docbree

Please share!
Today I took a bike ride.
How long I've neglected my body and pretended it didn't exist. I hid it and was ashamed of it. I put it behind closed doors and fed it garbage and didn't move it. I pumped it full of pharmaceuticals and acted like it wasn't part of me. My spirit was dying and I didn't care.
I didn't understand that my body and my spirit are connected. Until I began to care for my body and heal it, I had no interest in healing my spirit. I only cared about how I felt at any given moment. If I felt nervous, I had to fix my nervousness. If I felt happy, I had to pump up my happiness so it wouldn't end. I didn't understand that these reactive impulses were not benefiting me. They were survival techniques but I didn't know I was merely surviving from one feeling to another.
Today I look at and care for and watch and pamper and plan for and decorate and embrace my body. I find myself wanting to do the same for my spirit. I'm understanding that they go together.
It's not a task on a check off list. It's a change in perception and awareness. How many times have I said that nothing will change unless everything changes? I know it in my head. Now I feel it in my body, and I sense it in my spirit.
How do you feed your soul?

I still stick by my previous post where I said there are some demeaning, rude and hurtful comments that are sometimes (rarely) posted on this site. That having been said, I completely agree with VSGAnn2014 in this case. There were quite a few responses to Scared and all of them were considerate and helpful (IMHO). Just my two cents worth

Didn't really mean to make this a debate sorry, it is all in the way we read things. It's all good. We al perceive things differently.

I still stick by my previous post where I said there are some demeaning, rude and hurtful comments that are sometimes (rarely) posted on this site. That having been said, I completely agree with VSGAnn2014 in this case. There were quite a few responses to Scared and all of them were considerate and helpful (IMHO). Just my two cents worth

@@gmanbat - what a wonderful, informative post!

I'm 14 days post-op today. So far, my favorite pureed foods are:
1. Light scrambled eggs -
1 jumbo egg, 2 tbsp. 2% small curd cottage cheese, 1/2 oz. cheddar cheese (grated) - whipped together and cooked in microwave at 15-second intervals, stirred after each interval, until done. Takes from 1 minute - 1.5 minutes total cooking time. (15 grams protein)
2. Refried Beans -
2 oz. Rosarita nonfat traditional refried Beans, 1/2 oz. cheddar cheese - cooked in microwave for 30 seconds, which is long enough to melt the cheese and heat the beans (7 grams protein)
I'm not focused on fitting in all my Protein with my early pureed foods, but just getting my new stomach used to actual food.
I look forward to pureeing some chicken soon and adding that (with some mild salsa) to my refried beans concoction.
I also eat Dannon Greek Oikos vanilla yogurt (12 grams Protein for 5.3 ounces) and drink a daily GNC Lean 25 Swiss chocolate (25 grams).
With these and other things I've been hitting my minimum prescribed 60 grams of protein since Day Five.
One step at a time. One day at a time. Don't have to be perfect. Just keep learning.

I have a namesake for everything that is mine so I figured I just soon name my sleeve too....So Keyah Neranti (in good health victory is health) will be born soon!
I'm not sure if I am more excited than nervous. Maybe its a mix of emotions.
I have so much to do before then. My last day of work is today the 1st.
I've done all my preop requirements and such I start my clear liquid diet on Wednesday but I'm electing to start early on Tuesday apparently I have a hemorrhoids problem just discovered so I shall start the clears early in hopes to rush out all the gunk for my own sakes!
I bought gas-x, nonskid socks, tylenol, stocks, puddings, lotions, Soups, Protein mix, Vitamins, and gosh knows what else I will need. My suitcase is packed..according to the doctor I will only be there ONE DAY...WHOOOT that will be amazing! So I am bringing one set of clothes for home and an extra blankets and my pillow!
I've turned in all my paperwork to be off work, I'm paying all the bills by Wednesday, I'm washing down the entire house and santitizing from top to bottom. I'm having the car cleaned. I'm forwarding all my calls to voicemail.
I have reorganized my Keyah Neranti book - is a binder of all my paperwork, visits here and there, food requirements, and everything else surgery related. I am going to add a section to log my food for the first month until my doctors check in just in case something comes up figured I'd have it logged.
My cheering squad (my girlfriend and son) have been super supportive and are ready to be my personal on call nurses for the next four weeks. They have litterally threatened me if I try to do anything but walk! haha!
I have elected not to share any of my success with the remainder of my family as I mentioned it two years ago when I started this journey and they had negative opinions. Though I totally relate and understand their concerns at the end of the day this is for "ME" not them.
I feel like there is still something I'm missing?!
Wheww... there's alot going on talk about a merry go around of feelings - thoughts - emtions - activities!
I also colored my hair blue last week! haha I thought it would wash out a bit before surgery I will have to figure out what to do with it the day of so I don't turn everything at the hospital blue!

Well my insight into this topic is that my over eating certainly had a strong component of "messed up childhood" in my youth- I had the whole usual list of suspects (mom that used food for reward, dad who was a force feeder, emotional neglect and verbal abuse from parentd and sexual abuse by another relative) Heck I was obese by first grade. At some point I genuinely believe it became less about that and more about the physical disease of obesity. By the time I was sleeved in my late 40s I think it was like 2-5% emotional. As a brilliant woman on this forum once said "turns out I was just freaking hungry all the time"
So that is what I meant by just a shadow of the original reasons even remained and all the talk in the world didn't change that I was physically hungry.
We all have our own journey and I don't mean to discount another's experience in the least. I am just saying that for me the "reason" is old news and I am about every breath I take TODAY not what happened decades ago. I have that attitude largely because I tried the path of trying to heal inside and while I think it did help, I was still super morbidly obese!
I am quite sure that the loss if appetite thing I went through this spring, a year after I hit goal, was some of this old stuff coming up. My counselor is into more modern thinking about all this and again rather than focusing on the history focused on the now. Example, she helped me learn that it's ok to feel bad and how to rebuild some resilience around that. I honestly think it just makes it worse to dig up the dregs of old hurts. What I do think is useful is to recognize how patterns repeat in our lives like as an example I used to pick friends and that had a way of neglecting me...hmmmm. now I am much better at recognizing when someone is playing a role from my past. My counselor asked me once to think what I " get out" of relationships with people. I ask myself that question constantly now and it makes me so much more aware of healthy friendships that I should nurture and the ones that perhaps I should let die away

There's something to be said about driving ourselves batty over finding our "exact answers" to our emotional eating--as I initially commented about Roth's deep soul-searching approach. Just way too deep for some of us.
May I offer some excerpts from Alexander's great book "The Emotional First+Aid Kit" that might offer a perspective that just maybe you don't HAVE TO know WHY.
QUOTE:
It is very common to hear, "If I could just find out why I eat this way, it would be so easy to stop." Some people want to figure out why they eat for emotional reasons. The fact is, you don't need to know why in order to change. Even if you are able to get to the root of your emotional eating, that information will not usually automatically lead to change. It may be helpful to know why, and you may be very curious, but that knowledge is not of key importance to your weight loss. For most people it makes sense to skip this Quest, and proceed directly to the step of changing the habit. It is important to look at the emotions you experience when feeling out of control, but it may not be necessary to find the root of the problem in the past. It is not just how the habit started, but the repetition over many years that makes it hard to break.
. . .Expect to always feel conflict about eating. Except for the first few months after surgery, you will probably want to go back to eating your favorite foods. If you EXPECT the conflict, you can plan to deal with it and win the battle of recreational and emotional eating.
...The hard truth is that if you use food for comfort or other emotional reasons, those thoughts and cravings will probably always be there. ... Once the connections have been established between food and emotions they wiill not easily go away. They may diminish in intensity with time, but will likely be a part of your life for a very long time. You will gain confidence and control with experience, but expect to have cravings to some degree.
UNQUOTE
CGJ put it best-- learning to LIVE and ACT differently--creating day-to-day new, healthy choices is where change begins to take hold.

I buy the new crystal light true with truvia!!! Its sooooooyummy an lots of flavors! Tastes so much better than regular crystal light. No after taste,. Love love love it!!! Truvia tastes better than plain stevia, no bad aftertaste!

Gliders do some serious bonding to folks who have patience with them. They basically adopt you as a glider into their colony. A lot of ladies carry them around in their bras all day since they are nocturnal and sleep all day. They wake up occasionally and poke their heads out for a drink or snack. Makes for a lot of chest staring at work....
Their size masks the fact that they are very intelligent and emotional. I put them on a level with elephants. They are more like little people. To me it is like discovering a communication channel to the animal world. They are eccentric, unpredictable, get bored, extremely sensitive, and project what I interpret as love. They have a highly developed sense of smell, I theorize that they read the chemical changes that occur in us when our emotion changes. They are used with epilepsy sufferers to predict seizures and the pheromones they release actually alleviate the seizure. They have a calming affect on nearly everyone.
Their care takes a great deal of preparation and research. They are much more labor intensive than the monsters that peddle them at mall kiosks and flea markets lead you to believe. They suffer a lot because their cuteness causes impulse buying. A check on Craig's list reveals the aftermath of mill breeder sales: a lot of people trying to dump them and get some of their money back. Bonding takes time and patience, they are very tuned in to emotions, and they don't readily take to stupid people. They bite.
If anyone is thinking about getting sugar gliders please stay away from youtube phony vets, pocket pets, flea market salesmen, ... Go to Facebook, look up Sugar Gliders or Sugar Glider Fanatics... Real glider lovers with real knowledge and experience.

Doc bree I love that story.
My sisters neighbor had sugar gliders. He turned a whole room of his house over to them but they didn't strike me as too lovely dovey...

Sorry to continue the thread highjack, but Gmanbat - I thought you might like a little story. I'm a veterinarian, and last summer I was pulling up vaccinations to go into a room with a puppy. I kept hearing a strange "chirruping" noise, and I thought it must be a strange ringtone.
I kept hearing when I got into the room, and the owner's of the puppy acted like they didn't hear it. I finally asked what the heck that noise was, and the wife pulled a sugar glider out of her large purse - she couldn't bear to leave it home alone

I had never heard of these creatures until today. They must be incredibly charming.

Sorry to continue the thread highjack, but Gmanbat - I thought you might like a little story. I'm a veterinarian, and last summer I was pulling up vaccinations to go into a room with a puppy. I kept hearing a strange "chirruping" noise, and I thought it must be a strange ringtone.
I kept hearing when I got into the room, and the owner's of the puppy acted like they didn't hear it. I finally asked what the heck that noise was, and the wife pulled a sugar glider out of her large purse - she couldn't bear to leave it home alone

I can connect you to a friend on FB who has had those bundles of cuteness for forever if you'd like. Let me know! She'd happily answer your questions.

I have missed you folks, too. I have been sentenced to hard labor by my own blind compulsion to compensate for poor retirement planning. I am in better shape that I have ever been, rippling shoulder muscles, hard abs under the protective layer of loose skin, tired beyond any former definition of the word. I have also acquired a strange new passion. I have inherited the care of a pair of sugar gliders from my granddaughter who could no longer care for them. They are marsupials from Australia, cuter than a box of kittens, emotional, intelligent, and require the attention of a 2 year old child. Subsequently, I have spent many hours on Facebook pages doing extensive research on their proper care. My wife and I have designated a large room in our house to be their room and they are let out if their cage at least an hour a night to run, glide, and generally be gliders. It is a labor of love.
I hope to show up more in the future.

This. I love me some gman.

At times in this life we are thrust into the inescapable presence of unpleasant people: the rude clerk at the DMV, the soap-allergic olfactory offender in the grocery line, the sulphuric mother of the sweet woman you are hopelessly in love with.
Everything here is behind glass, it cannot hurt you without your permission, you can defeat any attack by the simple tap of a finger or voice command and go on unscathed with your life.
Other than regular rules moderating by hosts and admins lecturing folks on being nice is an exercise in wheel spinning. The bad people are bad so they won't listen, the good people don't need to hear it.
In my life the offensive people that I have the freedom to escape are normally dealt with by employing my best defensive tactic.... not being there. When I see their name, when I hear their voice, I occupy other space and experience other environs. My life is fraught with trouble enough without subjecting myself to self-torture.
Forums like this remind me of a guy working quality inspection on a conveyer belt of peanuts. You occasionally see a bad nut, don't eat it, put it aside, move on.

Lets keep this on rule based replies please!
Lets also remember why we are on here in the first place and that is to help one another get through the real stuff that is happening regarding WLS.
K, thanks!

Hi Rose
I was prescribed hydrocodon-acetamin but I don't take it . I will try the liquid Tylenol thanks for the advice:)
I am so bummed I can't take Advil because it's really all that touches the pain in my foot:(
But I knew this before the surgery.

So, I am 47 years old and I decided (finally) I want to live. This is new......
First, a little personal history.
In 1966 I was born significantly underweight. I almost killed my Mom when I was born (I was always a handful :-) ). She ended up having a historectemy because of it. This was the only point in my life I was underweight or normal weight. Shortly thereafter I was always "pudgy" or "stocky".
In 7th grade I plumped up even more and at 5'7" entered high school at 230lbs. I kept gaining through sophomore year up to 250lbs. I graduated High School at 270lbs. The lowest I have been since 1984 was 280. The highest was (estimated 350ish) and I was there within the last 2 years.
In 2000 I was admitted to the hospital with (BS 964 - yep and I wasn't in a coma) inability to sleep, peeing all the time, and a skin infection that was pretty nasty.....yep, diabetes T2 was with me now. I remember being prescribed a diet where I could eat 2C of raisin bran and skim milk along with some fruit.....but I digress towards a scathing diatribe about 2000's accepted dietary guidelines.
Now all along I have had high blood pressure. Pretty much since high school it was high. I, being a guy and purposefully choosing to ignore the silent things, didn't do anything about it for quite a while. In early 2011 I was fatigued and tired all the time. I had also mysteriously gained 30 lbs in about 6 weeks. So I went in to the hospital "not feeling well" and when the nurse checked my blood pressure hit the emergency call channel to have me admitted immediately (240/180 will do that).....I was in AFIB and it turns out had heart failure from Fluid build up. I lost a bunch of weight after this getting down to 290 (from 340ish), getting my heart back into sinus rhythm. According to my cardiologist he is amazed at my hearts recovery back into what is considered "normal" with my pumping ability (his words not mine) "fully recovered".
So I have Hypertension, Diabetes, Hyperlipidia, borderline Kidney issues, and gout. I am on 11 medications for hypertension and 3 meds (incl Lantus) for diabetes. My Mom had hypertension really bad all her life too, died from cancer though nothing related to the heart.
And it was just a few months ago (my ability to live in denial is EPIC) I finally woke up and said to myself "I want to live"....not just live like in living to an age, I mean actually live life like this is it and not a dress rehearsal.
So here I am scheduled for surgery on Dec 24 and a self-pay to boot (direct exclusions suck).
I am a bit scared of the surgery. I am very scared of me. My ability to live in denial and ignore things that should not be ignored is well refined and dangerous. My Mom 35 years ago has a gastric bypass and she lost 150 lbs and eventually keeping 100lbs off while using OA as her lifelong counselling until her death in recent years. My Mom's sister had the same surgery lost 100 lbs and 2 years later gained it all back plus 50 lbs.....which one am I (says my fear in my head).
I have been trying to not drink 30 min before, during or 30 min after a meal....holy crap I had no idea how much I used liquids to wash food down. This of course adds to my trepidation and general unease.
So, I want to live. I have had two major health warning shots in my life. I believe the Sleeve will aid in this life change. I am a bit scared.
Thank you for reading. Now, off to read all the good info on this site. I will share more as it happens.

I agree....let the surgeon know now so that the anestheolgist will be prepared to help manage your anxiety. My bariatric physician changed my med from Sertraline to Buproprion and doubled the dose of that by my third visit pre-op. is this your first time for surgery?
Here is what happens: Take that first bold step and show up. Then you will change into a hospital gown and go to a pre-op area where a nurse will place you IV so that they can have a place to give you fluids and insert meds, relaxers, and anesthetic as needed. You will feel a little prick.. (My first ex-husband was a little prick!) That is probably when they will give you a little "somethin' somethin') to help you mellow out kind of like a California high.
When it is time to roll out out to the operating room you will get a hug and/or kiss from your support person, then off you go for an excellent adventure......cause now you are a little loopy and don't really care. You are rolled next to the operating table and the nursing staff transfers you over.
So there you are staring at the ceiling lights and the anesthesiolgist will ask you chit chatty questions or ask you to count backward from 100. So you count 100, 99, 98, 97...........wake up, hello, wake up...hey you're done...you did just fine! Then you are taken to your room and transferred to you bed.
Then hard part is over. You made that decision to take control of your health and are now committed to becoming a healthier happier you. And you have a new birthday where you get that second chance to start over. Congratulations.
Now, here is a quote that has helped me get through hard times and critical decisions. It helped me to leave a horrible diagnosed psycho-sociopath who had taken control of my life. It helped me decide to go back to collage at the age of 54 to finish a degree program that I had started in 1971. And it helped me decide to investigate bariatric surgery and go for it.
Here it is, and I wish you good luck and good health:
"Whatever you can do, or dream you can.........begin it. For boldness has genius, power, and magic in it." Wolfgang Von Goethe

This is just my two cents...I would tell my friend that I'm bothered by her lack of support and would prefer not to discuss weight, fitness or food....but really want to continue the friendship (if you do) as long as those topics are off the table. It might be that she is jealous or there could be a bajillion reasons she is not able to be supportive...key thing is you don't have to figure that out...that is her problem...
On the flip side...you go girl! Rah Rah for you! You are an amazing person and will do things in your own time and your own way. As long a you are following drs orders you are accountable only to yourself! Consider me a cheerleading squad...but please don' ask me to do a literal back flip...it would be dangerous

Here are my quick stats:
Lap-Band in Monterrey, Mexico in 2003. Over 11 years I lost 100 pounds and gained back 40.
Revision to Gastric Sleeve in Las Vegas August 5, 2014
When I was first researching about a revision surgery and the sleeve, I read about so many complications. I learned a lot about what could happen. For those of you who are debating surgery, here is my success story:
My experience has been great. I have NO REGRETS. I had my revision surgery from the lap-band to a gastric sleeve in one operation. In fact, it was done as an outpatient. I arrived at the hospital at 6am and was on my couch recovering at about 4:30 pm.
Since the first day I was able to drink Water and a ready-made Protein Shake. It was slow drinking, but had no issues. I took my pain medication for 2 days, only because I was scared that if I didn't take them, I would have pain. I didn't. I would say the worst pain I felt on a scale of 1-10 was about a 4. I slept on my side after about 3 nights. I took a shower the day after my surgery and walked a lot. On about day 3 I got the gas pains, but took Gas X and they only were bad for about an hour. I had no problem getting in my 60 grams of Protein - in fact, I usually had 80 grams (2 shakes and one powders? utm_source=BariatricPal&utm_medium=Affiliate&utm_campaign=CommentLink" target="_ad" data-id="1" >unjury chicken Soup broth)
On day 10, my Protein Shakes started to disagree with me - well, my intestines disagreed with them! As soon as I started drinking, I could feel my intestines filling with water and would have to run to the bathroom. TMI I know, but it happened.
14 days after surgery at my 2 week follow up appointment, I told my doc that the protein shakes were giving me issues and his response was to stop drinking them and "let's get you on solid foods." I haven't had one since (almost 2 weeks ago). Since then, I have been eating real food and I feel great! I have mostly had softer foods like deli turkey or eggs but last night I had salmon and it was great.
I feel better today 25 days after surgery than I have felt in the last 2 years. I have lost 25 pounds but it must look like more because everyone I see is asking me if I have lost weight (I don't think I look like I have, but that's another issue.....) I have energy like never before. I sleep better. I feel "normal" when I go out to eat. I sometimes want the junk, but I am able to resist. My stomach has NEVER growled and I don't feel hungry. Sometimes I feel "empty," but I can wait to eat.
I am a boring patient. I LOVE being boring! Anyone else out there proud to be boring?