goddessblaze

I have always been very active, played sports worked out etc.. and have thought well if i workout for 2 hrs a day i can eat around 1800 calories and be ok..and then I would have one big cheat day. Now that i have had WLS 9/13, i have lost my ever loving mind. and i really think i am in love with food. I have been dreaming of it.. I dreamed last night i was a golden coral eating everything and let me tell you it was sooooooooooooooo good. then my husband woke me up right before i got to the desserts, I was so pissed.. Now I have my answer to why my weight came on and off, not because i didnt eat right, but because i ate crap.. I am scared at how my mine it going to adjust if in my subconscious I am dreaming of food..I dont eat red meat and all i want to do is go get a hamburger right now.. i mean really who does that!! what is wrong with me.. ugh I am so disgusted right now..

I start mine in the am.. For my surgey sch on 9/13!!!! This is going to kill me...

Good luck..n prayers..

is a song title from the movie "seven pounds" and describes how I feel one most days, I just wish it would let go of me. Well in some ways it has,, I got the call today that I have been approved for surgery. I have gone with RY, as i feel the LBand with not give me the effects I needs and want. Pre -op appt 8/31/2012 10:30am, Surgery 9/13/2012.. 5'7 1/2 , 240 , 41yrs old, and have OA of the knees, kidney stones, major depressive disorder, anixity, OCD . I think I am very lucky to say I dont have sleep apena, HTN, type2, comorbities, yet i found this to be a reason why I needed to have this surgery done, before I get them. I found even though I work out 5 days a week at a boot camp style system and have a personal trainer and i do roller derby, I find alot of the things I cant no do because of my knees and the weight I carry. Plus I go back and forth on diets. I also have a 17yrs type1 diabietic son (dx in 2009). I joke around ALOT about my weight and ebery thingks i should go in to stand up.. but deep down inside, i think when i have to sit down to put on my shoes, or im out of breath walking 18 holes of golf it makes me sick inside.. I hate asking my husband to buckle the strap on my high heels, or help me up because my knees hurt. I would like to not have to lay in bed with ice or heat on my back or knees every night after I do something like dance, workout,or better yet i havent been able to skate due to a tailbone/coccyx injury 3 weeks ago.. I am in the medical field and have my MA,EMT, PCT. so I know about the surgery. I am a organ donor and and have discussed with the doctor is something was to happen to me and i was not to survive the surery what I want done, I think he was a little taken back from that conversation, but i guess working in the ER does that to you. I will continue to blog as much as I can, right now my real thought is.. how thin is too thin? my husband is deploying and wont be here for oct to april. so he will come home to someone totally thinner wife, will he like that? also COFFEE, yikes.. i should start to cut down.. Please excuse the typos, this is the 1st blog i have ever wrote and i have know idea what I am doing or were the spell check thing is and NONE of my words are underling in RED,,, wth,,, lol, where is my son when i need him.

I have dermals so , um they don't come out.. i wonder how they will handle that? i also am perc'd head to toe to say the least..

I am not sure, I have to call the dr in the am to sch the pre op appt. you surgery is sch for 9/10/2012 right? I bet you are so excited!!! it would be kinda of cool to have surgery around the same time so I would have someone to talk to about it..as you read, my s/o will be deployed for the major part of my weightloss amd healing. I have been so busy talking about myself... thati do thank you for relpying to my messages,, and I wish you the best on your surgery!!!

Approved !!!!!!! Tears roll down my face as I type this out of joy!!!!! The paperwork says approved so it is really going to happen... I am so happy. Now the fun yet sad thing is my hubby will not be here. He will be tdy overseas about 2 weeks after surgery and rtn 8months after my surgery. So he will come home to a thinner wife. Won't that be a shocker!!!!

Congrats pretty lady

Update....letters submitted now tricare wants a date for surgery. Which I found weird . So it is pending approval. My dr gave the date od 9/10/2012. Which is the one yr anniversary of the death of my aunt,in which she killed herself, note we are very superstitious and since then my youngest uncle died and my cousin all under the age of 50. This has happened in the last 11months, if something was to happen to me I would be number 4 which means death in Japanese . Maybe I am thinking to hard about this and freaking myself out,but my family blames all the misfortune on my aunt and the fac she has set forth the. Demon of death.. So I'm kind of scared on the omen side of thing... But so excited if they approve it..maybe the dr can move the day to 9 /12/2012... I'm sure you guys are all reading this laughing but it is a real concern when your whole family is bury love ones all the time this 2012 and it has only been 11 months and their all n fighting about it .i just hope everything works out..

Congrats!!!!

Hi everyone went to my pcp yesterday and he said he would write what ever I need in a letter regarding weight loss programs. So I will pick up the letter in 24hrs. Hopefully that will be all they need, on top of the fact he has had me on a cal res, diet for the past 6months. N my weight loss has not moved. So my fingers r crossed!!!!

I have tricare prime south, started in march got everything done n now they want more documents re weight loss programs.... So I have gone to my pcp and he said he would write me a letter stating what ever I needed so I am really hoping the letter will be enough and I will be cleared for surgery.

Plz see my reply