MichiganChic

The good news for you is that you have the power to stop it, TODAY, with or without weight loss, surgery or not. You don't have to engage in this crazy dialogue. Once YOU change the rules, she's going to be on her own with this sickness. I imagine things may get worse before they get better. You both seem to have this dynamic that puts you a peg below her based on weight, as if somehow that's justified. She might try to find some other way to keep you "in your place", but don't let her. Just move on, and focus on how great you are going to feel, and how much improved your life will be. And trust me, it's gong to be better in ways you don't even know about!

Immediately before and for the first 6 weeks after surgery, I stopped drinking coffee. I didn't have headaches or other withdrawals, but I did miss it. My surgeon said I could have it after 6 weeks, as long as I was careful not to take Vitamins at the same time. Sorry, I don't have tips for giving it up easier! Even though my surgeon would have preferred no coffee until at least 4 months, and my dietitian would have preferred never, I never intended to do either, and discussed that with them. Now, I'll have a cup first thing in the morning, then one on the way to work, then usually one when I get home in the afternoon. On the weekends I'll drink a little more. I make sure to take my vitamins at bedtime so absorption isn't impacted. Since I don't need a Calcium supplement, that makes it easier. I LOVE a cup of black coffee, first thing in the morning. It gets me out of bed some days. My morning routine is that cup of black coffee while catching up on Bariatric Pal I enjoy that cup in the afternoon, too. I've been having pumpkin spice with pumpkin coffee creamer. It's a bit of a sweet treat. The 35 calories for the creamer is worth it to me, because it curbs the early evening grazing I'm inclined to do.

Ummm.....that's just not normal. Sorry your sister is that way. If someone EVER called me that, it would be the last time. You deserve better.

Your goal weight it your decision, and likely, you won't decide until you get closer to goal. It's hard to know how your body will respond, and what it will "allow", and how you will feel, and you'll look. One thing for sure - 250 is not too skinny for a person who is 5'4"! I'm also 5'4", and at my weight of around, I look pretty normal. I'm shocked by that because the number seems too high, and I would still like to lose another 10-20 pounds, but I'm fairly stuck here. So, I don't know what motivates your sister, but I wouldn't engage in a dialogue with her about this. If she has your best interests at heart, she will be there for you and support you. If she has some need for you to be heavier than her, then she's not the best support person for you. Either way she is your sister, and arguing with her over YOUR weight seems like a waste of time to me. Leave her out of the equation and achieve your goals as you see fit! Who knows - you may inspire her.

It is highly dishonest and unethical to say you lost weight with an herbal supplement and have monetary gain from it. It is not dishonest to not disclose your PHI. It's not every WLS person's J.O.B. to inform the public when they ask how they lost weight, so they don't get a false sense of what is possible. And it IS possible to lose weight without WLS. I do agree that the more prevalent information is about WLS, it may eliminate some of the shame associated with obesity and WLS. We've seen that over the years with HIV and also with mental illness. Generally, though, much of it has been the medical community, media, and advocates for those people who raised the awareness. It wasn't just people with HIV telling people they had had HIV that took away the shame and stigma. If people in the WLS surgery community want to advocate, by all means, they should. Not everyone is obligated.

Just because someone asks, they are not entitled to my personal health information. It is a PERSONAL decision about whether to tell or not. If people are embarrassed or ashamed, then that's their personal decision and they are entitled to their privacy, for whatever reason they choose. For those who feel they should educate the world and share their stories, more power to them. That's also a personal choice. Just curious - why is there a need for people to "admit" their feelings? Why should they be obligated to tell? People in this country are very private about health information for many reasons. That's why there are such strict laws protecting it - HIPAA. The law says health care workers can't know or share information unless it's for care or treatment, so why would we as individuals feel it's our obligation to answer nosy people's questions about our weight loss? I chose not to tell many people. I didn't want people watching me and judging what I was eating, how I was succeeding/failing, or generally being too interested in my weight and diet. I don't regret that decision. Of course, my picture is on here, so I think if anyone came across it, they'd recognize me, so I'm not all that incognito!

Yep...I'll be buying my candy that day! I've been known (pre-surgery) to eat a bag of it while passing it out. Not proud, but just sayin.

My post op diet was a little less restrictive than yours, but still, it was pretty restrictive. I also had to go on a two week liquid pre-op diet, so by the time I was 4 months post op, I was really sick of eating the things I could have! It was a total chore, and not worth it most of the time. I kept my calories around 600 -800 for the first 6 months or so. I tried not to be short-sighted about it, and to follow the program to the letter. I really was hard, but I knew that it would pass. I felt like it was worth it, though, because I had a lot of weight to lose, and it came off better than it ever has. I'm happy I did that, because after the first year, my weight loss slowed, and now it's a total struggle to get any off at all. I know everyone has a different diet, different body, and different outcomes, so we each have to find our own way. My best advice it to just hang in there, do the best you can with it, and this too, shall pass. It really is only a very short time!

I'm in southeast Michigan. Can't recommend anyone in your area, Sorry.

Me too. Where are you?

This graph shows my first year. Some months were better than others.

Oh and I forgot to say - Great job on your loss!! Awesome!

There are unflavored Protein powders you can get to add to food to increase your intake. You can also buy protein enriched Soups and other foods online. Google it, or look on the Bariatric Choice website. They have lots of things to choose from. I eat greek yogurt, turkey lunch meat, string cheese, nuts, and things like that to get my protein in, along with a Protein shake every day.

I started in a 24/26 and a 2 or 3 XL top. I lost about 50 pounds before they got too loose to wear. The smaller I became, the faster the sizes dropped. Now, I will drop a size if I lose 10 pounds. I'm in an 8 or 10, and small or medium top.

Agreed. What's worse, is I find I don't always have self control to pass things up. It's very hard to have the will power day in and day out....and it get's old. It's hard not to have "dieter's fatigue". I just do the best I can, but it's frustrating when you realize it's the little choices that you make day in and day out that can make or break us, and that's NEVER changing. Then I look at my beautiful small clothes and remember how much better I feel, and I am consoled

Do a search on this topic - someone else asked a similar question last week and there were pages of responses. But, to answer your question, I also considered both. I wanted the sleeve, but then the doc said I'd lose more with the RNY, so I signed up for that even though he said I could do either. A couple days before surgery, I changed my mind and went with the sleeve. I've been happy with it, and I am totally without any sort of symptoms (dumping, GERD,vomiting, etc). I love that. Sometimes I think I could lose the last few pounds easier if I had the bypass, but really, I'm happy with my decision.

For me, it's follow the "rules". All day, every day. It's what we do over the long haul that will make the difference. I'm human, I slip up once in a while. I'm human, so I decide to "go off the rails" (read eat what I know I shouldn't, and too much of it). However, I don't let that get out of hand. It's usually not more than for a meal, and never more than a day. I can do a lot of damage in a short time. And probably the number one thing for me is to be honest with myself. I track every bite, even when I'm off the rails. I log it all, and face it. Usually that's enough to reign me in. A key ingredient to my success has been to look at the big picture, and just keep on doing what we know we need to do, day in, day out. It's why I always failed before - I couldn't sustain the change. One other thing I forgot to mention earlier - I do take ibuprofen every day, and have since I was about 2 months post op. That was one of the primary reasons I chose this surgery. My doc says RNY patients are predisposed to ulcers, but sleeve patients are not. It's one reason I chose the sleeve. I do know there are differing thoughts about that, but I also know that many sleeve patients take NSAIDS without difficulty.

It was worth it for me. I lost around 95% of my excess weight, but even 60% would have been a huge improvement. However, those are statistics they give you. Some people lose 100%, and some lose almost none, or lose it and gain it all back. It does help you lose and maintain, but in the end, it's up to you. I have to work hard to lose and maintain, and I do have to track every bite I eat. I know that I'm one of those people who could gain it all back. We each are unique, and have to find our own way to success. This is only worth it if you are willing to do the work.

Yep, but for me, it's not my tailbone, it's my hip bones. Must be the say I sit. Anyway, I can actually feel my bones easily through my skin, and when I sit on a hard surface, (bleachers, church pews, wooden chairs) I have to shift to the side to prevent pain. I need to build some muscle there, which I think would help immensely. My mom lost a lot of weight and kept it off for nearly 30 years, without WLS, just through very low calorie dieting. She actually developed a decubitus ulcer (pressure sore) on her tailbone, even though she was not bed bound. She had it for about 10 years. Her diet really wasn't very good. In the last 6 months she got cancer and I worked with her to change her diet for healing, having her eat much like a WLS patient (high protien, but with a slightly increased calorie intake), and it healed! She's 74 and active, so that just goes to show what a poor nutritional status with weight loss can do, and also how important good nutrition really is!

I don't know how I missed this thread, but that was a question I NEVER would have contemplated. I would never ever in a million years choose to be fat again. It's my biggest nightmare. The symptoms the OP stated later in the thread have nothing to do with going back to being fat, and being fat wouldn't fix them. Even though weight loss had induced them, they are temporary, unlike the physical health problems associated with being fat, which are progressive. I started this for health, but once I achieved that, it quickly became about looks for me. I'll admit it. I never dreamed I could look so good, lol! I agree with the others, skin does take a while to firm back up. I'm 52, and mine was never going to firm up all the way. I've had some plastics, and will likely have more, but even without it, I looked way better than I did at 300+ pounds. I looked at it like this - at my highest weight, I could never expose my arms or legs anyway, so I didn't feel bad that I couldn't expose the loose skin I was left with after losing the weight. I was already an expert at dressing to hide that, and there are a lot more options to do that in regular size clothing. I hated everyday of being fat, and all the miserable things associated with it. I didn't realize that until I became thin. A resounding no from me - I never want to be fat again.

At first, I picked a goal of normal BMI, which is 145. I didn't really expect to get anywhere near it, so I guess it wasn't much of a goal, lol. I'd been overweight most of my life, and really couldn't imagine actually being thin. I was afraid to hope. So, after I started losing, I started to think about what was reasonable for me, given my history. (I was 140 pounds in the 80s for about 5 minutes). I figured if I hit 180, I'd be OK with it. That would be about 70% of my excess weight. If I hit 160, I'd be happy, and if I hit 140 I'd be thrilled. So, now my wight has stabilized, and it's looking like 165 is where I can comfortably maintain. However, I still might want to get to 155, just to give a little wiggle room. That's a long winded response, but the short answer is that it's a work in progress, and I don't have to pick a number and stick to it regardless of reality. Part of it's where I want to be, (what I can do) and part of is what is possible (what my body dictates), and those two things will determine where I land. Even at this weight, I think I look good,and I consider myself a success.

I struggled with this, too. I decided on the sleeve because I wanted to be able to take NSAIDS and steriods if I ever needed them. I also didn't really want to deal with the malabsorption. I've lost about 90-95% pf my excess weight, which is better than any of the averages. However, I really want to lose 100%. Sometimes I wonder if I'd had the RNY if I would have lost it all. I guess I'll never know. Obviously, some people with RNY never reach 100% excess weight loss, either. A few pounds isn't really worth worrying about though, at least to me. I'm happy with my decision. You just need to decide what's most important to you.

@@CowgirlJane Great update! Love these stories

Yay for you! You are on your way, and before you know it, you'll have a lot more to add to the lost column! Keep up the good work!

This is so normal, but I felt like I was the only one who felt so bad. Even the nurse at my doc's office said people go back to work with no problem after a week or two. I was out of work 4 weeks, and could have been out longer. I was very weak and tired, and just felt pretty bad in general for the first couple of weeks. It did start to improve slowly after that, and I never did just wake up one day and think - wow- I'm better now! It was gradual over months, but every day was a little better than the day before. In fact, I can remember posting early on that I wasn't sure I would do it again if I knew what I was in for. However, at almost 2 years out, I'm so happy I did! I am thrilled every day that I've been given this gift. Hang in there, drink your fluids and eat as you are supposed to, and it will get better!