lunasa

Nah..I couldn't attach the house photos without upsetting the whole page it was MASSIVE The second view shot is crap but was taken on my camera phone but when I get decent ones I'll post again!

I hope this works without upsetting the whole page! These photos are of where I live.. The house in NEARLY ready..It's split level so this is just the 2 storey side..the front of it is one level.. so it looks like you're walking into a bungalow.. The other is a view of the lake we live on. The views from our house are stunning, I'll have to try to capture them on my good camera to do any sort of justice to it!

Hi Girls I was away at a wedding, but I'm back now there was too much to catch up on, so apologies if I missed anything I should be addressing to any of you!! I did however read you post MICHELLE and thank you for your more than kind offer. It is truly wonderful of you, and what a gesture! Thank You..My Mother is gonna travel with me to support me (as she always does and has!) So I will have company, and she will kick anyone's ass if they lock me up!! (At this point I'm joking about it, but I shouldn't So again Michelle, thank you, but I'm ok to travel and face the music with me mammy!! I heard about the woman who died after being arrested at some airport, I have to say, the amount of unnecessary force used is a disgrace.. I ended up with a black eye after my "Treatment" for God's sake ...Such A-holes!! I was completely man-handled by my "arresting" parties.. I had bruises on my arms and feet too and my wrists were swollen after being cuffed! It must feel great for these b***ards to legally mistreat people.. I mean, I can understand if I was charging someone with a knife but I maintain my reaction warrented more of a medical situation/response than that of a public threat!! I wasn't even given water until hours later!! y lawyer in VA is confident that I'll be ok. I have letters from my GP, Psychologist, my ER visit paperwork, my Rx's and I also have a character reference from our police chief, with whom I have a very good relationship as we have worked together on charitable fundraising events over the past few years Anyway, enough of that. What's shakin?

Thanks Pam.. But why? And great stuff all that jazzercizing! I do live in Ireland.. Which means I've to shoe my face in VA especially for court! Air fares r gonna suck not to mention legal fees and a fine (the're welcome to the money if it means I don't get locked up!) God almighty.. Is this really me I'm talking about! Jeez!

Thanks girls.. Tracy, I never thought of it that way.. I guess I'm being made aware of worst case scenario.. I'm laughing here about the eggplant.. I've never had it either and for no reason in particular either.. What does it taste like? My dh name is martin.. My name is Amanda.. Lunasa is the name of our new house.. It is Irish for August

Congrats Tracy.. that,s a truly wonderful milestone! I have a confession..remember the week in July I was in the USA and cut my hand badly after falling? You also might remember my friend died suddenly the day I was travelling home? Well on my return trip home I got into some trouble on my first leg of my trip..the flight from fla to NY ..that flight was diverted to VA due to bad weather.. Well during the flight I had some drinks.. Having no regard for the fact I was on both anti-d's and antibiotics..well to make a long story short, I blacked out and ended up in the county jail! I don't remember what happened but apparently Ifreaked out and wanted to get off the plane when it landed in Richmond, leading to my arrest. I spent the night in custody and was charged with disorderly conduct. I am now facing that case on oct24..I am so worried about it! This is why my diet has taken a back seat ever since.. I am comfort eating freely and I am consumed with the shame and guilt over it! Only my husband sister and parents know about this..I have only filled my band once since then as I am not coping with out the comfort of food. I have never been in trouble before and this has come as a major blow to me personally! I have been dealing with this since and I feel I've dropped out of the momentum of my journey with you all! The lawyer representing me says I could get jail time but he would be shocked if I was to be convicted..still it's a worry and a burden and a major source of anxiety right now. If I get through this unscathed I can pick up where I left off and thank god..and get back to my life. I don.t want you to think I have lost heart in my journey or in yours..I still get support and comfort checking in here.. Will you all please pray for me that I will get through this xx

Oh by the way.. My first concert was U2 here in croke park in Dublin..1987.. I was 11 It was a great experience! I also saw Michael Jackson in cork in 88.. I'll never forget that! Ever! At that concert I met my first pen pal and to this day we write and have never met since! imagine!

Hi girls.. Denise that happened my mil while pregnant on my dh! She had no more babies as a result .. That injection was not an option then! I just can't wait to have kids! I am rh+ Happy birthday Tracy! I'm a libra too! Mine is two weeks away! Haven't updated my signature but I've completed two of my pledged walks.. Yeay me!

Thank you everyone!! You're all fab as always! And may I say you are all looking B-ootiful! What's this about Christmas pressie exchange? Can I join in? Well. as usual I am re-invigourated after having logged on again and posted! I'm delighted to see you all on here again! As tomorrow is the first of October I will for the first time make an excercise challenge pledge...WOW..now how to I do this? Ok I pledge 20 days walking at least 30mins for october! how about that!! haha...now I've said it and it shall be! That's certainly a start and I know if I actually stick to my promise my ticker will be moving again..I must correct it actually. The last time I was posting I was -8lbs into my second goal. Now I have gained that 8 back and am at my first goal again looking through the gates at #2! Laura how is married life? I love being married..we just celebrated our 2nd anniversary 2 weeks ago! Anyway girls, despite my perpetual falling off the wagon I'm still here, with goals in mind but a lack of serious ambition in achieving them.. At least I am not suffering from negative motivation, I am still waiting on the "switch" to go off in my head that will allow me to truly have faith that I can do this. I have identified that I am harbouring a conviction that I will always be fat, but at the same time I am allowing it to be upheld by not making the effort to change it. I know I am 20 walks away from refuting that mindset, and I am allowing laziness to uphold my beliefs. And just because I'm not freaking out over my failure so far it does not make my failure's ok...but I am definatley happier, more content and albeit possibly false and drug induced (LOL) I am not complaining. I have much more energy since starting this course of anti'd's...my home is more organised, cleaner and I'm on top of the laundry again! For a while there I couldn't even keep my housework up to date which was a sure indication that I was falling into a dark place, because I am house proud... Speaking of house...we're still not in our new home as of yet, still building away but nearly finished. I must post a photo for you all if I can transfer it from my phone to PC.... So I'm just gonna update my siggie now to reflect my first excercise challenge, and hold myself accountable for maintaining the momentum and promise so that by halloween I will be "scarily" slimmer!! LOL

Thanks Michelle.. Well I'm not really ok with where I am as I would like to have kept the ball rolling and be at my second goal by now.. But I'm not depressed about it either.. The happy pills r workin out great! I Dunno if you remember but I was really struggling with my moods etc and was very low so I'm on anti-d's now and they're workin out great.. So at least I'm coping better! I still don't put any effort into what I want from weight loss so it's not surprising u am where I'm at! I just don't know why I won't get my act together? I guess the pay off's for staying this way has more influence and control over me than I can remember those of being slim fit n happy offer.. It's been so long I can't recall the allure of slimdom maybe?

Hi all.. Apologies for my absence.. I'm posting from my cell phone now.. You're all doing so well, I am not loosing weight, to be honest I'm not even trying anymore! I'm still at my first goal and I have spent since July gaining and loosing the same 5-7lbs! No excercise! I'm being honest .. Dunno if I'll ever get it together! Am I the only one struggling like this?

Hi all!! Houdini here and I'm back!! Terri thank you for your message.. What a couple of weeks I've had!! First, I sliced my left hand with a scissors and ended up in doc's getting 4 stitches (sans aneasthesia thank you very much..ouch!) Two days after having the stitches removed I had a bad fall and ended up in ER with a sprained ankle, a black eye and a laceration to my RIGHT hand..12 stitches this time,a splint,anti-biotics, a tetnus, and a TB shot (TB shot??don't ask ) and this time they were merciful enough to numb my hand for the repair work! Then last sunday my neighbour died unexpectedly after a short illness , she's same age as me and the whole town is devastated..I'm getting ready to go to the funeral right now..she was being treated abroad in a specialist unit so her body wasn't flown home til yesterday.. Yesterday I went to doc to have my sutures removed and as the last one came out the wound re-opened itself and I got a lovely glimpse of my inner hand which left me feeling rather flushed and sick! It's not sore, but doc just bandaged me up again and said to come back next week, if it doesn't "stick" then they'll have to open it further cut away old skin & re-stitch it...yeuky!! so under this bandage there's an open wound, and I cannot get it wet..I feel yeuky, in need of a good scrub. Thank god for hairdressers, at least someone else can take care of the "head" as I certainly can't. So needless to say violets I haven't been at my computer since the calamities began..and as I sit here typing with one hand, my visits might be sparce again until I can type my usual essays in good time!! LOL Can anybody say Quasimodo? Limping, blackeyed scarred and stitched together!!! Apart from all that I'm in good form and doing well!! Did I miss anything here?

Chica Chula..About the TT..I guess that decision to do it when you're ready or wait til after kids is something only you can decide.. Of course you'll be paying twice if you do both, so I can't advise you there. I'll see how I feel when that happens, I may not have the time, money or desire to get tucked again, but the fanny HAS to go!! LOL

LMAO!!! Nope...a nanner is a nanner!!!

P.S....During my tummy tuck the surgeon went in and sewed my ab muscles back into place also...they had streched and pulled away from my ab wall from so many years of carring fat around.. I had my pouch since I was ten years of age..I obviously did the damage over a LONG period of time, but noe they are back in place and if I were to go back training, my ab muscles would actually respond this time and gimme a six pack...but I'm not mad about six pack on a woman, I prefer the 80's Madonna belly.... Is she Ripped now or what? What an amazing specimen

Hi Everyone...I see we have a few new violets...hello to you all.. You guys have been giddy since I checked in here last, goo to see everyone's spirits up!! PUDDY...you can't really depend on the scales when you're working out. You are now in a frame of mind that has you depending on seeing that number go down in order to motivate encourage you and make your efforts feels justified. Your work out's will transform your body very subtley until one day you'll put something on and it'll fall back off you AND you'll get stronger. For us women it's so important to build our muscle to keep us upright as the years go by. So PUDDY, you need to train yourself not to depend so much on the scale and and find some other form of measuring to track your progress. Ask at you gym to get inches done or body fat / muscle ratio anlysis done once a month and you will see the difference there. Muscle weighs A LOT mor than fat but takes up less room in your body hence loosing more inches than lbs...keep it up, what your doing is fantastic and you'll be a fabulous strong wonder woman in no time.. KAT...speaking of body Fat...OMG...THAT IS FANTASTIC!!! down that much!!! Holy S*** girl, congratulations!! Amazing.. TRACYInks..YOU will hit the 230's this week...I admire your tenacity and your refusal to get down when I know it's so frustrating to break a plateau! You deserve a break and it shall be done!! As for the tummy tuck, I've had one. the last time I lost this weight, I lost 100lbs, worked out to earn a body fat of 20% and was fit as a fiddle, and so I decided to have the belly cut off... It was the BEST THING I had ever done at the time and it gave me so much confidence & to be able to wear stuff I couldn't before. Even as I was slim I still had that Crease where my pouch was, my belly smiling through my clothes for all to see!! What I didn't know at the time was that I would gain all my weight back and that was very hard..I lost it the wrong way, I didn't do the head work I basically starved and worked out TOO HARD to get to that point and I didn't work on maintaining, I Thought I was "DONE".. Anyway, I still admire the results of my TT, it's not completely ruined, and besides I knew when I was getting it done that pregnancy would stretch me again, but I done it anyway, and the result was amazing. I would say as with everything the SURGEON is the key, mine was fantastic, a miracle worker, and I would (and just may) do it again depending on the state Of my skin post pregnancy...but I'll see.. The only thing right now I'm finding is that although I still have a relatively flat tummy, my pubic mound has gotten very fatty and THAT's annoying me, I'm very conscious of it and when I get down to a reasonable size again I will review THAT situation and if it doesn't shrink I will have it injected.. Bloody FAT gets everywhere!! To you guys in the US your fanny is your Tooshy but here in Ireland / UK your fanny is the FRONT of your bum (as in your nether regions) LOL So Everytime I dress in something that shows off my flat tummy I can see my fanny protruding and it's a NO NO for that outfit...BUMMER!! The ups and downs of plastic surgery, once you nip one thing everything else starts to look disproportioned.. Hey, Terri...Bet you knew I couldn't stick with the short posts...LOL

haha..very funny!! I agree, very short for me!! the Cymbalta are fine, I'm over the initial buzz of the kick in..talk about grinding my teeth!! It makes me yawn a lot and also makes me feel a bit "high" in the beginning but that is settling too.. so I'm grand.. thanks for asking Terri..xx

Hello There!! Judy, I've never seen a bike like that, sure looks comfy!! I've no news to report from here, just dropping in to say hello!! (I'm loosing weight again, thanks to my band attack)

Hello Girls...It's Buzz lighthead here!! And major ramble to follow.. JUDY!!! You are a power ranger..wow, wow, wow....well done to you!! Sounds like you live in a lovely area too...good on you for enjoying your surroundings. I am in love with where I live too..It's my dream spot on this planet (well, for living anyway) I have yet to visit Africa and I know I'll fall in love there too...Elephants are my lucky animals, I have them looking out the windows of my house to protect me, and would love to see a herd up close.. Anyway, KAT..You really are being bombarded with pain and anxiety between DH and Kinsey..my heart is going out to you..You are a gem and I wish and pray that all works out for you..xx My FIL is a ceoliac too, he was 50 yesterday.. All the rest of you violets I wish all the best for you all and for happiness to find you all...you all deserve it.. Terry, that's very stressful, your problems with DH, communication breakdown can snowball so much and when feelings of hurt and resentment come into the mix it can make communication all the more difficult too!! You've always been so kind to me..as you all have..I wish only the best for you.. Remember the happiness thing I posted the other day? "Happiness is the freedom to be as we are, however we are; richer or poorer, in sickness or in health, gaining or losing, succeeding or failing, wanting or not wanting, approving or not approving, forever. Happy is what we are and what we'll be if we don't believe we are wrong to be as we are." We all need to recognise our right and NEED to set ourselves free, free from the voice in your head that tells you you're not good enough, or that your life is not good enough or that you are not fulfilling all your wants and desires. These thoughts & voices will forever put you down and will lead you to believe you are not as good as you should be and no matter what you do these same thoughts and that voice again will follow and haunt you until you are convinced how wrong you are for your place in life.. Who else would you be if not yourself? There is NO OTHER you, You are the only YOU and so unless you are comparing yourself TO yourself you have nobody else to live up to..there is no better YOU walking around on this whole planet..you are not going to bump into a perfect you..the one you imagine would make you happier, she does not exist, there is only the you sitting here reading this, wishing to be something better than your self..why do we do that? Why do we waste energy thinking about, wanting and convincing ourselves that we should be something other than ourselves!! Who else could we possibly be? Instead of just being ourselves, warts and all... These fantasies get us down, I know they get me down, everytime I see those "Images" of hollywood, we are brainwashed.. MONEY + SIZE 2 + SUCCESS = HAPPINESS Not So..we don't know what goes on with these supposedly perfect beings once the spotlight is turned off.. then because we are subconsciously seeking what we see on TV we start to carry it into our real lives and we start to fixate on the women in RL that we percieve as having the life/body/job we wish we had and that's ALL we see.. Never trust a woman with children who has a spotlessly clean car or house...That is someone desperatly hiding something..she is NOT someone who has it all together, she is someone who doesn't want you to know she in fact DOES NOT have it together.. The other day while finalising our kitchen the store owner took us out for lunch and we drove in his car..he is a very hardworking and successful person and VERY organised at work, he & his wife juggle kids work and all that comes with both...As we approached his beautiful Mercedes I had expected to sit into a pristine car.. When we opened the door I was greeted by Bottles, toys, clothes and the very obvious & sweet smell of kids..and it made me smile..I instantly liked him more..because I was able to relate much more about him and the normality of his life. In my mind he became more real life to me..we weren't just buying a kitchen from a guy in a suit, we were buying a kitchen from a dad who works hard to provide for his family and gladly sacrifices his beautiful car to do so..That is nice, to know he was not all business and perfection.. He is successful, but has his priorities and is not afraid to let his clients see the messy side of his life..In otherwords, this guy is happy enough not having to be perfect. And my initial perception was blown out of the water.. The point being, nothing is as it SEEMS to be ever, and sometimes your fantasies about the perfect, in control person are only upheld when they remain a mystery and you don't get to see the side of the person to prove you wrong. So if mammy's car is spotless, you can be guaranteed she hasn't got her ironing done or the dinner won't be cooked and daddy is bringing home take away, because nobody is perfect, and those that go out of their way to demonstrate they are, do not possess qualities or percieved qualities to be coveted.. Our best defence is to be ourselves, as we are, if you're sitting there reading this and feeling bad because you haven't mopped the floor...so what, do it later..just remember no everyone in the world has mopped theirs yet either!!

Good Luck Laura!! Ms Jen...have had my blood checked for Thyroid twice already this last year!! I was convinced that would show up, but no it's been fine so far..but I did have him check it again and i'll have results on Monday. I started my Rx today and oh my God am I feeling the BUZZ kick in.. it's a horrible feeling...i feel like I buzzing, like there's an electric current flowing through me..my stomach is upside down too.. I hope this kick in doesn't last long!! JUDY..nine miles is amazing!!! I'd get tired even DRIVING nine miles!! LOL!

Thank You Terri...xxx You're so kind Jennifur..I take a multi vitamin / mineral & B complex everyday..Thanks x Would you believe St John Wort was recently taken off the market here..can't remember the science bit!! PLEASE GOLFBALL GO AWAY NOW and all will be well, I will be a good girl!! :sick

Terry, I love that Hole in the street analogy!! Kat...I am Keeping you & Kinsey in my thoughts..Please God she will be better very soon..xx Judy and Tracy K...you both look fantastic in your photos!! TracyInks..I know where you're coming from with the eating and struggling..BIG TIME.. just remember what's happening to me right now...don't let it happen to you!! Don't push the band.. I am still up the wall over it, although everyone has assured me it's just swelling I am still only able for liquids.. Last night I had some mash (I mean 1-2 tablespoons) and this morning I had a Teaspoonful of Manuka honey and there's that golfball again..So liquids still it is for me until this swelling (I Hope) settles... Tracy don't get into the state of mindlessness I did that has caused this to happen..The anxiety is truly not worth it..and if I HAVE damaged something I don't know how I'll cope!! So Please Girl, Bee good to D band!! Jennifur..I lost a very Good friend to cancer 8 years ago and I always get emotional around the time of his anniversary. It's strange, even if I'm not AWARE the date is approaching, it seems to come over me automatically..xx Well, I went to my GP and asked him to take my bloods, as I have done 3 times already in the last year. He did, and as we talked about all my symptoms again, low energy, low mood, lack of motivation etc he asks me what it is I am expecting to find in my blood AGAIN.. I say there's something not right, I am beside myself trying to cope..and he brings up depression again. We have had 3 or 4 chats over the last year about this and each time I have resisted the medication saying I "If I could just put my finger on it I can work this out myself, without the need to mask with meds" But MAYBE there IS something in my blood that's causing me to feel the way I do. So anyway after a long chat he explained he suspects and had suspected each time I visited him that it is a chemical imbalance I have that has me stuck in a depressive state..which somehow registered better with me than just telling me or suggesting me I was DEPRESSED.. I dunno if this makes sense but I always denied depression meds and the idea that I need them because I really only viewed depression as kinda like a mood thing..A state of being, a rut, like "If you could get off your ass and deal with it you could snap out of it" kinda thing We have sent the bloods off anyway just to be sure ,he said I was pale maybe due to the perpetual lethargy I feel, but just to be sure..for the third time since July 06!! So I have accepted that my symptoms are all pointing very obviously to a definate sign of depression, and that it is chemical and that trying to be my own hero has not done much to ease them to the point of freedom & recovery thus far..So, despite feeling defeated initially I have decided to start on a course of medication and am now feeling hopeful that I may just find a new sense of purpose and energy. I am looking forward to having the burden of mood lifting and actually thought to myself this morning..what if this changes my life? I am grateful to him for his patience and his caring enough to let me come to this point of acceptance myself and his not having rammed the concept down my throat during the last year of my pale-faced visits..visiting him with the same complaint and ahving him prod me endlessly only for him to repeatedly inform me I am a healthy individual..It all makes sense now.. It's amazing what a depressive mind can make you want and rob you of priorities..Imagine, I have been LOOKING for there to be SOMETHING WRONG in my blood to justify my feelings!! Imagine, looking for signs of ill-health and then not being satisfied when I possess the opposite!! So here's to my chemical romance!!! P.S...Rx is for Cymbalta

Thanks Terri... :girl_hug: I continue to hope & pray I am not facing damage!! If not this is the best thing that could have happened to me at this point..I have now got the switch in my head that knows now that this is not another half assed attempt...I wanted a restrictive method and I have one..I will be a good girl from now on.. Once my doctor put me on meds that basically gave you the runs (diarohhea) if you eat too much fat..he said It would help with the behavioural aspect of changing my ways and teach me not to do it again...But all I had to do was not take the tablets and I'd be fine, although not dealing with my problems..Now THIS is what will teach me a lesson...I am terrified right now & if all is well everything will be different..I don't want to go through this again..I'm climbing the walls.. I have been keeping a handwritten diary and read it all last night and I'm so glad I have been keeping notes about my emotions & struggles..It is proving very helpful and I am going to seek help for the issues that have been raised and the true obstacles in my path to freedom & happiness. It's all about belief, I have become depressed over the years because of the evidence I have gathered in my experiences with weight loss. Every time I do it against myself knowing & believing & expecting to fail again, it has all been in vain... Henry ford said (and someone on here the other day quoted) "Whether you believe you can, or believe you can't, you are right." This is my problem, I am struggling to achieve something I truly have never believed in...I need to change that belief..that's going to be the key, and also very hard to do. I want to find someone who can help me TRULY change that belief.. Who would that be? Psychologist? Psychiatrist? Hypnotherapist? NLP? Anyone know anything about that? I want to work it!!

Thank God all my moaning & drama has had SOME good purpose!! LOL:)

Oh My GOD Judy...44lbs!!! That is AMAZING..hats off to you!!! Kat..thank you for your words of advice, and I'm happy for you that your parents anniversary occasion went so well...sounded beautiful..xx I'm feeling a bit better today...I ended up having to call the clinic's emercency line (nurse on call) as I was in a total panic that I had damaged the band or the pouch.. Because I haven't been journaling my food for a month I had nothing to refer to as to whether or not I was steadily overeating lately.. The sandwich episode remained a ball in my chest and I heaved once and slimed a few times while burping all day and I really became anxious and freaked out.. Nurse said the signs of damage are pain & vomiting.. I had no need to vomit and what I had I wouldn't describe as pain..just a golfball sensation so she reckons I may just have put pressure on the band and caused a bit of swelling around the area ( I am still paranoid about pouch dilation and still worried about slippage!!) Anyway she told me to go on fluids for 2 days and then safts for two days to let hings heal & settle and if there's no improvement by monday to call her again... So All day yesterday I have been in a panic and I have felt that golfball sensation...even today I still feel something but It's more like heartburn today, so I'm still worried right now and will remain so until I feel back to normal.. What a slap in the face though..talk about second chance!! If everything is ok I will never abuse this band or myself again...I am so so nervous now!! She also said stressing about it will just make things worse and as long as there's no pain or vomiting that she would have no cause to be concerned or suspect damage.. I guess I should be relieved at this but as long as I feel the way I do right now I will worry...what if I'm confusing pain & heartburn? I know that sounds silly girls, but now I'm wondering if the uncomfortableness I'm feeling COULD be classified as pain? Today's going to be such a long day for me.. I hope it goes away.. You all must be sick of me at this point but I promise, If I get away with this, there won't be anymore posts like this or the previous few.. I will cop on and follow the rules.. If I do that well then I will have Judy's success to look forward to!! That's what a good rule follower gets!! LOL (good luck with the filll by the way) I have to believe I can do this and I have to believe I can & will be happy, I cannot waste anymore time in the pursuit of something I do not believe in..and that is my core issue and main obstacle.. Here's to JULY everybody