Nykee

A twelve year old girl was banded the same time I was.. I thought that was great.. (I assume it was well thought out and she was very heavy and her health was at risk) The Doctor told me he didnt understand why people have a problem with banding at such a young age, he thinks its the best time.. I think I agree. Especially in this day and age with the Obesity epidemic.

Delarla, isnt eating way way too much (like you say you do and cant control) a really dangerous thing to do with the GB? I know it abuses the band and the stomach to do so, (I am talking in an extreem way) .... but wouldnt it be really scary to have that problem with the GB? My problem is almost the opposite,.. I really hate that full sick feeling.. and dont do it (like penni said about eating two hamburgers and fries (I would puke)... this is why I think the GB is a better option for me than the band... In penni's case, I think the band is a great option that worked and thought I dont know whats its like go throuh losing the band.. I think I would get rebanded .. I mean I personally would get the GB in a heartbeat if I could.,. (Dumping syndrome would set my butt straight!!! lol)

My candy of the month is M&M's I been having alot of smoothies too. (chocolate banana, from a mix, as sugary as they make I am sure.. 68cents each) and these chips, they are hawian or (cant recal the name, comes in a purple bag) they ARE salty and sweet.. in fact sugar comes before salt does in the ingrediant list.. I have been having many many meals consisting of these chips WITh M&M's in the same mouthfull... and sometimes I have spinach dip with it (new thing I never had before, I bet its sweet too! (like the way coleslaw is) OF course I need to knock this off...!!!!!!! I am not loosing weight and its all the munchie sweets why... So per the first post.. I dont have trouble getting Protein down cuz I drink plenty of it.... and what do I do about my sugar cravings? Nothing. Nothing.. I try.. But what the F*ck that means anymore to me, I dont know. (my fill is not tight at all right now, but that doesnt really matter much in regard to the sweeets I listed above... except I couldnt eat them in the morning, early afternoon, thats all.....) I have plans again.. I think I will start saying "plan" instead of the word "try".... of course I see no reason why my plans will work out this time when they never ever have before.. but of course there is no way that will stop me from having plans and thinking it will actually happen.. SWEETS part of the PLAN: No nesquick in house. 1/3 less sugar grape juice smoothie maddness with splenda, berries, skim milk, ice... etc NO candy bought at a staple 'for mom' "cuz thats all I can get down sometimes and I HAVE to have it" (bags from costco) NO kid can run to small store for candy fix EVER.. (only I can buy myself candy if I am out and about and I go into store to buy it and its NOT for at home) I already bought two giant sized bozes of reduced fat/sugar Kettle korn mini bags.. in place of the crunchy sweetness I crave.. sugar free popcycles (WHO cares if the real ones are 99cents! I LIKE sugar free popcycles just the same (rare for me who is addicted to sugar) so SPEND the extra money. I dont drink pop much, eat sugar cerial much, or use table sugar.. so thats already fine.. and I dont buy fast food item drinks, so thats fine... OH and I already bought a bunch of snackwells Cookies for when I crave cookies.. and to use them at home.. I am going to do a whole wheat, less sugar, dark green veggie diet thing.. thats the plan anyway.. I been stocking up and preparing alittle and when i get a fill, I will be all ready..

newsho, THANK YOU Your post has gave me hope, when I had so little. I didnt know anything about recpnstructive surgery, and now I know alittle more (alot more) You gave me enough 'educated' words about it, that I beleive you and feel like its worth researching (before I was just being neggative) THANKS sooo much. I dont know anything about scars either... I dont notice mine at all..

thank you this is my therapy sharing like this I know others think this way too (not exactly) they just arent comfortable saying every little thing that comes up especially if its not regular ...there is not enough hours in the day for a therapist to help me sort through my feelings... I do pretty well on my own But I think the more I think and fell, the more that breeds more thinking and feeling... a vicious cycle.. its fun... in a sick and twisted way.... but it would NOT be fun on Oprah. !!!! lol unless it was during her "my favorit things" gift giveaway! p.s. My friend died yesterday. I have to keep busy.. Feel free to ignore me.. I took soooooo many valium, I cant sleep.. or cry or let the phone be free (dial up)

photonut, you are so right about the soft foods.. and the carbs and calories... I food log real real so I am aware of how it can add up but not seem like you ate so much.. I can easily consume 3000 calories a day, snacking and drinking...(on the band!) lol If I could ever keep it under 1000 calories like so many are doing.... I cant imagine not loosing weight.. I dont beleive in starvation mode.. not at 800 calories, and not short term, if your at it for months on end (never cheating) then Maybe.. Starvation means Starvation... your body might protect 5 pounds at the most... imo

I platued for months... I dont keep track of inches, but this is the time when all my skin went lose and flabby and shiften and drooped.. So I count it.. when I was so tight, I choked for almost two months, lucky to get a meal once a week... I didnt lose weight.. well I yo yo'd the same 10 pounds... thats all the advice I can give.. I am 17 months in and still feel clueless..

THANKYOU.. THANK YOU. THankyou... What an inspiration you are.. I totally needed that...:girl_hug: Thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I've learned the hard way <HR style="COLOR: #d1d1e1" SIZE=1><!-- / icon and title --><!-- message -->Just thought I'd post a few things I've learned after having the lap band installed. I hope you dont mind me putting my spin on your cool post! 1. You get hungry after a week or so. I was absolutely ravenous, but I found ways to eat Protein and still managed to lose 9 pounds in 2 weeks. >>>>>>I was never hungry.. and if I got a hunger pain here and there it didnt bug me.... (this was the same before the band, but then I was eating wasnt I..lol) >>>>>>>>I got kinda hungry for the first time in february and march when my band was too tight, my fill doctor was out of the country, and I went days without eating.. I am usually good for three days max.... this was three days, then a week,. then two days, on and off for two months... I did get hungry! but it takes so little to saticecy those pains.. (to me) I had to have steroid shot to open me up... Then it was time to pig out before I was back to choking again.. (pig out on Soup and candy and chips, lol) 2. You really need to chew your food a whole lot. I got hungry and didn't chew enough and, boy, that hurt. It helps to wash the food down with Water. >>>>>>>>>from day one, I had no problem chewing my food to death...I felt like a pro. (i never told anyone that before, lol) Now a days, I chew a while and get sick of it and spit it out.. its easier. I know what the pain is.... thus the chewing pro! Oh and I drink with almost everything I eat. I dont find it washes the food down, it actualy limits my food intake.. I dont like filling my pouch with solids, it feels weird. I rather eat less and be able to drink! 3. Plan on throwing up at least once. I was doing just fine and got a piece of food stuck. So I drank some water and that went down the wrong tube so I was coughing and carrying on when I just burped up the food. It was just like a baby burps. Unfortunately, I did it on the carpet. This would be most embarrassing in company. >>>>>>Thats a PB, I had one on pills for 9 hours and on my saliva for 30 more hours. I dont do it. 4. Don't pick up heavy stuff for at least 4 weeks. I picked up a couple of cases of Dasani water and sprang a leak or something in my stomach. It hurts a bit, but I suspect it will go away in awhile. >>>I dont remember any recovery at all.. I think and think and NOTHing.. I had glue residue. And little red marks.. 5. Yard work is probably not good for a month or so after the surgery. >>>what surgery did you get? 6. Deviled eggs are good and they go down well if your family doesn't eat them all. >>>YUM, and low carb! 7. Buy stock in the Dasani water company.>>>>I do, (but I dont drink water, its gross) My four kids drink 4 cases a month.. 8. fruit juice mixed with water is good. >>>>Thats like getting your cocain mixed with cutt stuff...(bunk dope) ... I am addicted to juice. UNCUT, lol 9. You can drink if you want to expend the calories. I drank some brandy and lived to tell about it. But it's fattening. >>>>Drinking alcohal has not changed at all for me.. It does not affect me more or anything like that.. 10. You can poach anything -- pork chops, chicken, beef--just let it boil enough and you can eat it. >>>>>>>I need a cook! 11. My sweet tooth did not disappear. I have a piece or two of candy though and am satisfied. I find chocolate mints do the trick. >>>I eat more candy now than I ever did before. 12. Taking care of one's 86 year old mother after surgery is a real pain in the wazoo. >>>My mom is 49, I thinkk.. please dont remimd me she may get bent someday. 13. It is wise to have a Cadillac or other luxury car after surgery. It hurts less, and the air conditioner is good. (I bought a Cadillac on eBay and love it.) >>>>>>>>>>>>yeah, and a private jet too.. 14. Excited dogs are not good when you first come home. One of my dogs jumped up on my stomach which was pretty bruised. He meant well. >>>I was laying on my stomach the first night and these other banded ladies were all freaking out about it.. (hey at least they could walk around and sip gatoraid while I was still gagging on ice chips) 15. It is probably better if your cat does not bring in a field rat to live with you while you are recovering. Our rat seems to be doing well and is healthy so far. Of course, I feed it and give it water. Okay, I'm a severe animal lover. I hope to capture it in my net and put it outside. This is much better than discovering it's innerds on my beige carpet. >>>awwwww, I coulndt live without my animals 16. A person can tell if he/she is full if he/she pays attention. If one doesn't pay attention, pain can result. >>>>>>>>I dont call it "full".... but I agree.. 17. It is difficult to make oneself exercise if one hates exercise like I do. I still haven't managed that, but my friends are lobbying for me to sign up at the fitness center. I figure I can do the low impact aerobics which consist of waving one's arms around. I may sign up for yoga which doesn't involve heavy lifting or jogging on a treadmill. I might be willing to walk sedately on a treadmill, but the exercise freaks always expect so much. >>>I cant imagine ever being into excersize.. maybe DO something thats active and excersizes your body.. BUT plain ol excersize in a gym... not for me.. (?) 18. Expect your metabolism to change. I have been waking up at ungodly hours like 5:45 a.m. I have spent many years arranging my life so that I could sleep late, and I wake up early! This is disgusting. I hope my metabolism returns to its normal laziness soon since I'm on vacation. I will wake up early when I go back to work. >>>I dont notice metabolism. Its a mystery to me. These are just a few of pitfalls of the lapband that I have discovered. Stay tuned for new developments >>>haha that was fun... have you seen the "you might be a bandster" thread its hillarious

wow, so many who felt like a thin person inside... I can understand that.. but It sure didnt happen to me, lol I was "fat' before I was even fat. When I was a kid, I was tall and curvy and not skinny. I was NOT the fat kid. I was like 110-120 in 6th grade.. I had meat on me is all.. But my dad always called me fat... (as soon as I grew boobs at age 8 and looked like a teen at age 10....I realized later) I was sexually harrassed so much by peers, I assumed I was being teased for being fat, not aware at that time about my looks and overdeveloped body. So, at age 15, 135 pounds (once 150 pounds)......................... .............I was a fat pig, I never enjoyed my body, ever............ By age 18, I was 300 pounds...and gaining. I cant describe how fat I felt.. how fat I have always felt. How fat and engorged and choking on my self I feel EVERY minute. I have lots of mobility problems and that makes me feel it ALL the time.. I have never been surprised by how I looked in mirrors or in photographs concerning my fat... (well, my back boobies are alittle shocking to see) In fact, many times I have looked at a pic and thought, I dont look half as discustingly morbidly obese as I thought I did..... now, My looks... Thats a different story... I am totally a pretty girl trapped in an ugly chics hell.. lol I am always let down when I look in the mirrior and see pics of my self... "AM I really that ugly?" "GEEEEze, I am UGLY!" totally exspecting something better, and rarely getting it... The camera dont lie! I will take dozens of pics in a row in my digi, and each one is the same.. THATS what I look like! urgggggg.. "it cant be true!" My daughters say "thats NOT what you look like all the time" I say "your used to me, and you dont see me like that, but THATS what I look like most the time, getting all made up and posing just right and taking 200 pics till one looks good IS a LIE.. sigh, is it selfish to just want to be pretty? (actually pretty, NOT just accept your self and find your prettyness inside.. been there, done that..)

I been paranoid about complaining.. but if I dont make the thread, it doesnt count.. lol A note about whining... I have a ton of possitive stiff I could write about.... but, its the crappy stuff that I feel compelled to write about because I am working through it, I am figuring stuff out, I am LETTING IT all out, ..... I think it helps me. I am sorry if anyone feels cruddy over it. This is not how I feel all the time or in total... BUT feel free to say anything you want to me... I am not looking for attention, but I welcome it. Dont ever feel like you have to hold back. I hate to think of that happeneing.. anyway. ................. Dont mind the highlighting, i did that for my notes... sorry. BAD times. I have lost about 100 pounds. I have alot of mixed emotions. I am not myself. I didnt exspect myself to change mentally as much as I have. (I wont go into all of that now) I have this crappy mood. I KNOW I have lost 100 pounds and thats a good thing, and I should be celebrating and trying my new bod out.... But, instead... I have stopped dating. (I had a blast, BTW. I am single, and happily) I have stopped going out. ( I am down 95% of my normal outside time) I have stopped trying to look nice. (I wear my old pants, so baggy they fall off, that used to be something I would never tolerate, now I dont care) I hate my body. (and I thought I hated it before!) I feel discusting. It was just fat, now its nasty blobing deformation. I dont like my picture taken like I did when I first got the band. I dont even get naked in front of my kids anymore. (tub, changing, ect..and thats crazy cuz I WOULD never have self consciousness with my children in the normal frame of mind as I see it as real real low.. IT is NOT cuz I cant handle all the new things.... blah blah I have not experienced anything yet. I hide in my old clothes. I dont talk about my process much at all (embarrassed how slow I am loosing due to all the complications and $ troubles) I Dont want to say "I lost 100 pounds" and have so little to show for it. Its simply cuz I feel I look discustingly ugly.... I feel worse now about my looks than I did before I lost the weight. Plus I am dissapointed too. Plus I am worried about what will happen to my mood when I loose the next 100 pounds.. (making me a 200 pound fatso) I got used to my body. It was 400 pounds and It wasnt pretty. I did not look good by any means. BUT I was used to my body and I had accepted it and did the best I could with it. I was extremely self conscious, constantly 'fixing' myself. (But I hid it, lol) The things I had to worry about were: My skin was very white and streachmarks everywhere, I think I might have let the fattness go,l but the white streachmarks were really bad. I could not tan (didnt work) and self tanning stank and make me sweat. I didnt go fully naked ever. I had things to cover me up, just as much as needed. It took alot to show my legs, only to good frineds cuz they were very blobby, huge blobs... I wore capris that just hid the bloobs, always worried about them riding up. My ankles were normal thank goodness. My upper arms are deformed. They always have been the worst thing that happened to me with my weight gain. One of them has this ridge thats seriously abnormal, and sleeves never fit. I am poor, or else I would never wear anything but long or 3/4 sleeves... But I had to make the best of it, It was a constant thing worrying about if my arm fat was hanging out in a gross way. I mean there are certain levels of FATTNESS that should be contained! It was my duty to the world. GAWD MY upper arms have tortured me for so long.. My lower arms are normal as can be, (making them look even weirder!) My back, butt, fathump... So I dont have a butt, my actual buttcheeks are the size of the palm of my hands. I have what we call the 'fat hump'.. its a hump above my butt below my back, that HURTS like heck to be touched.. and I have the extra set of boobs on my back, literally big Double D boobies... Its all I can do to keep my bra strap covering them so they are as little as possible, it rides up unable to contain the boobies in back, but that didnt stop me from adjusting myself every five minutes, my back boobs so embarrassing. I hide them at all cost on important occassions.. other times, I HAVE always been shocked, never got used to how I looked when I caught my reflection sitting, By back as big as by front.. Double chin, when I went from 350 pounds to 400 pounds, THAT was a real noticeable change, no matter what I did, I could not hide it... It was too much, my face engorged all the time.. It really bothered me, alot. ok........ all that stuff, I got used to. Yeah, I hated it, obsessed over it, but It wasnt a big deal.. I call it FATTIE maintenence, its just what I did.. I didnt seem like a big ordeal at all.. ITS NOT that I want that body back.!!!!!!!!!!!! ITS not that I want to be 400 pounds instead of 300 pounds.. I DONT. I would never want to go back, NOT at all.. This is my body now, and I am NOT used to it.. I dont know what to do with it... but hate. It was surpose to be great. I HAVE LOST 100 pounds, HELLO.. I never thought it would happen, I dreamed of it for so long.. (I do have lots of possitives, but I am not in that place rightnow) ...My skin is still white and streachmarked.. But it is also, brown in spots, puckered, wrinkled, pock marked, blotchy and red pores all over. The pores and pocks and such used to be streached out I guess loooking like my actual skin, now they arent and parts of my body are corroded looking (they are not corroded, nothing could be done about it, its mostly pores from years and years of being clogged and cleaned, just like a face.. YUCK) This is mostly happening in my thighs and butt area. It all hangs, but not down so much as inward. When i sit, there it all is, my inner things squishing up inbetween my legs.. I have this 'cool' (lol) way of sitting, Its hard to explain..but it was my best way to 'hang out' 'look ok' 'relax'.... And now when i do it, all I do is expose all the blobulating fat in all its glory.. (this makes me LOOK, and feel FATTER.. BTW) Also, I have this really nice swim dress for the ymca, and it covered me just enough so that I didnt need to wear capris like I always used to... NOW, I hang below the swim dress.. I can feel it swinging back and forth and giggling all over.. IT looks like a massive vagina (the lips) inbetween my legs.. the swim dress still covers it I HOPE.. I cant enjoy my suit. (plus its too big, lol) OK, along with all of that... I have folds and creases with their own folds qnd creases.. It started out with one, and I proudly showed it off.. I use cleansing wipes when I go to the bathroom aslways, and it was my little ritual to use to wipe and clean my new blobs crease cuz It needed more cleaning than my regular bathing...... So, NOW.... I cannot afford that many wipes (they are a luxery as it is) and they smell and a few times now have developed rashes and they make me want to vomit to feel them. I Dont even know where they are all anymore. I have stopped paying attention, I dont look.. I cant imagine anyone touching me with all these creases in the way... THESE creases and folds make me feel fatter than EVER! My double chin is still there.. BUt theres something worse than a double chin.. its this droopy look to my face, especially around my cheeks and mouth.. that looks so off.. No one else can notice it, but I'm in the mirror enough to know its wierd looking.. I look older, I think it will get even worse. I STILL want to look like me. Everyone says I would be brittney spears if I was thin.... NOT (I never thought so).. everyone will FINALLY see what I have been saying all along, I AM UGLY! (FAT AND ugly) MY UPPER ARMS... I dreamed of the days I got some normalcy back in my upper arms, not to have to constantly worry whats hanging out my sleeves. .............. Oooooooooops, i didnt think about how worse it would be to wear sleeves, how all the fat has sagged downward instead of a big bunched up ball... so, I feel worse all the time.. it looks alot worse, it makes me feel fatter! iT MAKES ME look fatter too. One thing I like is to hold my arms up and let the fat sag to my arm pit (a fold or two here) ONLY then can I look at my arms and happy that the huge bunched up deforemed balls are GONE.. I am glad about that.. I love to giggle my LEDGE thats a slope now... My back... IS awesome.. ... WOW WOW WOW.. My back boobies have sagged into my sides, under my arms.... My bra easily holds everything in and doesnt ride up and the nightmear of adjusting constantly is over.. I walk by the mirror and look at my backside and think.. WOW, I am Skinny.. lol If I had one of those support back bra things, I could easily look as if I never had boobies on my back! The only other time I can think this is looking at my wrists and ankles. They are tiny.. way noticeable.. BUT, there is my stomach... OMG.. of course I never liked my stomach, but this is feeling like a deal breaker. In its tranformation, It only makes me look and feel fatter than ever. To look at me, or for myself to look down at me... its just a mass of fat all over the place, add my back boobies under my arms, my arms larger than ever, and my inner thighs with no where to go but my lap.. My lower stomach sits on my lap like a foot lower.. I swear it will end up at my knees.. plus it hangs over the sides of my legs too, in all its creases. It feels wrong, parts of my legs I always had access to, are covered in tummy and moist and need releif by lifting my tummy. One thing I didnt have to do much was lift my tummy, IT doesnt feel right and I have an aversion to it. I had this really tiny upper stomach that sat just under my boobies and was maybe a couple inches a roll.. my lower tummy held it there. NOW, it has not only dropped way below my breast line into "tummy area" but it has seperated into two parts and is traveling to the left.. I do sleep that way, so I guess thats why.. I am totally lopsided gravity not for me.. Oh, the bloobs on my legs.. have gotton smaller.. BUT they are drooping and I can no longer contain them nicely in capri's... THAT make me happy, to manage capri pants.. I dont want that luxery to have to end. OH.. and damn my boobs.. I have always hated them, always wanted a reduction.. always dreamed of little titties..... I was DD at age 12. For years they been deflating.. BUT now I cant maintain clevage.... they are wrinkled too.. suddenly I care about boobs! I wish i had appreciated them all those years! Whats a fat chic with out clevage??? ................HUmmmmm, is that all.........?? NO... BUt I bet no one has even read this much of my drivil.. Oh well, its for me anyway... ..... So, thats how and why I Do not feel as good as I had hoped to after loosing 100 pounds.. Also it was a big mistake to think I would be like I was before at 300 pounds.... I was 18 yrs old.......... DUH, it wont be the same.. And YES, I KNEW my body would sag and bag.. I know how people need plastic surgery ecspecially when starting out at 400 pounds.. I thought I was prepared for it.. I ALWAYS said "I will never look good" "I will look hideaous" "I will never be 150 pounds due to flab skin alone"........... BUT THAT WAS OK, anything is better than being over 200 pounds overweight... I am surprised at how I feel. I didnt know I was so vain. I knew I would never look good. I was being realistic I thought. Being able to get back surgery, and better health is GOOD enough. I will never have the funds for plastic surgery (unless I marry a guy who has some credit, a morgage?? something..,.. but thats unlikelly) Imight get my tummy done medically nessesary (I HOPE) (I have the whole rashes thing,, (everytime I get one I take a picture and file it on my computer, I can get rid of it in two days, but I wanna be prepared to show evidence.. Also I am more and more incontinent, I guess from the hanging belly) and Maybe my legs... I cant imagine the mess if I lose another 100 pounds, it would be medically needed for sure.. I WANT MY ARMS DONE!!! wahhhhh anyone know of a reason medically necesary for flabby arms.. (back pain??) and my boobs of course (a dream) I saw a pic of a butt.. hanging flab after 250 pounds lost, she didnt care to get it done, IT WAS SOOOOOOOOOO GROSS.. and I KNOW it will happen to me.. yuck. NO one will call that needed. I cant even imagine my Fupa's problems.. god I wish it would just shrink! I am on goverment medical so its unlikely, but I plan to do medical transcription or a call center after my back surgery.. so MAYBE some kind of insurence will cover it... ????? I have serious doubts about loosing another 100 pounds anyway.... I have a bad feeling my band is good for this 100 is all... I hope I am wrong.. I think my whole bad attitude would change for the better AFTER another 100 pounds... I hope.. I just cant trust my self these days... it does NO good to KNOW yourself so well, if your gonna go and change! lol ..........

320 today (unofficial at ymca) so thats 32 pounds loss since this challange I wonder what I will be on july 5th ?? who can tell, it comes up and down.. I am only 5 pounds from goal, so monday or tuesday i am going to weigh at the doctors..and MAYBE if I make goal (100 pounds lost) I will keep it from yo yoing..

IF dixie is your constant companion you might be a bandster If you buy dixies in bulk at costco each month and dont own a dixie dispencer, you might be a bandter If dixie cups are littered all through the house at all times you might be a bandster. If your family runs to grab a dixie for you without needing to be asked, they might live with a banster. If the dixies run out and I get confused over how to eat, I might be a bandster. If you use dixies to keep track of how many ounces of food/drink you eat daily, you might be a bandster. If picking up and throwing out a used dixie can be discusting, mom might be a bandster. If the contents of the dixie your looking at are unknown, you might be a bandster. If your cats check out the dixies for pulverized meat, chewy chicken, and other discusting treats on a regular basis, you might be a bandster. If you refill a dixie 10 times rather than drink from a normal large cup, I might be obsessed with the Dixie Cup. ... IF finding your sweet spot is/'was more saticfying than finding/ have found the G spot... you might be a bandster. If you tell everyone you were banded in sandiago when you were really banded in Mexico, you might be a sneaky bansterd.

If you have a ton of money... you should fly to mexico when you need a fill...or unfill... I say a ton of money cuz you should be prepared to have many fills and unfills in case you have some problems..... If you cant get to mexico often... you need to find a fill doctor close to you... for some its hard.. I am lucky, mine lives an hour away and is always open and is cheap and open to anyone and just the BEST imaginable possibility for me! I also am lucky cuz I have the best doctor who trusts and listens and respects me... and cares.. Everything I have needed from him, I have been taken care of... as long as I told him what I needed and why and it make medical sense, lol... I have had alot of minor complications consistantly through the year... if I didnt have my fill doctor as well as my primary care doctor there for me, IT WOULD be VERY VERY BAD! I got lucky cuz I went into this whole thing very illprepared and ignorant.

I have very strong oppinions about this.... and of course I think I am right, lol This goes for me and my fat, as well as: my son and his long hair (past), my daughter and her freckles, my girl and her sexual harrassment, and my daughter and her right to be weird. I just typed "I am not a defensive person" and thought twice, cuz in a way.. I really am... It doesnt feel 'defensive' to me, I feel like I have something to contribute... and that doing nothing isnt right, maybe I can only express myself, maybe I can teach someone, maybe I can change someone.... We matter........ and we need to let eachother know it. Its ok to let it go... I rarely let anything actually hurt me. I love myself too much, and love the powertrip.. lol................... so, thats why i say I am not defensive... I have let it go as far as not letting it get to me.. But, I dont like how we ignore... Oh I ignore alot. I dont do anything when I see a mom or dad being a crappy parent (unless its physical abuse).... I dont do anything when I see a shoplifter, I dont do anything to good for nothing sales clerks, I dont complain about my neighbors even in the worst conditions..... and much more.... I am not ready to save the world. or skilled.. lol anyway, First, I judge the offence and the offenders. I am pretty good at knowing what I can do in what case for the outcome I desire. I scope out their company, not willing to hurt others.. (My definition of hurt) I also take into account the effects it had on the victems, but its not as important. (Me and my kids are rarely affected by others...but just cuz we can take it so well doesnt mean we shouldnt fight for all those who are hurt, who cry and go to sleep upset about it.. I take that into consideration.) I take in my surroundings and see what I could do... or not do.. I must get away with what I do. I am not willing to actually get in real trouble (thats creating a bad deed with a good deed) And I go for it.. That took like 5 seconds to plan.. and now I will not stop until I have completed my mission...lol, I estimate I have a 85% success rate in the last 20 years.. (having controled the outcome, not made it worse on me) If I hear some stupid young teen boys whisper something cuz they wanna be bad, but doubt they really wanted me to hear what they said... I wont ruin their fun and make them feel like shit cuz no one taught them manners. Plus why should they get this funny story about the fat lady who yelled at them, they didnt earn it. If A little kid points out my fat, I smile and do everthing I can to make the parent feel less mortified.. if the parent isnt concerned, I will say to the kid "I know" "wanna touch it?" "I think I am the fattest person in here right now" "dont ya know any fat people? Now you do!" kids respond well to it..and I wonder if they continue being curious and pointing it out, now that its not so foreing to them?? The whole world isnt focused on you, only a few people hear.. so what, RISK foolishness, educate the child, save fellow fatties from the "thats a fat lady" moments.. If its young PUNK boys who make a comment more to eachother then directly to me, but risk having me hear them, and laugh alot. I ask them if they meant for me to hear that or not. This is a stumper in itself.. But if we have a bad ass in the crowd who says something like "yeah, so what" or "go away bitch"...... Then I focus on him and mostly just joke them out by saying if they want to make fun of shit, do it right. Dont be a half ass about it.. no matter what they say, I just take it like its nothing, congratulate them, the goal to get them to find the humer in how this crazy fat lady condoned all that. They are likely to respect fat people more now than make fun of them. If its girls... THEY never get off.. and they get no mercy, no matter the age or level of ignorance or nastyness.. BOTH need a wake up call.. IF good kids.. I will act really hurt (I never am) and ask them why they are so mean, I will ask if there moms are overweight and how would that feel to know your making fun.. I am a good person, you ruined my day... IF nasty mean girls, I will get really really close to them like I have no problem laying hands on them if I have to, I tell them they are nasty little bitches who have seconds to appologize and promise to never be such cunts ever again, I may act menecing with my grocery cart, my fork, my hip, That usually works cuz they just dont exspect adults to go that far. But if they get all brave, I will tell them they have messed with the wrong fat chic, I will promise to get them, I will follow them, I will be rude and obnoxious and if confronted by anyone I will act totally innocent and lame and cry about how they were harrassing me and I was affraid of what they were going to do next. Whatever makes them LOSE. If a women.. is a tacky low class wannabe, I simply laugh at her like a joke. If a BITCH of a women... I will have to resist the urge to try and physically attack her cuz I cant win. But I will call her a cunt and any other nasty names I can... does no good cuz 'fat' is worse than the rest. I will try to ignore it too. Not give her the saticefaction. If some older man who is a real stinker.... I tell him something short and sweet but know nothing I say will change him... "well arent you nice" "your a rude man" "go die" "your no prize".. whatever. If its a younger man who is a real wise ass who wants to be cool by humiliating me... I know nothing will make him feel bad or learn his lesson and all I can do is ANNOY the crap out of him. Hopefully I can piss him off. NOw he is pissed off and I am JUST fine.. What a dope. I will put on a big show, to onlookers I might give them the signal that I am totally doing it on purpose, so they will stay and watch and see him as the butt of the joke and not me. depending on what he says, I could fake like I mistook his comment for likeing me and ask for his phone number, would he like to go out sometime, does he have a girlfriend, CAN HE please give em one chance?........... or act like his buddy clueless how I was just dissed, what kind of car is this, thats sweet, I drive a truck, wheres the action, can anyone give me a ride, what did they think of the movie, ect................ or totaly a bitch.. if its about food, THEy get the food thrown on them or their stuff, ON PURPOSE, not like I am out of control with rage.. NEVER let them think your reacting to hurt... BUT meaningfully trying to retaliate.. I dont use defences of fat, like your ugly I can lose weight.. Its just ammo. If at a socail event I get as close to them as I can, no matter how much they move and complain, I play dumb, they look like assholes. Or I follow them and when they look at me I give a psycho face thats not obvious, just creepy. I will put stuff in their hair, throw stuff at them, (little annoyances that arent likey to get you in trouble) ummmm ..... tell the manager this guy is stealing and wait and watch him get grabbed, if he has kids I will tell them 'your daddy made fun of me" or "does he call you chubby piglet too?" (if chubby) anything to bring out their parental instincts and remember what compassion is.... (kids are tuff).... I will be genuine and normal to the wife or girlfriend and appeal to her female nature to listen to me talk even if she doesnt want to, and sit with her and have a conversation that lasts as long as I can make it... I am sure not to diss her man, or accuse him much, just talk about my bad day. I will openly and obviously write down licence plates numbers, and with as much conviction as possible tell them I am going to find them and fuck up their vehicle (its more beleiveable than saying your gonna fuck them up or beat their ass.. no one wants their car messed with, and no one can watch it all the time, paranoia. I never go find them of course. If at a pool, or such. I will point out every little thing they have wrong with them, over and over and over...making sure its really something they have a problem with, NOT anything.... the public wont notice I am being rude, I will look like I am just talking.. "your chest hair is really gross"... "your wife has a flabby butt" ... They will never be able to keep up with me, (few people are seriously fighters) my goal is to make them leave. Sometimes I might be told on. I might be asked to stop. I wont admit it. I will keep doing it... well I will stop if I feel they have learned their lesson and seem to really regret it and whatever... That was crazy.. sorry,... think as I type is a bad habit..... I am not as crazy as all that looks.. I hope so anyway. ............. Human beings are moved in strange ways.... I am that strange. (i hope) Its like I am compelled to change someone... for the better.. I really think my extreem ways, in controled conditions, make many think.... think think think....... Think twice at least. No one else does those things. (I dont see it) I just know I did the right thing, all and all its worth it. I have applied this same theory to my girl scouts, school students, teenagers.... and had excellent results. I mean that I do the things no one else thinks is proper, or is affraid to do... or risky... and I do and it works wonders. .. I am liked more, trusted more, respected more... ect ect.. Soooooooooooooo.. thats why I think its working on the jerks who make fun of fat too.. in some way. I must sound like a freaking psycho.. fact is I get very rare opportunities to do these things, cuz no one picks on me.... I get to where I am looking for a fight, lol.. I hear all these humiliations done to my cousin and my sister and I am like "nothing happens to me!!!" "gawd, I wish I was there, I know just what I would of done!!" Everyone is nice to me.. I dont get it. I am a fat slob, ugly, unkept, bent and vulnerable, barley faking a smile, driving the motorized cart with no visable injuries and have weak gross motor skills... running into old ladies, knocking over fruit.. lol.. I really dont understand why I am not picked on more often. I was 400 pounds, I am about 300 now, ......... True there is something about me that people like too much... BUT what about all the people who dont meet me at all..????????? Sometimes I think its just impossible and I must be desensitized to it and not hear it.. But that makes no sence as I am sensitized more than anything. ............

I almost never get my window washed at the gas station.. ! If I go with my daughter, she does! lol

OK, I get ya better. For me, I had the disinterest... BUt I definately had restriction. I wasnt testing the boundaries of my restriction... or all upset over how restricted I was.. I didnt care one bit.. It was really really amazing.. (I felt this for about 3 months, I lost 30 pounds, and then I too got another fill, and it ruined my sweet spot, and I havent got it back YET!..grrrr) I am glad to hear others feel it too.

I am confused.. You say you just got more fill, but you can eat anything and dont have physical restriction - no hard stops, no actual real signs that the band is there. "I can eat whatever when I decide its time to but just dont get really hungry." Then you post "pacing the ensuite spitting in the sink for the better part of an hour, groan" 'wicked hiccups though.' ......... My interest in food evaporated too when I had a good fill. I didnt care about any of my favorit foods, about grocery shopping, about going out to eat, I could eat a tiny bit of food, no variety at all... and I was FINE. I didnt rely on hard stops, I didnt PB ever, I certainly never had to spit at a sink for an hour. (yikes)... I didnt get golf balls, or burning sensations.. etc ect.. BUT I SURE AND THE HECK DID have physical restriction and many actual real signs that the band was there. I could not eat solids for three weeks and then very little after that (fish sticks, chips, cookies).... I felt very lucky. I actually felt like it was some kind of magic.. unreal. BUt You got to eat mexican, and meals, and whatever you wanted but choose not to... then when you tried steak you suffered alot.. so, I dont really understand..... Maybe your body WAS responding to a stop signal, but you didnt notice it or feel it because your used to feeling hard stops, and think physical restriction is when your at the sink for an hour, glad its not a PB. (it didnt come up cuz it was STUCK, thus the slime production, I think I Pb might of been better??) I dont know.. I may be way off base. Sorry if I am. Havent you ever ate when you were not hungry? Ate cuz the food was yummy? Appetite supressants do not take away cravings, just physical hunger. Are you sure you were not eating between meals and more at meals because you felt full? Or because you just didnt have any interest in it. You said both things. I ask because the band made me not have any interest in food also, but I dont think it had anything to do with me not being hungry, as I have always craved foods regardless if I was hungry or not. ??

MY SURGEON said he would NOT do the surgey if I didnt lose the weight.. It wasnt about being humiliated.. it was about being denied the band. He said I would have too much fat around my liver for him to be able to do the procedure safely. The rapid weight loss shrinks that fat on the liver. I had to lose 40 pound at LEAST.. and I did (41pounds). I only had alittle over a month to do it, I put it off and put it off, wanting to have all these yummy foods for the 'last time'... I was a nervous wreck, constantly weighing myself daily to make sure.. I kept cheating but somehow I made it.. (low carb diet) If he does the surgery anyway. Than 0h well, your alittle humiliated.. REMEMBER POP and JOlly Ranchers are going to pass right through the band. You can still have them anytime you want. As well as lots of other candies and sugar laden drinks. I am glad to see your possitive about being able to give them up.. Make sure your doctor sees your good attitude and it wont be so bad.

Photonut, You are such a sweetie! (((((hugs)))))) (Alexandrea) Nerve endings in our esophagus can become less sensitive, and it is literally harder to feel that "stop" signal. The physical barrier is still there, and too much food will result in a PB, but it's not as easy to detect when that's happening because our nerves are desensitized to some degree. me) Oh.. there you go agian learning me things.. I just went through a month and half of heck with my band.. My fill doctor was out of the country. My doctor was giving me solumedral shots as often as he could to keep my swelling down, it was hard to guage when I needed a shot and such... so often I was having all the chest pains and feeling the pressure and having to gag my self to release the slime, many times I coulnt sip Water and OMG, it was horrible. I dont think I did anything worse in that time than many people do ON their own by eating too much, too fast, whatever... BUT FOr me, who went all this year avoiding those things at all costs.. it sucked to sometimes be unable to help it.. cuz I was swollen and had to get an unfill asap. Finally I did.. and I am fine now.. (too loose, but oh well) anyway, I totally noticed the desensitation during this time.. I would think I could take a sip of water or juice.. AND BAM it would be stuck! I would get soooo mad at myself, "WHY didnt I KNOW NOT TO take the drink?? What am I some out of control FREAk who has to take a drink even if it means I will have to gag myself to slime it up for a few minutes..." I really got mad at myself... It was totally the nerves being shot.. once I just put my fingers to my lips and my uvala (spell?) spazzed out.. Its fine now.. If I get to the point where its hard to feel the stop signal.. I am screwed~ I dont care about being hungry, or denied my favorite foods.. (ya know what I mean) I really care about what happens when you do not obey that stop signal.! (it feels soooooo wrong, even WAY before it hurts or you pb or slime)

MY experience with the honeymoon period.. and being told about it: I was a ball of emotions when I got that perfect restriciton where nothing was ever the same. food was a second thought. I was never hungry and My band choose whean and what I could eat, not me. FREEDOM from obsession. I was in control for the first time in my life. It was mindboggling. I Didnt understand how it was possible. I came here and tried to talk through it.. I was crazy..lol I think it was Alexandrea who mentioned the honeymoon period. I was GLAD to have the emotions I was confused about explained. A honeymoon period explained it well. I didnt like to think it would go away, but I was glad to get to experience it at all. I dont know about it going away, I have had too many problems with my band to examine that. I have had my band over a year, but I am NO veteran. I STILL havent figured out my band and how to get it working right for me.. In all that time my band worked right for about 4 months total.:think

Because you have lost so much weight and are doing so well by following the rules and such... I am wondering if we (me at leaste) could have this thread to ask you questions and such. I tried to search and research you, but that was very tedius. I am sorry I dont know alot of things you may have already posted. I am just looking for honest answers and oppinions. Some disscussion. Thats all. Have you ever posted or talked about your prebanding eating habits? You were 371 and have lost 135 pounds in 6 months, wow. How did the band help you do the things you couldnt do before to lose weight?

I am very interested in everyones variables. It can only help us understand the band. Sometimes Its hard to post your jouney because its not the norm or its real abnormal lol, but I would like to hear how people see their band and themselves working or not working for them. I would like to be able to ask questions and have real disscussions, not a one post telling of your story. (but you can do that too) Most of all I want people to be able to free and honest and open without fear of hurting feelings or being hurt. Try anyway. I have MY big ol story of course. I have noticed vinesqueen has said the band is not working on her although she eats 1200 calories, ect (I dont know the whole story) There are people who have slipped and eroded and so on... anyway.. I HOPe this thread can do that.

I LIVE within 50 miles of Jack.. Sooo Neener Neener. :D