Momonanomo

Hi – this ridiculously long entry really is for me to organize all the questions I’ve been having as I progress on this journey. I don’t expect answers, because in many cases it’s different for different people. I’ve been on VST for many months now, reading every experience I can. I think this has been instrumental in educating me enough that I feel comfortable proceeding with the pursuit of the sleeve. I feel I’ve learned a lot about what to possibly expect. But I’ve also learned enough to know that people’s experiences can vary greatly or be very similar. So in that spirit, I’m committing to the blogosphere my personal ponderings. I intend to revisit all these sometime post surgery and have some answers. - Will I have to fight much with insurance to get approved? I’m working with my surgeon’s office to do the 6 month thing, and have requested all my files be sent to surgeon’s office to see how many of the 6 months have already been met. I feel like a show pony doing a tap dance – I will do whatever they want! Just approve me already! - Once approved by insurance, when can the surgeon schedule me? Will they bump me up if I say pretty please? - When I have my date, will my sweet husband decide he’s too scared of the risk of me doing this? I have been patiently educating this wonderful, naturally fit & athletic man about what it’s like to have a weight problem, and I believe he does understand, after many long talks , why I can’t “just try harder”…. - When I have my date will *I* get scared of the risk and freak out? I’ve read on VST that it’s common. I am reading VST every day and doing some hard core soul searching. I want to be as mentally and emotionally prepared as possible. Even so, some fear is to be expected…just hope it’s not the high BP kine, or the kine where you jump off the OR table in the gown where your butt’s hanging out and run away lol - When I check in the hospital for surgery, will I be able to let go and not worry about how my family is doing while I’m in surgery? Will I focus on worrying what my husband will have for lunch, or will I be thinking about my stomach being cut out….on second thought, probably better to wonder what hubby is having for lunch. - What will it be like to go under anesthetic? What will it be like to wake up? Will I say anything embarrassing? Will I sing? Will I tell jokes? - Will the surgeon be able to do the single incision at my belly button as planned? How big will the incision be? Will my belly button ever look the same? Or will he need to do additional incisions? Can’t imagine my gi-normous stomach coming out a little bitty puka. Does he cut it up to get it out? Or fold it? Or roll it up like a yoga mat? Do I really wanna know? Glad I won’t be awake to see :] - Will I be in much pain when I wake up? Will I be nauseous? Lord I’d rather be in pain than throw up. VST shows a wide variety of how people feel waking up. I know there are a lot of factors including how I react to the anesthesia and pain meds. - Will I be able to walk and sip water easily? I read and read here that I should “walk walk walk, sip sip sip”. That will be my job, hope I’m good at it. - Will each day get better and better? What will be my worst day? - When I come home, will I be able to sleep in my bed ? Will I be exhausted? I’m exhausted all the time anyway now so maybe it won’t be much different - Will I have difficulty with swallowing water? This has been something I’ve tried really hard to imagine and honestly it is pretty much beyond my realm of imagination. To have a hard time with a teeny sip of water….what about my own spit? Is it hard to swallow that? Will I drool? OK I’m being silly. But seriously…. Will I even have spit if I can’t drink a decent amount of water?! - Will my incision heal nicely or will my weird-@ss skin react to the bandage or whatever doc uses. Will I get itchy? Hivey? Will I be able to take my allergy medicine? - How long will I need pain medicine? Will it help? Will I need an acid blocker right away? Will it help? - Will I be a slow lose or a fast loser? Honestly, doesn’t matter much to me, so long as I’m a BIG loser! - Will my tastes change? OMG I want to lose my sweet tooth! And my Mexican food tooth! - What will I learn about my relationship with food? I know I am already exploring this, and I want to find a counselor sooner than later. I truly believe that I am not an emotional eater. I do believe that I am a hard core food addict though. Explaining that will be another entry some time. - How soon will I feel human again after this major surgery? How soon will I feel like going back to work? So MANY different experiences with other VST folks. This question is truly unpredictable as far as I can tell. He he he …. Oh I’d say I never want to go back to work…..cuz it’s work. But how soon will I be able to go back. Unless of course I suddenly become independently wealthy during my recovery. Even then, I’d want to go back and organize my files…. - Will I experience the “buyer’s remorse” phase like so many do? How long will it last for me? - Will I experience the moodiness and depression some feel? I wonder…but knowing it’s a common occurrence will help me battle it if it does show up. Depression is a sneaky monster, but knowing it’s hormones is a great way to arm myself in that battle. - Will I experience the other thing the ladies on VST sometimes talk about in regards to the hormones after surgery? Will I finally tire out my hubby insteada the other way around? - What will it be like to finally have success in a weight loss endeavor and know I can make it long term. I know it will be work, and I know I will be embarking on a major life change. But how will it feel to know I actually have a great chance of achieving my goals? How exciting! Happy dance! - Will I lose hair? I know many people do….understandably there’s lots of discussion about it. Take biotin, but be prepared for hair growth to increase everywhere on the body Also, Biotin helps with regrowth, not preventing loss. Eat lots of protein. Well hell, this is a motivator for sure! I know with the fresh sleeve it will be difficult to eat. But I will make damn sure what I do eat will be protein! Meh, if it falls out , it will grow back. I would embrace the added body all the little short hair would give to my maine. Snick – I hope to remember to be so flippant if/when my hair is laying in clumps in the shower drain - Will I have loose skin? Hmmm…probably. I aim to strength train to help with this, and I hope I’m being realistic to think it won’t be major for me, but no doubt there will be some. And I hope I’m cool with it. I tell myself that right now I don’t look good dressed OR naked, so at least losing 120# I would look good dressed. But the truth is I just want to FEEL good and I need to lose significant weight to feel good. So I will take the saggy skin in whatever degree it comes. I don’t aspire to work for Victoria Secret. And who knows….maybe, just maybe, if I am able to become super athletic, over the years the saggy skin will tighten itself up a bit. Because of my raging muscles lol - I can’t wait to be an Active Person and lead an Active Lifestyle! So I know all the things I want to do: weight training, spinning and/or cycling, long distance hiking, surfing, stand up paddle boarding, zumba, other dancing, pilates, yoga, maybe jogging??, rock climbing, horseback riding, tennis, racquet ball….I just wonder which one will be my favorite? I sooooo look forward to finding out! - And the elephant in the room of course is – will I have complications? I don’t want to get too much into this particular topic. Suffice to say I have read the stories on VST of the folks who have had complications while healing. This is part of the soul searching I talked about at the beginning of this post. I understand there are serious risks to this very drastic surgery. It makes me a little sad to think that I have gotten to the point where I know that my quality of life and my hopes for the future are worth the risks of this surgery. But I truly believe this is the case. I will be a model patient, and I have faith in my surgeon & his team,........and the rest is in God’s hands. If I have complications, I pray He sees fit to bring me through it so I can stick around and do good things for the world.

thanks everyone! I know the majority of my questions are of the just-have-to-wait-n-see variety. I hope to come back in a few months and be able to answer each one with my personal experience. LifetimeLoser! girl! I read today that you've actually achieved your goal of 30lbs! Awesome! You're doing so well and it sounds like physically you're doing really well as far as recovery from the surgery. I'm so glad! I will ask Dr F for a pic. I'm sure it will be lovely. lol. OOh you should post yours on the board though! People would love to see! Juny-- I think you're on to something there! I really think, now that you mention it, that 6 mos psych counseling would be infinitely more beneficial than nutritional counseling for most of us. I know me for sure. I've never been afraid to ask for help, so there's no stigma as far as I'm concerned. I ~know~ all the proper diet guidelines. I was a leader for WW years ago for goodness sake! My problem is that I cannot control myself to follow it. And in a way, it messes with my head even more knowing what to do but not being able to do it! I had a dream the other night where I was going into surgery and this disembodied voice said "you need to deal with your food addiction". Ha ! Not very symbolic for a dream is it? My subconscious was being pretty darn straightforward! Lyra My mom was a military kid, and her philosophy has always been to "walk it off". I've teased that even if I broke my leg she would tell me to "walk it off". BUT...she had a double knee replacement and the reason she has full range of motion now & better than ever is because she was so good about getting up and walking during her recovery!

Lyra you're a sweetheart for having read my whole long-winded post and given me some answers from your personal experience. Thank you! I also REALLY like your attitude about no remorse. I don't think I'd ever regret it, because I want this change so badly, and I WANT food to not be the focus of my life anymore. So I won't regret it if I don't love food anymore. I think perhaps any remorse I might have will be if I'm hurting a great deal in recovery. I'll just have to enjoy pain meds and know it will get better. If being in a lot of pain even happens. ......Ah, I see that I am worrying about something that may not even happen...that's not very productive is it? Oooh kickboxing! I hadn't even thought of that! That sounds awesome and I'm adding it to my list!! I loved reading about your experiences. You've definitely helped. Thank you!

I like the lines of the dress. Beautiful!

I agree! My sneaking suspicion (and I'm not alone) about the obesity epidemic is that it has its roots in the processed foods that most Americans have come to live on. We live our lives on them and our health spirals down while our weight goes up. Unprocessed, regular food "like peas, chicken, tofu, salad, fish" is no doubt the best way to eat. So while protein shakes n bars n bastard cheetos have their place, they too are really just more of this processed food . We need to get away from the "because it's convenient" mentality as much as possible and have a "because it's good for me" mentality!

what a COOL career you have!! I always thought highly of the people behind Sesame Street, but it's nice to hear that my gut-feeling was right. How wonderful for you! And, now you've got that positive momentum in your life, you can just keep getting better n better! Congrats on your surgery and your success and all the wonderful things that have happened. I know you have a happy life ahead of you and continued success! I'm so excited for you

ironic isn't it?!

serendipity thanks for clearing up my misunderstanding of the bypass. honestly when i learned they rearrange everything i said "no thank you" ! and the bit about turning your intestine into a stomach...just ewww

OK so here's what Ive read/heard: The part of the stomach that is removed is the really stretchy part (as opposed to gastric bypass, which leaves the real stretchy part so sometimes that will stretch). With the sleeve, you would have to consistently eat excessively, like to the point of being sick to get it to somewhat stretch, and I mean, you'd have to be making yourself absolutely sick almost all the time to accomplish this. So, unlikely it ruly "stretched". HOWEVER, the stomach is swollen and there is a lot of restrictiion in the beginning that will relax over time as the body heals and I suppose some could interpret this as stretching. Bottom line though is like what laura said -- you can always find a way to eat CRAP and gain weight back. You won't be eating huge volume again but you can find nasty unhealthy dense food that fits just fine, or slides right through, or you can find things that slide through and allow you to graze. I know that when I get sleeved I will be committing to eating a different way to maximize the sleeve as a tool. It's so cliche but it makes so much sense -- the sleeve is a tool to finally make a lifestyle change that shows good long lasting resullts with my weight problem. Fill up on protein, then veggies & fruit, and carbs if there's any room left. Once I've got some weight off me, I will become more active, and that in turn will also help me control my weight. I have read posts of veterans, and those who commit to changing their life style -- eat right and enjoy exercise, have long term success. Those who don't get active and find the junky food again, don't. I think saying the sleeve stretched is a cop out and illustrates that the person looked at getting sleeved as a 'magic bullet' and didn't commit to the lifestyle change. That's just my opinion. . . .I'll climb off my soap box now . . .

Like an allergic reaction? If so, do you know wha they were made of that you're reacting to? I ask because I have some contact allergies & this possibility worries me! To OP -- I've read that several people have really liked having and abdominal binder post-op, just to give some support to the belly. Maybe that would help?

You are looking gorgeous! Congratulations!

Just wanna say that I love your posts! You crack me up & always have great pics to go along with. Thanks for being entertaining AND inspiring!

I am so excited for you! I love your attitude, and I love that you have plans to keep your new, healthy body active and have fun doing it! It's obvious that you're loving life I hope I can be very much like you when my time on the "loser's bench" comes, because you seem to have found the right path to health of the body, mind and soul. You're an inspiration for sure! Congratulations in your accomplishments!

that made me lol

I was just like you -- hoping for apnea lol. I was pretty sure I had it. But alas, I do not have it -- just snoring I figured it out when they never woke me up to put a CPAP on me. So I didn't have to wait for the results, but I eventually got them. I had to tell myself that it was actually good news because apnea is not good for you, but gee that would've helped with my "borderline" BMI and insurance approval. Oh well. It is what it is. All in all, it was at least a very interesting experience to do the sleep study. It's bizarre to me that someone's job is to stay up all night watching people sleep!

Any idea when you will be cleared to do more than just walk?

awesome L, just AWESOME! I'm so happy for you. Can't believe it will be a week tomorrow -- you are a trooper! Looking forward to hearing what Doc says at the 1 week check up!

bronchitis sux! Did the pain start along side the bronchitis? I ask because once when I had it, I actually cracked a rib from coughing so hard! Otherwise, I dunno what it could be --- lol especially since you don't HAVE a gall bladder!

your #2 question makes me think you might be having some gall bladder symptoms because of where you're describing the pain (right side, under ribs, radiating to the back) It's almost text book of what the top symptoms are for gall bladder attack. Might want to ask the doc before it sucker punches you! Hope you feel better SOON! And congrats on your absolutely awesome success

Brilliant! What a great strategy! I'm going to do this too!!! thanks for sharing

Reading your post, I know I would react the same way! I can't stand pushy sales people in any venue, and I don't think it's appropriate in the dr.'s office! It sounds like you've got a good head on your shoulders though and have learned enough about the surgery to know what your options are. I'm still pre-op, but my understanding is that for most people protein shakes/drinks ARE a big part of our lives after surgery, tho I don't think they're mandatory. I *think* some people taper off from them completely, and some people continue to drink them years after. I know of course you have to go through a liquid diet phase immediately after surgery while you're healing. However, so long as the nutrition is comparable, if you find a more cost effective brand elsewhere you shouldn't be bullied into buying from your NUT.

Let's have a round of applause for supportive husbands! (And wives too of course!) I know that my husband is going to be the single most important source of support for me, and I am so grateful that he loves me so much! It made me think of him when you wrote "My husband says I am sexy whatever size I am, but my health is what matters." With spouses like this cheering us on, we'll do great!

Aloha! Sounds like you are doing beautifully! I'm so glad! Thank you SO much for the blow-by-blow Sounds like the drugs are pretty good! Interesting about the smell :/ Of all the things that I have thought will be weird with this journey...I wouldn't have guessed body odor! At least not right away... And hooray for the fart! hahahaahaha So does the liquid in the protein you drink count toward your overall fluid quota ? Keep on rockin girl! Congrats to you!

oh how frustrating to think you're all set and then have a new twist! You sound like a really organized person, so I bet this threw you a bit! But you also sound like you have a good humour about it and I think that's really important I guess it's really for the best that they're checking every thing and being cautious, right? Good luck with the test, let us know how it goes!

good for you! And best of luck! No doubt you will really appreciate being 30 lbs lighter when you're on the elliptical Congrats on your your continued success -- I am soooo looking forward to being there too