wrightan5

hello, all. i hope this isn't innapropriate, but i am desperate for some advice. you see, i am not a patient, i'm the spouse of a lovely woman who had her sleeve done 6 days ago. i can't find anyone locally who can provide any info aside from her doctor who is rarely available. besides, i need some real answers, not just textbook stuff. she is in an incredible amount of pain. i'm talking sobbing, pain meds every 3 1/2 hours, exhausting pain. she's spoken with her surgeon twice, and an on call doc a couple of times too. so far they've just reccommened taking milk of magnesia which has worked some. a couple of summers ago her gallbladder died inside of her and sent her to the er for emergency surgery to remove what was a liquified, gangrenous gallbladder and surrounding tissue so she knows pain. none of the doctors around her believed her when she complained about the pain for months prior, blamed it on her "seeking attention" and she's afraid that the doctors are just ignoring her all over again. she walks as much as she can, and takes in a good amount of liquids (water, sf popscicles, etc.) i keep trying to tell her that this too shall pass and one day she'll look back and none of this will matter. this doesn't help. she totally regrets going through with this and i just can't seem to pull her out of it. she was discharged from the hospital this past saturday and she went home to her dad's sunday morning (i went to my parents house for the holidays) her dad put her in a room downstairs and kept all of her protein and pain meds upstairs (two flights) and told her that if she wanted her meds or food, she'd have to come get them. i get what his intention was, but this seemed extreme to me. so, i cut my family time short and brought her home today. unfortunately she got in maybe 20 oz of protein total in the past 3 days. does that account for some of her pain? i'm doing my best to try and get her to take in what she needs, but she's an adult and i can't force her. she got in quite a bit today since 2pm, but simply refused anything else around 8pm which put her at only 7 oz of greek yogurt cut with milk. i'd have to find my protein calculation sheet to see what amount of protein that equated to. she won't eat much else. she got in some tomato soup, but that has very little protein in it. what worked for you guys? i'm looking for maximum protein here. she claims she can taste/feel the unflavored unjury and it seems to take so much of that powder to get in a good amount of protein in 2-4 oz. she also has a jp drain in and i'm told that when that comes out (friday, thank god) she'll feel a whole lot better. i hope so. in the past two days she's been draining a lot more. it's the same color and consistancy, just more. is this a concern? will it prevent them from taking the drain out on friday? she's just so discouraged. she's lost a lot of weight already, i can tell, but it since she appears to have lost it so unhealthily (no protein, stressed and sobbing at her dad's, vomiting for three days) we're both having a hard time seeing it as a good thing. i know it's good, it was just how it happened that sucks. what can i do to help her? what do i say? again, i hope this post was okay. i know that this is a support group for people who actually received the surgery and i am so happy that places like this exist, but the more days that pass the more i wish there was a group for the partners and supporters too. sorry for such a long post, i am just so lost. any help/advice is greatly appreciated. thank you.

she can definitely keep things down. most of the vomiting came up immediately following occasions where her dad or other inept family members yelled at her or pushed her to do something she couldn't which would cause her to get get crazy upset and stressed out. even before surgery that how she responded to stress so i'm sure that's where it came from. she hasn't vomited since i brought her home.

that is a very good tip there. i will certainly check that out. it hasn't been fun trying to do all that in my head.

thank you guys. i was pretty horrified when she told me what her dad was doing. i should've never let her go there, but i really thought that he would step up. he loves her, he just pushes way too hard. see, now i'm getting conflicting advice. not from you guys, but others. they had her drinking yogurt cut with milk in the hospital, so she shouldn't be doing that yet? because i am totally cool with her just having water and popscicles to her hearts content. upon discharge we were told that she had to get in a minimum of 50 grams of protein a day. in fact they kept her in the hospital for several hours after she was supposed to leave becasue they said she hadn't had enough protein. i certainly don't push. if for no other reason than she just doesn't repsond to that. i just suggest. i was under the impression she needed all this protein though. her program was apparently very...odd.