Reputation from deedeemuffin

deedeemuffin got a reaction from Sleevyjazzy in My Life 90 days Post-op May 22, 2017

It's hard to believe that I have had my wonderful, little sleeve for a full 3 months already! I now just affectionately refer to my sleeve as my "tiny tummy". My tiny tummy & I embarked on our adventure together on November 27th. So, we've already had our first Christmas together.
90 days ago I was scared, tired & miserable. I had managed to lose & regain the same 30 lbs. (& 30 lbs. only) over & over again. My clothes were all bought over the internet. I limited my social interaction, because I was embarrassed about how I looked. It didn't matter what I wore, or how I did my hair, or how perfect my make up was. I always felt like I was disgusting. That is no way to go through life. If anyone who is reading this is pre-op & feeling that way, just let it go. Self deprecation doesn't benefit anyone.
I went in for surgery on November 27th absolutely terrified. When I woke up in recovery the pain was unbearable. I felt like a bus had run over me, backed up & was still sitting there. I only had to stay in the hospital 1 night. I had a leak test the next day & was cleared & ready to go home.
The first 3 weeks were HARD. There is just no way to sugar coat that. Everyone is different. Some people have an easier time than I did recovering. Technically, I had a perfect surgery & recovery. It has been my thinking that is taking the most time to adjust. This site was absolutely invaluable to me during my 1st 30 days. I lost a lot of weight in the first 7 days. Then the scale didn't move even a tenth of a pound for 3 weeks! I was convinced that I would never get past that 30 lbs. So many people told me this was such a small part of the journey & things would get better & they were right!
I am not the fastest loser, but that is okay. I remember one week being disappointed that I had only lost 3 lbs. that week. "Only 3 pounds". Before the sleeve I would have been ecstatic to lose 3 pounds in one week. 3 pounds a week times 52 weeks in a year is 156 pounds! I would be SO excited if next 11/27 I down 156 lbs.! I had to change the way I thought about numbers on the scale. I needed to learn to trust my Dr., nutritionist, my sleeve and myself.
Now I have not been perfect. A few of you may remember my mistakes from at least one infamous thread. One day I ate 10 chicken nuggets & a mocha frappe from McDonalds. It took me 4 hours, but I got it all down. Recently I had bread for the 1st time & ate 4 pieces of garlic bread dipped in sauce. I caused myself much pain in both instances. Physically & emotionally. What have I learned from these experiences? Never again! That's what I learned. Maybe some people are perfect, but some people like me sometimes learn the hard way.
This is not only a physical journey. It is mental & emotional too. We all got to our highest weights for different reasons. I think, though, that most of us can relate to using food as a comfort at some point. Also, if you are an ex-smoker (like me) it is a double whammy. First I had to quit smoking for quite awhile before I could have surgery. Then once I had my surgery I could only use food for - get this: NUTRITION! Ack! Once I was only feeding my body nutrients & not comfort I had severe nicotine cravings. I remember crying because I couldn't eat OR smoke.
Jump to 2/27. 90 days post-op. I am down 64 pounds, 4 pants sizes, 3 shirt sizes & 1 shoe size. I am comfortable in my car now. I can fit into restaurant booths without worrying. I have more energy. Instead of my life revolving around food, my life revolves around life! Imagine that? I can go out to eat & have great conversations instead of obsessing about what appetizer, entree, dessert combination I'll be having. It's very liberating!
I still have a long way to go, but I know now that I CAN do this. My tiny tummy & I are going places. Literally. My boyfriend & I planned our first flying (as opposed to driving) vacation together in 6 years. We live in upstate NY. The 1st week of May we will be going to Phoenix to visit my grandmother. We are also doing a 3 day drive & stay trip to Las Vegas & The Grand Canyon. I am looking forward to all of it. If I keep with what my average weight loss has been I will be close to 100 pounds down by the time we leave. This trip definitely gives me motivation to really get in some good exercise over the next 2 months. I want to be able to come back & say that I HIKED in the Grand Canyon. I also want to be out on the disc golf courses with my sweetie. He deserves a more active partner than I have been.
3 months ago I started a whole new life. I can't wait to keep on this amazing path & rise to all the goals that are waiting for me!

deedeemuffin got a reaction from Ready2Live! in Before and After Pics May 21, 2017

You have done amazing! I can't believe how well you have done in 1 year. Congratulations. I would love to be down 140 in my first year too. I'll tell you Dr. Weiss knows his stuff. He might not be warm & fuzzy, but he's great at what he does & I love the team at Tristate!

deedeemuffin got a reaction from WL WARRIOR in Any other veterans not at goal or super slow to goal? July 5, 2015

I am 2 1/2 years out. It will be 3 years at the end of November. I started out at 418. The first 100 lbs. just melted off. The next 50 lbs. were more of a struggle. I have found myself at the same weight for almost 9 months now. No gains. No losses. Just hanging at 268.
I have a few issues that I struggle with. I am not interested in plastics, but the more I lose the more I just look like a deflated balloon. This is wreaking havoc on my self-esteem. I know that I am healthier. I have engaged in activities in the past year that I never thought that I would be able to do again...camping, hiking and canoeing to name a few. I just wonder how much more gross (this is my word for myself) that I'll look when I reach a truly healthy weight.
I have never had one of those sleeves that make you vomit, but I have restriction and I respect it. I don't push my sleeve. I just make poor food choices. I have gone completely down the slope smack dab into carbs and sugar. Waffle for Breakfast. Veggie fried rice for lunch. Black Bean Burger with bun for dinner. A Pop-Tart and tea before bed. (Picking up on the vegetarian vibe?) I just can barely look at tofu and the premade veggie Protein products are so sodium laced.
I also admit that I abhor exercise. I was going to yoga 3x per week. Then I started having serious back problems. A herniated L4 & L5 with nerve root compression that causes mobility problems with my left leg. I went for 3 different injections, steroids and other, with a minimum bed rest of a week after each one. I totally lost my yoga mojo.
I did the 5 day pouch test. Yes, my sleeve still works. I lost 7 lbs., but I felt like I wanted to eat the arm off my couch. I get legitimately hungry now. Not head hungry. Like my sleeve growls at me hungry.
I know that this is a long post. I'm hoping that there's someone out there with a similar experience or positive encouragement. I beat myself up enough. I've stayed away from the boards for a very long time feeling ashamed for not being at goal. I don't want to hide anymore. I just can't seem to kick myself back into gear. It's like starting from square one except I'm in the 200's instead of the 400's. Anyone? Thanks!

deedeemuffin reacted to lilkim305 in Any other veterans not at goal or super slow to goal? September 7, 2015

Hi everyone! I have been reading all of the posts here and have a few comments. This surgery has taught me so much about myself both good and not so good. I have learned I had many misconceptions as an overweight person.
As being overweight people, for some of us, such as myself, all my life, we have gone through enough torture about our weight. The idea of weight loss surgery at least in my opinion was to be free of that torture! Yet, having weight loss surgery didn't remove the constant worry. It really takes work to achieve and then maintain a weight loss goal with or without surgery. This is something that caught me off guard. I didn't expect it to be consistent work. But what I have learned in the 1 and 7 months since my surgery is that everyone has to work at maintaining their weight. That was a shocker for me. What I hear in these posts is that disappointment in not achieving a goal or a specific number. This is one of the reasons I am very,very thankful that my surgeon and his team didn't set a set goal for me. They asked me what my goal was which I said at 5"10" and female I wanted it to be 185. Then my NUT said we will see what your body will do. So first determine what your goal is. I too weighed 180 in high school but had a weight loss experience in college where I lost 135lbs and weighed 164lbs, the lower end of normal for my height. However, my body just could not sustain that weight loss, I got unmotivated and gained all the weight back and then some! Fast forward to 2014 when I had gastric sleeve surgery and have lost 218 lbs. I currently weigh less than my goal of 185lbs. This has been the biggest shock of all! I honestly didn't think I would achieve my goal. My idea was that I would be happy to be a size 18! I am currently a 12-14! Never in my life have I been this size! The main things I have done which I believe have really helped me are : Number one believe in yourself. Don't let negative thoughts or comments from anyone derail you. Be consistent, my NUT preaches this and it is true. Track everything you eat, this helps not only to keep track of calories, but to uncover patterns. Don't drink your calories. I think this has been a huge mantra for me. I have bad knees, which I would like to stop saying, so I will correct myself by saying my knees cannot perform to their optimal best. This could have derailed me entirely, but I just tried all different types of exercise and mix it up so as not to get bored. Some weeks are better than others in terms of how much I do. I normally try to do 3 days 60 minutes. I would like to improve on this though. Just stay active. Done sit on the couch. I used to watch hours of TV every night but now I hardly have time. Don't beat yourself up. This is not an all or nothing approach. I used to apply that approach every time I started a new diet, which would end as another failed attempt. With every meal, there is a new opportunity to improve and make a better choice. Look at what you have already accomplished! You are a success! Take a look at your original goals and decide if they are still what you would like to accomplish. If yes, then go for it, if not then re-write them and go for it! Whatever you decide know that you have many talents and gifts not determined by a number on a scale! That number on the scale does not define you! Go to your local support group and check in to this forum! I am only sorry I haven't been on more but as with many of us, we are going through our own issues and one of my issues has been that I didn't feel worthy to give any advice. So now I am on not to give advice but rather encouragement and support. Anything that I may say and share to help someone else is a personal goal of mine. Be well, take care!! Keep in touch