KaraBoo

I've always (even in my slimmer days) been attracted to the bigger (height and weight) guys. I'm a shorty (5' 1.5") and the tallest guy I dated was 6'8". My current SO is 5'11" & 290. Gotta love them teddy bears!

I've thought about this post for days now, going back and forth on whether or not to reply. My situation is slightly different from yours, but in the hopes that this will ease your mind, I'll share a little of my story.
I got married really young and had 3 kids in rapid succession. I never lost my baby weight with any of the pregnancies, and was well over 200 with my last pregnancy (I'm 5' 1 1/2"). My husband was not interested in me any longer and in fact cheated on me multiple times, always citing my weight as the reason. I finally left him after 7 years and went back to school for my nursing degree. I tried and failed to lose weight, the usual story.
3 years ago, I met my current boyfriend. 2 1/2 years ago the kids and I moved in with him. He has never known me thin. He has never made comments on my weight. In the beginning, our sex life was great and he was so complimentary, always telling me how beautiful I am, etc. About a year and a half ago, that changed. The compliments stopped, and we did not have sex for over a year. From my previous experience, I was convinced it was me, that he found me unattractive, that he couldn't stand to see me naked. It was around this time that I started considering the sleeve as my mom had it and has done wonderfully with it.
Here's the thing.... it wasn't me at all. He has ED and that was the reason for the changes I saw. He was insecure and self-conscious. After a huge blow up fight where I got as far as packing my clothes, he finally let me in to where his head had been at. He didn't want to compliment me for fear it would key me up and he would be unable to perform. He was also worried that I'd find someone else who could. We both cried and finally had an honest discussion about our different expectations. This is not to say we don't still have our issues, because all relationships do. But what I thought was all my fault actually wasn't.
Now I'm close to getting my surgery date (so excited!). I had a week where I gained instead of losing and freaked out. He told me "If you lose or gain, it won't change my feelings. I love you, your body is just icing on the cake." He is incredibly supportive and my biggest cheerleader. I think you and your husband need to have an honest and open discussion. His reasons for behaving the way he is might just surprise you. If he really is just not interested and pulling away, try counseling. If that doesn't work, move on. There is someone out there who will love you for you, regardless of the packaging you come in! {{{hugs}}}

Thank you so much for posting this! I start my preop diet on the 23rd, kinda nervous about it! Good luck, you're doing great!

See! This is all part of my master plan... Invade an American site, drop my lingo frequently enough for it to become common parlance and whilst I'm at it, neurologically program you all into thinking that Oreo's are the devils work!
Seems that Ohio is ahead of the game. Well done Ohio!
Shall we run a sweepstake as to which State will be slowest on the uptake? My guess is California

She's just jealous because they eat things like bangers and spotted d**k....

Seriously.....Oreos make the world go round. When Columbus discovered America, he was really looking for Oreos.

Ok looked it up....
ming Verb. To smell or look unpleasant. E.g."Yearghh, that's disgusting! It mings in here! Which one of you has farted?"
GIRL GET OFF MY THREAD! I will tolerate a lot around here. But I draw the line at dissing an American CLASSIC!!!

You mean I could of just fed my husband bacon instead of getting a tubal ligation???

Would I be a social outcast if I admitted that I think Oreo Cookies are absolutely disgusting?
Now, Scottish all-butter shortbread.. That is a different matter entirely!

I'm November 6!! =)

Tonight.. I am drinking hard liquor. I make no apologies for it and given the week I've had, it is entirely warranted. Empty calories and all. So there!

Yeah, now she just uses french fries to transport the chocolate shake to her mouth. No straw required.

Y'all can have my share of candy corn. That's nasty!

Some of the things mentioned here as cheats are part of what I eat sometimes...Salsa and chips...Tortellini, pizza, I use these as part of my day to day life.....I got this sleeve to help me deal with my food addiction and teach me how to eat to live....
I made a choice not to follow a failed program before and do without things that I like to eat....That to me is becoming another addiction ...we can't be afraid of food anymore but work through the issues of why we are where we are...Balance is so important in this area....
I feel I need a little bit of everything so I guess I cheat all the time....160lb. gone in 10 months! Seems to work for me so far!!!!

If I may enquire? Why did you chew it up and spit it out? Were you very soon out of your surgery? I know that it is laden with all sorts of badness, but if you only had a little bit, would that be the end of the world? Personally, if I had a lump of gorgeousness like that in my mouth, I would not be spitting it out! x

Wait...my husband lied?

Lol... I don't think she's that high on pain meds...
And would one have to take a Protein pump inhibitor afterwards???

Okay, so, since I've been frequenting this virtual bariatric world, there appear to be a few issues which seem to ignite much debate and throw the most meekly devised threads into huge ego-centric 'flaming' exercises.
Not only do I, personally, find this predictably boring; it is also deeply unhelpful. We all know that this process changes or should change, how we do and view things to do with food and wider health issues, forever. As such, it takes a bit of getting used to.
The prospect of having to adapt our long-held behaviours is scary and our little food related rituals? They are tough bleedin' Cookies to break. (My apologies for mentioning the 'C' word there)
Consequently, I'm a big believer in the adage that 'skeletons in the cupboard' are no longer 'skeletons', if they are dragged out into the light of day. (Normally kicking and screaming with the neighbours looking on in horror)
So, roll-up, roll-up. Consider this an online bariatric confessional!
There'll be no 'Hail Mary's' or 'Our Fathers' and flagellation will NOT and should not be forthcoming.
I want you to tell us your 'dirty' little bariatric secrets.
What did you do? Why did you do it? (and I will refrain from asking 'with whom?' you did it!) How did it make you feel afterwards? Did you resolve to never do it again - or indeed, did you think that actually, everything in moderation is not so bad after all?
Did you chow down on that hot-sauce laden and cheese encrusted beef taco 2 days post op? (No one can tell I'm fantasizing about anything that does not constitute a 'fluid' much, can you?!!!) Did you sneak into the fridge and eat all your kids chocolate bars, happy in the knowledge that your Protein Pump Inhibitors would prevent you from getting indigestion? Did you swallow 10 vodka martini's to see if your pouch and your legs could take it?
Come on, tell Aunty Revs and lets see if we can put these beasts to bed once and for all x
As is only fair, I shall go first.. Tonight, I, 8 days post surgery, ate a fair amount of cheese frosting off the top of a red velvet cupcake (and maybe a couple of mouthfuls of the sponge, too). Why? Because it was there. Did it make any sense? No, because I have never craved sweet stuff. I'm a savoury kind of girl. What did I learn from it? That damn, I'm an emotional eater (which I never thought I was) and that shockingly, that **** went down a little bit too easily. Consequently, I learnt in that way lies grave danger...
See, if I can do it, anyone can. So, step forward and lets hear the 'worst' you've got. Everyone is welcome and all are equal here x

Yes and Yes, mine are getting smaller but longer. I had to get new bras this weekend. I was like pretty soon, they'll be down to my knees.
Why can't they just get perkier as they get smaller? Really is that too much to ask???

Bah! I'm not fooled. You started out just under 300 and now your around or just under 190! That's 100 pounds! Whether all of that came before or after surgery really doesn't matter, you still get credit (I'm taking credit for every pound of loss that I've managed to hang onto)! That's a big deal! And, I have to point out (with no criticism or malice) that the shirt in your before pick was a bit snug, so if you're wearing the same size shirt to the gym (and let's face it, big girls and "used to be big girls" tend to prefer roomier tops to camoflauge all of our perceived flaws... I assume that's not just me), so I wouldn't imagine it would look foolishly large (although it's entirely possible that it could be, but you can't see it and your workout partners might not tell you). My next point is this: I'm 5'8" I weighed 349 at my heaviest. I just donated a workout shirt that I wore at that weight almost more because I have better stuff now than it's too big. I can still wear it without it looking "foolishly large". So, that's a span of about 80 pounds that I was able to reasonably wear the same shirt.
You have come a really long way, give yourself credit for that. So you're 25 pounds up, (25, not 100) after a really traumatic period in your life. It happens to most of us at some point or other. I had lost 115 pounds between 2009 and 2011 and then my mother in law was in ICU for 2 weeks, so we spent every night in the hospital since we were out of towners and didn't have to work. Every day, we went to a greasy spoon for Breakfast (in Oklahoma, so their baseline for plentiful healthy food choices is pretty darn low, not that it really would have mattered). I gained a little more than a pound a day that trip and never got my motivation back after that until I decided it was time for surgery. It's unbelievably hard to make good food and fitness choices when you're exhausted and under pressure and stress. You've lost it before, you can do it again! Might take a little more planning and dedication this time, but you sure as heck can do it! After reading your info on your profile page, though, I would consider investigating any health issues that might be interfering with your efforts to lose weight. Standard culprits: sleep disorders, depression, pain, thyroid, insulin resistance/diabetes/PCOS, medication interactions and side effects. I don't even know how many things could interfere, it feels like it's a never-ending list. For me, my biggest barriers were a sleep disorder, pain (let's face it, it hurts like hell to weigh over 300pounds, and that's a major motivator to keep your butt velcro'd to the couch!), and depression (dysthymia, really - pretty minor, but still a pretty significant factor in my lack of motivation to exercise and make good food choices). After I really started getting into my health issues, as minor as they were, I learned that I actually wasn't lazy! I truly thought I was a lazy person because I never wanted to do anything, but it turns out that I was exhausted from an undiagnosed sleep disorder. Now that I'm dealing with that, and have found an antidepressant that seems to be more effective (and to be honest, I'm still not certain that the dysthymia diagnosis wasn't actually misdiagnosed symptoms of my sleep disorder, but I'm sticking with my med while I move through the weight loss phase and into maintenance before I start testing coming off of it).
Anyway, I digress... I just want to urge you to go easy on yourself and take care of yourself. It sounds like you've been doing everything you can think of to keep moving toward your goal. You are working hard and deserve success, you will find the right combination. Best of luck to you as you keep working hard. I wish you all the success and support you could hope for! (and I apologize for my diarrhea of the fingertips... I just started on a stimulant... I think I took it too late in the day or I probably should have just forced myself to bed, like, 6 hours ago. Tomorrow should be fun...)

I assure you, nothing was directed at any one, group, or condition in particular. Just general ridiculousness... I would not survive without my dark, dry, wry sense of humor. It's an occupational hazard