lunasa

Hi Girls, Thank you for your opinions advice & suggestions... I went to the apt, left my house @ 6.30am and returned at 10.30pm... Anyway, I got .5 in, taking small steps to restriction because PB and 'stuckness' really freak me out and send me into the arms of ice cream and chocolate anyway!! The anxiety I feel when I actually can't eat at all freaks me out. Hell, eating less in general freaks me out. I get the sweats everytime I think of "having to be so controlled everyday" Please please GOD grant me the courage to change the things I do to myself that cause me such hurt & unhappiness. JUDY....Thank you in particular for pointing out something I hadn't thought of. A support group, in real life, in person. Finding one will be very difficult because us Irish banders are completely ashamed and mortified to 'come out of the bandit closet' I once tried to initiate a forum on gastric banding on a message board here and my threads were continually locked!! Obviously the cyber society don't want me or my kind socializing on their precious boards! I wonder about Overeaters Anon? I know there's a monthly group near me...anyone any experience with that? Would that be a good idea for me to join? I'm going to seek out other banders / recovering OE's, I think it would be good for me to have the focus & support. Thanks again all xoxoxo:thumbup::sad::thumbup:

Here it is....black & white...the reason I still have waaay too many wobbly bits still 2+ years on... Restriction is suppose to mean "feeling full" but in my experience the term restriction means exactly that, food is literally restricted, it's not that I feel full, it's that I can't eat much, which sucks because instead of feeling satisfied it leaves me with head and eye hunger. I CAN'T eat the food, but I'D still LIKE to...so, while the mechanics work, it doesn't take care of the desire. My mistake is that I wanted the band to act more like a wand and CHANGE me, instead of the reality that it can only be used as a tool to help me change myself. I didn't and don't want to "DIET" anymore...I still have the urge to overeat regardless of what the band is capable of. Hence sabotaging by eating "around" the band, Ice cream and chocolate and alcohol when I can't get the bread & chips into me. My desire to binge is as strong today, 2+ years post band op, as it was the day I paid money in desperation to get this fat monkey off my back The only thing that has grown stronger is my own resistance. I STILL DO NOT WANT to DIET anymore..I'm sick of it, which is why I got the band and is why I misunderstood what the band does. I have given the band more power than it or I posses...It is a Band not a Wand If I didn't eat when I wasn't hungry, I wouldn't have needed the band...so how do you change desire? I have reasons why I want to lose weight and reasons why I don't want to diet...I am conflicted and as a result ambiguous!! I suck!! Only thing I can do now is come to terms with my very obvious emotional need to stuff my face!! P.S....I am going to stick to the apt to dump this on 'those with the needle', and more than likely get poked with said needle also

LOL...me too!!! Thank You Tracy, that's just it...It's all in the mind! Bummer....mind transplant anyone?:blushing:

I know I sound like a right whinger...but there it is in all honesty. There is the reason I am failing in black & white I have given the band a power it does not possess

Hi shoes, Are you in Ireland? What I mean by obstruction is, getting "stuck" on food, having to excuse myself after a bit or two to go and hurl it back up in the loo... My band was obviously too tight. It got to the point that I couldn't even drink fluids, it was pretty bad so I had a complete unfill last sept. Restriction is suppose to mean "feeling full" but in my experience the term restriction means exactly that, food is literally restricted, it's not that I feel full, it's that I can't eat much, which sucks because instead of feeling satisfied it leaves me with head and eye hunger. I CAN'T eat the food, but I'D still LIKE to...so, while the mechanics work, it doesn't take care of the desire. My mistake is that I wanted the band to act more like a wand and CHANGE me, instead of the reality that it can maybe be used as a tool to help me change myself. I didn't and don't want to "DIET" anymore...I still have the urge to overeat regardless of what the band is capable of. Hence sabotaging by eating "around" the band, Ice cream and chocolate and alcohol when I can't get the bread & crisps into me. My desire to binge is as strong today, 2+ years post band op, as it was the day I paid money in desperation to get the fat monkey off my back The only thing that has grown stronger is my own resistance. I DO NOT WANT to DIET anymore..I'm sick of it, which is why I got the band and is why I misunderstood what the band does. If I didn't eat when I wasn't hungry, I wouldn't have needed the band...so how do you change desire? I have reasons why I want to lose weight and reasons why I don't want to diet...I am conflicted and as a result ambiguous!! I suck!! :blushing: Only thing I can do now is come to terms with my obvious emotional need to stuff my face.

Hi Violets!!! As usual, forgive my absence.. I need advice, I hope you can help me. I am completely SUCKING at this lap band bizniz. I am currently at 235...I was 220 Back in Feb..Have been P'ing against the wind since falling off the wagon AGAIN!! I have booked a fill for tomorrow. I have to travel from Ireland to London for my fill..It will cost me €230-250 ($300 give r take) to make this trip/get this fill. (I only want min fill as last year I was completely unfilled after band almost cut off my air supply!!) My dilemma is...Since my experience with the band when filled good is more obstruction than restriction, AND seeing that I'm obviously sabotaging no matter what is in band, am I wasting my time getting fill? I am TOTALLY caught in a cycle of emotional eating... I HAVE to deal with this comfort eating OR should I get the fill AS WELL as getting to grips with comfort eating? Maybe fill will put the brakes on even more weight gain? Please please please lend me your valued opinions girlies! Oh, and congrats Laura on your beautiful baby!!! :blushing: PLEASE HELP!!! thank you in advance xx:confused:

Scrap That!!! Just had a gander to find out that it's a shake/bar programme...NO THANKS!!!

OMG did I write that? I'm the exact same. Banded April 07 and have yoyo'd between 15-35lbs weight loss...currently on the wrong side of the yoyo AGAIN....I'm really not doing this band thing well. I about to go for a fill tomorrow...ALL the way to LONDON to pay a fortune...and all to just get 1ml in!!!! I'm not getting any more because last year it was so tight it nearly cut my air supply off!!! I dunno...starting to think I shouldn't bother going over now.. I'm afraid it'll get tight again. I'm gonna have a look at that lighter life thing. Because I'm just paralysed in a cycle of emotional eating. there's no 2 ways about it, whatever the F**K is going on with me is so psychological, even when restricted I sabotage!! Band for me has sucked..It's not so much restriction as obstruction!! Anyone else?

OMG did I write that? I'm the exact same. Banded April 07 and have yoyo'd between 15-35lbs weight loss...currently on the wrong side of the yoyo AGAIN....I'm really not doing this band thing well. I about to go for a fill tomorrow...ALL the way to LONDON to pay a fortune...and all to just get 1ml in!!!! I'm not getting any more because last year it was so tight it nearly cut my air supply off!!! I dunno...starting to think I shouldn't bother going over now.. I'm afraid it'll get tight again. Band for me has sucked..It's not so much restriction as obstruction!! Anyone else?

Hello Ladies, Thought I'd jump in here as I have just been unfilled completely also. I have been banded over a year now & thought I was a band failure up until March of this year because I was geting nowhere. The problem was that I was not paying attn to my fills/restriction. I had no restriction until March & then I finally scurried back to my clinic thinking I was a failure & was relieved to have been re-assured that without restriction the band is useless. So I got a decent fill in March, and it was good & tight & my weight loss began immediatly..gradually it became tighter & for some reason (denial?) I kept putting it down to a tight day here & there etc until one day I couldn't even drink a cup of tea or Water or anything!! So in June back I went & got a slight unfil.. brilliant, worked a treat, for a while & the exact same thing happened.. By Sept I was literally living on ice cubes & dying of heartburn so this visit ended in a complete unfill... For whatever reason I have been feeling like I'm to blame for this until I came accross this thread & see you ladies with similiar complaints.. So it does just happen like that! The band CAN gradually increase restriction weeks after being adjusted... what the bleep? My aftercare package has run out & I'm wondering whether to purchase another years worth of aftercare or pay as I go... I live in Ireland & my surgeon is in the UK.. so I have flights & exchange rates to consider also! Thanks for listening xx

Uh oh, so I flew to the UK to see the nurse about the awful tightness & after some questioning the surgeon advised her to unfill my band completely!! Well, strangely I have noticed my normal stomach has Obviously Shrunk in the past whatever months as when I eat I am uncomfortably STUFFED after not so much. In saying that I am VERY scared coz I have indulged in bread, and being able to eat un restrictedly again feels very very bold... I missed my weight watchers weigh in last week & again this week and now I find myself in the oh my god I bet I've gained 10lbs state of mind!! I'm scared for sure. Apparently He unfilled the band to give my stomach a chance to recover from being so tight, the heartburn & not being able to even hold down fluids. I was Vomiting daily. Has anyone here every had a complete unfill? He says I can fly back over & get filled again in a couple of weeks.. Do you think he's testing me? I'm paranoid that if I gain before I go back to him he'll tell me I obviously not trying & that I'm expecting too much from the band & pushing it? PURPLE PARANOIA!!!:tt2::eek:

smsmithart... I would wait another couple of weeks if you can.. you may tighten up again? That would be relative to my situation. When I unfilled a bit in une I felt quite loose for a while & was worried I would abuse it, but turns out now that I'm going for another unfill 10 weeks later again!!

Hi Girls, I REALLY would appreciate your feedback / experienced input here. I'm just trying to figure out why my band has progressively gotten tighter in the 8-10 weeks since my last clinic visit. I had perfect restriction to begin with & gradually it tightened to the point where I can't even drink a cup of tea! HERE'S MY QUERY FOR YOU.. in your opinion, would being de-hydrated tighten the band? PLEASE GIVE ME SOME ADVICE / PERSONAL EXPERIENCE / THEORIES :shades_smile:

Can't Eat.. and have been trying all morning to drink a cup of tea.. sucks... roll on next wed for my unfill!! I miss food! Does anyone know why I would have gotten progressively tighter since my last unfill in Jun that has me totally closed up these last few days? HELP!!! PLEASE!!:thumbup:

OK Laura here are some names for you to ponder over... I'll give you the proper spelling and then the phenetic (ph) (why is that word so hard to spell?) Girls First... Maebh, also spelled Maeve..(ph) May-ev...She was the queen of the fairies Roisin....... (ph) Roe-sheen.... Means little rose Grainne.....(ph) Graw-nya.... Means Grace, also a famous pirate Queen! Orlaigh, also spelled Orla... (Ph) R-la.... Queen of Gold Clodagh... (ph) Clo-Da....Deriv of Claddagh Sibeal....(ph) Shh-bale.... Meaning little Fairy Aoileann....(ph) E-lan or A-lean.... Deriv of Eileen or Evelyn Niamh... (ph) Nee-ev.... Queen of Tir na Nog (land of youth) Deirdre... (ph) Dear-dra...Irish Legend heroine Boys... Oisin..(ph) Ush-een...Also From Tir na Nog (land of youth) Fionn (ph) fee-un... Big & Strong Eibhin (ph) Ay-veen...He was legendary harpist (in Folklore) Creative Seamus (ph) Shay-mus....Irish for James/ Jimmy Cian (ph) kee-an........Son in law of High King of Ireland Brian Boru Bebhinn....(ph) Bev-in.... Melodious / sweet voiced I guess I could go on & on so there's a short list of names I've always liked. I grew up knowing kids with every one of those names, so they're genuine traditionally used names here. Not unique in Ireland, but very much so outside of the country I think. I've always loved American names funny enough.. I don't feel the need to name my child real Irish name as I will raise them to speak the language & have an appreciation of the heritage to give them a sense of thier Irish Identity. My fav boy name is Preston.. Very rare here.. If I ever have a son he will be Preston Thomas :thumbup:

By the way ladies, you're all looking FAB!! Laura..you're in the family way!! Lovely, congratulations!! Lemme know if you'd like any help with Irish names...there's some pretty cool names ya know, not just the commonly known names..and prob unique for where you live too!! (Ireland is famous for it's fairy names, I know you've a thing for fairies)

Lol.. hiya tracy!!! Hi everyone, Just popping by to say a quick hello. As you can see from my ticker I'm loosing the weight again TG!! I'm currently awaiting an unfill, have had a tough time of late with tightness/heartburn. I got an unfill back in June, after the march fill I got ended up too tight after 10 weeks?! It gradually sneaked up on me & one day I realised I just couldn't eat at all..even fluids were a problem. That unfil seemed to put me right & now again 8-10 weeks later I'm too tight again! Strange? Terri, I gather you've just lost your mother..my condolences xx

I had a fill in March and felt restriction for the first time since surgery. It seemed Ideal & my weight started to move right away. I was eating ok, small portions, no bread etc, then it gradually got tighter and I kinda just let it go. I then found myself not being able to "eat' hardly at all & was basically surviving on chocolate, Meal Replacement shakes, Milk, Milky coffee's, Ice cream etc. It then got to the point where I was obviously in bad need for an unfill. So in June I had the unfill. At first I was worried as I seemed to be quite loose, But I was relieved to be able to eat again, I wasn't able to eat fish & Veg etc and now I was enjoying being back to a decent restriction. Bread was still a nono.. It has "gradually" happened again..I have become so tight that I am now going for days without food, sometimes even throwing up fluids!! I'm booked for another unfill next week.. I have lost 10lbs in the last 3 weeks as a result...yey great but I'm not eating. It seems strange that I have gotten tighter over a period of 6ish weeks these last 2 trips. I hope my surgeon can explain it when we meet.. It must be just very individual, at least I know it happens to others... Which is why I'm posting my experience also :thumbup:

Hi Terri.. I'm so glad you have this thread on here. I'm in DIRE straits here with my band. It is wayyyy too tight!! The first week or so it seemed perfect, just about tight enough and hen I don;t know what happened but first Breakfast became a problem, and I'm only talkin smoothies or oatmeal here.. but they were becoming impossible, so Breakfast urned into Teas & coffee or slimfast drinks. That, I could handle, Then lunch became a problem, and all I was having was Soups or some light seafood..I managed on just soups and was ok as i was usually having Pasta & sauce or something light for dinner. But when lunch became liquid and then dinner became soup I started to wonder what the hell is happening here? I haven't eaten Bread or Meat/chicken since my last fill, and now as you pointed out terri, I am not able for fish veg even Water hurts now... Sometimes my own saliva causes me to be very worried... thank God My symptoms are matching the descriptions on this thread as I know now that it's just tightness I'm dealing with. I thought I was ruptured or something seeing as this tightness was progressive!! I have an unfill scheduled now for the 3rd June, which is a long weekend away from now and I just hope to God I can at least get by on fluids until then..and please please let this unfill be just enough to hit my sweet spot and not open me enough to hinder my efforts. to end on a high note.. my much longed for and awaited Goldendoodle Pup "TED" will be arriving to me on June 9th..I can't wait!!! My walking companion & new friend...Ah!!!!:biggrin::w00t:

Hi All.. Sounds like this ACS thing is a right mess..I hope a reputable company get hold of it and sort things out! Allure...you pregnant? Congratulations!!! My band is tight as F***...but I'm surviving. You'd think the weight would be falling off me seeing that I'm eating feck all!! I never truly believed that saying "You're not loosing coz you're not eating enough" that never made sense to me.. Anyway, I'm down 18 lbs and in a better place right now then I was getting my most recent fill in march..my doc really filled me up..holy moly there's so much i can't eat..I'm dreaming of big juicy burgers!!! lol where are the meetings taking place? I'm down the country

oh BTW.. I KICKED THE SMOKING ALSO!!! I AM NOW 3 WEEKS SMOKE FREE!! YEY ME!! :thumbup::thumbup::thumbup::thumbup::eek::thumbup:

Hi girls... remember me? I'm the consistently disappearing violet who use to post daily, and then fell off the wagon! Anyway, as you can see by my ticker below I am back on track after having my latest fill in March. MY BAND IS SOOOOO TIGHT you guys!!! Sometimes I find it hard to even drink! I am vomiting quite often and the big questions is is it too tight? I have not been able to eat somedays and I use slimfast meal replacement shakes to get by on those days.. the thing is, when i first got the fill I wasn't so tight..it seemed just right for me..I could eat but only very carefully, now i struggle most days. What do you think lovely Violets? :confused2:

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Hi There, Haven't posted this thread in ages! I got banded in manchester in April 2007. here is my story so far.. Lindsey, I feel l this is important to know, as the past year I have heard mosly successful band stories, with people loosing their weight from the get go. Firstly..Five years ago I weighed 10 st 8lbs.. had a personal trainer and a body fat of 20%!!! Seven years ago I weighed 17 stone 3 lbs. I white knuckled over six stone off my frame and went from size 22-24 to a size 12 who could run up stairs 3 at a time! This lasted until I got engaged 4 years ago and then the weight started to creep on. I gained 7lbs the week I got engaged because I 'let my hair down' and I FREAKED out!! NOT FAIR NOT FAIR!! Was my mantra, and I became Very Very angry. I just wanted it gone, I wanted it to be fixed and never look back. It was only a 7lb gain but it drove me to distraction and 18months later on m wedding day I was up an additional stone. In hindsight it wasn't such a disaster, but I was just FED up that my sweat and tears didn't shake that F***ing monkey off my back. In saying that I was BEE-AUTIFUL on my wedding day, and I cherish those photos!! I gained about a stone on my honey moon, bringing me close to 13 stone. I tried getting back on track and tackling the demon again with weight watchers, Motivation weight loss clinics, hypnotherapy and counselling but I was totally defeated!! Fast forward 2 years and I'm at my lapband consultation weighing 17stone 10!!! So,I weighed 17stone 10lbs last year at my initial consultation, followed by a 10 day liquid pre-op diet which got me to 17stone at my surgery date. In the following 4 weeks I lost another stone, bringing my total weight loss to 24lbs in 5-6 weeks. That was it..I did the 2 weeks liquid post op and 2 weeks mushies after that and then went back on solid food. To my horror, I felt I was eating without restriction, BUT as I had not had a fill I knew it wasn't anything to panic about. So, because I fly to manchester to get my fills, I didn't make it over until June for my first fill. I was maintaining at 16 stone but hadn't lost a pound since starting back on solid food. After that fill, once again to my horror I felt no restriction and started to feel quite down that this band was all a cod and I had spent my money on what? This feeling continued and I said nothing to anyone but it was obvious there was no restriction as I could eat anything, and my mam sister & husband were kinda saying.."what's the story?" And i was feeling mortified, but "dieting" to maintain at 16 stone. This continues until September when I finally made it over again for my 2nd fill. At this point I was up 4lbs and embarrassed that I wasn't doing as well as 1..I thought and 2...as well as other peoples tickers were showing on this site. That fill made me feel no different either and I was able to eat Steak, Crisps (my worst weakness) Anything really. WITH THE EXCEPTION of McDonlds or any french fries/ nuggets/chicken gougons.. they were painful and would come back up as a PB.. So hey...I was getting somewhere. But Nope.. Depression..this band wasn't the magic wand I had told myself it was, I was putting too much faith in it, I didn't want to do ANY work loosing this F***ing weight AGAIN..I just wanted to EAT and LIVE LESS LIKE A "NORMAL PERSON" There was my problem, I wanted the band to magically transform me while accepting no personal responsibility for my actions either. After all, all I wanted was not to think about this weight loss thing anymore and for it to just happen to me! So I gave up AGAIN and said..waste of money, waste of time..once again defeated and this is how it is and always will be. My mental attitude was all wrong, I just couldn't face it anymore. So since Sept of last year, with Chips McDonalds Gougons etc being my only restrictions I started binge eating again, and binge drinking and could see my face getting puffier and puffier right before my eyes. In Jan this year my first Nephew was born and it made me face everything again and I decided to come out of my hibernation and contact the clinic again to tell them that I was failing miserably. To my surprise they were saddened for me and that I had gone MIA on them and wanted my over straight away to help me get back on track. So I joined Weight watchers again..weighing in at 18 stone 3lbs (Jesus!!) And went to Manchester that week for another fill. This one was aggressive. For almost two weeks I struggled to get anything but soup down. I am tight. I have hope again and I am doing my damndest to get focused and loose this weight realistically and the band IS Helping me this time. I can't eat much, but I still drink too much, and twice in the last 3 weeks I have somehow managed to scoff 8 bags of crisps in one sitting (but it takes hours instead of minutes) why and how did I manage this when I couldn't even get porridge or scrambled egg down? I just don't know, It was total after drink binge eating. But twice in 3 weeks instead of daily, and suffered the consequences of mush crisps in my neck as a result. I have lost 3.5 lbs in 2 weeks still (Oh wow..big swing..only 90 more to go) But I can't allow myself to think like that. I am now geting water back into my daily routine, cutting down on the alcohol and I am STAYING with weight watchers, and If it means ONE pound a week that's what I will take. I am too long doing this to expect starvation and horrible extreme dieting to be the answer to my prayers. I Have to LEARN to do things differently. For anyone who drives, here is an analogy that describes exactly how hard it is to change being a subconscious/ emotional/ habitual eater. If you drive, that is something you had to learn to do. At first it was difficult, you had to concentrate, you had to be conscious of looking in your mirrors, changing gears and steering. In the beginning you couldn't talk on the phone or scratch your head while concentrating on driving. 15 years later (for me) I can drive, talk (even on the phone), scratch anything that's itchy, change radio stations/cd's all while I'm driving because it has become subconscious. All the driving manuevers have become second nature and I don't need to instruct my self anymore what to do coz I just do it. Now, Imagine UNLEARNING how to drive a car? How can that be done? That is is tantamount to the challenge I have at hand now. I have to unlearn how to do what has always been second nature to me, I have to unlearn how to do what has put me in this situation at the age of 32 and that is not going to happen today, tomorrow or even this year. BUT...IT WILL BE DONE..however slowly, it will be done. I will never white knuckle it again. I will never loose 7 stone again only to gain it back, my will won't let me which is why my will has given me this whole past year of struggling to learn this lesson. What have I learned? I have learned to begin UNLEARNING. THAT is my weapon and that is what I will do. SO, I won't be slim for my nephew's christening in May, or for my birthday or for Christmas..But I will be UNLEARNING. AND I WILL BE MY OWN TEACHER, I will stumble and fall, but I will learn to get up and walk on. I will never be perfect but I will be smarter, wiser and happier. There is my experience. The Band IS great, but it is not plain sailing for someone like me. It is helping me definately, no doubt about that now, but it is not as strong as whatever it is inside me that has been yelling for the last year to get my attention about how to do this once and for all. That is my epic, my story, and I apologise for the MASSIVE post but it was to show that not everyone has the same experience with the band and that ultimately the issue is MUCH MUCH bigger than a pice of plastic or food a diet. This is coming from someone who's communion dress was let out because of weight gain at the age of 6.

What is CTCD??