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Hi All,

First of all, sorry for the long message (I also posted this in the Self-Pay & Mexico forum, but I would like advice from my sistas and brothas here as well). I'm new here--I've actually been lurking for about a week, but I just decided to join. I've been overweight all my life and I've been considering WLS off and on for years, but I just told my bf and my bff about it this week and they aren't being entirely supportive. My bf is supportive of me having the surgery, but he's against me going to Mexico to have it, although he won't (and can't) stop me from doing it. My bff is the person I asked to travel with me and she's not totally against it, but she is adamant that she won't travel to Tijuana because she thinks it's too dangerous, so she'll only go with me if I get it done in Cancun or Puerto Vallarta, which is more expensive (but she also started crying at the thought of me going alone). She also wants me to wait a year and to go on a diet and exercise plan with her (mind you, she's only 30 lbs overweight) to see if I can lose enough weight that I'll change my mind.

I'm a grad student, so I don't have a lot of money, so the added expense of going to Cancun or PV is significant. I'm also 37 and I really felt like I dodged a bullet when I was told after my last checkup that I don't have diabetes--diabetes runs on both sides of my family and my mom was diagnosed as diabetic in her 40s, so I feel like a ticking time-bomb. I could actually give a grocery list of all of the obesity-related health issues that run in my family, which is the main reason I don't want to wait anymore. Since I am in school (and spending the winter holidays with loved ones), the earliest that I can get it done is spring break (end of March), which I think is my preference. I have also considered waiting until summer break, just in case I need more than a few days to recuperate, but I would want to do it at the beginning of the summer. If I wait until the end of the summer, I might be able to talk my bff into going with me since that would be a 9-month wait from now, which is sort of close to a year--I am not willing to wait exactly a year because I'll be in the same situation with being in school and unable to go until the end of March. The problem is, even if I wait until the end of summer to get her to go, I will wind up having to pay at least $1500-$2000 more (surgery and airfare) to go to someplace that she feels comfortable. So my dilemma is: do I go in March (to TJ) and hope that I don't have any issues returning to school the following week, do I go in June (to TJ) when I have more time to heal without having my school/work commitments, or do I go in August (to Cancun or PV) when I hope my bff would go with me, although this means a lot more money? I mostly feel okay with going alone until I start to think about what happens if something does go wrong, so any advice and/or words of encouragement would be appreciated.

PS. My thoughts and prayers are with everyone who just got sleeved or are just about to, as well as with everyone else, no matter where you are in your journey!

Hi All,

First of all, sorry for the long message. I'm new here--I've actually been lurking for about a week, but I just decided to join. I've been overweight all my life and I've been considering WLS off and on for years, but I just told my bf and my bff about it this week and they aren't being entirely supportive. My bf is supportive of me having the surgery, but he's against me going to Mexico to have it, although he won't (and can't) stop me from doing it. My bff is the person I asked to travel with me and she's not totally against it, but she is adamant that she won't travel to TJ because she thinks it's too dangerous, so she'll only go with me if I get it done in Cancun or PV, which I'm sure you all know is more expensive (but she also started crying at the thought of me going alone). She also wants me to wait a year and to go on a diet and exercise plan with her (mind you, she's only 30 lbs overweight) to see if I can lose enough weight that I'll change my mind.

I'm a grad student, so I don't have a lot of money, so the added expense of going to Cancun or PV is significant. I'm also 37 and I really felt like I dodged a bullet when I was told after my last checkup that I don't have diabetes--diabetes runs on both sides of my family and my mom was diagnosed as diabetic in her 40s, so I feel like a ticking time-bomb. I could actually give a grocery list of all of the obesity-related health issues that run in my family, which is the main reason I don't want to wait anymore. Since I am in school (and spending the winter holidays with loved ones), the earliest that I can get it done is spring break (end of March), which I think is my preference. I have also considered waiting until summer break, just in case I need more than a few days to recuperate, but I would want to do it at the beginning of the summer. If I wait until the end of the summer, I might be able to talk my bff into going with me since that would be a 9-month wait from now, which is sort of close to a year--I am not willing to wait exactly a year because I'll be in the same situation with being in school and unable to go until the end of March. The problem is, even if I wait until the end of summer to get her to go, I will wind up having to pay at least $1500-$2000 more (surgery and airfare) to go to someplace that she feels comfortable. So my dilemma is: do I go in March (to TJ) and hope that I don't have any issues returning to school the following week, do I go in June (to TJ) when I have more time to heal without having my school/work commitments, or do I go in August (to Cancun or PV) when I hope my bff would go with me, although this means a lot more money? I mostly feel okay with going alone until I start to think about what happens if something does go wrong, so any advice and/or words of encouragement would be appreciated.