gowalking

So, was having a grand old time with the new bf going out to eat, and all that fun stuff with food. Then I noticed last week in particular that my clothes are getting tight...and that won't do at all. I decide to take myself in hand and get back to where I needed to be. Did just that....and gained even more weight. What the hell??? Even friends and co-workers are noticing the gain. They say I look good now...not so drawn. But all I know is that some of my favorite clothing is too tight and I refuse to go back there.
A fill I think. Maybe I need another fill. But no...I know that's not it. I'm not walking around hungry all the time. So what's up?
Steroids. It's steroids my friends.
My rheumatologist perscribed oral steroids low dose for me about six weeks ago to see if that would help with my pain and discomfort from the joint disease. I'm not sure if it's working or not...I feel better sometimes but not all the time. Not when I used to get 'the good stuff' from my pain management doctor to help me break a pain flare. But the light suddenly went on over my head and I just looked up side effects and there it was: weight gain.
That sucks. I'm gaining weight and it has nothing to do with food. What crap is that?? Gonna have to have a conversation with the rheumatologist when I see him later this month. He better not tell me to eat less...or I might just bite HIS head off...

I for one am soooo excited for you to start your new life. I expect it will be wonderful!!

I forgot about this thread. OK, here goes. This is what 144 pounds gone looks like.

You may find that some of your heavier friends will have issues with what you are doing as they might be jealous, or scared. Jealous because you might wind up thinner and very different than you used to be, and scared for the same reason. They may feel you are leaving them. Hopefully they will be able to deal with the changes you are/will be going through. If not, you may lose these people. As sad as that may be, it's just a fact that this happens.

After losing 100 lbs. I looked at myself in the mirror and had no idea who was staring back at me. I was fortunate enough to find a therapist with experience working with weight loss patients and I've been seeing her for over two years now working on getting to the heart of my issues.
As many know, the weight is a symptom of whatever our issues are. It took me such a long time to even acknowledge that for me, being fat meant I could hide the things that hurt me. Now that there's no fat to hide behind, I'm having to face those issues head on and learn how to deal with them. It's very much a work in progress so know that what you are going through, many others have gone through as well.
In my opinion, there's no way we can change our outside so drastically without changing what made us so self destructive in the first place.
If you find that you are having difficulties with all the changes, don't hesitate to speak with a professional. If you are getting the help and support you need from your husband and other loved ones, you may be able to identify your new self with time alone.

I wish I had known how successful I would be. I lost all my excess weight and got my life back. I don't think you can calculate something like that but in my experience, it's beyond belief. I used to be housebound almost as I could barely walk. Now I can do almost anything and my life has improved a thousand percent.
As far as the port goes....I lost so much weight that it stuck out like a golf ball under my skin. I had a small surgery to have it put behind the abdominal muscle. Now I hardly notice it.

Hi Gina. I'm almost four years out from lapband. January will be my 'bandiversary'.

I for one am soooo excited for you to start your new life. I expect it will be wonderful!!

A friend of mine who is a college professor and a licensed therapist once told me that the opposite of love is not hate but indifference. It's fairly obvious that he still has some emotional investment in this relationship albeit not a loving one. Sounds to me though, that you have come out of this as indifferent. Meaning you are calm as you say and did all you could. It is what it is...let the judge decide and let this be over with and done.
You are amazingly strong and I am beyond impressed that you've done what needed to be done and are moving on with your life. I can't compare as my divorce from husband #2 was amicable, but the sh*tshow that lead up to it was emotionally, financially, and physically draining. It was also freeing and it will be for you too.
Wishing you all the best in this horror show you've been going through.
Liz

that is a very interesting proposition and as a person who works with data and metrics, I'd really like to see the data for failed lap bands and review for commonalities. @@Alex Brecher, what do you think about some data analysis? Not just for bands, but for all surgeries?

When I was banded in January 2013, I expected to fail. It's why I was banded and not something more invasive. I figured it wouldn't work, I'd have it removed, and continue to eat myself into an early grave. I was terrified and went into this kicking and screaming. Well..it managed to tamp down the hunger enough for me to make good choices and watch the volume. I lost enough weight to become an active member of the human race instead of watching from the sidelines. I can move without pain, I can play with my grandson...and could not with my granddaughter. I fit everywhere and got my life back.
What you are going through is normal. Believe me...this will work for you as long as you work it.

You may find that some of your heavier friends will have issues with what you are doing as they might be jealous, or scared. Jealous because you might wind up thinner and very different than you used to be, and scared for the same reason. They may feel you are leaving them. Hopefully they will be able to deal with the changes you are/will be going through. If not, you may lose these people. As sad as that may be, it's just a fact that this happens.

You may find that some of your heavier friends will have issues with what you are doing as they might be jealous, or scared. Jealous because you might wind up thinner and very different than you used to be, and scared for the same reason. They may feel you are leaving them. Hopefully they will be able to deal with the changes you are/will be going through. If not, you may lose these people. As sad as that may be, it's just a fact that this happens.

I wish I had known how successful I would be. I lost all my excess weight and got my life back. I don't think you can calculate something like that but in my experience, it's beyond belief. I used to be housebound almost as I could barely walk. Now I can do almost anything and my life has improved a thousand percent.
As far as the port goes....I lost so much weight that it stuck out like a golf ball under my skin. I had a small surgery to have it put behind the abdominal muscle. Now I hardly notice it.

A friend of mine who is a college professor and a licensed therapist once told me that the opposite of love is not hate but indifference. It's fairly obvious that he still has some emotional investment in this relationship albeit not a loving one. Sounds to me though, that you have come out of this as indifferent. Meaning you are calm as you say and did all you could. It is what it is...let the judge decide and let this be over with and done.
You are amazingly strong and I am beyond impressed that you've done what needed to be done and are moving on with your life. I can't compare as my divorce from husband #2 was amicable, but the sh*tshow that lead up to it was emotionally, financially, and physically draining. It was also freeing and it will be for you too.
Wishing you all the best in this horror show you've been going through.
Liz

Please stop trying to analyze her and this situation. As painful as it is and will be, you just have to end it...and end it in your head as well. What you are doing is tantamount to picking at a scab over and over. It will never heal if you don't leave it alone.

Please stop trying to analyze her and this situation. As painful as it is and will be, you just have to end it...and end it in your head as well. What you are doing is tantamount to picking at a scab over and over. It will never heal if you don't leave it alone.

Here's what I think you should say to her. Tell her you feel there is no future for the two of you...and that you cannot be 'just friends' with her. You simply tell her this and you don't try to tell her what she may not be able to hear and/or process. Believe me...I understand that to walk away with no explanation seems cruel but any more than what is necessary won't help either. As hard as it may be for her, even if you tell her via email, it's better than nothing. But then....you must stay away. No more contact. Otherwise, it's like a parent who threatens a child with some type of punishment and then doesn't see it through. The child then knows the parent isn't serious. If you want this relationship over, you must must must break off contact after you 'explain' why it cannot continue at any level.
Hope this helps.

Hi @ginabee38. Unfortunately, not really as there was some interest at first but it waned over time. Lisa and I however are around still and can help with questions that you have. Also...I'm in Manhattan and would be happy to meet up with you if you are in the area.

Nothing is life is easy but, the lap band changed my life. November marks 5 years and going strong.
Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Nothing is final until it's signed, and of course Mr. Wonderful could pull one of his usual games, but as of Friday, we have an unsigned settlement. We are scheduled to sign Monday. Looks like I will be divorced Tuesday morning.
JustWatchMe

Hello and good morning my friends. Welcome to Banders #7. So, I guess I'll start it off by saying how grateful I am today and every day for the new lease on life that I have. I walked to the office today from the train station. That was something I couldn't do before the surgery. I always say how light I feel and I realized it's not a state of mind, but a physical reality. We are weighed down by the excess weight and all that goes with it. When we don't rumble and jumble as we walk, our steps are lighter. I was listening to my ipod and started to dance a little as I was walking. I'm sure I looked ridiculous, but who cares? When one is thin, even looking ridiculous seems OK.
I am grateful for my for my beautiful grandson who I was able to tuck into my lap last Saturday morning so we could play while Mommy and Daddy got to sleep in a bit. I'm grateful that I fit anywhere and everywhere. No more worrying if I will break a chair, or be able to navigate a booth at the restaurant, or walk down a narrow aisle without having to suck it all in just to get past someone/something.
I'm grateful for my health. I take alot of pills, but many of them are supplements and not prescription for chronic ailments. I'm grateful that I can walk again...that I can swim, bike, climb, and yes....enjoy sex. I am surprised at how flexible I can be now that I'm thin.
I'm grateful that I earn enough money that I can indulge my new found love of shopping. I really think I'm one of the best dressed ladies in the office these days...and I know I've upped the game for others. I am definitely seeing more dresses than I did a year ago.
I'm grateful to Alex for having this site available...and I'm grateful to all the folks on it who are part of my success. I know I would not have been as successful as I have been if not for all of you. I talk about things here that I don't talk to anyone else about. You all know the struggles of being fat, and immobile, and feeling like a failure regardless of what we've accomplished..and I know now how much we 'hidden' people have accomplished. It's helping me to not turn that self hatred towards others still struggling with obesity. It also reminds me that I will always struggle with obesity. Under this thin person still lurks the fat girl. She is the one who whispers in my ear all the time that I'm not worthy of the good things out there and I should just order a pizza and eat the whole thing. She and I clash daily and it's why I still go every Tuesday to the therapist who listens and helps me to navigate this new world I inhabit.
Well...I think I've posted enough for today. Feel free to comment on the above, or share your stories, or say hi, or just lurk. Enjoy your day today...enjoy the upcoming holiday, and looking forward to a wonderfully robust Banders #7 thread.
Liz

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Help keep us "newbies" motivated as we navigate through all of the pre-op requirements. What can you do now that you couldn't do before?
You've read about some of the physical things people can do that they couldn't before. Let me tell you about the other stuff. How about being able to look people in the eye knowing there is nothing they can comment on or make a face at that they might have before. How about feeling comfortable enough to talk to people, or go on a date, or assert yourself, or apply for a job you may not have before. How about feeling normal or even good about how you look. How about not worrying about what others are thinking, how about seeing something in the window of a store and knowing you can go in there and try it on. How about just the fact that you are even in the mindset to be looking at all at something in the window because you want to be noticed...and not for the wrong reason.
Shall I go on? Yes...the physical stuff is wonderful. I'd be one to know as I once was unable to walk more than a few steps before having to sit again. But along with being able to move better, or fit somewhere better...how about feeling like you fit into this world and not just into a seat.
I feel blessed every day since having my surgery because I checked out of life for a long time and am doing everything I want and hope that I can make up for the years I just existed.
Hope that's enough motivation for the newbies. If not, I have a list a mile long. Welcome to the forum!

Just my observation based on what you've told us...and what others are posting. I don't know that she's playing you...I think she is a very confused and scared young lady. I also think you still have feelings for her and want to help or even fix her. Here's the thing...some people can't be fixed. I think she's one of them. I think she is toxic to you...even if she doesn't mean to be. I think as hard as it will be, you need to cut contact with her as you note above. I don't even know if you should wait for her to start the new job. If she's going to be devastated by your move, her job won't make a difference in how she feels. You, however, need to do what you need to do. If cutting her out is what you need to do...do it now.
And this is coming from a woman who only months ago, had this happen to her. Not that I was toxic to this man I was dating..but he felt the relationship had run it's course. I didn't know he felt that way so it was a hurtful thing he did but telling someone it's over is never easy..and there's never a good time if the feelings are not mutual.
Good luck and keep us posted.