Madam Reverie

You are a mirror for her weight insecurities. Whether you feel you're capable and if you're a really good friend - you'll have to support her. Make her feel better about herself, counteract her self deprecation, cajole and soothe.. This, I fear, might have to be a permanent fixture in your friendship until she can conquer her own food demons.. Trust me - this isn't about you and your surgery. This is about her and sadly it will define your friendship until something gives.. Tough one. I wish you the best of luck x

The absolute best of luck, my dear. You'll be great! See you on the other side!

That, is great hair, honey and you look fabulous in it! I would NEVER have known unless you'd told us! Yay for you! xxx

If you're female and overweight, you can store a lot of estrogen in your fat cells. When you start to lose weight, this estrogen is flooded back into your system. This, can make you a bit bat-**** crazy for a while. Along with the deprivation you feel over the lack of carbs/food comfort mechanisms, it is a recipe for transient craziness. Don't worry, it will pass. In the meantime, you might want to explain it to your family members/partners/close friends - just so they know you've not permanently turned into a four-headed monster and that this phase will pass. Hang tight, people x

Babe, I hear ya.. Had the same feeling after seeing the photos of me recently at a ceremony... Urgh.. The way I see it, is that give it a bit of time and the head will catch up with the butt. As it stands, I went out yesterday and bought from a very nice shop, two new dresses (one bright red and very foxy and one black, with waaay more cleavage on show than I'm used to) to cheer myself up. I tried them on (and I normally like my man to give me marks out of ten for what he thinks about it - particularly if they're expensive) As I came out of the changing room, he breathlessly exclaimed 'WHOOOOOAAAHH!' and the shop assistant said 'you look amazing'... No marks out of ten required. And I needed to feel good about myself, after having a pretty miserable couple of weeks. You'll get that moment very soon when you see yourself in the pictures as you actually are - totally beautiful. And you are, honey. You have a lot to be very proud of. x

I wouldn't need my arm twisting to come to the good ol' US of A for a bit of sunshine.. .................and BBQ

You look great! Welcome to the madness and have a very quick recovery. Keep us posted

My man just read your comment and said 'short and sweet - and he's right'.. Nowt clearer than that

My heart bleeds for you, honey. In short and sorry to be blunt - but he is not the man for you. For all the reasons my learned friends above have stated. You are worth SO much more than that. Go on holiday on your own. You deserve to enjoy a break, not be wracked with insecurities, which he has in no way on Gods green earth, got the right to instill in you. You are fabulous. Walk away. Let us know how you get on. x

It's wonderful and should rightly be celebrated, reveled in and shouted from the rooftops. Hell, if I had a kid that had received that GPA, I'd be streaking naked outside Buckingham Palace with the information daubed on my more than a bit wobbly body for the world to see.

My compulsive behaviors are nocturnal! I think I told you this. I will purposely stay up late to do these things (compulsively eat) Of course we do! Why, the most essential, compulsive TV viewing is scheduled for 03-stupid-o'clock in the morning, just for this purpose, isn't it?! I have never been so intellectually stimulated than the mornings when I'm watching 'Don't tell the Bride', whilst stuffing my face with whatever is delectably easy to eat and laden with fatty/salty goodness... <burp>

We're all good in the hood. Hell, we're made of stronger stuff - all of us. AND Laura has a genius son.. So today, is a good day.

Laura - 'Is', darling. it 'Is' one of those places. <looks under her armpit in confused befuddlement as to who the 'fine lady' is in this melee>

You are most sincerely welcome, CNmama. Glad it warmed your heart and encouraged you to participate. Now, as long as Nicolanz doesn't go for any cheeky butt feels during her group hug - lets all get back to slaying those dragons which often present themselves to me, in the form of cheeseburgers and fries. Love and light, Revs x

Because people are worried they may have offended people and those people are worried they may have offended those other people and everyone is worried we may have offended the people we don't yet know. It's like the known unknowns and the unknown knowns.. Clear as mud? Yes, I went to the same school as George Dubblya Bush.. Except, I can read a book the right way up and know that the origin of the word 'Entrepreneurialism' is, actually, French..

No more apologies, RJ. You have nothing to apologise for.

I think 'head hunger' for me, is not about being hungry, per se.. It's more about wanting the sensation and flavour of cake/crumpets/toast and cheese in my mouth... Consequently, I felt emotional pain always denying myself those things.. So i tried them. Invariably, they didn't sit well, so now I'd rather not have the pain/discomfort and avoid them! I know this is something I'll have to watch when the restriction slackens a bit.. But for now, not being able to eat them, is my saving grace

Deep breath. Head down. You got this. (we were all the same, honey )

I would say... Listen to your body. If you start burping and gurgling and feeling sick? Stop. if you can get more in without pain/discomfort/nausea? Have at it. Better to be hydrated than not.

But a mere walk up a hill to the nirvana of Protein laden craziness on the other side. The best of luck - we'll all be thinking of you

I hate to say it, GG, but 'potentially'? I know people can be anatomically different, but as you know, the likelihood of a stomach being 'born' huge, is quite remote. A stomach won't get to gargantuan proportions unless it is 'encouraged' to... and if it were to happen along the genetic line through continuous repetition, there would surely be a long family history of obesity... To have two people 'naturally' 'gifted' with big stomachs in the one house? I'm thinking the odds on that are preeeetty long... Back to the nature (over centuries/medical anomalies) /nurture argument...

NOT AT ALL! Without your invaluable, articulate and compassionate contributions to the debate - there is no debate. We'd all be drowning in a sea of banal statements, observations and platitudes about Protein counts and Water consumption (although before anyone jumps on me, I know these have their place, too) I'm sorry this thread provoked an emotional response in you last night. It was not my intention - but it shows a deeper level of self-analysis that I have reached and for that, I am in total admiration and very grateful. You are a whole person; with the victories, failures, vulnerabilities, strengths and honesty to know who you are and share it, too. That takes courage. Don't for one second feel 'bad' about your contributions. I welcome them with open arms, because they're real, without agenda and will undoubtedly help those who may be viewing, but do not have the courage to (at this juncture), contribute. THAT is a very good thing x

It is interesting as to what this thread has gone to show... That no matter whether it was your parents, your childhood, your peers, your siblings, your location, your marriage/relationship, an event(s), because your pet died or you just detested the way your nose looks... We are all the same. SOMETHING triggered our desire to eat... and none of us are impervious to that fact. I started the thread because I wondered whether people on here had actually given it that much thought outside of the calorie counting and Protein measurements. Because I was realising there was this 'other side' appearing in me and it definitely needed dealing with. Clearly some of you have, too - and I am warmed and encouraged by that. Its a very good thing. Evolving inside as well as outside is a very good thing. I was not expecting people to be so explicit in their posts, but I truly appreciate your candor and your inclusivity. Although undoubtedly very painful, it sets an example and encourages deeper debate and healthy analysis as to our evolution as whole people - not just focussing on the cursory effects and remedial behaviour modifications that wls engenders. It is the ultimate 'ground truth'. You are all fabulous x

Firstly I would discuss it with your Mum. If she paid for the surgery - or at least assisted in it - then she might be more receptive to assisting you with the post operative issues you may be having. Secondly, I would go and talk to the health professionals based at your college. They might be able to provide you with some direct assistance, or at least put you in contact with people who can help you for free. As RJ has advised - depression is no joke and should be addressed and treated as quickly as possible. Thirdly, you had surgery on 15th November. You are still so freshly out of it and are rightly struggling with trying to hold activities down when you're eating so little. If you can rest as much as you can when you're not at college and be mindful of the nutrients you're putting inside you - maximising the protein/vitamins/ minerals and most importantly, H20 - it should help matters. If you feel your energy dropping, take a little food/protein on board. Despite all this, your mental wellbeing is the most important issue and as such, should be treated immediately and only by qualified professionals. Your college absolutely have a duty of care to help you with this. I wish you the best.

Did you have any psyche counseling before having your surgery? I noticed you were self pay and wondered whether as part of the package, they supply this for you?