So, I learned a wonderful thing a day or two ago. I was sitting in the living room on the couch with my husband. I looked down and my legs were crossed. WOW. I did not have one of my fingers hooked through the leg of my pants to keep my ankle on my knee. I actually had my legs crossed. I was so very happy!!! I can really tell the weight is coming off...even if the scale is slower than molasses!!!
And the scale...let me tell you about that. In two weeks I have only lost 3 pounds. UGH...so disappointing..then i cross my legs by theirself...with no help form my arms!!! I have been off this site for a week or so...I was just kinda bummed. The scale wasnt moving. Even though I am feeling better and my clothes fit. I even went through my closet and threw out 3 TRASH BAGS of clothes that didnt fit any more!!! The damn scale just had me down.
Another thing that is REALLY bothering me is my arms...they are so gross. I know my arms were big..you dont get to weigh over 300 pounds by having small arms. But since I started loosing that weight, my "bye-bye" have really been waving BYE-BYE to those pounds. (haha little joke..but no joke here...sad face) I really am disgusted with myself. I hope the rest of my body does not join suit!! UGH....everytime I get ready for work and have to raise my arm to do my hair or makeup...there they are...just flopping around... I going to do the only thing I know to do (wish I could just take a knife and cut them off!!! lol)...looks like I'm going to be joining that gym and lifting some free weights!!!
My ego had been saved lately by the other half. He has made me feel so beautiful and worth this journey. We have definitly been through our ups and downs. I have felt totally blah and ugly and fat. But he is really trying. And the best part is that he sees how hard I am trying and makes me feel good about it. Defintly a good time in our relationship.
So...a week of downs..and ups...and I get depressed anyway. All because of a scale...and some flabby arms. But I am going to do this. Never did I turn to food to overeat and feed my emotions. I just muddled through and survived without food!!! Which I am thinking now, is a milestone in itself. So GO ME!!
I go for my first fill April 29th. Ready to see the doctor and actually weigh on the scale that started this. I am still thinking either no fill or a small fill. I am really doing so good with the food...kinda torn on that still. Will just see what the doctor has to say.
Well, thats my week. Thanks for listening to my rambling!!!
Wow.. 2 weeks from today I will be in the hospital getting lapbanded. Its hard to believe that my struggle with weight loss has come to this, but i am ready to tackle it head on.
Lets rewind. I am 33 years old and in live in Tallahassee Florida, home to my beloved seminoles. I am happily married and have a 5 year old son named Dylan. Growing up I swam competitively from the time i was six years old through college. Although i had to watch my weight because i swam so much, it wasnt an "issue". My eating habits growing up were atrocious..two orders of chicken fingers and fries was a regular. Once college ended, swimming stopped and the "real world" set in. Sitting at a desk 9 hours a day, eating junk and not exercising lead to a 100lb weight gain.
I have decided on Lap Band and will be banded May 9th at Tallahassee Memorial Hopsital by Dr. Eliot Sieloff. In preparing for surgery, I have read blogs and books and searched the internet...man is there a lot of stuff out there...funny how the things that stick are the scary parts.. How do you get past that? Any encouragement would be much appreciated~!!
