mariaxoxo4u

I'm not banded yet, but I have concerns. I'm wondering if significant weight loss has affected anyone's relationship with their spouse / significant other. I'm in recovery and I've seen a lot of marraiges / relationships break up when 1 person goes into recovery because the dynamic of the relationship changes and co-dependency issues arise etc... I'm married and concerned since my husband married me heavy. Just curious.... Maria

Thanks for your suggestion - I will ask my son's dr., maybe she can direct me to a therapist. Maria

You are a very wise man... These words: "If I were in a relationship now that I felt unfullfilled in, I would be getting OUT of it as soon as I could, because life is too short, and frankly, I deserve better!" Really state it best. The problem is he's not a bad guy. He's kind, and never raises his voice, very passive. To me, he's very dopey, like he went undiagnosed with ADD or something. (He's foreign and did not have a lot growing up) I did know something was up when we were dating but after I had my son (who is mildly autistic) I really became aware that he has a problem. I am not sympathetic at all.. I get angry with him and he can do NOTHING right in my eyes. I feel horrible about this. I know if I lose a substantial amount of weight and feel good about myself and gain some confidence, this relationship will be unsatisfying (as it already is). Do you think an adult can be diagnosed and/or treated for ADD with meds? Just a thought, Maria <!-- google_ad_section_end --><!-- / message --><!-- sig -->

It's weak and getting weaker... What IS sad is my complete indifference to the whole thing. It has nothing at all to do with LapBand. Thanks for your words, Maria

Thanks for your prompt reply Faithmd! Thank you for the heads up regarding letting the protein drink sit for long periods of time. I would think it may start to separate as well. Maybe making small drinks (one at a time) would work better. I'm still having a hard time trying to imagine eating (drinking) meals that have been pureed! The only thing that sounded remotely good was the blended egg salad. I've been on this site for a few months and I have to say I really respect everything you post, you are a "good" bandster and someone I look up to! Thanks for all the great insight! Maria

I'm not banded yet, but getting ready. Maybe I should return The Magic Bullet - I just bought it @ KMart this weekend - It was $70.00. Do you mean that it wasn't powerful enough to completely puree foods? What about protein shakes? Thanks! Maria

I am soooo very happy for you!!! I'm waiting for you to call me with all the details! My thoughts and prayers are with you! Love You, Maria St. Tropez here we come

What if you get a stomach virus with the band? I know the doctor does not want anybody with a band repeatedly vomiting - do you go to the emergency room for an anti-nausea vaccine? I'm not banded yet but very concerned since I have a child in school and he brings home every sickness known to man and I have had the stomach thing numerous times and it's BAD and I'm assuming not so good for the band - any suggestions if this happens? Maria

Yikes Chicken! I'm so sorry. Good luck with your decision... Maria

Just bumping

Oh, if my surgeon is testing for nicotine - that will be a great motivation for me that's for sure!!! But, I do want to quit anyway!!!! Maria

Thanks for everyone's replies and the honesty. I'm having problems with my husband now - he's the nicest, kindest person, not abusive at all, actually way too passive, never raises his voice, never fights back in an argument, lacking in parenting skills (I have a mildly autistic 3 year old) and I do so much work with this child - only for him to undo a lot of my teachings "Not to upset" my son and I think I have lost a lot respect for him in ALL areas. I'm just thinking, If I'm successful with losing weight with the lap band and feeling good about myself etc... I really don't think this relationship is going to satisfy me. But, losing weight could also be instrumental in improving my marraige - with counseling. Thanks for listening.... Maria

Hi Crazyace, Ok, now I get it. Ahh, thank you for the reassurance. Maria

quote.....Maybe i'm wrong but if ur using NYU PAT.. they were NOT very friendly nor helpful in any which way. I was quite disappointed .... Clorox - This does not make me feel good about NYU - not friendly or helpful, YIKES!!!!! I'm going to Dr. Fielding. Please let me know why you feel this way. My nutritional assessment appt is Sept. 10 Thanks! Maria

Thanks for your honesty Brandy.

Hi Toots and Lawanda, I am trying to quit as well. I'm a moderately heavy smoker (pack a day)and I KNOW I must quit before surgery. I am on Chantix too. My quit date was Tuesday and I just couldn't quit. It's Saturday and I'm still smoking. I must admit, after 11 days of taking the medication, I'm finally starting to feel a little different. I don't want it as much and when I do smoke, it doesn't taste as good. So, I guess I'm almost ready - I HOPE! When I had my gallbladder taken out in 2004, my surgeon said he had a hard time getting me off the respirator - he had to almost wake me up before he took the tube out of my throat! So, that was a scare and I know, for me, I will not go under anesthesia as an active smoker again. Wish me luck! Maria

Hmmm... From what I've heard, some surgeons can repair the hernia at the same time as installing the band. There' must be a reason why he's considering switching to bypass.

Congratulations Valzie! Wow, your surgery date came up quick! Hope you are feeling good today - keep posting! Maria

I needed to hear everything you said. You can do "normal" things. Good to hear... Hope to be banded in Oct if all goes well... Maria

I'm so happy for you! What an accomplishment, what a journey... I'm not banded yet, but you are an inspiration to me. Thank you! Maria PS: You are adorable!

Good Luck Alexandra - my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family! Please let us know how you are doing as soon as you are up to it! Maria

LOVE the T-Shirt idea!!!! I 've gotten all the same comments as all of you: pretty face, how far along are you?, you're the fattest thing I've seen all day, just stop eating so much. It doesn't happen as much now that I'm 41 and I usually have my 3 year old in tow - but when you are younger it really hurts. Kids especially are SO cruel. Funny story: I went to a concert at a small venue - after the concert I went to a bar just to hang out. I hadn't been to this bar in about 15 years, so I'm talking to this guy outside, he's around my age, a little weathered, overweight, but very nice - and I was telling him that the last time I was at this particular bar was 15 years ago and I met a really cute guy, we talked, made out etc.. He seemed REAL interested in this story - he turns to me and says "I was that guy". I almost fell over. Well, he remembered my name, the year make and model of my car and other stuff. What are the chances? Anyway, he said to me "Man, we used to be hot, what the hell happened to us?" Funny as hell!!! Maria

Glad to hear you are doing well Debi717! Thanks for the info, good to know about the satellite office in White Plains. Thank you for assuring me about Drs. Fielding & Ren. They are top notch, we are so lucky. Keep me posted on your journey! Maria

Welcome and good luck on your journey! I'm in North Haven / Sag Harbor, NY - I can wave to you from the Ferry! Maria

WHOO HOO Connie - Congrats and welcome! Maria