AmberDawn

So 2 weeks now until surgery. HOLY CRAP! Started the preop diet today. I knew this preop diet was going to be hard.. but damn, it's REALLY hard.(twss) I tried the premade Muscle Milk Light in Chocolate and YUCK, was hard getting that down, though it did keep me satisfied for 4 hours. But i did order the Muscle Milk Light chocolate powder, it should be here tomorrow. I'm hoping it will be better with skim milk and making it on my own. I'll probably end up also getting Chike in chocolate from my Dr since i liked the sample they gave me. Still need to get a multi vitamin from them since my other is almost out. Did go get some healthy shopping done today for the preop dinners. Chicken, pork and lots of different veggies. I swear the store was like a bad food gauntlet, everywhere i turned there was something yummy taunting me. I think i skilled up my willpower by 100 that trip. I went in for my preop lab work today also. Had blood drawn and an EKG, and was given the breathing thingy to start using 10x a day. Took a tour of the surgery center, it was pretty nice, the patient rooms are huge with free tv and wifi and a sofa sleeper for a guest to stay the night. Actually got in my 64oz of water today. That was difficult. Felt like i had to pee just about every hour. Dinner was: 3oz of one of those already made rotisserie chickens and steamed broccoli and fresh baby carrots. 3oz of meat is NOTHING or so my stomach still says lol Already down 3 pounds since my starting weight. Will probably be more in the morning after today. These next 2 weeks are going to be tough. Definitely need to find something to preoccupy myself to keep my mind off of food. I refuse to fall back into my bad habits. *** Edit 11/29 *** I was so hungry by bedtime last night I drank a 1/4 bottle of one of my protein shakes. It at least killed the hunger enough for me to go to sleep. But I've done good getting in my 64oz of water these past 2 days. I was happy to see that I dropped 3 more pounds this morning. At least the torture is paying off. Speaking of torture i went to lunch with my hubby today and sat there drinking water while he ate yummy thai food. I'm beginning to really resent food, i'm trying my hardest to keep a positive attitude and i've been making a list of reasons i'm doing this, so anytime i'm doubting it i can look at this list and get back on track.

Wow sorry to hear there are those that are even more tortured lol Guess I'm lucky getting 1 meal in.

24 days out from surgery. My first blog. Figure I've lurked on this forum long enough. Time to actually get involved, maybe it will make this whole process seem more real. Right now it hasn't really sunk in yet that in less than a month my life will be changed forever. I guess I've been on auto pilot since I took the next step and setup my psych eval and diet appointment. I went to the mandatory seminar back on August 20th with my husband and had kind of decided on the band but was thinking about the sleeve also. I then went to my consultation on August 26th and decided the sleeve would be a better option for me. My Husband expressed concerns over the risks of dying since there's a higher chance with the sleeve so I kind of backed off the idea and put it on the back burner for a month or two. Then I guess at some point we had another talk and he knows this is really what I want to do, so now he supports me 100%. Now it's all been happening so fast. I had my upper endoscopy, diet consultation and psych eval all basically in the month of November. My preop appointment is November 28th and Surgery is set for December 12th. I guess that's the only bright side of having shitty insurance and being cash pay is you don't have to wait on approval. So now I'm just going through the motions trying to get everything lined up. Today I was able to move enough money over to my savings account to cover the cost of surgery less 5000 which will be put on my Care Credit card, probably going with the no interest for 18 months route. Payments shouldn't be too bad then. Also got my new "Blender Bottle" today and tried it out. I really like it, made mixing the powder in very easy. Also got a magic bullet type appliance. Figure I'll need it to get through the preop diet easier. Not looking forward to starting that on the 28th. I'm going to do my best and not pig out on Thanksgiving like its my last meal ever. lol I did try another protein shake flavor today, Chike's Orange Creme with just water. Ugh definitely didn't like that. Going to try a few more flavors before I decide on which one I want to go with. The dietician recommended either Chike, Muscle Milk Light, EAS Myoplex, Adkins Advantage, or Body Fortress. So far I've only tried Chike. On another note, my husband found a gym buddy and is going to start going to the gym 5 days a week next Monday. I think this will really help me with my process since we'll be able to motivate each other to stick with good habits. Anyways this has become more of a book than a blog. lol We'll have to see if I can keep up with this blog thing.

For me I had no problem telling my Parents and will probably tell the rest of my family after the fact. But I'm completely and utterly mortified of people at my work place finding out. It's embarrassing to me. And I think the reason is because it's admitting out loud that I'm FAT. Before I would just pretend people ignored that about me, but actually saying to them "Hey I'm fat and can't lose weight on my own" that just makes me want to crawl under a desk and never come out. Ironically I actually ended up telling my boss because 1) it made it easier to request that much time off and 2) I figured he would realize it eventually anyways. It was difficult telling him but i did it via chat and that took some of the sting off. I still don't want my other coworkers to know, but i figure after its done i'll probably end up casually mentioning it to them. I'll still be embarrassed but i've told myself to just suck it up and move on.

I've considered buying one of those ECigarettes that have 0 nicotine just to have something to put in my mouth and preoccupy myself with.

I start a 2 week preop diet the 28th also. I'm wondering if I'm slightly mental deciding to do this around the holidays. lol And so far I've only told my husband, parents and my boss( man was that embarrassing, but had to be done). So far everyone has been pretty supportive, even if they are concerned about the risks.