Duitsy15

I had my first fill on monday. It went great. It was a really weird sensation, but didnt hurt at all like some people said it would, so thats good. From monday to this morning i have already lost 3.5!! i'm so ecstatic to not be hungry all the freaking time!! I did throw up the first time last night tho. That wasnt as bad as people said either. I think i just ate too fast and then drank water. I'm excited to learn about what having a band is like and what and how i can eat now. I feel like the journey has finally begun and i'm excited for the first time in a long time!

I had my first fill on monday. It went great. It was a really weird sensation, but didnt hurt at all like some people said it would, so thats good. From monday to this morning i have already lost 3.5!! i'm so ecstatic to not be hungry all the freaking time!! I did throw up the first time last night tho. That wasnt as bad as people said either. I think i just ate too fast and then drank water. I'm excited to learn about what having a band is like and what and how i can eat now. I feel like the journey has finally begun and i'm excited for the first time in a long time!

I have my first fill today. I have no idea what it's going to feel like and how its going to effect me... hoping for the best... i feel like this is really where my journey begins.. feeling anxious yet hopeful. eeek!

so i was hanging with friends yesterday and we dont see each other very often. once a month maybe. anyway they decided they wanted to drink. n i wasnt gunna. but they convinced me to have a sip. no big deal. it made my stomach kind of crampy so i didnt continue (wasnt planning on it anyway but yeah) i did have some "scale-less victories" yesterday though. we were at subway. i didnt eat anything there. but we have friends that work there and they sort of burnt some cookies like 2 dozen and she brought the tray over and asked hey free cookies u want some? i didnt take any! and i love those cookies. my one friend took about six my other two. so that was good. but then we went back to my friends house to drink (them not me) and we decided we were gunna see what all the fuss was about on that chatroulette site. it was a horrible demeaning experience..
 
so we maybe talked to idk 15-10 people and three of them asked if i was my other friends' mother... im 21 for christ sake... one person as soon as they could see us started pointing and yelling "fat lady fat lady fat lady!!" over and over. another person said they didnt want to talk to us because i was a heifer... another person once they could see us said "WHOA" we asked what.. they said man she's fat.
 
my friends just dont get it.. they just ignored these people and what they were saying to me..didnt even try to stick up for me.. they know its all true and so do i.. i would have just left but i never get to see them.. so it ruined my night and i was depressed all night. being the "buzz kill" that i am. it certainly didnt help i have been having a tough time w my depression and stuff this week.. not sure why but it feels like im off all of them.. not good.. they just dont get it and they literally are avoiding talking about the ELEPHANT in the room.. they tell me what do u care what random people think of you.. well cuz its confirming how i feel others look at me everyday especially at classes.. i have a hard time making friends and i feel thats half the reason.. i have no confidence and am so insecure that when people hit my like that it really really hurts... this is the only place where people might understand.. i dont expect people to say im beautiful, but my god..
 
 
another reason im posting this is so maybe when im successful with my band that i can look back at this and not forget how horrible things are/were. also i have now decided if i ever date people again my test is going to be what they think of obese people.. if they have bad feedback. theyre out of here.
 
people suck. thats all i can say..

My surgery was the 7th of jan, so i'm three weeks out.
 
Last thursday i had gotten under 350 (349) and then after thursday i had gained four pounds that i had to widdle back down. It didnt seem to be coming off like it should so i was/still am frustrated. then i get up the courage to way again today and i was 348.8! so i'm down at a low again i just hope this one lasts and i dont have to go back into the 350's again. i want to be done with that number forever! anyway just writing this to remind myself that your weight fluctuates and if u dont get too discouraged and if you stay on track it will come down again.
i'm doing ok so far since my surgery. could be more hardcore, but compared to what i was doing before this is hardcore.. if that makes any sense. i'm just worried about how hard its going to get to maintain (thats what im hopiing for) or lose until my first fill. which is Feb 18th, it's my valentines day present to myself Btw how much is the usual first fill? i know the size of the band and stuff is different for some people. but i'm just curious.. also how long do u have to wait before getting another fill if you need it?

I had my first fill on monday. It went great. It was a really weird sensation, but didnt hurt at all like some people said it would, so thats good. From monday to this morning i have already lost 3.5!! i'm so ecstatic to not be hungry all the freaking time!! I did throw up the first time last night tho. That wasnt as bad as people said either. I think i just ate too fast and then drank water. I'm excited to learn about what having a band is like and what and how i can eat now. I feel like the journey has finally begun and i'm excited for the first time in a long time!

I had my first fill on monday. It went great. It was a really weird sensation, but didnt hurt at all like some people said it would, so thats good. From monday to this morning i have already lost 3.5!! i'm so ecstatic to not be hungry all the freaking time!! I did throw up the first time last night tho. That wasnt as bad as people said either. I think i just ate too fast and then drank water. I'm excited to learn about what having a band is like and what and how i can eat now. I feel like the journey has finally begun and i'm excited for the first time in a long time!

I had my first fill on monday. It went great. It was a really weird sensation, but didnt hurt at all like some people said it would, so thats good. From monday to this morning i have already lost 3.5!! i'm so ecstatic to not be hungry all the freaking time!! I did throw up the first time last night tho. That wasnt as bad as people said either. I think i just ate too fast and then drank water. I'm excited to learn about what having a band is like and what and how i can eat now. I feel like the journey has finally begun and i'm excited for the first time in a long time!

so i was hanging with friends yesterday and we dont see each other very often. once a month maybe. anyway they decided they wanted to drink. n i wasnt gunna. but they convinced me to have a sip. no big deal. it made my stomach kind of crampy so i didnt continue (wasnt planning on it anyway but yeah) i did have some "scale-less victories" yesterday though. we were at subway. i didnt eat anything there. but we have friends that work there and they sort of burnt some cookies like 2 dozen and she brought the tray over and asked hey free cookies u want some? i didnt take any! and i love those cookies. my one friend took about six my other two. so that was good. but then we went back to my friends house to drink (them not me) and we decided we were gunna see what all the fuss was about on that chatroulette site. it was a horrible demeaning experience..
 
so we maybe talked to idk 15-10 people and three of them asked if i was my other friends' mother... im 21 for christ sake... one person as soon as they could see us started pointing and yelling "fat lady fat lady fat lady!!" over and over. another person said they didnt want to talk to us because i was a heifer... another person once they could see us said "WHOA" we asked what.. they said man she's fat.
 
my friends just dont get it.. they just ignored these people and what they were saying to me..didnt even try to stick up for me.. they know its all true and so do i.. i would have just left but i never get to see them.. so it ruined my night and i was depressed all night. being the "buzz kill" that i am. it certainly didnt help i have been having a tough time w my depression and stuff this week.. not sure why but it feels like im off all of them.. not good.. they just dont get it and they literally are avoiding talking about the ELEPHANT in the room.. they tell me what do u care what random people think of you.. well cuz its confirming how i feel others look at me everyday especially at classes.. i have a hard time making friends and i feel thats half the reason.. i have no confidence and am so insecure that when people hit my like that it really really hurts... this is the only place where people might understand.. i dont expect people to say im beautiful, but my god..
 
 
another reason im posting this is so maybe when im successful with my band that i can look back at this and not forget how horrible things are/were. also i have now decided if i ever date people again my test is going to be what they think of obese people.. if they have bad feedback. theyre out of here.
 
people suck. thats all i can say..

so i was hanging with friends yesterday and we dont see each other very often. once a month maybe. anyway they decided they wanted to drink. n i wasnt gunna. but they convinced me to have a sip. no big deal. it made my stomach kind of crampy so i didnt continue (wasnt planning on it anyway but yeah) i did have some "scale-less victories" yesterday though. we were at subway. i didnt eat anything there. but we have friends that work there and they sort of burnt some cookies like 2 dozen and she brought the tray over and asked hey free cookies u want some? i didnt take any! and i love those cookies. my one friend took about six my other two. so that was good. but then we went back to my friends house to drink (them not me) and we decided we were gunna see what all the fuss was about on that chatroulette site. it was a horrible demeaning experience..
 
so we maybe talked to idk 15-10 people and three of them asked if i was my other friends' mother... im 21 for christ sake... one person as soon as they could see us started pointing and yelling "fat lady fat lady fat lady!!" over and over. another person said they didnt want to talk to us because i was a heifer... another person once they could see us said "WHOA" we asked what.. they said man she's fat.
 
my friends just dont get it.. they just ignored these people and what they were saying to me..didnt even try to stick up for me.. they know its all true and so do i.. i would have just left but i never get to see them.. so it ruined my night and i was depressed all night. being the "buzz kill" that i am. it certainly didnt help i have been having a tough time w my depression and stuff this week.. not sure why but it feels like im off all of them.. not good.. they just dont get it and they literally are avoiding talking about the ELEPHANT in the room.. they tell me what do u care what random people think of you.. well cuz its confirming how i feel others look at me everyday especially at classes.. i have a hard time making friends and i feel thats half the reason.. i have no confidence and am so insecure that when people hit my like that it really really hurts... this is the only place where people might understand.. i dont expect people to say im beautiful, but my god..
 
 
another reason im posting this is so maybe when im successful with my band that i can look back at this and not forget how horrible things are/were. also i have now decided if i ever date people again my test is going to be what they think of obese people.. if they have bad feedback. theyre out of here.
 
people suck. thats all i can say..