Healthygal

Getting winded tying my shoes, feeling a little out of breath when I just roll over fast in bed, having been told by my doc NOT to get diabetes due to a past cardiac issue...and knowing I was already prediabetic...feeling so many things were off limits to me. Having people come up and ask me if I was "expecting" again, and having to laugh (faking being okay with it, like you do, you know?) and say, "No, I'm just fat." Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. ....
I never get anything done. We have two stories in our home and I actually don't do anything in the second story because of having to climb the stairs! I feel like a sack of potatoes with no shape. Clothes shopping is pointless because nothing looks good on me anyway, so I have taken to wearing whatever big t-shirt I tossed on the floor from yesterday...
There are a million reasons I want to get this done. I have done the diet and exercise bit, and there isn't enough life left to live to waste on that nonsense anymore.

Getting winded tying my shoes, feeling a little out of breath when I just roll over fast in bed, having been told by my doc NOT to get diabetes due to a past cardiac issue...and knowing I was already prediabetic...feeling so many things were off limits to me. Having people come up and ask me if I was "expecting" again, and having to laugh (faking being okay with it, like you do, you know?) and say, "No, I'm just fat." Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. ....
I never get anything done. We have two stories in our home and I actually don't do anything in the second story because of having to climb the stairs! I feel like a sack of potatoes with no shape. Clothes shopping is pointless because nothing looks good on me anyway, so I have taken to wearing whatever big t-shirt I tossed on the floor from yesterday...
There are a million reasons I want to get this done. I have done the diet and exercise bit, and there isn't enough life left to live to waste on that nonsense anymore.

Getting winded tying my shoes, feeling a little out of breath when I just roll over fast in bed, having been told by my doc NOT to get diabetes due to a past cardiac issue...and knowing I was already prediabetic...feeling so many things were off limits to me. Having people come up and ask me if I was "expecting" again, and having to laugh (faking being okay with it, like you do, you know?) and say, "No, I'm just fat." Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. ....
I never get anything done. We have two stories in our home and I actually don't do anything in the second story because of having to climb the stairs! I feel like a sack of potatoes with no shape. Clothes shopping is pointless because nothing looks good on me anyway, so I have taken to wearing whatever big t-shirt I tossed on the floor from yesterday...
There are a million reasons I want to get this done. I have done the diet and exercise bit, and there isn't enough life left to live to waste on that nonsense anymore.

Moms are just scared for us, that's all. It's in the job description to freak out over anything that might hurt their baby...even if their baby is 45, like me! Therefore, I am not telling my mother. I know what she'll do, and I don't need that kind of misery. I am capable of looking at the pros and cons and deciding for myself. My husband knows, and agrees that it's something I probably need to do at this point, but it scares him, too. Of course it's scary...I know that. I will probably never tell my mother...ever. Or anyone at work, because it's none of their business. If anyone asks me what I'm doing (and I'm sure they will) I will just say I am doing good things for my health now, eating well, working out, and made some positive changes in things to help my success. None of that will be a lie...they just don't need to know everything. Hugs to moms...I am one myself and would be scared for my kids...but in the end we are all responsible for making ourselves happy. Sometimes that means shutting out negativity and criticism, even from mom.

Wow, that's really medically unethical. Next time tell the nurse she's fired and let them assign you to someone else with a brain. I am speaking as a registered nurse. K+ is typically run at the rate the patient can tolerate. It's nasty.

Maybe this was a bit impulsive, but an ad for Zulily came across my screen today, and I decided to take a look. BEAUTIFUL stuff. Okay, but NONE in my size (such has been the story of my life...you understand, I know). I thought, well, you are going to have this surgery sometime in October, why not pick out a couple of things that you absolutely salivate over and use them as an incentive? Now, in the past when I have done this, it was a waste of time. I got down by 20 pounds or something and the whole thing would be done, I'd get the weight back plus some, and the outfit would be given as a gift to someone thinner. NOT ANYMORE. I know that this is a tool, and I am learning the keys to making it work while I save my money for the surgery...but with this tool I am going to make being healthy and thin my reality for the first time!
So if I start to wonder why I am doing this, or if I should cancel, or get scared and think it's not so bad just staying the way I have been my whole life, I'm going to pull out my outfits and imagine myself fitting into them, for real.
One thing, though. I couldn't make myself order anything less than a medium. I can't imagine being smaller than that, and besides, I wanted to be conservative. If I get to a small (unimaginable, and not really all that necessary for my happiness), I can always take the clothes in a bit on my sewing machine.

Maybe this was a bit impulsive, but an ad for Zulily came across my screen today, and I decided to take a look. BEAUTIFUL stuff. Okay, but NONE in my size (such has been the story of my life...you understand, I know). I thought, well, you are going to have this surgery sometime in October, why not pick out a couple of things that you absolutely salivate over and use them as an incentive? Now, in the past when I have done this, it was a waste of time. I got down by 20 pounds or something and the whole thing would be done, I'd get the weight back plus some, and the outfit would be given as a gift to someone thinner. NOT ANYMORE. I know that this is a tool, and I am learning the keys to making it work while I save my money for the surgery...but with this tool I am going to make being healthy and thin my reality for the first time!
So if I start to wonder why I am doing this, or if I should cancel, or get scared and think it's not so bad just staying the way I have been my whole life, I'm going to pull out my outfits and imagine myself fitting into them, for real.
One thing, though. I couldn't make myself order anything less than a medium. I can't imagine being smaller than that, and besides, I wanted to be conservative. If I get to a small (unimaginable, and not really all that necessary for my happiness), I can always take the clothes in a bit on my sewing machine.

Hey everyone on here. I'm in southeastern IN, but I'll be going to Cincy for my surgery with Dr. Brad Watkins. I'm nervous, and will probably have to wait for six months to do a doctor approved diet thing, but that's okay. Deep inside I know this is what I need to do, but who wants to think about what's going to be done! Not me, I'm a nurse! I do my level best not to even think about what happens during the procedure as it will just make me crazy going over the details!

As I was writing on another post about the reasons why I have decided to look into doing this-the things that I miss out on and that have happened to me because of my weight-I realized it...
I'm really going to do this.
I'm not going to put the papers in the trashcan again. I am really ready for this change. I am really ready to find new ways to deal with life than food, like walking and biking and moving so much more. I'd like to learn how to make super healthy foods for my family and to be an example to my children before they ever become fat. They sit inside all the time, and I bet if MOM was outside doing things they'd be more likely to start going outside and moving, too. I have told them DON'T GET FAT, but their diets are crap and they seldom move. They are not healthy, even though they are not fat yet.
My husband is about 40-50 pounds overweight, and I think is watching me to see what happens. I can't ever see him doing this drastic step, but if he eats healther with me and goes out and walks more, maybe he will drop some weight and we can all feel so much better.
In which case, I am not just doing this for me, but for the health and well-being of my entire family. I'm really going to do this!

Hey everyone on here. I'm in southeastern IN, but I'll be going to Cincy for my surgery with Dr. Brad Watkins. I'm nervous, and will probably have to wait for six months to do a doctor approved diet thing, but that's okay. Deep inside I know this is what I need to do, but who wants to think about what's going to be done! Not me, I'm a nurse! I do my level best not to even think about what happens during the procedure as it will just make me crazy going over the details!

BAM! That is the truth! No one will take care of you in health care. You have to do it for yourself. People wonder where nursing attitudes sometimes come from...my gosh, we have to develop that kind of attitude just to survive in this racket! Take care of YOU.

RN here, for the past 5 years. Been in solid organ transplant, med/surg, cardiopulmonary stepdown/tele, and long term care. I've decided I'm kind of worn out on the bedside care and am finishing my BSN with an eye towards nurse practitioner, probably adult/geriatric care but I could change my mind about that. I had no previous experience in medical when I went into nursing, I was a graphic artist! I've always been interested in science and the body, though, so I am now 44 because I came into it all late.
I've spent my entire life heavy. ALL of it. I was a rolly polly little girl and never stopped aside from brief times that I starved myself. I have PCOS as well. I've gained and lost the same 50-75 pounds so many times I don't even want to think about it anymore. I don't want to be "the fat one" in the room or on the staff anymore. I don't want to have dementia patients asking me when my baby is due anymore. I don't want to be tired, sweating, and having my screaming joints fighting me while I'm running up and down halls to care for 30 patients anymore. Nope. I want to have a lean, healthy body, do things I've never done before because I never had the energy, become a nurse practitioner and deal more with pathophysiology, and finally enjoy some things I never have been able to. I know it will be plenty of work, but at least I will feel that I'm getting somewhere with it rather than it being temporarily lost and will come back with more fat buddies in a few months.
I'm scared about the surgery...I'm still in the paper-processing stage. And I know I will probably be a crying mess the morning of the surgery. But I do know this is my last chance of making a real, sustainable change in my health. Otherwise, here comes diabetes, arthritis, hip replacement, cardiac issues...you name it. I mean, I know we all die of something one day, but I'd like to have lived first!!
I'm currently at 268 pounds, 5 foot 4 inches. My highest has been 281. Here's hoping for a much healthier and happier future fpr all of us.

I'm glad that it IS permanent and there is no escape cord to pull. I did South Beach twice or maybe it was three times, and WW a couple of times...when I got sick and tired of being deprived and having to count everything and weigh everything, and I got bored with it then I went back to what I had always known. I know that the first time I want to just give up and realize that I can't I will probably be surprised and some emotions will come to the surface, but then I will be glad that I have the tools to stick with my convictions. I'm glad my insurance requires a 6 month diet period, because that will give me so much time to really get prepared mentally. I can't imagine just sending in papers and doing this kind of things a few weeks later! I have spent 44 years using food for a lot of wrong reasons. It is going to take time to unlearn that and really absorb that the future for me is going to be different than it has been in the past.

A couple years ago, I believe, I made a comment about how I feared as the sleeve gained popularity, there would be less research done by folks researching this option of WLS. They only know that their friend did it and lost weight, so they are going to do it to. They never address the issues that led them to being morbidly obese and then are shocked when, post-sleeve, they cannot abuse food the way they used to. I'm afraid this is only going to be more and more prevalent as more and more people blindly get VSG.
I jumped blindly into the Atkins, South Beach, Cabbage but could easily pull the escape cord. That is not an option here. You have to know that when you get the VSG, you are going to have to make a fundamental change with your relationship with food. If you are not ready to do that, then you are not ready for the VSG.

I have not even gotten my date for this to happen for me, but I do think it's a mistake to get so wrapped up in the situation that you have to white knuckle your life away. I didn't decide to do this so I could give up every food I ever loved that wasn't the absolute best nutritional choice for me. I am choosing it because it will help me get better control. I will learn about great nutrition, but I have no illusions about me suddenly becoming perfect in my eating. I won't be. I don't even think I want to be. But I will do better and feel better and the weight will come off as it comes off. I will have a control tool, that's all...and I will learn as I go. I want to walk into this with realism.

I have not even gotten my date for this to happen for me, but I do think it's a mistake to get so wrapped up in the situation that you have to white knuckle your life away. I didn't decide to do this so I could give up every food I ever loved that wasn't the absolute best nutritional choice for me. I am choosing it because it will help me get better control. I will learn about great nutrition, but I have no illusions about me suddenly becoming perfect in my eating. I won't be. I don't even think I want to be. But I will do better and feel better and the weight will come off as it comes off. I will have a control tool, that's all...and I will learn as I go. I want to walk into this with realism.

I have not even gotten my date for this to happen for me, but I do think it's a mistake to get so wrapped up in the situation that you have to white knuckle your life away. I didn't decide to do this so I could give up every food I ever loved that wasn't the absolute best nutritional choice for me. I am choosing it because it will help me get better control. I will learn about great nutrition, but I have no illusions about me suddenly becoming perfect in my eating. I won't be. I don't even think I want to be. But I will do better and feel better and the weight will come off as it comes off. I will have a control tool, that's all...and I will learn as I go. I want to walk into this with realism.

Madam -- As a stirrer of pots, you are easily one of my favorite people on this here board. It would be so fun to meet you IRL, but the fact that you exclaim "BALLS" and I say "y'all" leads me to believe we're a world apart, geographically speaking.
I fully intend to be sleeved and eat disgusting things from time to time. Balance is what I'm after. I will fully embrace "bad eating" now and again, and have no plans to whine -- not even once.

I likened it to children spitting their dummies out and throwing their toys out of the pram. They're elected for a higher purpose - to serve the people. Not to whinge and whine and disable the country. El-tosseurs....

I agree with you Madam Reverie. The, "I have lost 26lbs in a month and the scale has not moved in 2 weeks" posts are like nails on a chalkboard for me. I personally do not own a scale or plan on buying one. I will base my comfort on the way my clothes fit and my overall happiness. I cannot live my life weighing in every day. Misery does not love company in my house!
:wub: peace out!

I am yet to be sleeved (October 22nd), but I give everyone on this forum permission to slap me silly if I ever waste your time with either of the following posts:
1. Dreaded 3 week stall (what should I do?)
2. I have not lost weight in 2 days HELP!

I know where you are coming from. I had to have an implantable defibrillator placed 12 years ago due to a heart condition. I KNEW I have to have that thing put in, to protect my health...and yet I threw up all the way to the hospital out of fear. Surgery is just scary. This will be a surgery that I CHOSE to go into , and that is even scarier! Right now it doesn't seem REAL, as I'm submitting paperwork and getting things lined up. When they tell me when I'm supposed to come to the hospital, I fully expect that I will be terrified and throw up all the way there.
I also know this...I am tired of being fat. I have ALWAYS been fat. As I age, now 44, my body hurts and aches. I feel awful and I look awful. I'm prediabetic, and I had a heart issue that I've healed from but I'm asking an awful lot of that same heart trying to lug around too much. There is rheumatoid arthritis in my family, and I'm doing my body no favors carrying this much weight. The future only holds more pain, more mobility problems, more sadness over how I look and feel, and probably a shorter life span.
I'm going to hold those thoughts in my head even as I throw up all the way to the hospital.
Hang tough!
Cara

I answered this one awhile back, but I have a new one. I work as a registered nurse in a nursing home and there are several pregnant staff members there. The staff regularly talks with the elderly residents about their babies and when they are due. They will look at me when I come into their room, pat my stomach and say, "How is your baby doing?" I have had that happen three times. Enough is enough. I know it's an honest mistake, but it does hurt. When I tell them my youngest baby is at home and 12 years old, they are mortified, but I just laugh. Then I slink away from the room, moping.

I LOVE that....walking into your healing. I'm going to think of that when my surgery day comes!
Cara

I LOVE that....walking into your healing. I'm going to think of that when my surgery day comes!
Cara