princesstia

With less than 24 hours away from the big surgery, I find myself enthralled in all sorts of emotions. One moment I'm excited. The next I'm a little worried. The next I'm axious to get this over with.. And the next I'm flat out afraid. I've been up since 3am this morning. I just can't sleep.My mind is moving just too fast. I've been going back and forth to some major events in my life and trying to figure out what led me here.. Then 2 events pop in mind.. One when I was about 19 and was having an argument with one of my ex boyfriend's friends. He made a pass at me and I told my boyfriend at the time who addressed him about it. He was so upset with me he yelled "that's why your're a cheeseburger away from obese". I was soooo offended, like could he really have said that to me.. But then again, he was right. I had no come back. Then lastly I remember having an argument with an ex friend of mine at about 21 and boy was it a bad one. Not wanting to be defeated like I had in the previous argument, I was guns loaded. In a tit for tat I blurted out "that's why your ugly and you look like a gorilla". Not one of my proudest moments I'll admit. Very childish.. She responds "that's why your fat". Ouch! Another dagger to the heart about my weight. I replied "well I can fix my problem. But you sure can't fix ugly. All the surgery in the world won't help that face!"... Feeling like I had won that argument, my ego said otherwise and I was deeply saddened. What these two events made me realize is that the person I saw, was what the rest of the world was beginning to see. Someone who was moving fast towards a serious weight problem. My grandmother passed away on December 26, 2003 in her sleep for no apparent reason. She cooked Christmas dinner, played games with us all.. then never woke back up. The doctor's ruled it as congestive heart failure because it was the last pre-existing condition she had. But what I failed to mention was that she was just over 500 pounds and battled with sleep apnea. She use to snore really bad. When I would spend the night with her, the only way I knew she was breathing was when I heard that snoring.. But sometimes there would be long pauses in those snores and she'd begin gasping for breath. The morning of her death I arose to greet her good morning and while combing my hair in her vanity right next to her bed... I noticed, she hadn't been snoring. Then I looked at her arm and it was just hanging off the bed. I knew she had stopped breathing. I honestly believe she suffocated in her sleep and had she been 200-300 pounds lighter, I'd still have her to this very day. She died at only 52. Obesity is a genetic disadvantage in my family and I finally have an opportunity to overcome that. To live life the way it's supposed to be lived. This is something I can't pass on doing. I've prayed to God without ceasing about what I can do to get this weight off and in I stumble across a procedure I didn't even know existed. Literally walked in the clinic to inquire about a lap band and will be walking out tomorrow with a sleeve. God carved a perfectly laid path for me tomorrow. I had no hickups along the way, and have paid nothing out of pocket. Because I have really good health insurance, whatever they cover is all my surgeon says he will be receiving. It can't get any better than that. Aside for paying co pay on my perscriptions, I consider this a free procedure to help me get my life back. This is a gift from God! I am a living witness that if you remain in him and his words remain in you, you can ask for whatever you wish and it will be given unto you (John 15:7). I didn't know how he was gonna do it I just had faith and he did it! I cry as I write this moment because I will never see life through the same set of eyes again. My limits to a happy fulfilled life have just become endless. These are my tears... OF JOY!

Things are getting to crunch time and I have some major issues that have definitely been relived. First and foremost, I was afraid to have a drainage tube and catheter. I was able to ask my surgeon about this directly and he assured me I won't have either. He went on to explain that usually the tubes are for patients with much higher BMIs for safety reasons. Thank goodness. I am now at the home stretch. I know I am going to be kicking screaming on my way in there but dammit I'm going in there in less than 48 hours and I'm coming out a new woman. Pray for me everyone!

Hello everyone.. my surgery is this thursday the 20th. I am freakin out over here. This is my first ever surgery and boy oh boy I don't know what to expect. Please keep me in your prayers and I will be praying for you all as well.

So I am only 4 days away from the biggest event in my whole 24 years of living and I am freaking out. I know this is normal I know this is normal, but I am so nervous at this point. I just don't want anything to go wrong. Finals are done, vacation is set to begin this Wednesday so I shouldn't have anything pressing. Liquid diet is getting on my nerves, but hey, it's just one of those things that you gotta do. So I'm a little irritated with that but I'm doing it. I'm down about 5 pounds from my starting weight so the scales didn't let me down at all. But I'm definitely getting rid of the scale as soon as surgery hits. I will not step on that thing until my post op appointments. I just don't want to overwhelm myself with trying to eat right and watch the scale drop pound by pound. I'll be ok I'm sure. Just panic. WOOOOOOSA! I'm ready.

I decided to do the surgery definitely to get down to a healthy BMI.. But in my mind I have this idea of some fit person crossfit training and so on and so forth. Then reality hits, I may not get the luxury of the weight loss I'm looking for.. I'm doing tons and tons of research on bodybuilding and 5x5 stronglifts (I really want abs) but in reality, is all of that even possible? Will I have the energy needed to guide my weight loss in the muscle building direction? Stressed because I don't want to be a skinny fat person. You know, weighs only 150 pounds but has like 35% body fat.. just flubbery. SMH. See, worrying about the wrong things. I have to continue to remind myself, just one day at a time. That's all. Set small goals and do the best you can to reach them.. I hope I'm not the only person stressing about this...

I absolutely dread cleaning but have been slowly tugging through it as the week goes by. Also gonna get a car wash and wash all my clothes. I hate dirty clothes going into the new year let alone a surgery on top of that!

Great list. I'll actually be compiling mines this weekend so here's a great start!

Hey there. My surgery is December 20th and I can't wait! Ready for this to happen like yesterday lol

In getting myself excited about the upcoming journey, I've decided to list some things I can't wait to say good bye to forever! the plus size section: though its been a necessity, they never have clothing that fits my stylish personality. ready to wear the stuff I circle in my magazines Triple D bras: Although people pay for breast this size, I'm a living witness that they do a number on one's lower back. Besides paying $70-$100 for one bra that isn't even all that cute, I can finally wear dressy shirts to work that don't look so provocative Dieting! This probably should've been #1 on my list. Thank goodness to get rid of all the pills and fads and plain ol falling into the trap of trying to lose a few pounds here and there. This weight is going for good! Never feeling full. I don't know about some, but for me, my appetite matched my weight. I feel so hungry all the time. Ghrelin or whatever that hormone is called has kicked my a@$ for a while and now I can eat feel satisfied. Size 9 and 10 rings. I hated shopping for jewelry because my fingers were so huge. I'd pick the cutest rings and have to have them re-sized two sizes bigger. Now I have my rings in a standard size Not being able to finish my mile time in under 13 minutes. When I was in high school I ran track and could run a mile in about 5-6minutes. Since I've been in college, I can't even run a full lap without huffing and puffing for my breath. One thing I will make my top priority is my endurance. LA Marathon here I come This was just to name a few, but they definitely were some major hinderances in my years of being overweight. I don't know about you other December sleevers, but at least we never have to leave another year obese again! The perfect ending of a year! (doing my happy dance) lol

Good luck to you! Our surgery is on the same day so I look forward to hearing how it all turned out. See you in recovery

The closer the day gets, the more anxious I become. 10 days and I will be On my way to a new life. I keep a diary of all my letters to god. Every prayer, every thanks, or when I want to express myself to the man above I simply write it down. Well, as the year is coming to an end I decided to look through my last letters to God and I truly believe this operation is heaven sent. I never realized the pain all this weight was causing me. On a mental level! Of all my prayers, 85% of them were about my weight and me almost complaining to god that he has not answered me. His word says "if you remain in me and my words in you, ask whatever you wish and it shall be given unto you". Well I asked him to help me lose weight. Literally with those words. I didn't know how I was gonna do it, but I trusted god, and though some critics may call it the easy way out, for some of us it was the only way out. Some may not be spiritual, but very surely I tell you, there is a god! Ive prayed and saw my prayers answered time and time again. I've been able to accomplish and do things I could not have done in my own strength and will. I no longer worry about what will happen 10 days from today because as long as I know the man above is the force behind it, nothing can possibly go wrong. My praises will never cease! On my way to a new me!!!!

So I got the shakes! They are good... But last night was a complete fail. My mom didn't know my pre-op had officially started and she brought home Chili's takeout. I couldn't resist the big mouth bites and southwestern egg rolls. So pre op started today! 1 little day isn't so bad?

Shut the front door! $4? I'll be at Walmart right after work! Do you know how many g of protein are in each shake?

I'm dying here. I went to Rite Aid on my break, bought a shaker bottle, and a 4 pack of EAS myoplex carb sensitive protein shakes. They have 25g of protein so the 4 pack should last me for today right? I have a 5 lb tub of whey protein at home that I completely forgot this morning so I guess I'll be using that until surgery day.. these shakes are expensive. I have my handy dandy Jack Lananine Power Juicer so I'll go in on a few vegetable juices over the next few weeks or so.. only thing with juicing is that you go through soooo many vegetables at once.

I know exactly what you mean. My nutritionist is the one who said to do the 2 week liquid diet. It was confliction info so finally when I spoke to the office they said go ahead and do the 2 week liquid diet. I guess that just means more pounds shed before d day.. Good luck to you on the 13th. I was originally scheduled for that day but it conflicted with my finals. Can't wait to hear how it goes!

Kind of a sucky day for me because I was told by my surgeon that the pre-op diet was to begin 1 week prior to surgery.. Get a call yesterday evening, and of course they made a mistake, and it's 2 weeks prior. Needless to say, I had to officially begin this morning on liquids. I wasn't even mentally prepared for this. I had made plans to go have my "last meals" this weekend, as I love pizza and Olive Garden and knew they would probably never taste the same again. They also restricted tea and coffee, but as I arrived to work this morning, I could smell the Keurig brewing and I just couldn't resist. Yes I had a cup of coffee .. Already off to a bad start. I ended up going to buy a 1.5 liter of water so that I can drink to the point of fullness so as to ward off the hunger pains today.. gonna be a long 13 days ahead of me... Sucks

Thank you guys.. Now i can focus on finals next.. the nervousness is kicking in!

I'm new to VST, but definitely am ready to share this amazing experience. I decided to have the sleeve in September of 2012. I've gone through 3 months of nutrition, psych evaluation, and an endoscopy. My surgery was approved this past Monday and my surgery date is set for December 20th. Boy I'm nervous. Needed a few forums for some extra motivating support (VST did not let me down!)... I'm from Carson, CA and my surgeon is in Beverly Hills, Dr. Feiz to be exact. It was a smooth, but confusing process. Finally got after 2nd review because AETNA said, even though my BMI is over 40, the photos don't appear to make me look like surgery is needed.. What?? Are you serious right now? Anywho, the small battle is over. The real war starts Dec 20th. Looking forward to my new relationship with VST and I pray this journey is one of peace, fulfillment, and most of all enjoyment! xTia