lunasa

Hi Girls, Thank you for your opinions advice & suggestions... I went to the apt, left my house @ 6.30am and returned at 10.30pm... Anyway, I got .5 in, taking small steps to restriction because PB and 'stuckness' really freak me out and send me into the arms of ice cream and chocolate anyway!! The anxiety I feel when I actually can't eat at all freaks me out. Hell, eating less in general freaks me out. I get the sweats everytime I think of "having to be so controlled everyday" Please please GOD grant me the courage to change the things I do to myself that cause me such hurt & unhappiness. JUDY....Thank you in particular for pointing out something I hadn't thought of. A support group, in real life, in person. Finding one will be very difficult because us Irish banders are completely ashamed and mortified to 'come out of the bandit closet' I once tried to initiate a forum on gastric banding on a message board here and my threads were continually locked!! Obviously the cyber society don't want me or my kind socializing on their precious boards! I wonder about Overeaters Anon? I know there's a monthly group near me...anyone any experience with that? Would that be a good idea for me to join? I'm going to seek out other banders / recovering OE's, I think it would be good for me to have the focus & support. Thanks again all xoxoxo:thumbup::sad::thumbup:

Here it is....black & white...the reason I still have waaay too many wobbly bits still 2+ years on... Restriction is suppose to mean "feeling full" but in my experience the term restriction means exactly that, food is literally restricted, it's not that I feel full, it's that I can't eat much, which sucks because instead of feeling satisfied it leaves me with head and eye hunger. I CAN'T eat the food, but I'D still LIKE to...so, while the mechanics work, it doesn't take care of the desire. My mistake is that I wanted the band to act more like a wand and CHANGE me, instead of the reality that it can only be used as a tool to help me change myself. I didn't and don't want to "DIET" anymore...I still have the urge to overeat regardless of what the band is capable of. Hence sabotaging by eating "around" the band, Ice cream and chocolate and alcohol when I can't get the bread & chips into me. My desire to binge is as strong today, 2+ years post band op, as it was the day I paid money in desperation to get this fat monkey off my back The only thing that has grown stronger is my own resistance. I STILL DO NOT WANT to DIET anymore..I'm sick of it, which is why I got the band and is why I misunderstood what the band does. I have given the band more power than it or I posses...It is a Band not a Wand If I didn't eat when I wasn't hungry, I wouldn't have needed the band...so how do you change desire? I have reasons why I want to lose weight and reasons why I don't want to diet...I am conflicted and as a result ambiguous!! I suck!! Only thing I can do now is come to terms with my very obvious emotional need to stuff my face!! P.S....I am going to stick to the apt to dump this on 'those with the needle', and more than likely get poked with said needle also

LOL...me too!!! Thank You Tracy, that's just it...It's all in the mind! Bummer....mind transplant anyone?:blushing:

Hi Violets!!! As usual, forgive my absence.. I need advice, I hope you can help me. I am completely SUCKING at this lap band bizniz. I am currently at 235...I was 220 Back in Feb..Have been P'ing against the wind since falling off the wagon AGAIN!! I have booked a fill for tomorrow. I have to travel from Ireland to London for my fill..It will cost me €230-250 ($300 give r take) to make this trip/get this fill. (I only want min fill as last year I was completely unfilled after band almost cut off my air supply!!) My dilemma is...Since my experience with the band when filled good is more obstruction than restriction, AND seeing that I'm obviously sabotaging no matter what is in band, am I wasting my time getting fill? I am TOTALLY caught in a cycle of emotional eating... I HAVE to deal with this comfort eating OR should I get the fill AS WELL as getting to grips with comfort eating? Maybe fill will put the brakes on even more weight gain? Please please please lend me your valued opinions girlies! Oh, and congrats Laura on your beautiful baby!!! :blushing: PLEASE HELP!!! thank you in advance xx:confused:

Hello Ladies, Thought I'd jump in here as I have just been unfilled completely also. I have been banded over a year now & thought I was a band failure up until March of this year because I was geting nowhere. The problem was that I was not paying attn to my fills/restriction. I had no restriction until March & then I finally scurried back to my clinic thinking I was a failure & was relieved to have been re-assured that without restriction the band is useless. So I got a decent fill in March, and it was good & tight & my weight loss began immediatly..gradually it became tighter & for some reason (denial?) I kept putting it down to a tight day here & there etc until one day I couldn't even drink a cup of tea or Water or anything!! So in June back I went & got a slight unfil.. brilliant, worked a treat, for a while & the exact same thing happened.. By Sept I was literally living on ice cubes & dying of heartburn so this visit ended in a complete unfill... For whatever reason I have been feeling like I'm to blame for this until I came accross this thread & see you ladies with similiar complaints.. So it does just happen like that! The band CAN gradually increase restriction weeks after being adjusted... what the bleep? My aftercare package has run out & I'm wondering whether to purchase another years worth of aftercare or pay as I go... I live in Ireland & my surgeon is in the UK.. so I have flights & exchange rates to consider also! Thanks for listening xx

Uh oh, so I flew to the UK to see the nurse about the awful tightness & after some questioning the surgeon advised her to unfill my band completely!! Well, strangely I have noticed my normal stomach has Obviously Shrunk in the past whatever months as when I eat I am uncomfortably STUFFED after not so much. In saying that I am VERY scared coz I have indulged in bread, and being able to eat un restrictedly again feels very very bold... I missed my weight watchers weigh in last week & again this week and now I find myself in the oh my god I bet I've gained 10lbs state of mind!! I'm scared for sure. Apparently He unfilled the band to give my stomach a chance to recover from being so tight, the heartburn & not being able to even hold down fluids. I was Vomiting daily. Has anyone here every had a complete unfill? He says I can fly back over & get filled again in a couple of weeks.. Do you think he's testing me? I'm paranoid that if I gain before I go back to him he'll tell me I obviously not trying & that I'm expecting too much from the band & pushing it? PURPLE PARANOIA!!!:tt2::eek:

smsmithart... I would wait another couple of weeks if you can.. you may tighten up again? That would be relative to my situation. When I unfilled a bit in une I felt quite loose for a while & was worried I would abuse it, but turns out now that I'm going for another unfill 10 weeks later again!!

Hi Girls, I REALLY would appreciate your feedback / experienced input here. I'm just trying to figure out why my band has progressively gotten tighter in the 8-10 weeks since my last clinic visit. I had perfect restriction to begin with & gradually it tightened to the point where I can't even drink a cup of tea! HERE'S MY QUERY FOR YOU.. in your opinion, would being de-hydrated tighten the band? PLEASE GIVE ME SOME ADVICE / PERSONAL EXPERIENCE / THEORIES :shades_smile:

Can't Eat.. and have been trying all morning to drink a cup of tea.. sucks... roll on next wed for my unfill!! I miss food! Does anyone know why I would have gotten progressively tighter since my last unfill in Jun that has me totally closed up these last few days? HELP!!! PLEASE!!:thumbup:

OK Laura here are some names for you to ponder over... I'll give you the proper spelling and then the phenetic (ph) (why is that word so hard to spell?) Girls First... Maebh, also spelled Maeve..(ph) May-ev...She was the queen of the fairies Roisin....... (ph) Roe-sheen.... Means little rose Grainne.....(ph) Graw-nya.... Means Grace, also a famous pirate Queen! Orlaigh, also spelled Orla... (Ph) R-la.... Queen of Gold Clodagh... (ph) Clo-Da....Deriv of Claddagh Sibeal....(ph) Shh-bale.... Meaning little Fairy Aoileann....(ph) E-lan or A-lean.... Deriv of Eileen or Evelyn Niamh... (ph) Nee-ev.... Queen of Tir na Nog (land of youth) Deirdre... (ph) Dear-dra...Irish Legend heroine Boys... Oisin..(ph) Ush-een...Also From Tir na Nog (land of youth) Fionn (ph) fee-un... Big & Strong Eibhin (ph) Ay-veen...He was legendary harpist (in Folklore) Creative Seamus (ph) Shay-mus....Irish for James/ Jimmy Cian (ph) kee-an........Son in law of High King of Ireland Brian Boru Bebhinn....(ph) Bev-in.... Melodious / sweet voiced I guess I could go on & on so there's a short list of names I've always liked. I grew up knowing kids with every one of those names, so they're genuine traditionally used names here. Not unique in Ireland, but very much so outside of the country I think. I've always loved American names funny enough.. I don't feel the need to name my child real Irish name as I will raise them to speak the language & have an appreciation of the heritage to give them a sense of thier Irish Identity. My fav boy name is Preston.. Very rare here.. If I ever have a son he will be Preston Thomas :thumbup:

By the way ladies, you're all looking FAB!! Laura..you're in the family way!! Lovely, congratulations!! Lemme know if you'd like any help with Irish names...there's some pretty cool names ya know, not just the commonly known names..and prob unique for where you live too!! (Ireland is famous for it's fairy names, I know you've a thing for fairies)

Lol.. hiya tracy!!! Hi everyone, Just popping by to say a quick hello. As you can see from my ticker I'm loosing the weight again TG!! I'm currently awaiting an unfill, have had a tough time of late with tightness/heartburn. I got an unfill back in June, after the march fill I got ended up too tight after 10 weeks?! It gradually sneaked up on me & one day I realised I just couldn't eat at all..even fluids were a problem. That unfil seemed to put me right & now again 8-10 weeks later I'm too tight again! Strange? Terri, I gather you've just lost your mother..my condolences xx

I had a fill in March and felt restriction for the first time since surgery. It seemed Ideal & my weight started to move right away. I was eating ok, small portions, no bread etc, then it gradually got tighter and I kinda just let it go. I then found myself not being able to "eat' hardly at all & was basically surviving on chocolate, Meal Replacement shakes, Milk, Milky coffee's, Ice cream etc. It then got to the point where I was obviously in bad need for an unfill. So in June I had the unfill. At first I was worried as I seemed to be quite loose, But I was relieved to be able to eat again, I wasn't able to eat fish & Veg etc and now I was enjoying being back to a decent restriction. Bread was still a nono.. It has "gradually" happened again..I have become so tight that I am now going for days without food, sometimes even throwing up fluids!! I'm booked for another unfill next week.. I have lost 10lbs in the last 3 weeks as a result...yey great but I'm not eating. It seems strange that I have gotten tighter over a period of 6ish weeks these last 2 trips. I hope my surgeon can explain it when we meet.. It must be just very individual, at least I know it happens to others... Which is why I'm posting my experience also :thumbup:

Hi Terri.. I'm so glad you have this thread on here. I'm in DIRE straits here with my band. It is wayyyy too tight!! The first week or so it seemed perfect, just about tight enough and hen I don;t know what happened but first Breakfast became a problem, and I'm only talkin smoothies or oatmeal here.. but they were becoming impossible, so Breakfast urned into Teas & coffee or slimfast drinks. That, I could handle, Then lunch became a problem, and all I was having was Soups or some light seafood..I managed on just soups and was ok as i was usually having Pasta & sauce or something light for dinner. But when lunch became liquid and then dinner became soup I started to wonder what the hell is happening here? I haven't eaten Bread or Meat/chicken since my last fill, and now as you pointed out terri, I am not able for fish veg even Water hurts now... Sometimes my own saliva causes me to be very worried... thank God My symptoms are matching the descriptions on this thread as I know now that it's just tightness I'm dealing with. I thought I was ruptured or something seeing as this tightness was progressive!! I have an unfill scheduled now for the 3rd June, which is a long weekend away from now and I just hope to God I can at least get by on fluids until then..and please please let this unfill be just enough to hit my sweet spot and not open me enough to hinder my efforts. to end on a high note.. my much longed for and awaited Goldendoodle Pup "TED" will be arriving to me on June 9th..I can't wait!!! My walking companion & new friend...Ah!!!!:biggrin::w00t:

oh BTW.. I KICKED THE SMOKING ALSO!!! I AM NOW 3 WEEKS SMOKE FREE!! YEY ME!! :thumbup::thumbup::thumbup::thumbup::eek::thumbup:

Hi girls... remember me? I'm the consistently disappearing violet who use to post daily, and then fell off the wagon! Anyway, as you can see by my ticker below I am back on track after having my latest fill in March. MY BAND IS SOOOOO TIGHT you guys!!! Sometimes I find it hard to even drink! I am vomiting quite often and the big questions is is it too tight? I have not been able to eat somedays and I use slimfast meal replacement shakes to get by on those days.. the thing is, when i first got the fill I wasn't so tight..it seemed just right for me..I could eat but only very carefully, now i struggle most days. What do you think lovely Violets? :confused2:

What is CTCD??

BTW...my ticker goal is just a 10% goal..

WATER WATER EVERYWHERE...especially in my belly LOL:thumbup::thumbup::thumbup::Dancing_shocked:

LOL Michelle!!! Boo!!:thumbup:

Hi girls!! Michelle, sorry for your friends troubles. cancer is an epidemic. I think I posted on here last year that a friend of mine was among some 600 women mis-diagnosed as having all clear mammograms!! DISGRACE, anyway..the women were recalled, NOTIFIED BY THE MEDIA, the hospital dragged their asses trying to cover it up and so the women in question heard about the scandal through the news!! Jeeeez.. Anyway, when my friend was re-tested she ha advanced breast cancer, had a DOUBLE mastectomy and started a 6 month Chemo treatment that robbed her also of her hair!!! I was so angry over it!! I was in bed tonight and I was freezing because it is freezing out (duh) our heating is acting up and I hadn't been able to eat properly today with the band..nothing would go down, so I had no inner fuel either. So I just got up, wrapped in my blanket and made scrambled egg, eh stuck too. I'm gonna have to stock up on soup for the moment. But I am happy that I know I got one hell of a fill..right now I don't care if I have to live on soup! So tonight was my weigh in with WW and I was only down 3lbs, but I hadn't a drop of water ALL WEEK!! I would have expected at least 5lbs but then my friend "REMINDED" me that I had 2 bottles of wine and a chocolate easter egg on friday (hello, selective memory!!!):Dancing_shocked: That was before my fill on sat so I guess I thought my 3 days of soup after that would cancel the bold out, but not when it's dried soup full of sodium and snacking on chocolate and full fat yoghurt! Ah yeah.. I'll make sure to be conscious of the "fun times" this week. I had actually denied to myself that I had been bad! WTF??? I convinced myself that I was justified in expecting -5lbs yet I was nervous stepping on that scale... subconscious guilt?:thumbup::blushing: My DH is a very talented Joiner (Type of carpentry) also Builder, he is loving, gentle and I admire his strength of character. Oh and he has Beautiful Brown eyes!!:Dancing_tongue:

Hi All!! BTW..there is no green beer in Ireland..lol!! We're too fussy for that!! Paddy's Day was very cold but dry and bright and our local parade was nice to see. It was more full of kids than ever and it was great to see the many outlets they have locally. Ie..fishing, sport, guides, karate, sailing, hurling etc. I spent most of my day chatting and catching up with local friends and then came home and lit my fire and watched "The Brave One" with Jody Foster..wasn't great. Is it just me or is she the same in every movie? She looks great though, very fit! I feel the same about Keira Knightley, or as I call her 'Skelator' I Bloody HATE HER!!! she drives me mad with that feckin JAW of hers, her bony ass and posh ass accent...booooooo.. I tend to boycott movies she's in. I just can't stand watching her! And while I'm on the subject, here is a short list of actors (and my pet names for them in brackets) whos movies I can't watch coz they 'annoy' me (am I mad?) angelina Jolie (goldfish face/ Mother Theresa) Kevin Spacey (Conceited man/ legend in his own mind) Brad Pitt (Founder of Brad Pitt fan club and husband 2b to mother theresa) Gweneth paltrow (She who does no wrong) Ben Affleck (JAWS) Dakota fanning (ChAdult, a word I made up meaning child adult) She's a good actress tho, just can't stand her being interviewed) Tom Cruise (Psycho) Katie Holmes (Mrs Psycho) Ah to hell with it..the list could go on forever!! lol:lol: Anyway, LAURA..just something for you to consider re birth control.. DO NOT TRUST CONDOMS as your only protection. I have been told this by numerous doctors not to mention the 5...yes 5 friends of mine who were surprised with pregnancy after taking such 'pre-cautions' Especially 'fancy' ones from the net. As for DH protesting against the delivery ward, my sisters DH we all thought would be a mile away when the baby arrived was right there, holding my sisters leg up for the arrival of his son and then cried more than the baby. It is said Women become mothers once they know they are pregnant, men don't become fathers until the birth. Haydee...your situation sounds very frustrating and I could never try to figure you guys out without having met you both and seen you together, I am quite a good reader of people and body language and can usually decide quite fast whether or not someone is genuine or not. It comes from years experience working in the bar trade and as you know I've been running my own family's bar now for 5 years, and it is as good as a phd in human behaviour. So I would have to SEE to advise, but would you consider Juan to be a bit controlling do you think? RE: TUMMY TUCK..is that what you guys were discussing before? Remember I've had one done.. when I lost my 100lbs before. It was an AMAZING thing.. I LOVED (and still do) LOVE the results. Although i am fat again, women always comment on my 'flat stomach' hehe!! It was sore sure, but nothing major really, nothing that outweighed the benefits! I would do it again. xxxx

TracyInks.. it has just dawned on me that you got married!! Wow, congratulations!! How did you feel about yourself on your wedding day? I'm sure you've prob already been thru this with everyone but seeing that I was MIA....!!

LOL Laura..they are probably the sexiest Paddy's day outfits I've ever seen, but Beautiful nd love the undies!! You're so creative! You could be a RL designer!! :tt2:<------BTW WHAT is this??? lol

Hi Girls, Terri..i love those stacking rings!! I am known for my jewellery, I have tons of it, love co-ordinating my accessories. I mostly wear black clothing so it's my jewellery that I change to make the outfit!! lol Laura, your B&A photos are unreal!! I understand what you mean when you say you keep asking "do I really look like that!" after all is is a shocking transformation. And you're sucha a beautiful looking girl. I thought of you the other day when I read in the newspaper that SL will be having a St Patricks day Parade!! LOL The Irish tourist board are doing it as a form of marketing! that's just Craazy!! So, I flew to Manchester yesterday to meet my surgeon for my fill. I had gained..wait for it..27!!!!!!! lbs since my last visit. So I am now HEAVIER than I was even at my initial consultation before pre op diet... How in the heck did I manage that???!!! So I was expecting a disappointed reaction from him and a bit of a lecture but instead he put down his clipboard and pen and sat down to talk with me. He said tell me what's going on with you. So we chatted and I explained myself as honestly as I could and he thanked me for being so honest with him. He said he sensed ambivalance from me and I explained he was right and that I most likely was because I can't seem to make the commitment to myself because of my past weight loss failure demons. He said not to beat myself up ar feel disheartened and that he has seen people go through this before, struggling for up to a year with the band and their issues and it's not always good from the get go for everyone. He said then that he has seen some of these people finally click and get going and that he believed I would do so also and never look back when i finally happens, but that I can't go MIA on them and just "give up" because I feel like I'm failing. And never to be ashamed or embarrassed to come over to get it adjusted. Soooo...I was really delighted with this chat and the fact that he took the time to be so understanding and caring with me. The clinic was running late and he was VERY busy, and it really touched me that he stopped to chat with me. So he said, right let's give you a right good fill and get you sorted. After the fill, which I didn't even feel, he's so gentle, he sent me to the cafeteria to get a sandwich and see if I could eat a quarter..SLOWLY. I only had about 3 small bites and BAM...STOP..I never felt that before. I feel right now like I did post surgery!! I reported back to him and he said "you see?" So I'm on soups/purrees for 3 days now, which brings me up to my weight watchers class on Wed. then I will follow the core plan and continue with the meetings. My baby Nephew is geting Christened here in May, so that's a mini goal for me. I am his Godmother and I also have a cousins wedding that same weekend so I am looking towards that as a goal to be right back on track and feeling redeemed!! Tomorrow is Paddy's day and it's batten down the hatches day for me!! It's not a day I particularly like as everyone just gets tanked and the streets are a terrible mess after. I plan to take a drive to surprise a friend who is hittin the big 40 tomorrow also! So there's my story girls. I really hope to get a good start when I weigh in wed in WW. I don't own scale anymore, I delibrately left mine behind in the old house..lol so I have no way of driving myself crazy jumping on and off everyday at home.