GotItDoneInHarlem
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Posts posted by GotItDoneInHarlem
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Hopefully your new program will include some exercise physiology to get you into a strength training program. Some muscle would help fill out some lean spots better than gaining back some of the fat you lost. When I went for my one year follow-up last Thursday, my doctor said that year two is just as important as year one. So, good for you that you are heading in for round two. Getting inside your own head is the next right step.
Miss Mac. Thank you for helping me focus and keep my eye on the prize-health. It's going to be an important year but the challenges will be different
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Thanks Kathy. That was a very sweet and thoughtful response.
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You really need to work on your double entendres. Lol. Thanks, that actually really cheered me up! ROFL. ????
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So I hit one year on last Wednesday, the 17th, and an only now bringing myself to do an update.
My surgery was a success! A major success! So much that I couldn't let go of that losing feeling. I kept telling myself that the 5-10 pound rebound (if there even is one) after one stops losing and then puts a couple on would stress me out less and be less "traumatic" is I lost just a little bit more. And that was it, I always felt I needed/wanted to lose a little more so that the rebound wouldn't hurt as much and I could.
It wasn't until I sailed long past my medical goal and my personal goal that I would see what I was doing. It wasn't until my partner told me that I looked sick and was no longer attractive or appealing on an intimate level, that I even began to think there was trouble brewing. People expressed concern at work. The people I supervise would ask vague questions to gauge when I would stop such as, "So how much more do you have to lose before your doctor's goal gets here?" My friends ignored and avoided the topic as it was easy to explain that my sense of hunger hadn't returned yet and I was struggling to get more in so I loaded up the lunch bag or ordered in for Breakfast and lunch so that people could see me eat. i carried around Protein Shakes that I'd pour into sink or toilet so I always had food on me. When they weren't looking I'd throw half or all the breakfast sandwich away and if I did eat 3/4th of one half of it, it sure as hell wasn't going to eat lunch that day so I began going "out" for lunch, but not eating.
It wasn't until my partner left me without even one bit of explanation that I took a good look at myself. I was dumped on the phone. Well, actually, my partner said "it's over" and hung up on me. I went to pack the contents of the drawer my partner kept in my home, something I had avoided doing for quite some time, and found that it was empty. Everything had been taken home the last time we saw each other. My partner saw it coming and uncereminiously dumped me because I was still so oblivious to my own role and in denial that walking away was the easier option than to continue to fight with me over the obvious. My partner knew that walking away from this issue was the only option.
My surgiversry was this past Wednesday, the 17th. I am the lowest weight I can remember as an adult. My previous memory of a low weight was 170. I'm 6' tall and currently weigh 148. I have a big frame and "carried my weight well" and look like a shadow of myself. I lost exactly 150 pounds in one year. I have lost over ONE HALF of my body weight. I am 8 pounds above being underweight, and, if I had plastics today, I bet those pounds would be gone too.
I NEVER thought this would be me.
I did it ALL right. I even read the emotional support handbook three times at different phases of my journey AND still highly recommended it to others (and still would). I'm a man and not the demographic for eating disorders at all, but I couldn't let go of the control and success. I had to keep going. Where I had man boobs I have protruding ribs. I have a flat chest for the first time in my life but my nipples hang low. For a while I looked GREAT in clothes for the SECOND time in my life, but now I look like shit naked or in clothes because you can always see my face. I look sick and I want to lose a few more still. When the number drops below me previous new low I get a rush of excitement.
That rush and exictement over a new low scares the hell out of me. I've cancelled my holiday trip home, told as many friends, family, and coworkers that I know will be around to support me no matter what, and I am spending Christmas in the hospital after being cleared for inpatient treatment of a eating disorder. I check in on Christmas Eve and I have 11 days off, until January 5th, to stay in the hospital. It's a short program designed to get a couple pounds on you, develop an outpatient plan, and get me a new psych and talk therapist. I'm presenting with a multiple diagnosis of various mental health concerns and am approaching this as agressively as possible without going into an open ended program and taking a FEMLA absence from my job.
Not to be a total bummer, I have to say I had a great experience with the sleeve. Too good. I'm glad that I'd be willing to do it all over again and again, but that's a good thing. Because now I DO have to start all over. All over to rebuild a healthy relationship with food that I missed out on last time.
Wish me luck and I thank all of you for your support this year. I don't know what I would have done without this place to come to for guidance and to draw on the experiences of others.
I'll report back again with progress in any direction.
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A lot of probiotic drinks are packed with Protein. Siggis brand yogurts and drinks are great. Kieffer has good protein in it and Calcium. Early on Isopure clear Protein Drinks were great
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So I've done great. Lost 130 pounds from my high weight of 298. Now at 168 which is less than my goal and under my personal goal. That was in 8 months. I'm 11 months post op.
So I ate a McDonalds cheeseburger and a quarter of a small fries today, ALL OF IT, and it wasn't a problem. Now, after 11 months of worrying that half a slice of pizza was eating too much, I killed a cheeseburger and some fries. And I'm stressing that I've stretched my pouch. My problem has been STOPPING losing weight, and I eat small portions.
Why was I able to eat all that with barely a "too full" burp, what gives? are McD's cheeseburgers just "that small," was I more full than I thought, should I shut up, count my blessings and be rational knowing even if I did eat too much this ONE time that I have not done irreparable damage?
How far post-op will I stop worrying? The fear of being heavy is strong (but not so strong that I didn't eat a cheeseburger today). Oh boy,...
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The hardest part about eating out for a "dinner" is deciding if you're going to have a cocktail. If so, hope they bring it at least 15 before your appetizer arrives or you'll be staring at your food until the clock runs out. On the other hand it's handy because while you're waiting to begin eating others get a head start and by the time you're finishing so are they. appetizers were alway the fun part for me and I usually prefer that over packing home half a meal. Left overs become tedious after surgery with a regular portion providing you with 2-3 more servings. You save money though!
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It goes in when you're out and out when you're awake. It's not as frightening as you'd think.
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My emotions went into overdrive and adding a mood stabilizer and a minor increase in my antidepressant was a night and day difference for me.
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Sleeved December 17, 2013. Have lost 113 to date. From 298 to 165.
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Was at a 48 and down to a 30, I've lost too much weight though and would be much more comfortable in a 32.
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I think 1" per 35 is exaggerated. Things are more prominent and visible, but fat loss ain't gonna give you more than you started with. Also depends on how you carry your weight and how robust the fat pad is beneath your pubic area.
EducatingtheMasses reacted to this -
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Hi everyone, I know that most men refuse to talk about feelings but I need to know if this is normal. I had the VSG 3 1/2 months ago. I've lost a lot of weight and was really happy about it. Now I'm going through some pretty extreme emotional mood swings. My feelings get hurt at the drop of a hat. I've really been feeling sad, lonely, and depressed. Is anyone else going through this? Do you know if there's anything that can be done to help?
Dwayne, I'm curious to know if you had bouts of depression before surgery. I've had seasonal affective disorder my whole life and wasn't finally diagnosed and properly medicated for BP II until my 30s. I had heard that depression can be heightened after surgery and read this book before surgery and twice after. I found it very helpful.
Find a reputable psychiatrist or psychopharmacologist near you and go talk it out and try to keep your mind open. You may be offered medication which you may or may not want, but from personal experience, I have found that my meds stabilize my mood so there are less ups and downs and the ups and downs become less frequent and less severe. I recommend skipping the psychologist because you can get the same talk from a psychiatrist with the added benefit of not having to go to a new doctor and tell your life story all over again should your psychologist suggest you go on meds or you choose to. Don't forget, meds don't have to be for life and you don't have to feel all over the place.
I wish you peace.
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I wish I hadn't waited those extra two years after my doctor first suggested it.
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4 months in I lost a noticeable amount. Used Nioxin and started taking Propecia and all is well again (with a little extra now too!)
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You haven't pooped in 3 days and you're thrilled about it!
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Seroquel is just as bad, if not worse in terms of weight loss. It'll come off anyway. Don't fret. It'll come off. I lost 113 in 10 months and a whole array of medications.
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10 months. 11 days. 298---->165. 113 pounds total.
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These were taken 365 days apart. 298 to 165. 133 in 10 months. Feeling too thin and look better with another 10 pounds on me, but gaining weight is a more enjoyable struggle.
Not a great Surgiversary at all
in POST-Operation Weight Loss Surgery Q&A
Posted
Yes, what he did took courage, but it has been incredibly painful. But at least I can say I've haven't eaten my feelings. I'm not an emotional eater, never was, but his absence hurts.
He's no angel, and there was so much left unsaid, he never really gave me a reason, but I know this played a major role. I wrote him and thanked him for opening my eyes and I apologized for the role I played. Told him that I was entering treatment as well. He's maintaining distance and has ignored me. That's okay though. I get to focus on me now.