lisacaron

So I have done exceptionally well in the past with my weight loss. I was banded in May 2010 and proceeded to lose about 120 pounds. I was eating right, exercising minimum 5 days a week. I even ran a 10K! Then last January I got a bad ankle injury and was in a boot for 3 months and then had to go to Physical Therapy for another 3 months. My exercise took a huge hit and that one injury completely derailed me .... physically and emotionally! I ended up getting depressed and gained 20 pounds last year and I am PISSED at myself!
So here I am, a year later, still clawing my way to find my motivation and get back on track. Its funny how I KNOW what I have to do but end up doing what feels COMFORTABLE....I tell myself the same stupid things I told myself before I got banded:
- "Its ok if you don't want to go to the gym today, you are super busy with other things"
- "You had a rough day, that extra (whatever) will make you feel better"
- "You can start fresh tomorrow"....
- yada, yada, yada.......
I am fortunate that I didn't gain back more weight but I feel every single one of those 20 pounds on my body and soul....and I DON'T LIKE IT! So I am going to stand in the uncomfortable truth that I have choices every moment of every day. I can choose to get up and get my workouts in (and not scroll through Facebook for 1/2 hour). I can choose to not put extra things on my salad that would raise the calorie count. I can choose to weight, measure and track my food on myfitnesspal app. I can choose to get my Water in.
So here is the manta I need to keep telling myself to get me through this tough part of getting back on track: I owe no one anything. I don't owe any apologies for gaining weight. I don't have to feel shame for gaining weight, it happened. It is in the past and now IT'S TIME TO MOVE FORWARD.
That old "stinkin' thinkin'" has to go! Time to get back to who I was, who I am meant to be!
Stay strong everyone and I will do the same!

How many times have I said OK I need to start over? How many times have I told myself just one more time…and then I’ll start again?
How many times have I committed to recommitting? How many times have I told myself that I will write down every single thing that goes in my mouth? How many times have I told myself I WILL go to the gym today?
How many times have I found myself feeling guilty because of my perceived failure?
I go through these things and more too many times to count. My weight, my surgery, the scale, the gym, food they are always on my mind. When I wake up in the morning I think I need to get a weight today so I know where I am….that’s what’s going to tell me and help me get on track! So I go about my morning routine and the scale shines from the corner waiting for my feet to step up and weigh in but I have just one more thing to do…and I walk past the scale and escape into the next room.
I have defeated the siren call of the scale yet again! Sometimes, I drink coffee and think well now that’s not a “true” weight I just drank fluids! (Really?!) I have to go to the bathroom so weighing in will be better after that elimination of extra weight. (Really?!) Oops I just got dressed for the day including my socks and shoes and I can’t get on the scale now…that’s just too much extra weight and you know…you have to weigh with the least amount of clothing…and my scale needs bare feet and it’s cold and on and on and on…..
I sit at work and my smart watch tells me it’s time to stand…it might as well read “the beatings shall commence”. It starts with the guilt trip, why didn’t you get that weigh in this morning?! It’s been weeks…and you don’t know where you are, and you need to know that. (Really?) Why are you sitting so much..you should be getting up and being more active! You should bring your gym bag in and get your butt down to the gym! (The side commentary often replies with the standard “it’s January and all the resolutioners are in the gym, working out so they can pretend they are keeping their New Year resolution to get healthy. They are clogging things up and you can’t get in there with all that going on!” Really?!) and the beating continues as I guilt myself throughout the day.
I make the “healthy” food choices and for the most part when I am eating “food” I try to make sure I make the healthier choice steering clear of the fatty fried foods, eating my Protein and drinking my Water. So what’s my problem? My problem is that I am perfectionist. It’s all or nothing for me, and either way I have to do it to perfection!
If I have a bad day…well it has to be the badest of bad days. Complete with not only with lack of exercise, but forgetting to take my Vitamins, and consuming lots of all kinds of sugary Desserts. If you’re going to be bad might as well eat the ice cream and chocolate and forget the chicken breast right?!
If I am having good day well you know its perfect right? I wake up and the birds are chirping and the sun is shining and all is right in my world. My feet hit the floor and I can’t wait to step on the scale to see how wonderful I am and what a success I am! (Usually this is where the fantasy begins and ends)
On these days it’s the middle of the road for me. Reality has woken me up and given me that cosmic 2x4 womp upside my head and for a minute the obsessing stops. It’s not about what I did or didn’t do. It’s not about what I ate, but more about what I will do and what I will eat.
I don’t need to beat myself into submission to be perfect, I just need to live for this. Right here right now this very moment. I need to stop. Just stop, and be present. Right here right now. Nothing more and nothing less.
Yes some of those moments are going to be “bad” ones and some are going to be “good” ones. All that really matters is the reality of all of these moments. I don’t have to dwell on the past or the future I just have to live in the now.
It’s really all I am capable of these days. I don’t know what it is in me that strives for this “perfection” it is now and has been a flaw of mine. While it is true that in many ways it helps me strive to learn and grow and better myself, and it is also true that in many ways it holds me back and limits me, and it will even sabotage my success, when I let it (or use it as an excuse!).
I will look at my weight loss to date and I say I have ONLY lost….as though it is a negative. When I should be focusing on the fact that I have LOST that weight and it has not returned.
So today as I write this confession, and my smart watch is beeping at me to stand up and move around and I am taking that time to do just that and to look at it in a positive way. Not saying telling myself I am a failure for not getting to the gym today, but saying hooray you are moving more than you did before!
I am not going to beat myself up for sleeping later this morning, I am going to allow myself the extra Zzz because my body and my soul needed it. I am not going to beat myself up for not stepping on the scale this morning, instead I am going to commit to resetting the darn thing tonight and setting it up to move forward.
I am setting a reminder on my phone to prompt me to weigh in and take measurements and I am scheduling time for ME. Yes I am putting an actual appointment on the calendar to do things that I need to do for me. Including making lunch, getting to the gym, and having dinner out with friends. It’s important, and if I feel the perfection monster trying to sabotage me I’m going to come back here and refocus on the moment and get back to reality of being perfectly imperfect one moment at a time.

How many times have I said OK I need to start over? How many times have I told myself just one more time…and then I’ll start again?
How many times have I committed to recommitting? How many times have I told myself that I will write down every single thing that goes in my mouth? How many times have I told myself I WILL go to the gym today?
How many times have I found myself feeling guilty because of my perceived failure?
I go through these things and more too many times to count. My weight, my surgery, the scale, the gym, food they are always on my mind. When I wake up in the morning I think I need to get a weight today so I know where I am….that’s what’s going to tell me and help me get on track! So I go about my morning routine and the scale shines from the corner waiting for my feet to step up and weigh in but I have just one more thing to do…and I walk past the scale and escape into the next room.
I have defeated the siren call of the scale yet again! Sometimes, I drink coffee and think well now that’s not a “true” weight I just drank fluids! (Really?!) I have to go to the bathroom so weighing in will be better after that elimination of extra weight. (Really?!) Oops I just got dressed for the day including my socks and shoes and I can’t get on the scale now…that’s just too much extra weight and you know…you have to weigh with the least amount of clothing…and my scale needs bare feet and it’s cold and on and on and on…..
I sit at work and my smart watch tells me it’s time to stand…it might as well read “the beatings shall commence”. It starts with the guilt trip, why didn’t you get that weigh in this morning?! It’s been weeks…and you don’t know where you are, and you need to know that. (Really?) Why are you sitting so much..you should be getting up and being more active! You should bring your gym bag in and get your butt down to the gym! (The side commentary often replies with the standard “it’s January and all the resolutioners are in the gym, working out so they can pretend they are keeping their New Year resolution to get healthy. They are clogging things up and you can’t get in there with all that going on!” Really?!) and the beating continues as I guilt myself throughout the day.
I make the “healthy” food choices and for the most part when I am eating “food” I try to make sure I make the healthier choice steering clear of the fatty fried foods, eating my Protein and drinking my Water. So what’s my problem? My problem is that I am perfectionist. It’s all or nothing for me, and either way I have to do it to perfection!
If I have a bad day…well it has to be the badest of bad days. Complete with not only with lack of exercise, but forgetting to take my Vitamins, and consuming lots of all kinds of sugary Desserts. If you’re going to be bad might as well eat the ice cream and chocolate and forget the chicken breast right?!
If I am having good day well you know its perfect right? I wake up and the birds are chirping and the sun is shining and all is right in my world. My feet hit the floor and I can’t wait to step on the scale to see how wonderful I am and what a success I am! (Usually this is where the fantasy begins and ends)
On these days it’s the middle of the road for me. Reality has woken me up and given me that cosmic 2x4 womp upside my head and for a minute the obsessing stops. It’s not about what I did or didn’t do. It’s not about what I ate, but more about what I will do and what I will eat.
I don’t need to beat myself into submission to be perfect, I just need to live for this. Right here right now this very moment. I need to stop. Just stop, and be present. Right here right now. Nothing more and nothing less.
Yes some of those moments are going to be “bad” ones and some are going to be “good” ones. All that really matters is the reality of all of these moments. I don’t have to dwell on the past or the future I just have to live in the now.
It’s really all I am capable of these days. I don’t know what it is in me that strives for this “perfection” it is now and has been a flaw of mine. While it is true that in many ways it helps me strive to learn and grow and better myself, and it is also true that in many ways it holds me back and limits me, and it will even sabotage my success, when I let it (or use it as an excuse!).
I will look at my weight loss to date and I say I have ONLY lost….as though it is a negative. When I should be focusing on the fact that I have LOST that weight and it has not returned.
So today as I write this confession, and my smart watch is beeping at me to stand up and move around and I am taking that time to do just that and to look at it in a positive way. Not saying telling myself I am a failure for not getting to the gym today, but saying hooray you are moving more than you did before!
I am not going to beat myself up for sleeping later this morning, I am going to allow myself the extra Zzz because my body and my soul needed it. I am not going to beat myself up for not stepping on the scale this morning, instead I am going to commit to resetting the darn thing tonight and setting it up to move forward.
I am setting a reminder on my phone to prompt me to weigh in and take measurements and I am scheduling time for ME. Yes I am putting an actual appointment on the calendar to do things that I need to do for me. Including making lunch, getting to the gym, and having dinner out with friends. It’s important, and if I feel the perfection monster trying to sabotage me I’m going to come back here and refocus on the moment and get back to reality of being perfectly imperfect one moment at a time.

How many times have I said OK I need to start over? How many times have I told myself just one more time…and then I’ll start again?
How many times have I committed to recommitting? How many times have I told myself that I will write down every single thing that goes in my mouth? How many times have I told myself I WILL go to the gym today?
How many times have I found myself feeling guilty because of my perceived failure?
I go through these things and more too many times to count. My weight, my surgery, the scale, the gym, food they are always on my mind. When I wake up in the morning I think I need to get a weight today so I know where I am….that’s what’s going to tell me and help me get on track! So I go about my morning routine and the scale shines from the corner waiting for my feet to step up and weigh in but I have just one more thing to do…and I walk past the scale and escape into the next room.
I have defeated the siren call of the scale yet again! Sometimes, I drink coffee and think well now that’s not a “true” weight I just drank fluids! (Really?!) I have to go to the bathroom so weighing in will be better after that elimination of extra weight. (Really?!) Oops I just got dressed for the day including my socks and shoes and I can’t get on the scale now…that’s just too much extra weight and you know…you have to weigh with the least amount of clothing…and my scale needs bare feet and it’s cold and on and on and on…..
I sit at work and my smart watch tells me it’s time to stand…it might as well read “the beatings shall commence”. It starts with the guilt trip, why didn’t you get that weigh in this morning?! It’s been weeks…and you don’t know where you are, and you need to know that. (Really?) Why are you sitting so much..you should be getting up and being more active! You should bring your gym bag in and get your butt down to the gym! (The side commentary often replies with the standard “it’s January and all the resolutioners are in the gym, working out so they can pretend they are keeping their New Year resolution to get healthy. They are clogging things up and you can’t get in there with all that going on!” Really?!) and the beating continues as I guilt myself throughout the day.
I make the “healthy” food choices and for the most part when I am eating “food” I try to make sure I make the healthier choice steering clear of the fatty fried foods, eating my Protein and drinking my Water. So what’s my problem? My problem is that I am perfectionist. It’s all or nothing for me, and either way I have to do it to perfection!
If I have a bad day…well it has to be the badest of bad days. Complete with not only with lack of exercise, but forgetting to take my Vitamins, and consuming lots of all kinds of sugary Desserts. If you’re going to be bad might as well eat the ice cream and chocolate and forget the chicken breast right?!
If I am having good day well you know its perfect right? I wake up and the birds are chirping and the sun is shining and all is right in my world. My feet hit the floor and I can’t wait to step on the scale to see how wonderful I am and what a success I am! (Usually this is where the fantasy begins and ends)
On these days it’s the middle of the road for me. Reality has woken me up and given me that cosmic 2x4 womp upside my head and for a minute the obsessing stops. It’s not about what I did or didn’t do. It’s not about what I ate, but more about what I will do and what I will eat.
I don’t need to beat myself into submission to be perfect, I just need to live for this. Right here right now this very moment. I need to stop. Just stop, and be present. Right here right now. Nothing more and nothing less.
Yes some of those moments are going to be “bad” ones and some are going to be “good” ones. All that really matters is the reality of all of these moments. I don’t have to dwell on the past or the future I just have to live in the now.
It’s really all I am capable of these days. I don’t know what it is in me that strives for this “perfection” it is now and has been a flaw of mine. While it is true that in many ways it helps me strive to learn and grow and better myself, and it is also true that in many ways it holds me back and limits me, and it will even sabotage my success, when I let it (or use it as an excuse!).
I will look at my weight loss to date and I say I have ONLY lost….as though it is a negative. When I should be focusing on the fact that I have LOST that weight and it has not returned.
So today as I write this confession, and my smart watch is beeping at me to stand up and move around and I am taking that time to do just that and to look at it in a positive way. Not saying telling myself I am a failure for not getting to the gym today, but saying hooray you are moving more than you did before!
I am not going to beat myself up for sleeping later this morning, I am going to allow myself the extra Zzz because my body and my soul needed it. I am not going to beat myself up for not stepping on the scale this morning, instead I am going to commit to resetting the darn thing tonight and setting it up to move forward.
I am setting a reminder on my phone to prompt me to weigh in and take measurements and I am scheduling time for ME. Yes I am putting an actual appointment on the calendar to do things that I need to do for me. Including making lunch, getting to the gym, and having dinner out with friends. It’s important, and if I feel the perfection monster trying to sabotage me I’m going to come back here and refocus on the moment and get back to reality of being perfectly imperfect one moment at a time.

So I had to put my 2 cents in here. I myself am a pretty confidant person. I have been thin, I have been fat, I have been super skinny and I have been morbidly obese at different times through out my life.
I will tell you that at the time I was super skinny is about the only time I felt that people treated me differently, everyone was always trying to feed me or get me to eat more than I ate at a sitting.
I know my value as a person, and therefore regardless of my physical size I refuse to be treated differently than I deserve to be. I am a tiny person, my height is just about 5'1". I might not be the "star" on the basket ball team but don't discount my skills people
I think that people who treat others differently because of things like physical stature or appearance have an issue. It's them not me...and that's my 2 cents.

Oh, I'll have to see if I can stream this episode. The BF was here last night so I didn't even think to watch this. He's not interested and when we're together, we try to watch something we are both interested in.

So yesterday at work, we had a staff meeting and sitting on the conference room table were two boxes of Dunkin Donuts. No one wanted to take one but I knew everyone was eyeing them. I went into the kitchen and brought back a bunch of knives and said these were for those interested in half a donut..or a quarter. I then proceeded to start to cut away a piece for myself and one of my colleagues said the following: 'Sure, just eat a little piece...spoken just like the size 2 that she is'. She meant it in a lighthearted way...not nasty at all and as this woman was a recent hire, she did not know me at any other size (btw...I'm not a 2) and just presumed I was a dainty eater and wouldn't have a problem with a piece of donut rather than the whole thing.
Like I said in the topic title, this is the payoff for me. I want people to know me as I am now, and not as I was. The obese person I was before is hopefully dead and buried. I like this version of me so much more. It's not just that I look better...it's that I feel better, I'm more positive, more outgoing, more comfortable in my skin, etc, etc.
No...life is not perfect. Weight loss has made my life easier but I still have issues, worries, concerns. It's just easier to deal with this stuff when my size is no longer a factor.
This exchange yesterday gave me the hope that the size I am now will be forever, my new normal.

OK to add my 2 cents to the pot stirring here....
Is that person wasting her opportunity? Maybe...but who are we to judge? Even though we are deemed "ready" for a surgery how many of us are really ready for it?
Were you ready for the surgery and all that entailed or might have if you had a complication? What about the post-op diet? Could you really say you were ready for that?! Were you ready to change your mindset and the way you viewed food all these years that lead to your obesity?
If you were well good for you!!! Many of us weren't and still aren't. There are many on these boards and in the Dr.'s office still trying to work out their mental and emotional issues with food. It's really simple to tell an addict to stay away from people who are drinking and taking drugs...but do you have any idea how hard that really is? You can't watch TV today without seeing something about the next drug, beer flavor, vodka, hard cider, pumpkin flavored everything, KFC, McDonalds, Arby's Sonic...shall I go on....?
Many patients don't have the support from psychologists and many fear seeking one out. The psych eval before surgery seems to be a simple evaluation to see if you have some obvious gross mental abnormality. They aren't checking to see if you are a food addict. They are checking to see if your a substance abuse addict or if you tend toward eating disorders....but they forget that obesity IS an eating disorder and yes the patients need treatment for such or would any of us be obese to begin with??
Not all of us can have our "tool" given to us and then know how we are supposed to use it because what works for Mary does not work for LIsa, What works for Ken does not work for Lisa. What works for Liz does not work for Ken and does not work for Lisa.
Lisa and only Lisa can figure out what will work for her....because her issues are not yours and vs versa. It's hard to be mad or upset a person when you think about it......
Following the "rules" are kind of like common core math...not everyone can figure it out and understand it. Most teachers have a hard time teaching it and most students and parents simply choose to opt out. That's what this lady did...
The point of contention here is that instead of blaming others we need to look at ourselves and put the questions we can't figure out and understand back to the medical industry and have them really look at us as the patients and tailor these tools to help serve us best.
I might wear a size 14 regular but for it to fit right I still need a hem. I don't fit into the "off the rack" sizes the way they are meant to fit because I wasn't made in a factory. I am one of kind as are you. One size does not fit all...it may fit most but it never fits all....and some of us need a little extra tailoring.

All awesome posts to catch up on! Congrats Jim and everyone is looking great and I hope all are keeping warm and thinking SPRING!!!

I love love love Hawaii!!! My hubby and I hope to retire there in a few years...
Here is a picture PRE WLS of hubby and I in the same spot John We stayed at the Hale Koa military hotel right next door

I think it's time to start making plans to go back!!

Your Mrs. did my lapband surgery a little over three years ago and about six months ago, she had to move the port under the muscle as it stuck out like a golfball...which she said was because I had no fat anymore.
She's a great doctor and the office and those who work there have been great as well. I lost all my excess weight and got my life back thanks to your wife and the office that supports her.
Many thanks to both of you.

I love love love Hawaii!!! My hubby and I hope to retire there in a few years...
Here is a picture PRE WLS of hubby and I in the same spot John We stayed at the Hale Koa military hotel right next door

I think it's time to start making plans to go back!!

I love love love Hawaii!!! My hubby and I hope to retire there in a few years...
Here is a picture PRE WLS of hubby and I in the same spot John We stayed at the Hale Koa military hotel right next door

I think it's time to start making plans to go back!!

Grand Daughter and I outside Hilton in Honolulu

So glad things are going well for you Debbie and Joe. I'm a bit miserable these days I'm sorry to say.
I'm happy with my fellow but work is very stressful. All I know is that I've crept up 15 lbs. over the last few months even with two fills and just now, I put on a pair of jeans that after a wash and tumble in the dryer, are uncomfortably tight. I'm so disappointed in myself. I said I'd never let this happen and now I'm close to having to slip into a bigger size because of the weight gain.
I need to get another fill, and go back to basics...even go back to tracking my food intake again. I know what to eat and what not to, I just am not following the plan that helped me to lose the weight. I'm posting here rather than on the main site....I need my support and no comments from people who don't know my story and struggle.
The one thing I'm not going to do is disappear. I think alot of people do when they fall off the wagon and folks need to know how hard...really hard maintenance is even with surgery.

On my way to Honolulu with my wife and youngest grand daughter.
Had to tighten my seat belt once again woo Hoo

I have everyone at my office selling Cookies for their daughters. They look at you if you say no...but now I have come up with a fool proof way to nicely say no.
I tell them I can only buy them if I see a girl scout in uniform come to the office with pen in hand to take my order. They don't want to bring their kids to the office and I don't want to buy their cookies!
Sorry I was a girl scout...all the way through to cadet and you know my Mother and Father never sold my cookie quota for me. Nope I had to go out there and earn it. I know it's not the same today where you can go ring a door bell...but really these kids are so internet savvy...they can do it.
Besides it gets me off the hook nicely and when the other co-workers bring in their boxes because they don't want to eat them all...I make sure that they put them in front of the "sellers" office and not mine. Do I sound terribly mean??

@@change4life you know I also have thought about this a whole lot! So I was banded in 2013. I have watched friends who are banded and even my husband lose almost all their extra weight while I have struggled. I've struggled with many things, health wise and yes I'm sure that is part of it....BUT I want to blame the band. I want to say this was not the surgery for me. I should have done X, Y, Z and that would have been better. I could go do those things still...I could opt to take the band out and have a revision surgery and I might lose the weight faster and I seriously thought about it as my hubby lost pound after pound and I was even starting to gain!!
As I was thinking about it and weighing things out in my mind, I realized that I have not really "worked" on this band since I have been dealing with so many other things I put that on hold and started using food to console me again. I started turning to ice cream and sweets and eating anything I felt like! Of course I was going to start gaining weight again...so I thought about it and I realized that unless I am willing to change my ways and dig deep and find out what is making me give up so easily when I have a tool that can help me reach my goals...why am I not using it?
Why am I looking for something else, there is no magic bullet all the surgeries are going to have their challenges and I have seen first hand people fail at all the other surgeries and gain back their weight and more because they never really changed their habits. So I decided that the band is for me. It's here I am here and we both need to show up and do our jobs!
It's there waiting for me to use it, and I am here and I need to use it and respect it and most of all myself. I need to find other ways to console myself when things are good bad and even ugly. food has to become what it's always been meant to be. A source of fuel to get this body through life to enjoy all the wonders the world has to offer that are not food related.
I don't get all excited when I drive into the gas station and fuel up my car. The smell of the gas and look of the station aren't a turn on...nope the excitement comes in where that full tank of gas will take me to. The things I will see and experience along the journey. That's how I have to look at food, it's an intake of resources that will get me to the next great thing. It will help me get through my day of work, my interaction with people, energy to read a book and write this post, and that's all it's going to do for me. It's not my friend, it's not my love and making it my life is robbing me of having one.
So that was my dollar's worth of free advice I hope it helps you...we are all on the same journey to live a happy and healthy life...we just have to shift our focus a bit when it comes to food.

@ let me commend you for coming here and posting your story. There are many people on the site who are like yourself, they are prepping for surgery and hoping to change their lives and they are too scared to reach out. You have taken a very big step in reaching out to your bariatric family here and sharing your feelings.
You don't have to worry about being that guy here because we are all that guy and that gal here. We are all here for each other and to support and help each other along the way. Each of our stories and journeys are very different. We may each experience similar things along the road but we are all going to relate and experience them differently.
Reading one persons journey can help another person who might have fear of something like for instance yours with dumping and it may help them to the point that they never experience it, or they may be able to relate to another who is also experiencing a similar issue.
My husband and I found ourselves in similar situation a few years ago. My hubs was facing a total hip replacement and he was so overweight the doctor told him right to his face I won't touch you, there is a bariatric surgeon in the building make an appointment with him and lose the weight! My husband was devastated and mortified that he was that obese that this doctor had the gall to say something like that to him. It was a wake up call, a big slap in the face kind of wake up call. At 46 he was over 300 pounds and 5'6". Of course I myself was overweight and together eating and sneaking "snacks" together at night was our shared habit.
That same day after we left that orthopedic surgeon's office we made an appointment to see a bariatric doctor together and we scheduled our surgery dates and did our pre-op diets together. We had surgery 3 days apart. We are both lapband patients, and I have to tell you that even though all of that is similar and sounds awesome...his journey is his and mine is mine. We experience it differently. He does not have the issues I do and I don't have his. We work together on our mindset and eating habits and sometimes it works in sync and other times it doesn't.
I will say this, he is 2 years post hip replacement and feeling about 15 years younger!!! So I know you can do this and your going to be so happy that you did!! Your wife might just join you in trying to lose some weight as she sees you working on your goals and if she doesn't...that's OK too. We each get there in our own time.
I wish you all the best of luck and know that you can come here for support any time you need it

@@change4life you know I also have thought about this a whole lot! So I was banded in 2013. I have watched friends who are banded and even my husband lose almost all their extra weight while I have struggled. I've struggled with many things, health wise and yes I'm sure that is part of it....BUT I want to blame the band. I want to say this was not the surgery for me. I should have done X, Y, Z and that would have been better. I could go do those things still...I could opt to take the band out and have a revision surgery and I might lose the weight faster and I seriously thought about it as my hubby lost pound after pound and I was even starting to gain!!
As I was thinking about it and weighing things out in my mind, I realized that I have not really "worked" on this band since I have been dealing with so many other things I put that on hold and started using food to console me again. I started turning to ice cream and sweets and eating anything I felt like! Of course I was going to start gaining weight again...so I thought about it and I realized that unless I am willing to change my ways and dig deep and find out what is making me give up so easily when I have a tool that can help me reach my goals...why am I not using it?
Why am I looking for something else, there is no magic bullet all the surgeries are going to have their challenges and I have seen first hand people fail at all the other surgeries and gain back their weight and more because they never really changed their habits. So I decided that the band is for me. It's here I am here and we both need to show up and do our jobs!
It's there waiting for me to use it, and I am here and I need to use it and respect it and most of all myself. I need to find other ways to console myself when things are good bad and even ugly. food has to become what it's always been meant to be. A source of fuel to get this body through life to enjoy all the wonders the world has to offer that are not food related.
I don't get all excited when I drive into the gas station and fuel up my car. The smell of the gas and look of the station aren't a turn on...nope the excitement comes in where that full tank of gas will take me to. The things I will see and experience along the journey. That's how I have to look at food, it's an intake of resources that will get me to the next great thing. It will help me get through my day of work, my interaction with people, energy to read a book and write this post, and that's all it's going to do for me. It's not my friend, it's not my love and making it my life is robbing me of having one.
So that was my dollar's worth of free advice I hope it helps you...we are all on the same journey to live a happy and healthy life...we just have to shift our focus a bit when it comes to food.

@ let me commend you for coming here and posting your story. There are many people on the site who are like yourself, they are prepping for surgery and hoping to change their lives and they are too scared to reach out. You have taken a very big step in reaching out to your bariatric family here and sharing your feelings.
You don't have to worry about being that guy here because we are all that guy and that gal here. We are all here for each other and to support and help each other along the way. Each of our stories and journeys are very different. We may each experience similar things along the road but we are all going to relate and experience them differently.
Reading one persons journey can help another person who might have fear of something like for instance yours with dumping and it may help them to the point that they never experience it, or they may be able to relate to another who is also experiencing a similar issue.
My husband and I found ourselves in similar situation a few years ago. My hubs was facing a total hip replacement and he was so overweight the doctor told him right to his face I won't touch you, there is a bariatric surgeon in the building make an appointment with him and lose the weight! My husband was devastated and mortified that he was that obese that this doctor had the gall to say something like that to him. It was a wake up call, a big slap in the face kind of wake up call. At 46 he was over 300 pounds and 5'6". Of course I myself was overweight and together eating and sneaking "snacks" together at night was our shared habit.
That same day after we left that orthopedic surgeon's office we made an appointment to see a bariatric doctor together and we scheduled our surgery dates and did our pre-op diets together. We had surgery 3 days apart. We are both lapband patients, and I have to tell you that even though all of that is similar and sounds awesome...his journey is his and mine is mine. We experience it differently. He does not have the issues I do and I don't have his. We work together on our mindset and eating habits and sometimes it works in sync and other times it doesn't.
I will say this, he is 2 years post hip replacement and feeling about 15 years younger!!! So I know you can do this and your going to be so happy that you did!! Your wife might just join you in trying to lose some weight as she sees you working on your goals and if she doesn't...that's OK too. We each get there in our own time.
I wish you all the best of luck and know that you can come here for support any time you need it

@@Letsgetskinny first thing is take a nice deep breath. Your band is more than likely totally fine. You were a bit tight, which is why you were having some issues eating and swallowing liquids. So they took out a bit, but probably not enough since you were so tight. At certain times over the course of the month even from hour to hour the "tightness" of my band can change. If I am sick, it's all the tighter as it tries to deal with the excess mucus etc.
Sometimes the change in pressure can also cause the band to feel tighter as can happen when you travel. Vomiting no matter how small of an amount or content causes the stoma to become extra swollen as the stomach is irritated both by the mechanics of vomiting and the bile or digestive Fluid that comes through even in small amounts. This makes the band feel even tighter.
Once they took the Fluid out you had relief and that's great. Stay on the liquids to give your tummy some time to heal from all the stress on it. Then move on to mush and then soft foods before going right back to solid food and things should "reset" and you will be feeling better and able to get back to your normal routine.
Let me also say that you should NOT leave the Dr.'s office without having more information or having your questions answered. If you have some that you don't think of until you reach the car or home even don't let them off the hook. Call the office and demand that your questions be answered, they are there to take care of you. All of you not just your band but your well being and that includes making sure you are not feeling stressed out about what's going on

So I had to put my 2 cents in here. I myself am a pretty confidant person. I have been thin, I have been fat, I have been super skinny and I have been morbidly obese at different times through out my life.
I will tell you that at the time I was super skinny is about the only time I felt that people treated me differently, everyone was always trying to feed me or get me to eat more than I ate at a sitting.
I know my value as a person, and therefore regardless of my physical size I refuse to be treated differently than I deserve to be. I am a tiny person, my height is just about 5'1". I might not be the "star" on the basket ball team but don't discount my skills people
I think that people who treat others differently because of things like physical stature or appearance have an issue. It's them not me...and that's my 2 cents.

@@JustWatchMe the only person who has to be happy about the way you look is YOU my friend. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and that is so true. So gaze into that looking glass and see the beauty smiling back at you!! Smiles are contagious...so keep smiling and pass it along, before long I bet someone tells you what a beautiful smile you have to your face and they don't need to know why...just because your beautiful!!!

So I had to put my 2 cents in here. I myself am a pretty confidant person. I have been thin, I have been fat, I have been super skinny and I have been morbidly obese at different times through out my life.
I will tell you that at the time I was super skinny is about the only time I felt that people treated me differently, everyone was always trying to feed me or get me to eat more than I ate at a sitting.
I know my value as a person, and therefore regardless of my physical size I refuse to be treated differently than I deserve to be. I am a tiny person, my height is just about 5'1". I might not be the "star" on the basket ball team but don't discount my skills people
I think that people who treat others differently because of things like physical stature or appearance have an issue. It's them not me...and that's my 2 cents.