Oak Park Lorena

Thank you, Kate! I know exactly what you mean about the depravation making you want something more. I'm boxing up some of the big calorie beers I have and storing them in my friend's basement! Craft beer is a hobby for me, I go to beer releases, attend beer events, and I homebrew. It's not about the alcohol, in fact I often wish the alchol could be removed, it's about the taste. For people who know nothing about craft beer, this is perhaps a revelation. Over the years, I've amassed a very large collection of stouts. It's very tempting to pop one open and enjoy it in the evening, so I've decided that for the time being, it's safer to have them far enough away from me that's it's not an option! So, I've got some nice, lower calorie IPAs and sours in the fridge. I'm allowed to have one after I run. Seems like a reasonable compromise to me! When I've gotten the weight under control, I think it will be safe to enjoy a higher calorie beer trreat once in a while, just not every day. Thanks for the nice message and the support! It's good to hear that someone else has wrangled their treat demon!

Ha! Yes, though there is what's behind door number 3 to consider as well . . .

I wasn't necessarily speaking of OKCPirate's post, I was speaking of the posts by those who felt the need to chastize the OP and insult her for having the temerity to speak up. And I don't know that she was rude to him, she was rather blunt, but I don't know that it's rude. I think that there are many people on this site dispensing advice when it's not asked for and often when it isn't appropriate. I'm not surprised that there are people who don't appreciate that.

Really, funny, shows a response on the 22nd, that's hardly makes it a stale thread by this forum's standards. It showed up as one of the more recent threads in the forum list as well. But, no worries, I will add to the list of the rules perpetuated by the Flaming Forum Trolls: no responses to threads after. . .sorry, how many days before we aren't allowed to respond? I'd hate to make another mistake. Maybe you can add to your forum overlord duties to post "CONVERSATION CLOSED" on threads you deem closed. That way it's clear as an unmuddied lake to the rest of us who are just here to engage in pleasant conversations and mutual support

I'm rooting for you too @Oak Park Lorena ! Last summer I gained 25-30 pounds by eating my old favorites, and it was hard and frustrating to get back on plan and back to losing. Like Alex says - it was slower coming off for me this time too.
Sounds like you enjoy good beer the way I enjoy good chocolate! If I cut it out it's almost a stronger compulsion to want it, and then I've made it something off-plan and am susceptible to the "all or nothing" mentality. Never good for me, since going for "all" is how I gained. I now enjoy some chocolate every day, guilt free. Some types/forms I know I can't keep in the house, but I found ones I can and enjoyment of them helps this be a forever plan instead of one more diet.
Anyway, for me getting back to losing was about small manageable steps, and ones that didn't feel arduous. You'll know what they are for you--and sounds like you already do.
Mainly, just know lots of us on this forum understand something about where you are and how hard you're working to do what you're wanting to do. Good going for taking this on--I'm one more here cheering for you!
Kate

In response to the person mentioning it's not a good weight loss food, I think one thing that gets lost on people like us really trying to diet is that anything in moderation is acceptable. It's knowing when you're having too much. Considering it's chicken, you can still count it as high Protein so you know, trading off less nutritional benefit for some in another area. As long as you're not overindulging and having things every day, you'll do A-OK. We shouldn't convince ourselves that there are things we just can't have because we're trying to lose weight. I think that's a bad relationship to have with food personally. I think it's far more mature to know your restrictions with certain less-than-ideal foods and learn how to eat them within your guidelines than it is to say no way Jose flat out.
But that's me, I've always held a "nothing is not allowed" perspective and I know I abused it sometimes, but I think this is a great time to work on it and be responsible with that motto.

Ha! Yes, though there is what's behind door number 3 to consider as well . . .

I can't decide whether I want to be a Flaming Forum Troll or a Forum Overlord...
Looks like I've got a decision to make...

This has been an interesting thread to read. I am single, male, sleeved, and have been "looking" for about a month. I have recently met two women who disclosed that they had WLS (one had the sleeve and the other a gastric bypass) without any prompting from me. There was no romantic connection with either of them, but I enjoyed having a face to face discussion with folks who have had WLS.
@Samanthjo20070 - I think your post was appropriate, and if I was younger and lived closer to you I would have messaged you. Good luck with your search!
@@OKCPirate - I appreciate your sharing of your dating experiences. I know I need to have the numbers in my favor and recently volunteered at a local Wine and Music festival where the mix was about 75% women / 25% men. I found out that I got better looking as the women continued to taste wine.
@@Oak Park Lorena - You have a great dry sense of humor and I chuckled about your suggestion of creating a "bizarro singles forum". Please keep your posts coming.

Ha! Lots of them, you'd be surprised. The main culprits are big stouts, some aged in bourbon barrels, that have a lot of residual sugar and hence a lot of calories. And we're talking about 12 oz bottles. They're delicious though!

Hello, thanks for the message and I'm sorry to hear that you are in the same boat! It is kind of crazy how fast the weight can come back on. There's no question that formerly overweight people will always have to be vigilant with the calories much more so than their same weight counterparts who have never been heavy. Getting married is a huge life change. I know that for me when I married my now ex husband, we were not great influences on one another. Part of our "nesting" was cooking and eating a lot and not working out much! As far as your comments about the gym/cycling/spinning, this is what I can offer you: start small. Every gym has stationary bikes, I would suggest starting with that. Most of them are programmable, you can push yourself as much as you're ready to. Spinning is a great way to burn a huge number of calories, the classes are usually fun because there's good music and there's definitely a sense of group commradarie, BUT, I did spinning when I was in very good shape and it is very challenging. I don't think that's a good place to start if you haven't been working out much for some time. Once you've gotten to the point where you can do a good work out on the stationary bike, you might even just try cycling on a spin bike on your own. They are more like racing bikes in terms of the seat and the pedals. Most gyms have one or two mixed in with the other bikes or you might even be able to go into the spin room when there's no class. And I totally hear you on the cost of food! I started my own business and have to really watch the expenditures these days. I eat a lot of canned tuna and sardines!

Had my sleeve done in August 2013.
I reached my goal weight and stayed there thanks to regular daily exercise including running 25 miles a week, yoga and pilates. Last summer, I started having serious foot pain. By October 2015, doing any kind of exercise became almost impossible because of an entrapped nerve in my foot. I finally had surgery to release the nerve in April. I was unable to walk for almost a month and then had limited mobility until June.
I am a homebrewer and a big craft beer fan. I was able to incorporate moderate beer consumption into my diet when I was very active. When I became very inactive all of a sudden, I didn't cut out the beer, in fact, the depression that accompanied the inability to be mobile actually made me drink more. So, while my food consumption has stayed pretty much the same as the first two years post-op, the beer has increased. Many of the beers I have are 800 calories in a single bottle. I am certain that my beer calories on a daily basis are more than the food I eat.
As a result, I've gained back 40 pounds. Yes, 40 pounds. You have no idea how awful it is to write that down.
I'm now trying to work my way back. I've started working out again, but it's tough given more than 6 months of inactivity. I am trying VERY hard not be depressed and discouraged by the backsliding, but it's very difficult when I cannot fit into most of my clothing any more. After a year at my goal weight, I gave away nearly all my "fat" clothes. I have a few things I can still squeeze into, but they are not flattering given the extra pounds.
Please DON'T bother sending me messages reiterating what I already know. I know how to eat, I know that I have to cut out the beer. Knowing it and doing it are two different things! I'm here for support and commiseration, not for finger wagging. I know I 'm not the only person in this boat. Would love to connect with some people on the same road I am and supporting one another. This is incredibly difficult for me, but I am ready to put in the effort to get back to my hard-earned previous size. Anyone with me?

Nah, don't shove the lamb down their throat, that would be a waste of quality Protein I literally cringed when I read your post. I cringed because I can feel how raw and painful it is for you and I have had similar fun experiences that still hurt. Family, even the crazy ones, have the ability to cut to the quick like no one else. I had my sleeve in August and I saw the whole family for Thanksgiving after I'd dropped 70 pounds. I cannot tell you how many times I had to bite my tongue to stop myself when I heard things like, "she didn't really lose weight, she cheated and got her stomach taken out," "don't worry, she's an eater, we'll see next Thanksgiving." And these are the people who love me! I just keep repeating my mantra: in with anger, out with love, in with anger, out with love, in with anger, out with cursing and body blows...ooops!

Really, funny, shows a response on the 22nd, that's hardly makes it a stale thread by this forum's standards. It showed up as one of the more recent threads in the forum list as well. But, no worries, I will add to the list of the rules perpetuated by the Flaming Forum Trolls: no responses to threads after. . .sorry, how many days before we aren't allowed to respond? I'd hate to make another mistake. Maybe you can add to your forum overlord duties to post "CONVERSATION CLOSED" on threads you deem closed. That way it's clear as an unmuddied lake to the rest of us who are just here to engage in pleasant conversations and mutual support

Ha! Lots of them, you'd be surprised. The main culprits are big stouts, some aged in bourbon barrels, that have a lot of residual sugar and hence a lot of calories. And we're talking about 12 oz bottles. They're delicious though!

There are always things we can do with makeup etc to bring out our best features and hide/minimize the ones we don't like, but unless we can actually see ourselves as we truly are, all the makeup and Spanx in the world won't help. I was never told that I had a pretty face either, but I was told I had a great smile and amazing eyes. So those are the things I try to bring out, but I am also a pretty low maintenance person so I don't care enough to spend hours on hair and makeup. I go for simple. I am appreciating the comments I've been getting lately about how great I look and I can see my progress, especially as I get into smaller and smaller clothes. But pretty has never been my goal. Would I love someone to see me as beautiful? Yes, but that, for me, is the cherry on top of getting healthy. I am afraid if your only goal from surgery is pretty or healthy, you may never find that. Its too subjective and our brains will fight that and continue to find fault.
My suggestion is to find something tangible to be your goal. i.e. train and run/walk a 5k, 10k, marathon, or triathlon; train for and hike a mountain or trail that you've always dreamed of; train for and go on a bike/walk vacation; train for and take a running cruise; etc. Pick something you've seen others do and thought looked fun but out of your reach because of your size and work towards that goal. You will learn so much about yourself along the way. Pretty is fleeting no matter your size or age, but an accomplishment you never thought possible can't be taken away. The memories are yours forever. And along the way, you might find that people see your confidence and enthusiasm as the beautiful you were looking for.
pam

I was last normal sized when I was in my early 20s. i never saw myself as beautiful then, partly because I was beaten down by insults, especially from my dad. Fast forward to my late 40s, I lose 150# and my facial features are really visible again. I never expected to be "pretty" but I was absolutely appalled at how I old I looked. I had a boyfriend who paid me lots of complliments and one time when we were talking about how much I had changed (he didn't know me pre weight loss) and he made the remark that I was so lucky on two counts given my former size - thin calves, so no cankles and such a pretty face. I have always had thin calves, but the face thing sounded like a baldface lie to me. I was gracious in accepting the compliment, but never believed a word of it.
I didn't talk about it much because I felt so ungrateful... to be whining about having such an ancient looking face. It fit in with some of the grief I had over missing out on decades worth of a normal life due to the obestiy.... but over time several people mentioned that I am fairly youthful looking etc etc.. and I began to suspect face dismorphia.
then it it hit me, the last time I saw my facial features like that I was in my early twenties. Of course I looked old compared to that! I really worked hard at accepting my face - the main thing I did was not allow myself to do the negative self talk. If I caught myself looking in the mirror saying horrible things about myself I would force myself to STOP. Over time, I think I have developed a more realistic view.
I have some remnants of losing 150# - my neck is a little weird looking. I talked to the doctor about a face lift and he told me to wait 8-10 years, I don't have deep wrinkles and I clean up nice. I like wearing makeup, so I have some put a bit of effort into learning how to do it again (after decades of not really trying).
So, hearing your story, seeing your picture - I think you too have dismorphia. You have picked something that you feel doesn't look good and have overly emphasized it. You are a very pretty young woman, you don't look like someone who has lost alot of weight (whatever THAT means) and I think you will find that if you keep a smile on your face, elimintate the hateful self talk ... over time you will start to see what the rest of us see. ... a woman who is beautiful inside and OUT.

I was last normal sized when I was in my early 20s. i never saw myself as beautiful then, partly because I was beaten down by insults, especially from my dad. Fast forward to my late 40s, I lose 150# and my facial features are really visible again. I never expected to be "pretty" but I was absolutely appalled at how I old I looked. I had a boyfriend who paid me lots of complliments and one time when we were talking about how much I had changed (he didn't know me pre weight loss) and he made the remark that I was so lucky on two counts given my former size - thin calves, so no cankles and such a pretty face. I have always had thin calves, but the face thing sounded like a baldface lie to me. I was gracious in accepting the compliment, but never believed a word of it.
I didn't talk about it much because I felt so ungrateful... to be whining about having such an ancient looking face. It fit in with some of the grief I had over missing out on decades worth of a normal life due to the obestiy.... but over time several people mentioned that I am fairly youthful looking etc etc.. and I began to suspect face dismorphia.
then it it hit me, the last time I saw my facial features like that I was in my early twenties. Of course I looked old compared to that! I really worked hard at accepting my face - the main thing I did was not allow myself to do the negative self talk. If I caught myself looking in the mirror saying horrible things about myself I would force myself to STOP. Over time, I think I have developed a more realistic view.
I have some remnants of losing 150# - my neck is a little weird looking. I talked to the doctor about a face lift and he told me to wait 8-10 years, I don't have deep wrinkles and I clean up nice. I like wearing makeup, so I have some put a bit of effort into learning how to do it again (after decades of not really trying).
So, hearing your story, seeing your picture - I think you too have dismorphia. You have picked something that you feel doesn't look good and have overly emphasized it. You are a very pretty young woman, you don't look like someone who has lost alot of weight (whatever THAT means) and I think you will find that if you keep a smile on your face, elimintate the hateful self talk ... over time you will start to see what the rest of us see. ... a woman who is beautiful inside and OUT.

Uh ... if your avatar is a recent photo of you, you are really attractive.
I think you may have some other issues -- dysmorphic ones. Seriously!
That's not to say that we each don't have things we'd like to improve / fix / disguise / highlight about our appearances. That's why Spanx and makeup were invented.
But seriously -- your written description of your face and your photograph do NOT coincide.

Ha! I love this! You are totally right about seeing the same people. I'm onto my 4th dating site after a hiatus and it's depressing to see many of the same faces. Maybe there's a parallel with the sleeve and online dating, you have to fail a lot before you succeed! Congrats to you and the hubby for finding one another

It really depends on your knees. I'm 256 right now and tried starting couch to 5k last week and thought I was going to die -- as in I needed narcotics for my knees after the first C25k 30 minute session. Now, I have bad knees to start and am staring down bilateral knee replacement, which is part of why I'm walking this path -- every 1 lb down is 5 lb less pressure on the knees. I'm pre-surgery. I don't think I'll try jogging again until I'm under 200.

I realize this is a bit of an old thread, but I was so thrilled to find it, just have to say thank you, thank you for such a detailed and running-positive post!
I had been a runner during periods of weight loss thorughout my adulthood and always loved it, not just because it burns a huge number of calories, but it is the one exercise I have found that really transports me to my happy place during and after!
I started running about six months after my sleeve, so February 2014. In October 2014, I ran in the Bourbon Chase, it's a 200-mile relay marathon. The rest of my team members were all 20 years younger than me, all much thinner and much faster runners, but I loved every minute of it (even the gu!) I finished all three of my legs for a total of almost 20 miles. I got up to running 40 miles a week on a regular basis. It really helped me with the weight loss/maintenenance and it was a very positive thing in my life. I did it on vacation, I did it on business trips--one of the things I love about it is that you can do it almost anywhere if you've got your shoes!
Unfortunately, I have a congenital foot condition that finally caught up with me and I had to have surgery. The running had nothing to do with it, in fact, my ortho had strongly encouraged me to run as long as I could before the surgery to keep up my conditioning. I was off running and pretty much everything else except some sad chair yoga for many months. I gained weight, watched in horror as my quads seemed to melt down to nothing, winced as my hamstrings seemed to want to roll themselves into little unhappy balls. It was not a fun experience. I've been back to the running for a few weeks now, started the day my ortho cleared me and started really slowly, walk/run/walk run for a few miles. I did my first 5-mile run yesterday. My surgical foot is doing terrific, the rest of me is still adjusting to the long period of inactivity! Thank you for taking the time to write such an encouraging post for those of us who are not skinny, I love running and it is a bit frustrating how negative so many people are about it (you can't run, you're fat, ugh!!!

I started as soon as I was cleared for exercise, maybe 250? I'm 5'6". Couch to 5k. Now 2.5 years later I've run two marathons and countless other races. I often win my age group!

I was just under 300 pounds when I started. I wanted to start earlier (used to run quite a bit when I was much younger), but I had some lower back issues that kept me from walking for more than a few yards much less trying to run. A few months with a chiropractor fixed that; as soon as I could I was up and, um, running.

Started seriously running around 285.

Thanks so much for this great thread @@JamieLogical! I've done C25K before and have been trying to gt back into running recently. Your post has inspired me to give it another try. I need to get some good running playlists - music is what fuels me. You shared some very important and helpful information that I'll keep in mind as I try again.