Globetrotter

Today's food: Breakfast - coffee with coconut sugar and coconut milk
lunch - a paleo brownie - avocado, coconut flour, bitter chocolate powder, chia "egg"
dinner - a piece of paleo pizza - cauliflower crust, my alfredo "sauce", arugula
dessert - dollop of greek yogurt with grain-free granola
I have a date to watch game 2 of the world series (GO GIANTS!!!!) so I might have a hard cider, otherwise I think it's a decent menu...
Hey my other PNW gals, hooray for heavy rainy fog! I've got the blankies piled high, a steaming cup of coffee, and this means later today I will be able to wear my Hunters rainboots!

I've never liked the pizza itself, I've always wanted to just pick off and eat the toppings of melty cheese and crispy salty pepperoni. When I have access to a kitchen again I will try the "pizza bites" recipe from "The World According to Eggface" blog - they give the pizza deliciousness but are high Protein low carb.

Sat in a cafe in Split (Croatia) drinking coffee in the autumn sunshine. We are in Diocletian's Palace- he was a Roman geezer and he knew how to build. The place is amazing and it is wonderful to be sat amongst so much history.

went to my first kizomba class last night, fun! But even more physically intimate than tango so, potential for awkwardness! then I went on a date with a very cute lawyer from Detroit who just moved here, I think he was less in to me by the end of the date than at the beginning though, so ...
After that date I went to tango where I had a few delicious sets, makes me impatient to lose all this $h!tty excess weight so that I can wear the pretty shoes!
BTW - drop what you are doing and immediately go purchase Fit Frappe spiced chai Protein Powder and Chike coffee Protein powder!!!! I am 4 years post op and have always been a protein powder girl and NEVER have I EVER had protein powders as delicious as these!!!! I decided to make a "dirty chai" from them so wizzed up the Chike with Water and then added in a 1/3 serving of the Fit Frappe, then poured over ice. If I didn't know better, I would have SWORN I was drinking some 600 calorie concoction from Starbucks!! SERIOUSLY!!!! It was effing amazing.
Also, here is a super shock - I am a longtime believer in greek yogurt as a protein source, par excellence. However, at the store yesterday I happened to compare Fage to Siggis (an icelandic strained yogurt) and Siggis scored better in everything! Lower calorie, higher protein, lower carb, lower SUGAR... now that I know that 4 grams is a teaspoon, it has helped trememdously in turning away from sugar. I mean, picture it - picture whatever it is you are eating or drinking and teaspoons full of white crystals dumping into it, one after another, after another ...

Today's food: Breakfast - coffee with coconut sugar and coconut milk
lunch - a paleo brownie - avocado, coconut flour, bitter chocolate powder, chia "egg"
dinner - a piece of paleo pizza - cauliflower crust, my alfredo "sauce", arugula
dessert - dollop of greek yogurt with grain-free granola
I have a date to watch game 2 of the world series (GO GIANTS!!!!) so I might have a hard cider, otherwise I think it's a decent menu...
Hey my other PNW gals, hooray for heavy rainy fog! I've got the blankies piled high, a steaming cup of coffee, and this means later today I will be able to wear my Hunters rainboots!

Today's food: Breakfast - coffee with coconut sugar and coconut milk
lunch - a paleo brownie - avocado, coconut flour, bitter chocolate powder, chia "egg"
dinner - a piece of paleo pizza - cauliflower crust, my alfredo "sauce", arugula
dessert - dollop of greek yogurt with grain-free granola
I have a date to watch game 2 of the world series (GO GIANTS!!!!) so I might have a hard cider, otherwise I think it's a decent menu...
Hey my other PNW gals, hooray for heavy rainy fog! I've got the blankies piled high, a steaming cup of coffee, and this means later today I will be able to wear my Hunters rainboots!

dinner last night: Zucchini jullienned into spaghetti noodles, blanched. "alfredo" sauce - nutritional yeast, salt, pepper, onion powder, minced garlic, powdered mustard, coconut milk, and pureed steamed cauliflower. Wiz all together until a smooth creamy sauce, adjust seasonings to taste. This sauce tastes even better the next day or the next, after the ingredients have had time to snuggle up together
Looking for gluten free noodles I discovered that even noodles that tout themselves as gluten free or veggie-made, ALL have wheat in them. Or if not durham wheat, then a grain of some kind. If anyone knows of a grain free noodle out there, let me know! Anyway, the blanched zucchini noodles are awesome, they move like noodles and absorb sauce really well.
This morning as my coffee was brewing, I decided to have a sugar-free day. I thought it would be easy... I reached for my Trader Joe's pumpkin spice chai mix ... first ingredient - sugar! Then I reached for my Trader Joe's coconut milk ... first ingredient - sugar! Et tu, Trader Joe? TRAITOR Joe! So, plain coffee with a 1/4 tsp coconut sugar, a slice of grain-free bread with salted butter and a drizzle of organic honey. Dinner should be easy, my "pasta" dish again and probably a persimmon for dessert. Now, I realize that I am cheating a bit by still having sweeteners like honey and coconut sugar, but that refined white powder drug is just EVERYWHERE :/

I found a great guy, with a great job, who is a "giver". Cross your fingers that he likes me enough to agree to a second date ...

Gosh, it has been a pretty long time since LauraVen opted out, 8 months?

M2G, have you ever looked up the calories burned running errands? It's more than you think, don't beat yourself up.
I made paleo muffins today, pumpkin spice using coconut flour! Pumpkin puree (made mine from scratch) Coconut flour ( wow you really only need the teeniest bit), eggs, honey, salt, baking soda and the spices, that's it! I jazzed them up with a bit of shaved dark chocolate and if you really wanted to go all the way there is a frosting (greek yogurt whipped with maple syrup). All in all, it is a low glycemic, non-inflammatory, high Fiber, good Protein snack that I can feel good about. Also, they are so packed with real whole foods that they are incredibly filling and satisfying and keep away the "need" to mindlessly gorge. thumbs up! I got the recipe from Comfybelly, in case anyone is curious, it is a site dedicated to eating without grains, particularly wheat.

If you have recurrent BV then you need a course of macrobid, it is a bacteria specific antibiotic. As someone who has recurrent UTIs I am familiar with the multitude of cures, staphisagria is a good homeopathic remedy that I have been using, you can get it in co-ops.
Has anyone ever heard of Warrior food Protein?

Today's recipe - vegan pumpkin scones! coconut flour, coconut sugar, pumpkin puree, pumpkin spice, salt, baking soda and powder, and coconut butter. I threw in some bitter chocolate chips. yum!! The best part, not a single sneeze yet!

Wearing belts is one of my NSV! I NEVER wore them when i was obese. I don't always wear them, but since I have no butt, it keeps my pants in place - ha!
I feel like my words often don't come across as supportive, so I was hesitant to respond to the very sobering wakeup call of the scale and clothing sizes - I have been there countless times and really do know the pain. My intention is to be supportive, but my own views of things are perhaps not commonly shared - I don't know. If what i have to say does not reasonant, then just leave it be - we all need to find our own way of the emotional/mental part of this weight management thing.
What I can share is my personal experience - I come from a LIFETIME of obesity and overweight. Seriously, starting about age 5-6 until my sleeve I was overweight, obese or SMO except for maybe about 2 years total during my teens and early 20s - I got slim a couple of times but freaked out and quickly regained, so I am probably exagerating to say I was normal weight for a total of 2 years - maybe 2 weeks - ha!
So, lets say I have about 40 years experience beating myself to a pulp over what the scale says and how awful I felt like I looked. It didn't work and just made me feel bad. I look back and remember weighing say 160-170 and feeling like a huge cow - ridiculous! How much better my life would have been had I been able to accept that weighing more than other "girls" was okay and natural for me? Heck, this morning I was at 145.8 and you know what crossed my mind? A close friend that is my age, is 2" taller and weighs 117. She weighs 30 pounds less and is a real hottie - damn, why can't I be that? Totally ridiculous line of thinking and I shut that down right away! That shame cycle is part of why I gained and got to such a high BMI. Shame and self loathing never really helped me and I have alot of practice at it.
I no longer feel humiliation over being up a few pounds. I don't want to regain, but I know statistically it is very likely to happen to me - at least a partial regain. I am diligent but I also recognize I am worth more than the scale or a clothing size and you are all too. I think we all need to remind ourselves that we are worthy people, we are not the only ones who struggle with maintaining a healthy weight and our value as a human being has nothing to do with how we look or what some chart says we should weigh or what society says we should look like. (or what a close friend weighs or looks like!)
Yeah, easier said than done, but for me personally, I need to be in that head space or I risk freaking out and needing to use food or SOMETHING to feed the internal demons that rear their heads. I am making alot of progress on slaying those demons and not feeding them to keep them quiet... it is an ongoing process but it feels like a good direction for me.

Don't be ashamed, you found out admitted it to yourself and admitted it to us too. I think that is important, you have reached out to us and we have to repay the trust you have put in us by being there for you and offering support. So I say "go for it girl NOW", don't wait to start Monday or the start of another month but start now.
The numbers on the scale can hurt and humiliate us but they can also make us feel happy when they start to go down. Take your current weight as the high point and take it from there.
You can do this Florinda, we know you can. XXX

I don't experience hunger either, it is one of those things that never came back for me after surgery, physically speaking feeling ill (dizzy or nauseous or irritable) are the way I know my body wants sustenance.
My things arrived from Afghanistan the other day, one of the items is my digital scale. I popped some fresh batteries in it and stepped on. My shame is so huge I don't want to share but I have to ....
forty pounds. According to the scale I am 37 pounds heavier than at my lowest at the start of April. So, I have gained forty pounds in 6 months. Correction, I have gained BACK the forty pounds that I lost last year, from October to March (5 months). This is an awful cycle and I don't want it to become a tradition - lose the same pounds every fall and winter, only to regain them every spring and summer, that's Funcked up!! I was doing so SO well, SO WELL!! I should have been to ultimate goal by now, including plastics!! It's so embarrassing, so humiliating.
But, Denise, you were right, I DO know how to lose it, and what is required and as much as these are "dirty words", it is going to take some discipline and some self-control and a DIET. It took 3 months to take off these pounds before (I lost a month and a half because my approach was all wrong and I was exercising and eating wrongly etc).
So, my New Year's resolution starts now: I vow to make the greatest effort I can, toward achieving the goal of losing this regain by Christmas. This time, I understand my body so much better than I ever did, I understand that I cannot get strong and fit at the same time as lose weight, that is just not how my body chooses to work. So, this time, I am going to only focus on my diet FIRST, get to goal, and THEN focus on fitness. It isn't the cookie-cutter model we have been forced to accept as the only truth for every body, but it is the truth of my body.

Denise do you know how badly I would LOVE to be 141?? I would love to be 150...
However, I'm not trying to be blue today, I just had lunch and it was pretty good, it was vegan mac n cheese! I made the "cheese sauce" from almond milk, nutritional yeast, pumpkin puree, and spices. The noodles are blanched zucchini "noodles". The pumpkin puree is homemade from roasted pumpkin which is just solid nutrition and fiber and all good things, really my only calories are coming from the almond milk and the pumpkin yet I am so full and it is so yummy!!

I weighed yesterday morning and I lost 2lb for the week. I'm really pleased with that because the second half of the week was heavy eating and drinking.
I had a lovely weekend with my mum and aunt, I'm tired now because I worked a full on 9 hr shift on Thursday then drove straight to her house (200 miles), stayed overnight the brought them back here Friday. Sat, Sun and Mon were busy then I drove them home again and stayed over last night. I got up early this morning so I could get home and relax for the rest of the day as I have work tomorrow.
We have a funny relationship I love her to bits but it isn't always reciprocated and I'm always trying to please. I'm 1 of 6 with 4 brothers and she has always favoured her sons. My mum has had a hard life my father died just before the youngest was born and to be a single parent in the 60s in the UK was really difficult. I was just nearly 7 and had to grow up really quick and had to take on a 'caring' role even at that young age. The household was typically northern in that it was masculine and the males were everything. I had to give up my chair if one of my brothers came in and wanted the seat! My mum in many ways has given me little but in another way she gave me everything. I was the first child (I'm number 4) to be able to stay on school past 16 and so I got educated and went of to university. The place I come from is not too nice and so I used that education to get away. I'm the one who takes care of her though even though I live far away, I sort out the bills and any administration. I wish we were closer, she has mellowed with age but I don't think we will ever have that close mother/daughter relationship. I feel sad about that.
I think I will try and fast tomorrow. Is there any missives out there about fasting on 2 days together ie Wed and Thurs? I'm sure your not supposed to are you?

Today was supposed to be a fast day but I'm already at 1000 cals AND I have a date tonight! Danced tango last night for 3 hours, it was AWESOME but I am drained.

Today was supposed to be a fast day but I'm already at 1000 cals AND I have a date tonight! Danced tango last night for 3 hours, it was AWESOME but I am drained.

Today was supposed to be a fast day but I'm already at 1000 cals AND I have a date tonight! Danced tango last night for 3 hours, it was AWESOME but I am drained.

OH MY GOD COOPS, YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I know how long they have been putting up a wall of resistance at work, the hugest most excited congratulations from across the pond my dear!! Wish I was there with you and the girls for drinkies, tie one on for me!!!! <3 <3 <3

Georgia, you have 50 calories to play with and still be considered within an excellent fast day range, that's a small handful of almonds, or some sunflower seeds, or a half pack of hot cocoa made with Water or a serving of cheddar or a dollop of greek yogurt with a few berries.
I made the BEST most moist muffins EVER made in the HISTORY OF MUFFINS, and they are paleo, yes, paleo!!
5 TBS EV coconut oil
2.5 cups almond flour
2 TB coconut flour
1/4 tsp salt
2/3 tsp baking soda
3 eggs
3 oz choc chips that were dusted with corn starch or something else to keep them from sticking in your tin
20 minutes at 325. Light! MOIST! low carb! Good fats! Protein!! SATISFYING! CHOCOLATE!!!!!!
7pm and 450 cals, best I can figure anyway, it is always a little wonky when I am figuring out the calories from something homemade, I have to put down every ingredient I used and then guesstimate how much of that ingredient was in a serving :/ I will probably have a tin of sardines after tango (NOT before ) so my cals will probably be about 600ish.

It is nearly 7pm on the west coast, the witching hour, when warm food smells start wafting through the air, tempting. So far I have had 399 cals/31protein/19 carbs and not nearly enough liquids, maybe 20 ounces now that I think about it! crap! I am going to put the kettle on right now... okay, kettle is on, with 40 ounces in it!
So, I can tell that there is a MASSIVE difference in my mood and emotions without the self-medication through carbs, quite serious! I am not a psychiatrist but I would call myself manic today; highly irritable one minute, weeping the next second, flitting from one task to another, and my skin is crawling!
My solid food today is a salad with homemade basil vinaigrette, smoked salmon, and probably some beef marrow later for the satiation from the rich fat. Also, maybe some of my "cocoa water" before bed. That will probably bring my cal count to about 650, I am less concerned with overall cal count then I am of carb count, I would like to keep them under 40.
Swizz, I utterly feel your pain. My sleeve sister, I feel you. When I went to Germany I was the smallest I have been and bought the loveliest clothes. They do not fit me now. I have gone to Goodwill, and with averted eyes, bought things in sizes that break my heart. Suffice it to say, your "shame" size of a 10 was my triumph size so ....
Chimera - is there any literature out there you would recommend for disordered eating? I know this is a safe place for me to be honest, you guys will get it - with so much of my life frightening and unknown and dangerous, my food is the ONE thing I can control, and so for probably all the wrong reasons, 5:2 is bringing me comfort right now...
I would love to hear from Brown, if you are reading this Brown but don't want to talk right now, know that you are an incredible resilient woman whom we admire <3
check this out y'all....
http://www.upworthy.com/the-mirror-that-changes-the-way-women-look-at-themselves-for-the-better?g=2&c=ufb1

OH MY GOD COOPS, YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I know how long they have been putting up a wall of resistance at work, the hugest most excited congratulations from across the pond my dear!! Wish I was there with you and the girls for drinkies, tie one on for me!!!! <3 <3 <3

fasting day today, probably about 650 cals, homemade vegetable broth, sardines, coffee with milk, and probably some greek yogurt for dessert.