Confused

Hello new friends, I am probably on here super early. I don't have a doctor, surgery date, or any of that yet. I can only tell you that about 4 days ago, I got to a point where I was disgusted at the weight I've gotten to. I began crying to my mother (who by the way is 100 pounds and tried to tell me she understood) and I haven't been able to stop crying since. I hate that I can't bend over to tie my shoes, I hate that I can't keep a pair of jeans for longer than 4 months without getting holes in the crotch from the rubbing, I hate that I can't cross my legs, I hate having rashes and the way I smell, and most of all I hate that my poor kids are always bored because I never want to get up as I don't have the energy to do much more beyond getting myself to work every day. You would think that all of this would give me enough motivation to just take the weight off but it doesn't. Instead I get even more depressed, and I eat even more. I know it's wrong yet I keep eating and eating…3 helpings sometimes and then I proceed to eat what is leftover on the kids's plates because I can't bare to waste food. I'm sick. I don't know why I can't stop but it's really spiraling out of control and I need to do something. I got to talking to a couple of friends both of whom I've known for many years. One has had a lap band with much success and the other has had gastric bypass with much success. They both recommended the sleeve ironically. I'm trying to read up on all the surgeries and I guess I feel it may be the right one as well. I've been reading non stop for 3 days now and my next step is to see a doctor. What are the opinions of others on the differences between the three surgeries? My other dilemma, and I know I've read this already from others on here, is am I taking the easy way out or should I just do it with diet and exercise because I have done it before? I've struggled with weight since I was a child. I come from an Italian family where everything revolves around food. I remember my grandmother would make ravioli and at the young age of 6 years old, she would encourage me to eat 10 of them. Then when I ate 10, she would encourage me to eat another 2. Then there was dessert…and never just one choice. It went on like this for years until finally I moved away from my family and decided to try and see what I could do to lose the weight now that food wasn't around every corner. I did everything from good old diet and exercise to fasting. I could never keep it off longer than a month or so. Finally, around the age of 25, after my first son was born, I took most of it off and got down to 125 pounds, which is still heavy for a 5 foot tall woman. It took so much effort that my life had to revolve around diet and exercise. I took Xenadrine, which is now off the shelves (hmmm, I wonder why), I walked to and from work, was on my feet at work teaching all day, ran 4 miles or more each day on top of that, ate absolutely no dairy and very few carbs, ate 5-6 tiny meals each day, and never ever ate after 4pm. I followed every diet tip known to man and was still considered overweight for my height and build. All that work and all it took was me taking a desk job for it to all go to crap. I had lost my teaching job and began working in an office that I couldn't walk to, sat all day, and immediately the weight gain started and I was back to 180 in a matter of months, even though I kept doing most of the other things. Xenadrine was taken off the shelves and there went another 20 pound increase. My lifestyle now would not even allow for part of that. I have three children, barely have time for myself, and I work at a desk for at least 10 hours each day. I get home at 7:00pm starved and just start shoveling the food in. I am really just doing a lot of venting here and would love for someone to tell me I am looking in the right direction with the option of surgery. I plan to make an appointment here in the next few weeks with a doctor but it always helps to have the support of others who understand. If someone thinks I should just suck it up and get myself to diet the normal way again, please say so Thanks for hearing me out and I will be around reading more and more and educating myself as much as possible. I will keep everyone up to date on what the doctor says once I get the appointment.