SleeveBeliever

I am pretty new to all of this, but I have never been more sure of a decision in my entire life. Many people at my job have had either the sleeve or bypass, and are happy with their decision. This is my story: I am pre-op--haven't even been to the doctor yet. My seminar date is 2/21, and I CAN'T WAIT!! I am female, 45 years old, 5ft 6in., 236lbs., BMI of 38.1. I would have this surgery tomorrow if I could! I am sooo ready to get this weight off me. I was not always heavy. In my teens, I was in the 120s. In my early 20s, I was around 130-150lbs. My weight has always fluctuated. By the time I was 30, I was 170-180lbs and getting very uncomfortable with my weight. By my mid-30s, I was around 200lbs. Once in my 40s, I stayed at 226 for about 3 years, until this last year, where I am now 236 and FED UP. As I get older, the weight keeps coming on, and my energy level is almost non-existent. I have high blood pressure. In 2009, I lost approximately 35 pounds. I got down to 192. I was feeling FANTASTIC!! Then, within a year, I packed all the weight back on plus more, and my blood pressure was severely out of whack. It took me a solid year to get it back in check. I was having nosebleeds, and had to see a cardiologist because my heart rate was irregular, and I had developed a murmur. After many tests on my heart, everything was ok, except my left ventricle was slightly enlarged and not closing all the way, causing the murmur. I was put on an ace inhibitor to correct my hpb as well as, my heart irregularities. My father passed away at only 52 years old in his sleep. He was diagnosed with congestive heart failure at only 48 years old and told he had 5 years to live. He lived 4 years to the day. My father wasn't a large man--far from it. He was 5ft 11in and 180lbs. It runs in my family. And being obese on top of it scares the heck out of me! I have only told a few people about my plan to have this surgery. I think my older sister--who has no idea what it is to be overweight, because she is 150lbs and thinks she's "fat" --will give me a hard time about it, but I have to do what makes me happy and, more importantly, healthy. I am so tired of the lack of energy, the hbp pills, the joint aches and pains, the fear of a premature death and/or massive heart attack, the feeling of being out of control with food, the fear of the future weight gains, and the humiliation of being overweight. I just want to be normal again! Sure, I have anxiety over some things that are involved with this surgery--complications, losing most of my stomach, the inability to have certain food for the rest of my life, but the yearning for being healthy and thin far outweigh all of the anxiety. The morning of my surgery, I'm sure I will be terrified, because I am a chicken when it comes to things like that! But I realize it is the means to an end, and the beginning of a new and better life, and a chance to one day be able to see my grandchildren (when my daughter has them!) Those are the things that make this worth it to me. I am so thankful to have this forum and the support of all you wonderful people that understand my journey and are willing to share your stories. Many of your have helped me so much so far. I am getting a wealth of information from the real people that have been there through each step, and for that, I am beyond thankful! We are all in this together! God bless us all for having the courage to undertake such an endeavor! :wub: