Nykee

Why I became Obese So I am 12 and I am about 120 pounds and my boobs are getting bigger and bigger (almost D cups now) and I am curvey.... My mom divorces my dad, moves me and my sisters away from reality. I HAD been raised in a decent home, with all my basic needs met, in general safety amongnst people who seemed to care enough. My dad worked, my mom cooked and cared for the house, we went to company picnics and vacations to the beach, my dad raced canoes and hunted and my mom layed in the sun and baked Cookies. We lived a normal life. NOW after the DIVORCE....... my mom has us living in a house with this lesbian women and her three children who run the house naked. (lesbain???? naked???? new to me!!) There are criminals, child molesters and real nasty crude people around us all the time. (my parents never even let people CUSS around us before!) There is no hot Water, no phone (gasp..lol) no heat, our food comes from boxes and I have no idea why this is happening except my mom doesnt love us anymore. My dad ran off and cried. Never imagined the hell we would have to endure (and to this day doesnt really know, my dad does love me) THEN MY mom starts to use drugs. Then my mom doesnt love us any more. Then my mom committs terrible crimes against me and well...... I hate her for many years, she is a full fledged crack whore who only cares about herself. (mom is straight now.. a decent women) We starve, literally.. my sister is hospitalized. I STEAL from then on for us to eat, we HAVE to go to school to get our only meal of the day.. This really sucked. I think this is when my eating disorder took full effect. I end up hateing life, I hate people, I hate men and I absolutely hate my self ... I become the only thing I can and thats like my mother. Only I am worse. I hurt people. I steal. I sleep around. blah blah blah Anyway................ That all changes when I get pregnant. At 15 yrs old I am about 135 pounds. This is documented at a girls group home in Portland when I arrive. (I leave at 190#.. its the first time I ate in years) At 16, I have my son.. I come out of it 200 pounds. (still trying to make up for starving) At 17 yrs old I have my daughter, I come out of it at about 280 pounds. At 19, I have my youngest, I come out of it at 325 pounds or so. I stay between 325# and 345# for 10 years... (age 29) Then my back goes out and I cant work for go for my masters degree.. (I made quite a good life for us BTW) I end up hoovering around 400 pounds for the last 5 years.... (back is still out, almost in a wheele chair, diabeties) I got obese to protect me and my babies from the cruel cruel world I could not trust for a very long time. They are almost grown and I must brag I did a most excellent job with them... They are happy healthy and everything I am not.. WHAT AM I PROTECTING THEM FROM NOW?? MYSELF! TIme to let it go!

Why I am Fat. I was born under 5 pounds. My mom said she breast fed too much cuz I was ravenous. I was called Butter Ball at age one and two. I was a thick child, my grandma tells me I would make demands like "MAKE ME PANCAKES!" and such. I was independant, bossy and loud. (all of this goes with FAT) I used to try to find enough money to buy a candy bar a day. (25cents a peice) My home was poor but we always had food like captain crunch cerial, icecream once a week and Tv dinners and mac and cheese. My mom made us dinner every night but she had no clue what low fat or healthy meant. My dad worked for resers fine foods, so we lived on buretto's and bean dip..lol, naw they made lots of things like frozen cheeseburgers, giant Cookies, pecan pies, Jello parfeit, potatoe sald.. ect. No one talked about Fat or calories or weight loss, ever. I never knew i was chubby. My mom hovered around 170 pounds at the most. My sisters were tiny things. (younger than me) No obese family were in my extended family. My dad ran marathons and such but I didnt know it was for any reason having to do with health. By 6th grade I was 120 pounds. My boobs were a 34B (at age 10..) I was being looked at and sexual harrassed, I looked 16. One day I hear my mom and dad fighting about me. My dad said my boobs were all fat. My mom insisted they were not. My dad said if I only lost weight My boobs would go away as well.. My mom argued he was wrong. And this is the day I became FAT.

I am not very old (34) but my life sounds alot like your moms. I have been MO since I was 18, I am in so much pain everyday and I am exhauted constantly. I would take a nap and sleep in till noon everyday IF I could sleep at all, but I dont sleep. I lay and rest. I dont sit, I lay. I take over 12 pills a day, everyday... I have three herniated discs in my back. I have diabeties. I know the band is going to help all of this.

My experience with Mexico was a good one for the most part. The Doctor's and staff were very helpfull and kind and there for me. Dr. Ortiz spent more time in my room personallly talking to me than I ever thought a doctor ever would do. He was very compassionate and sure of himself. I thought the pre-op work, especailly blood work wasnt as sanitary or as safe as the U.S., but once up at the hospital everything seemed clean and proper. I been in the hospital many times and one thing I hate is how everyone is up your butt all the time. There its dark and quiet and your kinda on your own, especially at nights. I loved it. My inscisions never hurt at all and they have healed perfectly. I cant imagaine these will be scars i will ever notice, no amongst all my streech marks. They had plenty of meds for every kind of reason and they stayed on top of it. I suffer alot of pain and they more than covered it, I was very gratefull. My IV wasnt done right and the meds infiltrated my arm and my arm was swollen for days with meds in it.. but worse things coulda happened. I winced in pain every time they put some meds in and I said it stung, but when they tried to look I told them I was just a big baby, well they started to say I was sensitive and I agreed.. in hindsight I was being stupid and too affraid of them messing with my IV.. I cant stand getting one, I feel violated everytime.. anyway, it was my fault.. I was still puking up little sips of Water by the time i went home, but after a couple days at home I was fine. I was never told about my band. Like what kind it is, how big it is and the fill capacity and all that.. All I recall is Dr. Ortiz saying his cell phone was always available to me and to come back in 6 weeks for a fill. I been real scared that I am having problems. Prolly cuz this site, sites so many..lol.. We will see on April 20th, my first fill with flouro... I think its all OK.. I HOPE SO!

Whew!!!!!!!!!!

Welcome home!! Cool Pic!

I cant wait for my fill.. to see what happens.. I cant imagiane I would need an unfill.. but I sure can eat alot right now.. sensy, what ended up happening with you?

patio.. what are the signs and signals of a slip?

HEY! Have fun with it until your fill! I get a fill on April 20th and I cant help but eat what I can until then.. BUT I am gonna be glad when I am more restricted. I like it. Chew well!

I bought and tried some soy milk. vanilla and chocolate. I think I am going to go soy. This way I wont hog it down and its like a treat, something I do not drink with my meals and something that doesnt support the dairy cow industry so much. I bought some Soups and babyfood and such in hopes that my fill will offer some real restriction. Trying to eat less now that I actually lost some wieght.. but it isnt working too well.. I really need to keep track. I really want to keep track like one week straight per month at least.. see how it changes. 3pm: 12 ounces apple juice frosted circus animal Cookies... 15 12 ounces Water 6pm some soy milk 6 ounces 8:30 pm macironi cand cheese homeade (1 cup) less than a cup of ceasar salad 2 bites garlic toaste 24 ounces apple juice 2am macidamia cookies..3

why do so many hide this from others? I am curious is all.. I am not judging, I had told more people than I wish i did.. I was just wondering what peoples motives are.

If my band messes up i will get a bypass, forget this messing around! It seems to me to be so many people who have had problems (saw this before this poll) I dont know if I am only seeing the neggative but i would have never guessed so many people would have so many problems.

Hi.. I am getting so worried. First of all, I was feeling a pain right under my large inscission. A ripping/tearing pain on my left side. It hurt when I slept on my side and when I moved in a certain way.. people here told me it was normal and I was releived. BUT NOW.. I am having the same kind of pain but about 8 inches lower than it was before and no where near an inscision and actually seems to be in just fat. (my lower stomach thats all flab) And it hurts when ever I shift my self, like to stand or sit up. Is this normal too.. To have that pain that low as well now? The pain I was having before is gone. (the pain in my large inscision area) Thanks for any advice.

I went to the ER and I called Dr. Ortiz and spoke with him and Dr. Martinez and I also been talking to my doctor's nurse for a couple days and no one is really doing anything about it. so.. I guess I will find out when I go to get my fill. OR on monday I will keep on trying to get through to people. Thanks for the concern. My fevor is gone now, but the reddness remains.

I weighed myself today when I went grocery shopping. (both places are in another town) I am 367 now... I cant beleive I am in the 60's LOL OMG when I go into the 50's it will be my smallest in 9 years! Now, to find out how to change my ticker! Weirdest thing: I dont feel any smaller/ lighter.

Um ya mine looks just like that but its no where near an inscision. its around my belly button

Whats the sweet spot mean? Is that when the band finally restricts you as much as you want it to? If so.. I will get it done monthly until then. Do they allow you to do it monthly? I will be filled on April 20th, and if I can still eat too much then I want the fill in MAY (they do one fill day per month) and then in June if needed. I didnt want to pussy foot around with this and I am kinda dissappointed in it not being tight at all from the get go.. My question is.. do or can people get filled monthly if needed until they find the sweet spot?

Why wasnt I getting notifications for this thread?? sorry for not replying.. Umm.. I never did talk to anyone about it.. Pati-o... what are adhesions???? Wannitiny) "when in doubt, give a shout" to the doc that is!! Isn't amazing how in tune to our bodies we become after this surgery!! ME) How do thye know if you have a hernia if they do not check? I do feel like everytime i move wrong and cough and get up and dowm from a chair or toilet that my insides "pull and sting" What did it look like? What were the syptoms? I went to the ER because I had a fevor of 103.6 (highest) for almost two days and then this morning this reddning developed all around my belly near my belly button, out about 5 inches.. Er said there was no way it was a hernia (I asked "is there any way these are symptoms of a hernia" and he said no no no) and that I have a rash and gave me antibiotics.. which ya know could be true.. Its just scaring me that I been having thses little problems all along, then something like this happens (NEVER happened before in my life) Yes, I called Dr. Ortiz and he told me to go to ER and be sure to email him what the deal was. So.,. now I hope I get email notifications for this and remember to come in here cuz you guys are so helpfull amd kind here. thank you

Why did you get these pics done? I mean what was it for? Thanks

Moday I woke up trembling, cold but hot and with a headache very close to a migrane (I have only had two real migranes in my life) I had a fevor of 103.6 and I didnt come out of it until this morning. And then when I think I am all better, I seet this sheeth of reddness spreading over my lower stomach, seemingly out of my belly button.. So I called my doctor and he isnt in, I t takes me about 4 hours to find Dr. Ortiz and he just tells me to go to ER.. ER says its a rash, and gives me antibiotic... the info thing says its a rash that goes untreated will give a fevor and chills.. UM the Rash (not even a rash, its reddness!!! thats hot) just showed up this morning?? I think they think its a rash cuz I am a fat cow.. they took blood work.. and will notify me in 24 to 48 hours. I just do not understand that I never ever had a "rash" lke that before... and I have never had a fevor like that before (sinse I was a kid) So I hope to see my doctor on friday, but i dont know what he is gonna do with "I had a fevor of almost 104 for two days, it went away and then this reddnedss spread accross my belly, oh yeah and intense pelvic pain" whatever.. guess i wont know if its band related until I get my fill on April 20th. I am so scared (and sick) all I been having is tomatoe soup and milk.. In the past, I have never broken my milk rule.. but I have never gotton so sick and sad while the milk rules was in effect) and I had some to make me feel better. (I may as well put it in a calf bottle) ugh..

I have weighed about 400 pounds for many years. I got the band on Feb. 14th. I lost 40 pounds before I left. I have lost no weight since. I DO have restriction, though its not much. Example.. I can eat a peice of pizza.. I used to eat two or three peices. I can drink about 12 ounces of milk at a sitting, i used to drink about 30 ounces or more. I just have to chew real well and eat slow. I havnt had a PB since the first day I was home. Sometimes I have felt alittle funny and knew immediately to stop. I am NOT a fan of pain of any kind. The Pb's I had in the hospital felt like horses trampling on my chest. The thing is, in the past 15 years, it has never worked for me to cut my portains of food and loose weight. I dont know if they think I USED to eat a whole pizza (like some very obese people do) and now since I can only eat one slice its a big difference. Becasue its not. I never ate a ton of food to begin with. I have three herniated discs and cant walk much on my own, I have been going to Water aerobics, BUT honestly I do not see how much it can help when my back hurts too much for me to get my heart rate up.. I need to go in April for a fill.. I want them to make it really tight. I am going to TRY to explain to them that I will be able to handle it just fine. I wont ever come back for a unfill unless I am dehydrating or such. I do not have to money! To go get a fill or unfill is costing me like 500$. My sister has already said to me "this just seems like a big waste" When she found out I havnt lost any weight yet. Then she saw me eating a chicken Fajita and said "YOU can eat that???" I said 'yeah, its just takes a while' and "I need a fill!' Thing is that normally I would have gained the 40 pounds back by now... And I havn't.. so in a way.. IT IS WORKING??!! Do you agree? Any advice? I kinda feel alone or like I am lettng people down. I have even had people ask my loved ones if I am skinny yet.. First of all, I wont EVER be skinny. Second of all, its only been 5 weeks! I just wanted to vent, Thanks.

I date young cute boys casually.. fairly often.. But in my weight loss I hope to land me a real man.

Saturday I drank Orange juice all day from jug.. prolly 40 ounces for the day. I had two bites of corn dog. I had one large root beer freeze. 2 one carb mini chocloate peices. ..................... Sunday: I drank water!!!! I gulped it at 8am and actually felt restriction.. WOW One carb mini chocolate peice. Healthy request tomatoe Soup with 1% milk, whole can 16 ounces 1% milk 8 ounces 1% milk with lite chocolate nesquick powder 1 cup Macinroni and cheese. 16 ounces Orange juice. One can asteroids cheetos 32 ounces orange juice One taco from jack in the box Lots more OJ.. The milk is gone,...and I made a rule of no more milk. I have 4 kids but they all support the no milk idea. I will prolly drink more orange juice, but there are foods I MUST have milk with and I hope the no milk rule will help alittle. I wish I could follow some other rules, like no fast food and no drinking with meals and ect.. I am gonna go weigh my self this week.. I hope I havnt gained any weight. Thats my goal anyway. I am going grocery shopping next week too and I am working on a list and menu thats 100 carbs or less, 1500 caloreis or less and 50 grams of fat or less. BUT I am not sure it will work out that way. But of course and as always, I will try.

NYKEE girl, I am so glad you posted, I am trying to figure you out, You know your eating way to much, and not the right stuff either. Only you know why you got your band, those inner feelings and such. >>>>>>>>>Uh huh.. I got my band to save my life because I was unable to do so with my own power and control. You know by posting your intake you are putting it out there for everyone to see. Which I really give you credit. >>>>>>>>Thank you. Why would I care who sees what I eat. I judge my self more than anyone can. You know you have to make changes. So common girl get with it. >>>>>>>>Ok.. since you say so.. lol You are so lucky that right now your diabetes is not giving you any outwards signs of problems. This could change in a heart beat. >>>>>>>>>>> I Know this., What you don't know is what kind of toll it is taking on your kidneys and arteries and heart. >>>>>>>>>Yes I do know. I am under constant doctors care. I am in pain every day. I take naproxin everyday to take the edge off it. >>>>>>>>I know what its like. I have three herniated discs, sciatica, (lumbar disc disease... I take 6 vicodan and 30 mlg of morphine sulphate contin a day and I am never not in pain. I had two back surgeries and they wont give me a fusion until i lose 100 pounds. The narcotics fuzz my mind. >>>>>>Not me.. they dont even cover the pain.. I could take more, they would let me but I figure more wont help only fuzz me out. I am a nurse I can't have clouded judgement when I work so I work in pain. I now have high blood pressure. Stress incontience (my underwear is always wet) I take another pill for that. >>>>>>>>Hey me too! I have cysts on my Left overy My DR told me it was more common in overweight females. >>>>>>>>I had two surgeries to abliterate my female parts.. Good news though, no more period! I will be banded on May 24th. I want to feel better get rid of the pain and watch my kids become adults and make me a grandma. You picture tells me you are young please get with it. >>>>>>>>>>I am 34, the pic is a couple years old. I have told my self to get with it about 6 billion times, but thanks for the encouragement. Good luck with your band.. You are also a very beautiful looking girl. What I am trying to say is get the weight off before you do start to haveing serious problems that you can't turn around. >>>>>>>>>>Thank you and I will. I am confident that I will. I Need a fill. I wont overeat and have PB's, but i need restriction. I will do good, you'll see. Take it slow maye first just change one thing like the liquid calorie intake, concentrate on that for one week. >>>>>>>>>>LOL.. I been on hundreds of diets. I have lost hundreds of pounds. I know all this. I could write a book of things that work. Obviously I cant do it OR i would have by now. BUT alas I do keep trying. Thanks for the encouragement~ Warning.. if people are distressed by my honesty in the food I am eating.. Its prolly not gonna change much until I get my fill on April 20th. I did make a no milk rule though! yeah me. I am not eating beyond my full feeling nor even close to PBING..

I never eat on dates until I am closer to them anyway..