Sunshine22

After I lost weight, I had very deep folds from my nose to below my lips.
I had 2 syringes of Juvederm injected by my dermatologist. The cost was $600 per syringe. The filler lasts for approximately 1 year.
I am 8 months out from the injections and still very pleased! I just look refreshed and natural.
Good luck!

After I lost weight, I had very deep folds from my nose to below my lips.
I had 2 syringes of Juvederm injected by my dermatologist. The cost was $600 per syringe. The filler lasts for approximately 1 year.
I am 8 months out from the injections and still very pleased! I just look refreshed and natural.
Good luck!

So every once in a while, my therapist says something that really hits home with me and she said something yesterday that has been rumbling around in my head since then and thought I would share.
I have a food addiction. Specifically to crunchy salty treats - Cheezits, Cheetos, Ruffles Potato chips, etc. I still on occasion binge on these items (and yes it is possible because these things crunch up in to tiny pieces). I lie to myself and say I will portion them out and eat them in reasonable portions and I always start that way, but in the end, I always grab the bag/box and finish them off. Sometimes I feel sick from it. Sometimes I don't. I don't want to do this, but yet probably once every 2 or 3 weeks, I do this. (I am 11 months post-op for those curious.) (Please don't post and lecture me about this. I know it is an issue and I am working on it. That is not the purpose of this post.)
Anyway, as my therapist and I were talking about this, she asked me to describe how I felt when I am approaching the snack aisle at the grocery store or the snack aisle at the gas station (when I am on a road trip for example) and after thinking about it, I answered "anxiety". What I mean is, I start feeling how much I want those Snacks and yet how much I don't need them and how I am going to be strong enough to avoid them.
She said "Think of the addiction as an outside force. This is something coming from outside of you and you need a strategy to overcome that voice. Some people come to me who have worked for months and months on just sheer willpower and come in completely exhausted. They just cannot fight with sheer willpower anymore." The exhaustion part of that statement is something I keep thinking about. How many of us did Weight Watchers or Atkins or South Beach or whatever diet and we did SO well but one day, we were just so exhausted with counting our points or our carbs and just gave in to the exhaustion and grabbed what we wanted, and then the next day and the next day and the next thing we knew we couldn't get back on track?
All along in this journey, I have feared maintenance. I mean I have lost weight before only to gain it back and then some. But she said to me I needed a mind shift. Don't live in this sheer willpower stage. It won't work. Understand that I have an addiction which comes from outside of me and figure out how to defeat it. My specific plan we came up with - when I am approaching that aisle and hear (or feel) that desire for the food, OUTLOUD say NO! (Ok, not so loud that others stare at me, but you see what I am saying) And then replace the thoughts with music - something to drown out the voice until the urge passes. She said to turn around and leave if I had to. I said "leave the grocery store if I am not through shopping?" and she said "absolutely - if you just cannot deal with it at that time, then leave. Leave your cart there or just checkout with what you have. You can come back later."
I haven't had to put this in to practice yet, but I have been thinking about music to put on my phone to get me through that (or that I can sing in my head). A theme song if you will to get me past it. Eventually this will all become a little easier - a little farther between the cravings. It already has - otherwise I wouldn't be down 141 pounds. I hope I defeat him completely someday. I am not sure if I will. For now the addict monster is still there and I am learning how to defeat him and wear him down a little at a time....

Great advice. I am a huge believer that willpower is a lie.
Sometimes, just saying "not right now" is better than "never again".
I am also a big believer in HALT: trying not to get too Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired, and realizing when I am in that state that food may not be the right solution (except for the hungry, in which case, healthy food is the solution).
One huge revelation for me, that I am still working through, is that I don't have to buy everything at the store at once. I can just buy a few things (mostly fresh food). I don't have to buy enough for an army every time. (I grew up in a family of six people but have been single and living alone for many, many years and still tend to want to shop for an army).
I try to visualize myself as a Parisienne who markets frequently. Sometimes that works!

to all WLS newbies VET's, and everyone else in betwen
Today i celebrated my 62nd birthday
party dance party dance!!!
it's been 4 amazing years since i moved to sleeve land
i was one of the lucky ones that hardly had any problems PO
(not even gas!!)
in my previous life
i wore elastic waist blue jeans to work
they "hid" my rear end !!!
i wore big blouses/t-shirts
I looked great - NOT
didn't care about my appearance
if i didn't look in a mirror - i was "ok"
miserable etc - but that WAS me
fast forward
i have lost 105 lbs!!! GOAL
i feel wonderful, healthy and happy
experienced a lllllllong list of NSV's
and they keep coming
as i was reaching GOAL
my life was changing, improving
loosing the weight improved/got rid of meds and health issues
i "gained" confidence, happiness, - all those great feelings
"those feelings" were always there
couldn't find "them"
they were hiding
under all my blubber!!!
i peeled my excess skin off
feel like wonder women!!!
"we"/most say "WLS is not easy"
mental improvements aren't easy either
getting head/body issues to mesh together
isn't easy either
i'm stlll a work in progress
i look amazing, i really do
"cute as a button" LOL
DOS
12/15/11
235 lbs
57 years OLD

present
130 lbs
GOAL
62 years YOUNG!!!
Happy B'Day to me, today!!!!
my weight is a part of my past, present and future
life gets better and better
i am 5'3 short
but i feel 10 ft tall
congrats to ME
kathy

169, thanks!

168, thanks!

169, thanks

168, thanks!

168...Thank you!

168 today. Thanks

169 this week. Thanks

I'm in!
SW-169
GW-155
Thanks:)

167.2, thanks

Sorry to spam you guys... Today is my 1 year out. Look at the difference! I don't even look like the same person. I was down 109.8 pounds this morning. I completed my first triathlon earlier this year. I can run miles. I just am in disbelief. Thanks for letting me share with you! And thanks for competing in my challenges. You guys keep me going some days, even when it's rough!

167.5, thank you!

168. Thanks!

167.8 Thanks

168. Thanks

168:) Thank you

Hi.
I forgot to enter my SW on Monday...169.
Thanks!

I'm in!
GW 155
Thank you!

I'm so sorry you're having difficulties. BED sounds like a big, scary label to hang around your neck. You're not alone. Most people who have long-term issues with obesity that brings them to WLS could be or have been diagnosed with an eating disorder. We don't get here because we have healthy relationships with food or our bodies.
It seems like you're a little trapped in the obsession/compulsion aspect of it right now.
There's nothing to feel guilty about. Please don't beat yourself up over this. I think it might be helpful to look for some emotional support from loved ones, 12-step group or maybe people with whom you share spiritual beliefs. I hope you aren't feeling isolated and ashamed. I would disbelieve most accounts people give of their experience with this journey if they denied having to confront their addiction, more than once, before and after surgery. I haven't lately but it's there waiting for me if...
If I knew you and your issues my desire to "mommy" everyone around me would kick in (another of my unresolved issues...lol) and I'd try to help. I wish I had some magic words for you. All I can tell you for sure is you ARE NOT ALONE. This isn't uncommon and doesn't have to define the rest of your journey.
The self-sabotaging component of BED thinking is going to be whispering in your ear that you might as well give up, may as well go off the deep end since you already stopped being perfect etc. My guess is you're already dealing with feelings of shame and failure. Here's the part you should know: THAT'S ALL BULLS**T!
This can be ok. This is resolvable. You have nothing to feel bad about. Most of us have been there whether we admit it or not. Perfection isn't attainable for any of us but success is. Relax, by naming it and talking about it you're already closer to figuring out what works for you. GOOD JOB!
If I can be helpful please reach out to me. In fact, most here would be good to talk to.
HUGS

I did it.....The OLD MAN did it!!!
St. Kitts, climbed a Volcano, over 3000 feet through a Tropic Rain forest.
I am 63 years old, the next age was a couple who were 42...after that everyone was in their 20's and 30's.
We broke up in 3 groups of 12...if you were falling behind, you would drop back a group. If a group was slowing you down, then you moved up a group. Took us 3 hours to get to the summit.
I started in the first group, and stayed there.
Half of the 2nd group didn't make it, and we never saw the 3rd group...they all quit.
I go to the gym 4-5 days a week, run 5 &10 K's, but THIS was probably the toughest Challenge I have done in 20 years!!!
That's why I did it...to prove it to myself!
Yes, I was once morbidly obese, had diabetes, heart trouble, etc etc.
Five years ago I could not climb the stairs in my house without getting short of breath.
Am I bragging?? You Bet!! And it is all because of the Lap Band Surgery!!!
(Next day I jumped off a 45ft cliff into the crystal clear Caribbean....no one else would do it)

Yay! I do remember the excitement...took a picture of the scale!!!
And believe me, I wished that I knew how to do cartwheels. Because I was that happy... Lol:)
Good luck to you!