Kristina Mccarthy-Martin

I told myself that I should only weigh once a week, but somehow I still end up on the scale every morning. I will have to remove the scale from my bathroom and just get it out on a predetermined day. Thanks for the feedback.

Good morning! I am 9 days post-op and started to be able to get in and out of bed and off lower chairs without pain at about day 6 or 7. I haven't taken pain medication since day 6 and am feeling great now, so don't worry you will be feeling better sooner than you think. Good luck!

No matter how old I am, I always try to pull it together and look professional at work. Most of the time I succeed. Today I failed. Usually I am the youngest person in the office (really isn’t saying much now that I am in my mid-thirties) which in itself lowers my credibility. The over achiever in me also plays into this. Stress can come at you full force, or in little pieces building up. Effective stress relief is a requirement in life. I am in serious need of finding a new tool. When I was in college, I would hit tennis balls as hard as I could against the backboard. After I hurt my knee, I would go shopping. Then I would have buyers remorse and return stuff. After shopping it was baking and eating it. No chocolate for me today = tears. I saw this coming a few weeks ago when my eyelid twitch returned. The last time I had a twitch I was in college and the doctor’s resolution was to be less stressed. Ha good one! Furloughs…Potential RIF…spouses inconsistent pay…rental house…weight loss…pending surgery…knee pain…work project…3 hours in the ER…then a phone call that resulted in tears. The phone call in itself should not have resulted in me crying, but alas I had reached my breaking point. It is really unfortunate that I work in a cubicle and someone can walk up at anytime, like my boss. Everyday is a new day. Just have to hope tomorrow is a better one. Also need to find a contractor to remove the brick wall from my cubicle. Next up on the to do list: Research stress relief techniques. Need to be prepared next time. Have any suggestions? (Other than food, shopping, or alcohol.)

Thanks. Things are looking up. I decided to take a little me time after the surgery. I think it is well deserved and I didn't want to be stressed while healing. Although I do have to admit that I have been guilted in to working part time. Darn work ethic.

September has been a crazy busy month! I am actually looking forward to my surgery, so I can rest. I am a person that strives to do everything, even when there isn't enough time. I had to admit defeat this month and miss out on a family wedding. I was disappointed that I didn't get to celebrate my cousin's marriage to his beautiful bride and spend the day with family. However, I spent the day out at a little airport with my husband and a group of his students. Although it rained most of the day and the days plans were ruined, it was still a good day. Watching how passionate everyone is about aviation was quite a sight. There was a group of atleast 50 people that sat around inside just waiting for the weather to clear for about 6 hours. Optimism was abundant and the pure passion they all have for aviation was abundant. My husband’s passion for aviation is unwavering, job losses, uncaring bosses, he just keeps driving on. Recently he said to me, “If you loved being an engineer half as much as I love being an aircraft mechanic, you would have so much fun.” Where does my passion lie? Sure I am an engineer, mostly because I was good at math. Did I choose to be an engineer? No, my dad thought I would be good at it. There are days that I absolutely love my job and many where it is just a job. What I really love is helping people. Last night when I was walking back to my hotel from dinner, I gave a dollar to an older gentleman in a doorway. I know, you shouldn’t give money to beggars as they usually buy alcohol or drugs with it. It really wasn’t about the dollar, I was nice to him, told him to have a nice evening and his face lit up. I had just watched a man and his children completely ignore the older gentleman. Amazing how a bit of kindness can brighten someone’s day and your own. I do love helping people when I do my job, just need to find more days where I love it. My surgery is in 9 days. One class to finish, a Piper's Barkery event at a dog fair and one work day to survive! I know I can do it! Ready for the next chapter in my life. I will then have 3 ½ weeks off from work to recuperate. Hope I can do a little self-reflection and rediscover my passion in life.

Thanks. Unfortunately I can't exercise much as I have a injured knee from college sports. I do need to go back to logging my food, just to be sure I am not consuming more calories than I think. Nutritionist gave me a goal of 1700 calories.

I have 2 weeks until my pre-op appointment and my surgeon says that I need to have lost 10 lbs. I really struggle losing weight, hence why I am having surgery. Last year I lost about 30 lbs by taking a prescription appitite suppresant, injections and a low carb diet over 5 months. I have been eating no/low carb for 2 weeks and haven't lost any weight. I am so frustrated with this requirement. The nurse told me that he would not do the surgery if I haven't lost 10 lbs by the surgery date. I do have 2 weeks after the appointment until my surgery. But this is adding to my stress level as my mom is coming for the surgery and I have already asked for the time off of work. I am considering going on the liquid diet now in hopes that I can lose the 10 lbs. Can I survive for 4 weeks on it? Has anyone else struggled with the pre-surgery weight loss requirement?

Have you ever looked in the mirror and thought, "I look good"? ....then.....you see a picture of yourself in that outfit and words just can't express how unflattering it really is. Image perception is what you see in the mirror. Your brain tricks you into seeing what you perceive yourself to look like instead of reality. Some people have a true disorder involving distorted image perception – body dysmorphia. When I was in high school, I thought I was fat. When I looked in the mirror I saw a thick chunky girl. I look back at pictures of myself at 15 or 16 and I was not fat. Truth is I looked like a healthy teenager, not like the "anorexic" ideal. This is an issue that you often hear talked about in regards to anorexics and bulimics seeing a distorted image of themselves. In movies they compare it to looking in a funhouse mirror. Recently I have noticed that I have the opposite issue. When I look in the mirror, I don’t see size 22 Kristina. I see size 16 Kristina. For some reason my brain is in denial about all the weight I have gained. My distorted image doesn’t really look that bad. I see a picture and it is shocking. That isn’t what I look like, that outfit looked good on me. My clothes are shrinking in the wash, no I have gained weight. See a picture here: http://www.verticalsleevetalk.com/gallery/image/22606-image-perception/ Is image perception what causes all the funny Walmart pictures? We all wonder how people can think they look good when they look a hot mess. In all seriousness, I am worried about image perception after the surgery. Am I going to see myself the same? Will I still think I look fat after I lose weight?

Just got scheduled for October 2nd! Good luck to all of you!

I had a nasal endoscopy. Fully awake with just a numbing spray used in the nose and throat. Wouldn't have been bad at all if I didn't have a highly sensitive gag reflex. Once it was in there was just some pressure and I could even see the screeen which was cool.

I am have switched to primarily using truvia. Sorbital messes up my GI tract, aspartame causes inflamation and tingly hands. Good luck!

Firstly, this is my first blog ever! I have thought about blogging for a while, but just never saw the point. I decided to go ahead and create a blog now because I would like to record a history of my weight loss journey. ***WARNING*** I will be using brutal honesty. To be honest this is no where near the beginning of my journey. I have been battling my weight since I was a teenager. Some of my attempts were successful in the short term. Some were healthy choices. Some were not. Probably the most embarrassing things to admit to is buying illegal diet pills, throwing up and taking laxatives (that didn't last long). I have always wanted to be skinny, but my body has not always cooperated with me. After countless diets, diet books, diet pills, and meal plans, I have decided to get the gastric sleeve. GASP.....did I just say that I am getting weight loss surgery? Yes, I did. The decision to have surgery is not one I made lightly. What I am choosing is to be healthier and to hopefully live a long fulfilling life. I am not taking the easy way out. I do not believe there is an "easy button" for weight loss or a healthy lifestyle. I previously decided to only tell a few people that I was considering surgery as I did not want to be judged. I will be judged, but that is OK. What I do ask for is acceptance and support. I just received my approval by the insurance company and a surgery date has been scheduled. That sure brought some mixed emotions: anxiety, failure, and excitement. Anxiety of what is to come. Failure in my attempts to lose weight on my own. Excitement that I am opening a new chapter in life. So October 2nd it is!

I also do not eat artificial sweetners as I am allergic to Aspartame and am concerned about the initial post-op diet. I did find a recipe to make jello with Stevia. It is flavored with koolaid, so it still has chemicals, but gives an option other than broth and juice. I tried it this week and it turned out well.

SuzieQ - I see we have the same surgeon. I am still in the pre-op stage of satisfying insurance requirements. I would love to get together sometime. I know there is a support group through the Drs office, but I am not a fan of formal things like that. I live in Madison.