About 4 years ago my RA went into remission and I've been off steroids since... I won't even take them short term ever again!! I started working out and lost about 45 lbs. I was starting to have some hope... Then two years ago I lost my 20 year old daughter when a drunk driver struck her car after the kids had pulled over to change a flat tire. We lost her and her fiancé and a good friend of theirs all at the same time. [RIP Elysia, Marcus and Wifredo] The depression was beyond bearable... eventually I gained back all of the weight I had lost and more. Over the past two years and four months I've had to work very hard at being strong for my family and so that I could maintain my job which is a necessity. I am ready now to finally focus on me and get back to that healthy person who seems to be lost inside me somewhere. I want my girl to look down from heaven and be proud that I finally have had the courage to commit to being a better healthier me.