vinesqueen

I've had three of these episodes now, where I'm a freaker/tweaker for 2-4 hours, but it seems longer. I just need to know that someone else experiences something similar to this, to know that I'm not alone. I become frantic, frenetic, like every molicule in my body is vibrating at double what it should be. Can't think, can't make a coherent sentence, can only shake and pace and move and tweak. The first time I was a little euphoric, but the last two times I felt out of control in a bad way. I don't doubt that If Iwas in public when this happens that I'll be arrested for public intoxication use of meth, or speed or crack. And not in a good way either. This goes way beyond being "normally" Cushie energetic. There is no way I can get anything done, it's all I can do to not start screaming or yelling. I spent over an hour walking in a circle in my kitchen. I'd get dizzy, so I'd switch and walk the other way. I ended up leaving the house and walked around my block twice, at a speed-walker pace, crying all the while, tears streaming down my face. I'm sure the neighbors were alarmed at my erratic behaviour. *I* was alarmed. When I"m in the teeth of one of these episodes I cannot hold a rational conversation. I can't even follow a simple one, not really. I repeat myself. I'll say the same thing two or three times, usually the end of the sentence I'm trying to say. I also get TERRIBLY thursty, and end up drinking a couple quarts of water in one go. Last week when this happened, I was in the middle of my 32 hour blood draw, and ended up with an ACTH of 59 and 60. Chris at least got to see how bad I was, at my very worst. I called Chris, not sure how I managed to punch the buttons since my hands were shaking so bad. She told me to start yet another UFC, do a salivary, and get a blood draw at the end of the UFC. I dont' want to test anymore! I wanted it to STOP! I don't want to have another one of those episodes EVER. But all Chris could do was tell me to test. Of course, I wouldn't have ever thought to test while I was in the middle of that. Even though it's happened three times now, it would have never occured to me to test. When I had regained my brain, after I stopped tweaking, I told my son that he was going to have to make me a drink. He was going to have to feed me rum until I stopped tweaking. I know that alcohol and Cortisol "eat" each other. I just feel like I cannot go through another one of those episodes. I just cannot face it. I know it is a danger signal to think in "black and white" concepts, but I'm just so terrified of those episodes. But what also frightens me is the thought of the crash that is bound to follow, either this afternoon or tomorrow. Where I'll lose conciousness, where I'll have "extreme weakness" with the crushing pain of the headaches and the back pain will burn my very soul.

My original plan was to reward myself with new music, one new (or used) CD for every pound. *sigh* But since I can't lose weight, sort of pointless.

they wouldn't send me home with a precription for the dex, so I'm still in the "test" phase. I can only hope they got the numbers that I need. Yesterday I had another one of those frantic freaker/tweeker episodes. Heh, I'm sure I'd be arrested for being intoxicated in public! I ended up walking in a circle in my kitchen for over an hour... When my brain started to work again, I taught my spud boy how to make a drink for me. He's not wild about giving me booze, but alcohol and cortisol "eat" each other, so I can only hope that one or more stiff drinks will bring me out of it. I'm so tired of this. I went to bed lastnight at about 3 am, was wired until about 4:30, up again at 6am and then at 8 am again. I am pretty sure this UFC will be really high, but I don't "need" any more high UFCs.... And I'm rambling again.

they wouldn't send me home with a precription for the dex, so I'm still in the "test" phase. I can only hope they got the numbers that I need. Yesterday I had another one of those frantic freaker/tweeker episodes. Heh, I'm sure I'd be arrested for being intoxicated in public! I ended up walking in a circle in my kitchen for over an hour... When my brain started to work again, I taught my spud boy how to make a drink for me. He's not wild about giving me booze, but alcohol and cortisol "eat" each other, so I can only hope that one or more stiff drinks will bring me out of it. I'm so tired of this. I went to bed lastnight at about 3 am, was wired until about 4:30, up again at 6am and then at 8 am again. I am pretty sure this UFC will be really high, but I don't "need" any more high UFCs.... And I'm rambling again.

they wouldn't send me home with a precription for the dex, so I'm still in the "test" phase. I can only hope they got the numbers that I need. Yesterday I had another one of those frantic freaker/tweeker episodes. Heh, I'm sure I'd be arrested for being intoxicated in public! I ended up walking in a circle in my kitchen for over an hour... When my brain started to work again, I taught my spud boy how to make a drink for me. He's not wild about giving me booze, but alcohol and cortisol "eat" each other, so I can only hope that one or more stiff drinks will bring me out of it. I'm so tired of this. I went to bed lastnight at about 3 am, was wired until about 4:30, up again at 6am and then at 8 am again. I am pretty sure this UFC will be really high, but I don't "need" any more high UFCs.... And I'm rambling again.

Carol if you cannot eat now, then you DO NOT need another fill. No, no, no. It sounds like you are too tight now. Your loss so far is quite good. Have you noticed your inches decreasing? It's just as important to track your inches as it is to track what the scale says. Many people lose, then compact, then lose, then compact, over and over.

gummiebear, hun, if you are not able to tollerate solid protiens then you prolly shouldn't have a fill yet. You are probbably still swollen from surgery. It happens to some folks.

Yay! New Avatar!

they have no idea what makes people fat. None at all. Last year it was Leptin. It isn't even as easy as calories in vs calories out. They dont' even know why or how the band works. They think they know, but they are not 100% sure of why it works.

Hey Terri, just wanted to let you know that I'm thinking about you. Hope your GB comes out nice and clean! Get that GB out before it can affect your band baby! So, you said you felt like you'd walked 100 miles... Does this mean that you are walking? (yes? Yes!)

chicken is difficult for some folks. Try another hard protien, and see if that works for you. If you are filled, and you can't do chicken, some folks think that might be a sign you are too tight. Of course, there is the whole mater of "food lube" sauces and such that make chicken and the hard protiens slide down easier.

When i started this, I thought it would be a trivial matter to get diagnosed, and then treated. Oh, if only it had been that simple. It's been a real struggle. Doctors who feel that they know best, doctors who won't test because Cushing's is too rare, doctors who won't test because they have a stick firmly wedged up their butt. It's so hard to read about seeming everyone else's successes, to know that until I get this tumor out of my head I will never have any success losing weight. I go away from LBT, and yet I am drawn back. Perhaps it is because I keep hoping that I too will once day have success, that one day I will be a size 14, not a 24. I wear the same clothes I wore before I was banded. But at least I know I have answers. I must hold onto the thought that I will have success. But it is harder still for me to know that other people are not seeking answers. That they are content to accept the band as yet another failed gimic. That they are not willing to push against the resistance that doctors put up. Is anyone else fighting!? Or am I alone in this? Fight Turtles! Fight!

When i started this, I thought it would be a trivial matter to get diagnosed, and then treated. Oh, if only it had been that simple. It's been a real struggle. Doctors who feel that they know best, doctors who won't test because Cushing's is too rare, doctors who won't test because they have a stick firmly wedged up their butt. It's so hard to read about seeming everyone else's successes, to know that until I get this tumor out of my head I will never have any success losing weight. I go away from LBT, and yet I am drawn back. Perhaps it is because I keep hoping that I too will once day have success, that one day I will be a size 14, not a 24. I wear the same clothes I wore before I was banded. But at least I know I have answers. I must hold onto the thought that I will have success. But it is harder still for me to know that other people are not seeking answers. That they are content to accept the band as yet another failed gimic. That they are not willing to push against the resistance that doctors put up. Is anyone else fighting!? Or am I alone in this? Fight Turtles! Fight!

once again, I think it's time to bump this thread. When i started this, I thought it would be a trivial matter to get diagnosed, and then treated. Oh, if only it had been that simple. It's been a real struggle. Doctors who feel that they know best, doctors who won't test because Cushing's is too rare, doctors who won't test because they have a stick firmly wedged up their butt. It's so hard to read about seeming everyone else's successes, to know that until I get this tumor out of my head I will never have any success losing weight. I go away from LBT, and yet I am drawn back. Perhaps it is because I keep hoping that I too will once day have success, that one day I will be a size 14, not a 24. I wear the same clothes I wore before I was banded. But at least I know I have answers. I must hold onto the thought that I will have success. But it is harder still for me to know that other people are not seeking answers. That they are content to accept the band as yet another failed gimic. That they are not willing to push against the resistance that doctors put up. Is anyone else fighting!? Or am I alone in this? Fight Turtles! Fight!

Not "may need to talk" but definately start to demand anwers from your doc. If you have been working your band, and still are not seeing any resutls, it's time to ask why. Stacy, I didn't any "real" weight loss, other than Water and edema weight with my band either. So I started to demand answers from my doctors. It took months before I was able to get answers, I finally have them. Please feel free to PM me. The answer that I found is that I have Cushing's. The number one symptom? Obesity.

ROFLOL, lots of people want to be you, Leatha, when they grow up. Don't sell yourself short. Thanks for posting this. Again.

Hey Jess, just wanted to tell you that it's good to see you on the boards again. I'm so sorry that you and your husband are dealing with this rough patch. To put it mildly, a rough patch. I know that many slips fix themselves, and by going unfilled for awhile really helps that process. Tell your husband to stop being such a baby about needles ((((((hugs)))))) I mean, if I can do my own blood draws then he can face a few shots. Courage and Strength (((((Jess! ))))))

Hi Susan, you can certianly do all those things you mentioned to hide how little you are eating. But I think it will be easier to hide than you think. Perhaps it is just me, but I sure don't sit around watching other folk's plates, being the food police. I don't think there are too many out there. You always have the option to say, oh, I'm on yet another diet, I'm just doing liquids.. what ever. Do not lie about your surgery, I think that will only come back and bite you in the butt. I think everyone knows about my surgery, and how little weight I've lost. But as for folks needing to talk, well, I say just give them some thing to talk about and they will be happy. But I don't care what fools think. And yes, I've lived in small towns and big ones, so I understand how people talk.

Hurray! Please tell MsJoy how happy we are for the NSV and congrats on the Aniversary! Being able to fit into a booth is a major mile stone indeed!

Congrats Sunta! It's so important to keep track of your NSVs because they tell the real story of your journey! I"m sure it's all very nice to be able to say "I've lost 50 pounds" but your NSV list shows what it really means to have lost that weight. Congrats and well done!

great photos, and congrats. So, what are your top 10 NSVs?

congrats! What wonderful news!

Yikes Babs! But I was thinking that the noise might be because you don't have as much insulation...

storm in a SEAcup (or C cup?) over swimwear http://blogs.news.com.au/heraldsun/fashion/index.php/heraldsun/comments/storm_in_a_teacup_over_swimwear/ At last night’s closing RAFW parade at the St Kilda Sea Baths, swimwear label MaraJoara discarded the catwalk models used in previous parades in favour of “real women”. The designer behind the label, Leesa Fogarty, claims RAFW organisers weren’t impressed. During the parade, models of all shapes and sizes took to the catwalk: short, well-endowed, petite, tall, skinny, pear-shaped, muscular, young and old - they were a cross section of body types. It was fantastic to see such a wide representation of the so-called “average” Aussie woman, and I’m sure looking at the pictures (see the Herald Sun’s Picture gallery) women out there can appreciate what styles may better suit their bodies. ... Even though the women in the show were "normal" they sure look pretty skinny to me... Interesting that this has spead to Austrailia...

hmmm, I would have to go with the 72 hours if you were told 3 days. I'm constantly amaized that ther is such a difference between clinics. We are told "take it easy" but we don't have to be on liquids after our fills. But of course, always follow your surgeons' recomendations.