Roo101769

I haven't gone into great length about the surgery (with her) as far as exactly what it entails etc. But I have been honest I am having it because she is obviously going to know something is going on. It is me and her, period. Her father chooses not to be part of her life. I have a very small family so there are not any extended family members I can turn to. She will be staying with her sitter a few days as I have surgery and heal some. I had to tell her because I didn't want her to worry. But as it was stated before, she is probably "picking up" on things. It IS a major life changer, and it will effect her life too. I do not mention the surgery much, but it is a coming fact of life. In the mean time I am allowing her to cling. I do not believe in any part of me anything bad is going to happen, yet you never know. I would hate to leave her behind feeling I brushed her off these past few weeks. I am giving her the extra love and attention, and maybe that is why she is picking up that something is up. But you are certainly right Ms skinniness, she IS precious!!!

Thanks ElginChris..I am right behind you! LOL Before we both know it surgery will be done and we will be living in our new (improved) bodies!!!

Hello...my name is Rhonda and I am a carb-aholic. LOL

I totally agree with you SeaLegs. It was only after I indulged in carbs that I wanted to eat and eat. I have been maintaining the high protein/ low carb /low fat & calorie lifestyle since August 1st. After the first week it was pretty easy to stay content with it. But after having the sweet icing and cake all I have wanted to do was eat. Today has been a bit better. I have been staying busy, which makes avoiding the food cravings easier. I think I am like you kltklass, a carb adict. It might have something to do with I have PCOS. While my insulin levels are normal, the way my body uses insulin is out of wack. So staying away from carbs probably is the best idea. I really appreciate the support from you all. I am confident the sleeve is exactly what I need and I am so glad I am taking the steps to be where I need to.

I have a picture on my profile of the cake, just don't know how to attach a thumbnail here. Maybe this is it..

Well last night sort of messed up the whole "no temptation" part. While I am still not really tempted by the cake itself, the icing was another story. I decided to make homemade buttercream icing, which I have never done. Once I got the batch made I had to taste to make sure it was ok..Oh yeah, it was "ok". LOL I will NEVER again buy a tub of icing. Not only is it easy to make, it tastes AMAZING!!!! But the problem was I found myself licking my fingers way, way too much during the crumb coat phase. I licked off the caramel that oozed on the table, I licked the buttercream that happened to be on my knuckle. When all was said and done I would hate to begin to imagine the amount of calories and fat I ingested. This morning I had a Unjury protein shake just to help detox from last night!!! The leaves are taking a bit longer than I had imagined. I should have worked on them farther in advance. But you live and learn. Like I said, I am a novice. You are right WANNABALOSER, it is a bit pricey. But a lot of the items I bought to make this cake can be used again and again. ( the items used for decorating) I was able to get the cake mix really cheaply. ( The cake itself is a mix, everything else is being done from scratch by hand) I would estimate about $40ish in product for the cake, but the hours spent are where bakeries get to charge an arm and a leg. TES I will do my best to post a picture when it is complete.

Thanks for the suggestions! I am trying to figure out ways to dine out without guilt or undoing what I have accomplished. My main go to is looking up menus in advance and checking the nutritional values and making up my mind what I want from that. Makes it easier to not have to think about it when I am hungry. But on the fly is still an issue. I know I will figure it out over time. I am a food addict in some ways. While I do not eat mass quantities for the most part, I do eat junk. My choices are a huge part of my weight issues. I am just trying to get a grip on that now. I have been journaling. Not so much the food (although I do write some about what I eat) but about my emotions. And I have been blogging here. I know now this is going to be about 70% (or more) mental for me, so I am trying to get "my head into the game" so to speak. And my biggest victory of all will be when I am no longer in pain daily from arthritis. I am not on any meds that will be stopped due to weight loss. While I cannot imagine how great I will feel when I can wear smaller sizes, I long for the day when I can walk without pain. That is my biggest goal. The rest will be hummus on the tofu as icing on the cake is no longer part of my world!!! LOL

Perhaps it is genuine concern she approached with when saying you are too skinny. Don't get me wrong, I personally think you look fabulous. (Not "too skinny" nor "an old man") But this woman has spent years accepting (and loving I assume) you as you were. Sometimes it is harder for those around us to accept we are obese and need help than it is for us to decide it for ourselves. You did what was right for you, for your life. Be proud every second of every day that you cared enough about YOU to do that. In time the family (and others) will come around and get to know and love the "new" you the same as they did the old you. BTW- I think it is awesome you and your wife did this together. That is an amazing support system built right into your marriage!

I am not worried about the food aspect of the holidays, but I want to be able to participate and be active then. My daughter is only four and I am a single parent ( father is uninvolved) so I am the only one she has to make those times special for her. It is much more about being able to do things with her over the holidays. ( instead of being laid up healing from major surgery) December is basically out because of work. I really wanted to take advantage of the financial aspect since I have already met annual cap on insurance. ( Why I would like to get it done this year) That is probably why you found so many folks had booked for end of year. The one plus I have is it seems like my surgeon is the less busy one in the practice. He is an older gentleman with years of experience. ( He is head of bariatrics for two hospitals) But his partner is the "face" of the practice. He is the one you see on their website. He is also the one holding the seminars. So when everyone who attended the seminar signed up to consult after, about 98% signed up for that doctor. I had already been referred to my doctor by my PCP so I was going to him anyway. Maybe his "lack of popularity" will help me out in the long run! LOL

NUT evaluation / counseling done. Apparently I AM doing something right! I have nothing further to do before surgery, just check ups after!!! The research I have done along with the changes I have already made has gone a long way in this process. So now it is the pulmonary exam, wait for records & letter from PCP to be received and they will send in to insurance!!!! Which also means the 6 mos. has officially been cleared up. I received a call from the office on my way to the NUT appt. to tell me they have it straight now. The girl I spoke with ( handles insurance for Dr. Bruce) said Anthem is one of the worst insurers for getting information right. So she was not surprised it happened. But now it is cleared up so we just keep moving ahead. I know this is what I need. Yes, I have my doubts. But I also have my certainties and I understand for certain this is the path I need to be on..

Nope. My new insurance went into effect on 6/1 and I didn't make contact with my bariatric doctor until mid July. So the only information they have is for my new insurance, which is Anthem Blue Cross. It is just frustrating that I am told one thing, and then my doctor is told another. The rep I spoke to yesterday assured me he would contact the doctor and advise that the six month medically supervised diet was not required by my plan, so who knows? If I had not actually been to my doctor in March to start it ( for the other plan) I would now be looking at another 6 months, which I had NOT planned on at all! Like I said, just frustrating. I have my psych evaluation today. I am not worried about it unless he brings up insurance, then I could have some problems! LOL

Southernsoul you have validated what I thought. My decision ( and it was truly my own since I haven't even had my first appointment with my bariatric doctor) was to make changes now, to make it easier in the long run. I have no choice but commit myself heart and soul to this change. Why the heck would I have a major surgery, have at least 80% of my stomach removed, and risk my life to just maintain the same behaviors that got me to this point? I know of at least one person who had WLS ( she was banded) who has not changed the foods she eats, and to this day she is obese- 3 years out. When she found out who my doctor is she begged me not to use him. She said he was "good at the surgery" part but had no bedside manner and was an @ss. Then she went on to say how they never explained to her how to properly live with the band, blah blah blah. Ok, my first thought was she was blaming the doctor for her failure. I have been out with her, I have seen how she continues to eat. If I didn't know she had been banded I would never believe she had WLS. These things are given to us as tools, but it is up to us to use them correctly. There is mandatory nutritional counseling, so yes we are told the types of food that is good. ( and what is bad) And in this day and age with the internet there is absolutely NO excuse not to be informed. I think she saw the band (in her case) as a "get skinny quick" method that wouldn't require her effort....WRONG! From all I have read it is a LOT of work and effort. The only difference with having WLS vs. the go it alone method...At least with WLS you have a REAL chance at success if you play by the rules. When you go it alone it, very often, meets with limited success and often times not lasting results. So I chose to stick to my guns and do what I believe is best for me.

Thanks for writing me cherip and southernsoul. In reading your comments I see you BOTH had surgery 6/19! Obviously a very good day for both of you.. I know I am far from the only person who has weight issues and must deal with aches and pains. It gives me so much hope for my future when I read of others success. In fact, it makes the pain now more manageable in a way, knowing that it won't last. While the damage is done, I know I can vastly improve my symptoms and prevent further damage by getting the weight off.

Thanks! I will check it out. I have 176lbs to lose to reach my "goal". But any loss is a win in my mind!

Wishing you all kinds of success and a speedy recovery! Hope the sleeve does all you want it to do for you...And how lucky you are to have such a great hubby!!!

Nope, no date yet. Just working towards the goal. As far as thoughts popping in your head...Happens to me too. My very first thoughts, once I decided to go for the WLS, was of all the foods I have to give up. In a way I got past that when I decided on the sleeve. It seems to be the least restrictive of what types of food you can eat. So that then puts the burden on me to have will power. My game plan is to eat the "good" food first. If I fill up on what I have to eat, I won't have room left for junk. Or at least I am betting on that...Right now it is totally mind over matter though. I guess part of me is mad that I have to do this. It isn't fair. But life isn't fair I suppose. I have this body. It is the hand I was dealt. So I need to play the best game I can. So far I have done a horrible job. I let the weight win. But luck is about to change and I am taking control. I have already had some images and thoughts of food. I just remind myself what that food has done to me. Maybe I will carry my "before" picture with me to look at in those moments of weakness. Remind myself exactly what my so called "friend" food did to me! I think the mental battle will be hardest. I have to retrain my brain. For 43 years food has served all kinds of purposes, but usually not for life. I lived to eat, not eat to live. Now I am trying to see food as a fuel source and nothing more. It is not for comfort. It is not for enjoyment. It is not cause for celebration. The fact is I cannot have that relationship with food again. As unfair as it seems to me right this moment, it is what it is.

PRAISE BE!!!! It seems that whoever quoted the doctor my coverage did NOT look under the non standard benefits. Yes, the plan I have does exclude bariatric surgery. BUT, my employer chose to add it to the policy so it IS covered! In fact, the doctor I am going to AND the hospital he uses are both in network! I am beside myself with happiness right now...That scared me!

Apparently my insurance said bariatric surgery is excluded from our plan when they called to verify. That is NOT true! I had contacted my insurance prior starting this and they said it was covered...

Thank you so much Beach Lover. I have a call into the office, but had to leave a message. I am waiting to hear back. I am trying very hard to stay positive. In fact, my horoscope today said something about starting a new project and that there will be bumps in the road. But it said those bumps are just a sign to get up and keep trying, and that is what I intend to do!

Hello all and thanks for reading my blog! Shimmer...I read what you said and have thought about it. I too am a little scared about having my body altered to such a degree. ( that is why I had first leaned toward the lap band) But here is how I look at it. My body is already altered and I had no say in it. The arthritis has damaged my joints, done and done. The blood clots have ruined the blood vessels in my right leg. I didn't want it or asked for it, but it is what I got. I have to live with it. So the idea that I can take charge and DECIDE to do something is actually empowering. Yes, it is major and drastic. But had I died from those clots, that would have been major and drastic too. I think surgery and a fabulous, functional, pain free body is a WAY better deal than the alternative!!!