Carlene

The seminar I attended was a presentation by the surgeon and question/answer session. Also they handed out information flyers. There was no one-on-one at all, as far as weighing, filling out forms, etc.

This is going to be an uphill battle, since WLS, even for morbid obesity, is specifically excluded. I don't personally know anyone who was approved when the policy contained a specific exclusion like this one. But the appeal process is free, so I would definitely take advantage of it. I had to appeal twice to get my DH's fills paid for (UHC), even though they paid for the surgery and the first year of fills with no problem. Sometimes the people you get on the phone are morons. I had one young woman "explain" to me that my husband's fills were no longer covered because "he is no longer morbidly obese". "And you would know that how?" I asked her. Her answer was because he had Lap Band surgery! Somewhere a villge is missing its idiot...obviously.

That's a HUGE amount for meds. Are you paying that much while she lives with you? I would talk to her doctor about generics. Also, is that after her Medicare Part D pays, or before? If she qualifies for Medicaid they will pick up her entire drug bill but it has to be on their formulary, or pre-approved. They won't pay for just any prescription the doctor writes. My DH has a friend who just put his wife in one of the nicest nursing homes in our area. It is $5000 per month and she has to have total care as she recently fell and broke her pelvis. Medicare is paying for the first 90 days 100%. She has only been there a few days and is already going downhill. She has suddenly become incontinent (according to the home) and now they have her in diapers. They also have her totally drugged up. Her husband thinks this is the "beginning of the end" (he hasn't visited her yet, at the home's suggestion) but I think it's just typical of nursing home care - drug them and diaper them so they are less trouble. She's only 74.

Close....they are capiz shells.

Stephanee... I'm afraid there is no way around the minimum BMI unless you have co-morbidities (usually at least 2). Do you have asthma, high cholesterol, back or knee pain, sleep apnea, pre-Diabetes, PCOS, COPD, or anything else you can think of? If not, you may have to wait until you reach that magic 40 BMI.

My mom had surgery a year or so before she died. Of course, it couldn't be an uneventful thing. She got a staph infection and had to spend 3 weeks in isolation before she could even go to rehab. She was so not happy. Same as your mom....she complained about the food and the bed. My girlfriend's mom will be 96 next month and she keeps her at home still. She gets brief respites from her sister, but for the most part, Betsy does it all alone. The rest of her family thinks that since she doesn't have a husband, children, or granchildren, she has no life anyway, so she gets to do the lion's share. I am so in awe of her. She rarely complains and she has been doing this for the last 15 years. A funny little story.... I used to work about 5 minutes from Betsy's house, whereas she worked in the next county. She called me one day and asked if I would mind ducking out and checking on her mom. She had been calling for hours and no one answered. When I got there I found that Lois (her mom) was just fine. Yes....she heard the phone ring but when she answered it, there was no one there. She was answering the TV remote.

Shadowboxer is out on DVD and is a must rent if you like slightly off-beat movies. Cuba Gooding Jr plays a professional assassin whose partner, both in life and in crime, is Rose (played by Helen Mirren). Rose and Mikey (CG Jr) have a relationship that is both repellent and touching - tender, but disturbing. It runs the gamut from familial to erotic and back again. Rose is dying from Cancer and as a result, now believes in God. When she and Mikey go to do a job and find that one of the witnesses is an innocent, very pregnant girl in labor, Rose makes a snap decision. "We're keeping them," she says. "Rose, they aren't puppies," Mikey reminds her. But keep them they do. And the dynamics of this little family unit are intriguing. Not for children or the faint of heart. Gore is minimal (despite lots of shootings), but there is a considerable amount of sex and violence. Mirren does not appear unclothed, which is just as well. Cuba Gooding Jr bares his adorable little round tush and there is a brief shot of a condom-covered penis.

And you would know this how???? What exactly does "make Iraq better" mean???

Excellent points, Green. I know many people who swore they would leave and never look back if their spouses cheated. When push came to shove, however, many of them stayed and tried to work thru it. Some of the ones who left told me later that they wished they hadn't. One woman said to me, "What did I gain? I left and she got my husband with the big income and my really nice house - all by default. I should at least have made her fight for it!"

This is the key to all those "will my health insurance cover the Lap Band" questions. Every company offers a wide variety of policies. Your UHC (or other brand) coverage will most likely NOT be like anyone else's unless you work for the same company. My UHC is thru the company my husband retired from - American Airlines. They are self-insured and UHC only administers the benefits. So what's convered/not covered is determined by AA - not UHC. They did cover the band, by the way. My entire out-of-pocket was less than $1,000. They only paid about 50% on the psych evaluation (he wasn't in network) and they didn't pay on the nutritionist at all, plus we had the usual co-pay, etc.

Kari... I do agree that cheating is the worst thing one spouse can do to another. Legally speaking, however, marriage is not a religious sacrament. It is, by definition, a civil union. Many people choose not to include the traditional "forsaking all others, for better or worse, til death do us part" in their civil vows. I cannot speak to those types of marriages and what the participants promised or didn't promise. (Some women still promise to "love, honor and obey"....not me.) My wedding vows were between us, as a couple, and God. I promised my husband and my God that I would be faithful "as long as we both shall live". Anyone who makes that promise should be prepared to keep it. But I think that gays marry straight people for all the wrong reasons, and they know going into the marriage that it's a sham. That's why I think it's somewhat different when a gay man cheats (with another man) on his straight wife. There was never a time when he was 100% committed to that relationship.

You did not irritate me at all. Your post just made me think about how much I would love to trade places with you for even a day. After your mom is gone, you will feel the same way. No matter what kind of relationship you have with her, no matter how difficult it may be or how many sacrifices you have to make as she grows older, you are NEVER ready to lose your mother. My brother was my mom's "favorite", and he was worthless as far as taking care of her, or even visiting, etc. When I called him from the hospital and told him she was in ICU and if he wanted to see her before she died, he should come that night, his response was, "You know how I feel about hospitals." I was so angry at him. But about a month previous he had called me and asked if I knew what was in her will. I wanted to say, "Of course....and you will get exactly what you deserve." He didn't, though....he got a lot more than he deserved, if you ask me. But all he got was money. I got all of our mothers personal effects and family keepsakes. So I'm not complaining. Every special dinner, we eat off my mother's china. The gold is beginning to fade and some of the pieces are crazed, and it has to be hand washed, but I don't care. I wouldn't trade it for all the Spode or Wedgwood in the world.

Probably not a table...I'd have to be straddling it, and I'd remember that, I think. The bruises are almost on my inner thighs.

Maybe this would have been more appropriate in the form of a PM?

Douglas.... You are dating shallow girls. Expand your horizons (no pun intended). I have noticed that people often have unrealistic expectations when it comes to who they will date. I know a man who weighs over 300 pounds but he won't date fat women. Instead, he prefers to get his chops busted by thin blondes, 10 years younger than himself. I introduced my overweight girlfriend, who is 60, to a nice gentleman (also overweight) of 62. She turned up her nose. She wants a younger man, "in better health" (translation: not fat). Good luck with that one, dear. They all want the same thing. The pretty blind girl is holding out for a boyfriend who has no physical imperfections. Few young stud muffins are going to be interested, however. Unless she's an heiress. What a shame.

Are you saying your body sucks, Kari?

I'm celebrating the fact that I get to sleep in tomorrow.

I can play the radio.

Unfortunately, insurance companies get around that by saying you can control BP, reflux, and cholesterol with meds. Do they allow more than 2 appeals? I would go as high as I could with their appeal process. After that, your options are pretty much limited to self pay.:think

I was my mother's caregiver. She had Parkinson's Disease - the type that causes not only the involuntary movements of the upper body, but the type that also results in dementia, paranoia, etc. And she had severe Osteoporosis - so bad that her spine was crumbling with stress fractures and she couldn't wear her dentures because the bone in her lower jaw was just gone. Obviously, she could only walk very short distances, with the aid of a walker. When my mom got so bad she couldn't be left alone at all, I hired people to stay with her while I was at work, and for several nights each week. The rest of the time, I took care of her. I did her laundry, and my own. I cooked for my family, plus whatever my mother wanted to eat at that particular moment in time. I changed the litter box for her 2 cats, did all her shopping, and ran all her errands. My family and I did all her yard work, as well. I had a job, a husband, and 4 children, but no life of my own. I could not go on a vacation, or even a weekend trip. I thought I was going to have to miss my son's wedding rehearsal because it was on Friday night and I didn't have a sitter for my mom. I treasure the things I have that were my mother's. Every time I open her recipe box, I see all those little index cards covered with her handwriting. I couldn't have cared less about the money, but I would have fought for that recipe box. Now my mother-in-law lives with me. She is almost 87 and I take care of her, although she's in great shape for a woman her age (but almost deaf as a post). I know a little bit about caring for the elderly. It's not a lot of fun, I agree. But I can close my eyes and feel my mother's hand on my forehead when I was sick. She was a single mom - divorced from my alcoholic father when I was 5 years old. She raised us by herself. She was a teacher, but she worked two jobs most of my childhood, and she took in ironing to pay for my dancing lessons. My brother, who did absolutely nothing as far as caring for our mother, got the same inheritance as I did, by the way.

Oh, my...how quickly we forget. Bill Clinton was vilified by all the talking heads for ordering bombing raids on Iraq. Remember the phrase "trying to wag the dog"? Remember all the Republicans screaming, "He's a madman. He's trying to start a war with Iraq." Now he's a coward for not doing MORE? Please...use a little consistency. Maybe because Iraq had NOTHING to do with 9/11? My kid was over there....TWICE. So don't even go there. Did you "get out" when Clinton was in office? Will you "get out" if the Democrats win in 2008 and bring the troops home? To suggest that everyone must happily go along with whatever the President (any President) proposes or leave their homeland is absolutely ludicrous. Grow up. We started under the pretext of WMD. There were none....not then, not now. So why are we still there? Oh, that's right. Now we are "liberating" Iraq. Now we are the referee in a holy war that doesn't concern us. That's what we should spill American blood to finish? Bullshit. Thank Bush for WHAT? For "defending" us against a country that never made a single threatening gesture toward the US? For costing us the respect of the entire world? I don't think so. Yeah, well....I'm sure they feel the same way about you. At last....something we agree on!!! YES!!!! GO BUSH....GO AWAY!!!!!!!

I'm not sure I agree with you, Kari. A homosexual man who marries a woman isn't spiritually married to begin with. Legally they are married, yes, but it's not a sacramental union. And it's grounds for annulment in the church and in civil court. Back in the 50's and 60's most gay men got married to prove to themselves and society that they weren't really gay. How sad. Everybody loses....nobody wins.

I know a woman who married her high school sweetheart, only to find out several years and a daughter later that he was gay. She has since remarried and he has a partner. These two people still love and care about each other, but he was never in love with her. He lied to her, to himself, and to the world at large because he wanted to conform. He really did. And no one ever tried harder to "choose" a hetrosexual lifestyle. Homosexuality chooses you, not the other way around.

I don't take iron and wondered if that could be the cause. I'm not even very good about taking my vitamin. One of the many reasons I did not have bypass surgery. I would have died from not taking my supplements. I've also been having cramps in my legs at night.

No...my husband is a light sleeper and he would know, even if I didn't. I'm not a drinker, either. (I understand that people who consume large quantities of alcohol bruise easily.)