Globetrotter

Today wasn't a fast day but I still only ate 730 cals total. Interestingly, even though I ate nourishing healthful wholesome foods - scratch made pumpkin Soup, greek yogurt, mushrooms, my carbs are a staggering 74g and Protein a surprising 31. So, unless I make a concerted effort to get the protein in, my carbs and Proteins seem to flip their amounts hmm....

less than 300 calories at 7pm!

Yes, Feed THIS ^ I feel like I am yelling in a sound proof booth on this subject: of COURSE we are going to feel hyper anxious and messed up when we tinker (5:2) with our diet, we have a DISEASE of imbalance, self-medicated over the years to achieve equilibrium. We, like ADDICTS, have been dosing ourselves. Not because there is something morally wrong with us, but because we were trying to fix our chemical misfirings without the right tools.
I have discovered dry sauteeing mushrooms, then glazing them in chicken stock, simply sublime. So far, including my midnight snack last night, I am only at 697 cals, and it isn't even a fast day!

less than 300 calories at 7pm!

So I made it, sort of, I couldn't sleep and was still awake at 12:30, and since that is technically a new day .... yes, I had the bread. I will add it to today's calories, but I can accept that.

Oh god, it is about 9:00 and it is taking everything in my power not to do a nosedive into some bread and butter I have, and I just can't bring myself to throw away a perfectly good loaf of bread I'm at 629 cals/19 carbs/45 Protein, it is clear to me now that, without Protein Powder, I cannot make protein goal while keeping under a certain cal point.
I WANT TO EAT THAT LOAF.

"First, say to yourself what you would be, then do what you have to do." -Epictetus
This has been my mantra for well over a decade and it comes in handy once again! I did not weigh myself this morning because my scale has not arrived from Afghanistan yet, a blessing really because if I faced the numbers that I am sure it would show, I would crumble under the weight (npi) of shame and guilt and I am SO OVER THIS CATEGORY OF SH!++Y EMOTIONS.
That isn't to say I am not struggling with other emotions right now, chief of which seems to be a growing social anxiety which is completely foreign to me and quite upsetting....
At any rate, today WILL be my fasting day, I like doing a Monday, it feels like "start as you mean to go on" for me. So, this morning I am taking ALL of my Vitamins and having coffee; fresh ground espresso made in my super simple and stylish Italian stovetop percolator, with 1/3 cup raw goat milk and 2 packets of stevia, and some homemade chai concentrate. My fellow PNW chicks, have you tried Morning Glory Chai? I am obsessed with chai around the world and THIS is the BEST I have ever had. check it out.
Okay, so, I am going to push the hot sweet liquids all day, I have found that this helps curb my appetite, and then for solid food I will have chicken heads..... No, seriously!! I bought a giant bag of CHICKEN HEADS at the farmer's market because .... stock? I might have got carried away... well, I'm going to research how to cook CHICKEN HEADS now ... good luck ladies, we can do this! The food will still be there tomorrow!!

Anyone know how Brown has been? SarSar we need some pics, I need to live vicariously the dream of plastics!
Okay ladies, Monday the 22nd, we REBOOT, collectively! Those of us in earlier time zones can start us off with the first posts of the day, we can do this! Just remember, it is only one day, the food will still be there tomorrow! A trick I used to do in Afghanistan was to make hot chocolate Water, when I needed the psychological and taste bud craving satisfied. I would boil water, then put just enough of the powdered cocoa (sugarless) to give it the taste. That way, I didn't feel deprived, and the volume of hot water filled me up! I could make a single "serving" packet last me a week!
I've got a silver sheath dress that I would like to wear to a wedding in November, and a pair of high waisted black skinny jeans from the Gap that I would like to zip and button!

5:2 check in - I weigh 146.5 this week; my goal is to get back to 140 (where I was declared a skinny chick - ha); my stretch goal is a new bounce range of 135-140.
My weight this morning is a miracle considering the excesses of last week (work related workshop, with every evening out at dinner at fattening type places and wine, no exercise, Snacks all day - I tried hard to control myself, but it was not pretty). I wonder if I will actually bounce up, you know how the scale can sometimes be a delayed reaction.
anyway, my goal is to get back to 140. My stretch goal, if my body cooperates, I want to maintain in the 135-140 bounce range. I don't like to timebox weight loss goals (that is my old way of all or nothing thinking), but I visualize I can get to 140 by Halloween.
I don't track so I don't count calories, but I have a pretty good internal counter and focus on carbs. If I eat the way I have planned, I will land in the 500-600 calorie ballpark and total carbs around 20 on fast days. Basically, Protein and veggies - no wine, no bread, no potato, no milk in lattes etc. I don't have a problem with Desserts and stuff too much, it is the "alledgedly healthy" carbs that sneak back into my life. If I feel weak, I need to up carbs so I do that whole listen to my body deal which still astounds me it works since it lied to me so much in the past.
I need to do all this without slipping into a mood issue. One reason I stopped 5:2 is I started to suspect that it was contributing to mood instability, so this will be an interesting experiment.

Well, the weigh in was worse than I expected, it must have been 'last supper syndrome' though the emphasis at the weekend was more on the wine than the bread. Anyway I'm 18lb from my initial goal and I could weep because I got well down into single figures of reaching it. The gain stops now.
I'm not fasting today but I have planned out my meals, lunch packed and off to work I go. I plan a fast day for tomorrow, that might change next week as I have only just realised that my work days and fast days don't coincide this year. All work in progress and I'm sure a pattern will emerge.
I would like to keep our weigh ins/ progress reports on this thread if that is OK as we are a community and we need the input of everyone.

Coops, Kath, Swizz, you are our timezone vanguard, so we look to you to start us off Monday morning! I suggest we each check in first thing (or as near as reasonable) in the morning, state our fasting calorie goal for the day, and our goal menu for the day. Then check in as often as necessary throughout the day, sound good?

Coops, Kath, Swizz, you are our timezone vanguard, so we look to you to start us off Monday morning! I suggest we each check in first thing (or as near as reasonable) in the morning, state our fasting calorie goal for the day, and our goal menu for the day. Then check in as often as necessary throughout the day, sound good?

Anyone know how Brown has been? SarSar we need some pics, I need to live vicariously the dream of plastics!
Okay ladies, Monday the 22nd, we REBOOT, collectively! Those of us in earlier time zones can start us off with the first posts of the day, we can do this! Just remember, it is only one day, the food will still be there tomorrow! A trick I used to do in Afghanistan was to make hot chocolate Water, when I needed the psychological and taste bud craving satisfied. I would boil water, then put just enough of the powdered cocoa (sugarless) to give it the taste. That way, I didn't feel deprived, and the volume of hot water filled me up! I could make a single "serving" packet last me a week!
I've got a silver sheath dress that I would like to wear to a wedding in November, and a pair of high waisted black skinny jeans from the Gap that I would like to zip and button!

I roasted a chicken last night, using MtAoFC, Julia Child will never steer you wrong . Today I will make a stock from the chicken carcass and the vegetables. Here I am, drinking my morning coffee .....

Thank you Coops!! I have the loving spoon on my keys, the charm on my phone, the mug pad near my favorite seat, the lotion on my face, the tea in my cupboard! I am so SO thrilled, it made settling in so special, feeling the friendship across the pond <3

I roasted a chicken last night, using MtAoFC, Julia Child will never steer you wrong . Today I will make a stock from the chicken carcass and the vegetables. Here I am, drinking my morning coffee .....

Thank you Coops!! I have the loving spoon on my keys, the charm on my phone, the mug pad near my favorite seat, the lotion on my face, the tea in my cupboard! I am so SO thrilled, it made settling in so special, feeling the friendship across the pond <3

It is so wonderful to have you guys here. Swiz!!! Glad you are here, even if just hanging out... I do that sometimes too, I just don't have anything to say, but want to be in the room with company. Its comforting. We are here for you. I miss Kelly too... and think of other 5:2 members gone by....Laura!!!! Whats up girl! Hope they are all well. I agree, the holidays are coming up and I don't want to gain on top of gaining! OK, weight in day... I guess we could do friday too. Im in! Anyway, I usually fast on Mon and The, and of course I am going to a big public radio arts Gala tomorrow night, MOn. they always have wine and treats. I will fast the rest of the day and try and keep it together... I will do it again on Tuesday if I have to! Cheers all!

Do we need to send a message to Alex? He assured me in the past that it was private.I wasn't aware that there was a new ap and people are having issues.
I need to commit to exercise because I am a nervous wreck without it. I can't take those SSRI's for depression and anxiety but I really need to . When I do cardio every day, my anxiety is better controlled. For the first few hours in the morning, I feel so nervous and anxious, it's very upsetting.
Maybe they have come out with something new since i last tried. I know a lot of those medications cause weight gain, as well. Sheesh, why does life have to be so complicated?
When you think about it, everyone in our group is stressed out. Florinda has the state bothering her, Dee is really down, Sheryl is out of sorts, Sheila is trying to get used to being a mom and working full time, I am a nervous wreck for no reason at all that I know of, etc. What has being overweight most of our lives done to us all mentally?

I'm in Kim...defo back on the 5:2 wagon.
I'm doing something called the clean9 - it is a detox programme that is going wild over here... a lot of people have had great success with it for weight loss and then it has kinda re-booted them and they continued to eat clean healthy food.< /p>
So, after reading a lot and talking to some friends who had done it I thought I would give it a go.
Basically it is some aloe gel - tastes vile - and a range of Vitamins that you take daily; first two days are just liquid days and the following days are low cal with a shake. I'm not saying it will set the world on fire, and I have lost a few pounds (still in my bounce range) but the biggest benefit I have found is that my hot flushes are twice daily instead if twice hourly. I have not had monster flushes through the night and have slept really well over the last week. It is a great feeling to sleep through and not wake every hour or two covered in sweat!
I think it has rebooted my sleeve too - as when I do eat a meal, I can't finish it! My sleeve feels tighter, which is always a good thing.
So I am ready and focused to get the 5:2 back in and under control... and whether I lose weight or not doesn't really matter at the moment as I like the way I feel!

So glad to hear from you, and get the update. So happy your dream job is in your lap at last! So cool. I am having a hard time getting the 3-4 pounds off above high/bounce, and soooooo easy to cram an extra meal, snack, crap into my day...Lets do a 5:2 challenge here? Like Florinda suggested.... Im down for it... my mom in law is coming to town in three weeks, and happy hour will be on for 2 weeks straight... and the holidays are close behind.
Sounds like life is good.
I'm down for a two week belt tightening with regular 5:2 twice a week. Wanna play that tune everyone?

Sheryl, I totally understand your sensitivity to these anti depressants. I've tried them all. They make me feel like I stuck my finger in a light socket. The doctor said "this one is very well tolerated by most people. " I had every single one of the side effects listed that were possible. Nausea, insomnia, headache, nervousness, and profuse sweating.
I think you should meet Theo for a drink of something and let him be a friend to you. Tell him that's all you want right now.
I think I am going to go to a Crosby Stills and Nash concert with Bill. He's been seeing a counselor and saying things he's never said before. I think we can date. I just don't think we can be as close as he wants to be. He smothers me and I can't take it. Same with this Jim guy I met dancing. I want him in my life as a friend, even though he wants more. He's willing to settle for friendship.
I feel totally fat too. I have started a new habit. Drinking. I never drink much, but it's extra calories. It happens when you go out. I shouldn't drink because of liver issues. I've discovered if I eat total crap, and don't eat any good food, I don't gain. One day I had chips and ice cream and other total crap and the healthiest thing I had that day was Greek Yogurt. I lost 2 lbs that day. weird. Bad, Bad eating habits creeping back in.
I wish all of us lived close together so we could get together and just shoot the breeze

I don't want to speak for others but for me personally the greatest benefit from 5:2 is what Feed mentioned; the notion that, "hey I can always eat that tomorrow". It is really empowering and comforting and breaks down my relationship with food.

My clothes are tight too Cath, now that I am in my own home with at least the illusion of control, I am going back onto a post-op diet, to dump some cold Water shock onto my system to get this jump started again!
To answer your questions:
Yes, I am MOST DEFINITELY in a place I want to be, Seattle WA, in the central/madison park district, I can see Lake Washington from my terrace Cheryl!!
Sadly, I am not near Mum, but she came up for the holiday wknd and we had a blast, it was difficult to drop her off at the airport today v_v, we probably won't see each other again till Christmas, unless one of us wins a pot of money
I don't have a paying job yet, but I remain positive
I actually am okay with Jack not being on the radar, the more I learn about narcissism, and especially as my Mom reveals to me the extent to which my father abused her, the more my eyes are opened to what was beginning to happen, and I am grateful I got out when I did. I don't know how my Mom survived 37 years with my father, I just don't v_v...
We (Mum & I) roasted veggies this morning - we got a great haul at the farmer's market yesterday and today roasted golden beets, yellow onion, yams, garlic, pattipan squash with olive oil and Kosher salt. OMG so delish!!!! I am just plucking them right off the cookie sheet and gobbling them shamelessly
Tomorrow I have to do a lot of unpleasant stuff, go to the car dealership and have them fix stuff that should have been fixed before I bought the car, go to the DMV (Jesus save me), go to the post office and collect the heaps of pkgs that are there waiting for me, make a Goodwill run, and ..... deal with bills/med ins/etc. etc. paperwork V_V
This afternoon though, I am just going to listen to old music from the 20's and 30's, putter around the apartment putting stuff away from packing boxes, and nibble my veggies.

My clothes are tight too Cath, now that I am in my own home with at least the illusion of control, I am going back onto a post-op diet, to dump some cold Water shock onto my system to get this jump started again!
To answer your questions:
Yes, I am MOST DEFINITELY in a place I want to be, Seattle WA, in the central/madison park district, I can see Lake Washington from my terrace Cheryl!!
Sadly, I am not near Mum, but she came up for the holiday wknd and we had a blast, it was difficult to drop her off at the airport today v_v, we probably won't see each other again till Christmas, unless one of us wins a pot of money
I don't have a paying job yet, but I remain positive
I actually am okay with Jack not being on the radar, the more I learn about narcissism, and especially as my Mom reveals to me the extent to which my father abused her, the more my eyes are opened to what was beginning to happen, and I am grateful I got out when I did. I don't know how my Mom survived 37 years with my father, I just don't v_v...
We (Mum & I) roasted veggies this morning - we got a great haul at the farmer's market yesterday and today roasted golden beets, yellow onion, yams, garlic, pattipan squash with olive oil and Kosher salt. OMG so delish!!!! I am just plucking them right off the cookie sheet and gobbling them shamelessly
Tomorrow I have to do a lot of unpleasant stuff, go to the car dealership and have them fix stuff that should have been fixed before I bought the car, go to the DMV (Jesus save me), go to the post office and collect the heaps of pkgs that are there waiting for me, make a Goodwill run, and ..... deal with bills/med ins/etc. etc. paperwork V_V
This afternoon though, I am just going to listen to old music from the 20's and 30's, putter around the apartment putting stuff away from packing boxes, and nibble my veggies.

My clothes are tight too Cath, now that I am in my own home with at least the illusion of control, I am going back onto a post-op diet, to dump some cold Water shock onto my system to get this jump started again!
To answer your questions:
Yes, I am MOST DEFINITELY in a place I want to be, Seattle WA, in the central/madison park district, I can see Lake Washington from my terrace Cheryl!!
Sadly, I am not near Mum, but she came up for the holiday wknd and we had a blast, it was difficult to drop her off at the airport today v_v, we probably won't see each other again till Christmas, unless one of us wins a pot of money
I don't have a paying job yet, but I remain positive
I actually am okay with Jack not being on the radar, the more I learn about narcissism, and especially as my Mom reveals to me the extent to which my father abused her, the more my eyes are opened to what was beginning to happen, and I am grateful I got out when I did. I don't know how my Mom survived 37 years with my father, I just don't v_v...
We (Mum & I) roasted veggies this morning - we got a great haul at the farmer's market yesterday and today roasted golden beets, yellow onion, yams, garlic, pattipan squash with olive oil and Kosher salt. OMG so delish!!!! I am just plucking them right off the cookie sheet and gobbling them shamelessly
Tomorrow I have to do a lot of unpleasant stuff, go to the car dealership and have them fix stuff that should have been fixed before I bought the car, go to the DMV (Jesus save me), go to the post office and collect the heaps of pkgs that are there waiting for me, make a Goodwill run, and ..... deal with bills/med ins/etc. etc. paperwork V_V
This afternoon though, I am just going to listen to old music from the 20's and 30's, putter around the apartment putting stuff away from packing boxes, and nibble my veggies.

I am BACCK! and it is raining and I am thrilled. Easy to follow 5:2 since there is no food in my apartment, just tea and coffee and Protein Drinks Oh, and I have even more dates lined up now .