Jennifer Bennett

Hello, My name is Jennifer, and my husband and I went to one of the bariatric surgery seminars a few weeks ago. We have had a follow up with the surgeon, appt with the dietitian, and my husband has attended I think 3 weekly support/information meetings that his surgeon runs. I'm posting here, because I truly want honesty and I'm not sure where else to put this. I am having some major concerns at this point. A little about me-I am not overweight, and I have no idea what that is like. I am a recovering addict, so the "addiction" issues that my husband has I do understand somewhat, I realize however that having food as an "addiction" is very different than drug and alcohol addiction. My husband (and I ) are 40. He is about 5'10" and currently weighs about 280. He has struggled with weight his entire life, but there have been times he was able to lose and keep weight off. This is the most he has ever weighed. I know he is miserable, depressed, uncomfortable, in pain and has no energy. We have gone through every diet, Meal Replacement, weight loss pills, etc-if they work, he stops doing them and then the weight comes back. He hates diets, hates being told, "you can't eat that" All the diets we have tried, low-carb, high Protein, he quickly abandons because of the restrictions. After our first one on one discussion with his surgeon we were talking about some of the lifestyle changes. His surgeon is a vegan, and my husband very clearly stated, well, I'm not going to do that kind of diet. He came home after group last night and appeared agitated and angry. We are dealing with some budget issues as well right now, and one of our huge expenditures is eating out, so that's something we are trying to drastically reduce. I went grocery shopping yesterday and on the way home I was thirsty so I got one of those frozen coffee things from burger king. This apparently was what triggered my husbands anger. After he had been home for a while, (he went and laid down almost immediately after he got home) he came into the kitchen and we were eating dinner. We started talking about how his meeting went, and it became very clear that he was really upset. My husband is normally pretty laid back, so this was a bit odd. Basically what it came down to is that he feels that we ALL eat lousy food and he doesn't want this lifestyle change to be "all his fault" and we really need to learn how bad all the food we eat is. OK, so over the past few years, I have changed a lot about our diet. I have traded out regular pastas for either whole wheat, rice, or veggie options, we don't eat potatoes hardly ever, low sodium everything, more salads and fresh veggies and fruits. If hamburger is in this house at all its 96% lean, more often its been replaced by ground turkey. I read and try to stay informed about healthy food choices. I do have 3 kids at home, all of whom pack a lunch every day. They have available to them quick microwave heat up things like pizza or chicken nuggets, there are chips and granola bars and applesauce, and puddings for Snacks to go with lunch. There is also fresh fruit that they take as well. Jason (my husband) seems to think this all needs to change. There shouldn't be any "junk" type foods ever, we are teaching our kids horrible eating habits, they are going to hit their 30s and 40s and become overweight. Bread is a useless food, unless it's homemade due to preservatives and even then it's minimally nutritious at best, (he became aware just last night I believe that he prob can't eat bread, or pastries or pancakes etc once he does this surgery) Bread and carbs are a bigger attraction for him than say candy and Cookies. Eliminating those items in the past for diets has caused him to hate diets. I'm concerned that if he goes thru with surgery he will just end up more depressed and angry at the limitations he is going to be under. Any thoughts?

Thanks everyone for all your input, I really appreciate all your thoughts! He has seemed back on an even keel since the other day. His 2nd appt with the dietitian is in two weeks and I will be with him for that, I think I will bring up my concerns there. I am hoping he was having a bad day. For the most part, even tho there are some junk foods in the house, it's pretty rare that they are consumed in front of him at all. The kids take that stuff to school with them, and even if they have chips or something after school, he usually isn't home from work-the times we eat together we are eating the same thing, his portions will just be smaller post surgery. I think I will send him the link for the site so he can come check it out too =) Jennifer