CaseyMichigan

Oh Casey I just want to send you a hug.
I too had complications (and highly don't recommend a stint by the way) and had the PIC line, feeding tube, blah blah blah....I did it all while they tried to repair my damaged body. I'm left with a smaller stomach because of the damage done to the tissue sadly. This is fine now while I try to lose weight, but my current doctor is concerned about my long term ability to get proper nourishment. He feels that I likely won't be able to ever consume a cup of food in a sitting. The reality of that concerns me as I was hoping not to have to rely on Protein drinks for the rest of my life...it's why I didn't have the "Big" surgery you are hoping to avoid.
food wasn't a crutch for me so I didn't go through some of the psychological issues you are facing, but I do remember well the long period of time without ANY Fluid or foods...gad wiping your mouth off with a sponge is not a great way to live! The first sip of tepid tea I took was like nectar of the gods LOL
I was telling Sannah (another complication survivor) that towards the end of my torture I found enough hope to look forward. That was hard to find at my worst. I wasn't sure I was going to live let alone eat again, so moving beyond that fear into the world of a solution was a huge step. It might not feel that way now, but you obviously do have a handle on what the problem is (first step!) and you've made some decisions on how to move forward (PIC etc). Sure those aren't easy and I'm sure you feel like you are so far back you'll never catch up, but you are taking steps forward which is the right way to travel dear.
I was down for over two months, unable to care for my child, or even myself. It was slow coming back but today (four and a half months later) my life is relatively normal (if under 800 cals a day and less than half a cup at a time is "normal" LOL). I have only that long term worry to consider dealing with in the future, but worst case, it's something I can deal with (our son has a feeding disorder and we've been supplementing calories for years so I know how). I eat out, have dinner at friends, enjoy a glass of champagne on occasion and wine on more occasions. I'm slimmer but still me. You are going to get there, it's just a very slow road sadly. I'm sure that not only are you suffering from the complication, but your heart and mind are suffering as well. It's hard HARD to deal with medical procedures on a daily basis. It's physically and mentally draining. The pain never seems to leave and that beats you down, coupled with not enough nutrition and you are fighting to survive every second. It's hard to not wonder if this is forever....it's not darling. It seems like it!!!! But it's not.
Baby steps hun. And if it helps to write down your worries and anger and whatever you need to share....do it here. The people here were instrumental to my success. I told them all of the stuff I didn't want to worry my family with. Cried with them, laughed, the whole drill and it did help.
Hugs!!!!!

I didn't realize how much "eating" has been my "comfort." Have you ever noticed how many food commercials are on tv? Or food shows? I have to find something else for "comfort" now - and I feel like I have gone "cold turkey" (no pun intended). I'm only 1 1/2 months out and it has not been what I thought it would. I am hoping I have not traded "quality of life" for a skinner, healthier self... The last few weeks have been a total WTF moment. Guess I'm going thru food withdrawal.

Hang in there. I had surgery May 17, 2012, was in hospital 9 days and had to go back weekly. for about 2 months for IV fluids as I was dehydrated. Couldn't keep much down. I had 4 endoscopic stretches over the first 2 -3 months and finally started doing better. Just want you to know, I now have no regrets. I have lost a total of 161 pounds including 54 pounds lost pre op. Early on I had the same feelings of regret that you are having, but I want you to know that not only do I not regret the surgery, I think its the second best thing I've ever done. Going to therapy to prepare for this surgery was the first best thing as I know I would not have been successful had I skipped that step. I hope you will soon be done with the complications and miserable times and begin to enjoy the many benefits and pure joy and amazement that I feel as I watch my body change and my health improve each day. Sending prayers and.positive thoughts your way for strength to get through this awful time and fast healing and recovery.

I am so sorry you are having a hard time. I had a leak that changed my life.
I totally agree that complications of all kinds need to be addressed more even at the seminars. But it is unlikely to happen, their goal is to get people in and not scare them away. I researched this surgery for two years and thought I was prepared. But I was more ignorant than I realized.
i am seeing a counselor bc it is hard to get over this angry/ sad/ impatient I just want my life back feeling. It does help to talk to someone. Family and friends get tired of hearing about your issues after a while.
I will keep you in my prayers. One day at a time. It will get better.
Holly
Sent from my iPhone using VST

Also thinking of you & hoping you start to feel better soon. Although I didn't experience what you are going through, I have heard it does get better & know that we are all here to help you get through this tough period....

I had hyperemisis with both of my pregnancies and have had zero problems with nausea or vomiting. I am so so sorry you are going through this. I wish you nothing but the best and I hope that you keep us updated with your progress.

I hope your feeling better soon. I need to investigate the procedure more I guess.

I don't have any advice to offer, but I wanted you to know I am thinking about you and praying for you to heal.

It has been a little over a week since I underwent the sleeve. Wondering what the heck I have done to myself. I can't find a Protein I can tolerate. All the dairy protein whey's make me want to puke. Which Is so weird because I was able to tolerate them presurgery. Now the simple smell makes me go BLAHHHH. I have tried the green tea Isopure and it tastes like dirty socks smells... I was so excited about a new start, a healthier me - but now I feel lethargic and uncertain that I made a wise decision. I can't seem to hold anything down in my stomach - except chicken broth. My sense of smell is like when I was pregnant and everything is intensified. I am down 26 lbs (that includes the 10 lbs pre surgery). I am a very optimistic person - yet I just don't know what to do... Yesterday I called my dietitian and she spoke with my surgeon who said even though it is early, I could try pureed chicken or tuna. So I tried tuna and my stomach felt like I had "quick sand in it." Between the cramping and reflex. It feels like so much longer than a week and a day. HELP. Feeling trapped in a body I'm unfamiliar with...

CaseyMichigan i think we ar twins. Everything you are going through so am I

It has been a little over a week since I underwent the sleeve. Wondering what the heck I have done to myself. I can't find a Protein I can tolerate. All the dairy protein whey's make me want to puke. Which Is so weird because I was able to tolerate them presurgery. Now the simple smell makes me go BLAHHHH. I have tried the green tea Isopure and it tastes like dirty socks smells... I was so excited about a new start, a healthier me - but now I feel lethargic and uncertain that I made a wise decision. I can't seem to hold anything down in my stomach - except chicken broth. My sense of smell is like when I was pregnant and everything is intensified. I am down 26 lbs (that includes the 10 lbs pre surgery). I am a very optimistic person - yet I just don't know what to do... Yesterday I called my dietitian and she spoke with my surgeon who said even though it is early, I could try pureed chicken or tuna. So I tried tuna and my stomach felt like I had "quick sand in it." Between the cramping and reflex. It feels like so much longer than a week and a day. HELP. Feeling trapped in a body I'm unfamiliar with...

Protein Powder is awful! I do the whey slammers because of the size (3.7oz). It tastes like crap but I can do it fast. Remember this is only temporary!

I couldn't do the Protein Drinks either. Try plain lowfat Greek yogurt; add fruit flavored Protein Powder (I like Jay Robb pina colada from GNC) to fruit Jello mix and prepare the normal way; add some vanilla or chocolate Protein powder to vanilla or chocolate pudding mix and prepare the normal way.

I'm 2 days post op and having troubles getting anything down. The tiniest sip of anything makes my stomach gurgle and cramp. Anyone else experience the same thing? Does it pass soon? Thanks for any advice!