gowalking

Oh girls...things have gotten so much worse since I posted on Sunday. My back gave out on Wednesday. Like an old tire that just blew. I did see the surgeon yesterday as was scheduled but instead of being able to consider back surgery in the future, I'm faced with no choice but to undergo the procedure as I can barely walk at this point. There's nothing more can be done for me medically or otherwise and until I have the surgery on April 25th, which is his first opening, I'm almost completely bedbound. I've been crying for days. All my plans are out the window. My trip to Scandinavia is at risk. I've been planning this for over a year...my trip of a lifetime...and I may very well have to cancel it. I won't be able to see my grandson or baby sit him as I'd planned. I likely won't be at his second birthday party. I won't be going to Atlanta with Corey as we had planned...or all the other things he and I have planned. I have to call HR first thing Monday morning to make sure I am protected at work while this is all going on. I had a great manager when my hips were done and he assured me that I should take the time I needed to get well. I don't have that manager anymore and I don't trust this one at all. I may have to work from home till this is all taken care of and she probably won't like that. The good news is that the surgeon says this will work and I'll be better. The other good news is that I have a man who is with me for the long haul. All of a sudden he has a girlfriend who went from going and doing and keeping up with him to one who has become a burden. He says of course not but that's how I feel. Like I'm a burden and he's been saddled with damaged goods. I feel so guilty even though he tells me to stop and that he doesn't feel that way at all. I'm overwhelmed as you can probably tell.... I know you can't do anything for me but any encouragement at this point would be appreciated. I'm feeling very sorry for myself as you can imagine...but you girls have been through the ringer with me...as I've been with you and I feel like I can put it out there and you can help me see my way out. Anyway, that's the story and I so hope things are going gangbusters for you all. Have a great Saturday and I'll 'talk' with you soon. Liz

Hi Julie. Life goes on...I'm happy with my fella, my back is awful...need to see a surgeon for possible intervention. Work sucks, I've put on 12 lbs. Kids are good. Enjoying my grandson...and watching my intake and doing as good as I can. Could I do better? Yes. Am I living my life? Yes. Oh, and this too is the only thread I really pay attention to. Hope you are all well. Sounds like so far, so good. Liz

So ladies...what is my tag line in my signature? Nothing tastes as good as normal feels. Those are not just words. Yes, I watch the scale but I don't freak out over a few pounds here and there as long as I don't let it get out of hand. As long as I can be and feel normal, that's what's important.

My dear man. Please know that I only want the best for you and many of us here on this site so understand your struggles with the whole dating thing. Having said that...I do not think you are ready to date. This has nothing to do with your weight. It has to do with your vulnerability. Dating is not the for faint of heart. In order to date, you must put yourself out there and know that rejection is always lurking close by. You need to be able to know that if a date or a relationship goes sour, it's not just because you are/were fat, ugly, mean, dependent, clingy, blah blah blah. Get where I'm going with this? You have to be tough and able to let things roll off your back. Trust me. I started dating more than two years ago and it was hard. Really hard. I just got really lucky in that I found a man who is perfect for me. And when I say lucky I mean it. We just happened to be available at the same time and I reached out to him on the dating site. It was as random as possible but we somehow found each other and the rest is history. Most people aren't that lucky and can't find their special someone no matter how great they are. I bet you are a great guy but women don't know it. My fella and I could have missed each other just as easily. Doesn't mean I'm not a great catch because I am. Just means the stars aligned with him and me. Unless you can feel that way, don't date yet. Get to a therapist and learn to love yourself first. Only then can you truly love another. Good luck and best to you. Please keep us posted on your journey.

I'm not on here much as most of you are pre surgery or going through the weight loss process. I do pop up now and then just to let you know what's doing in terms of living life post WLS. I'm four years post surgery and have been in maintenance for about 2 1/2 years. When I do come on the boards, I see posts about what to eat, what not to eat, how much weight has been lost, how much has been gained, and other similar topics. When I was in the early stages of my weight loss journey, i read and posted alot regarding those same issues. Now that I'm further out, I don't focus on the details...I just focus on living my life as a normal sized person with all that entails. I just wanted to post these two pictures to show the new folks that you can be successful with weight loss. Know that while I'm smiling in the before and after pictures, I was not happy in the before shots because of the issues surrounding my obesity. Also know that I have been, and am still in therapy to address my food addiction and the root causes of my obesity. It's my path and know that I'm not advocating that this should be part of yours. Again, I'm here just as a reminder that once the newness is over, the weight loss is done, and the emotions settle down....this is the reason I had the surgery. It's about health, mobility, and living my life rather than watching from the sidelines.

@sgc....many of the folks who were part of this thread haven't been online in a while. I just wanted you aware so you understand why no one is getting back to you. I'm still here though and all I can say is dating is hard. I hated it but it was a means to an end. The good thing is that I found a wonderful man online and we are beyond happy. All I can do is hope that you have the same experience.

Your guy sounds an awful lot like mine. I re-married four years after my husband passed and it was a disaster for a number of reasons. Even years later, my kids are skittish when it comes to my love life because of this, but have not given me attitude about this relationship at least. Not that they are impacted all that much...my kids are married with their own children so it's not like when they were younger and at home, which was the situation I had when I remarried. I do however, want Corey to be a part of my family and my children are hesitant. I just need to be patient...and Corey understands that. He's spent lots of time with my siblings and will meet my parents next month. I've introduced him to some of my friends and he has done the same in that I've met some of his friends and family as well. He and I are so happy together that everyone can see it and both his and my people are just happy for us. And speaking of sex, we enjoy physical intimacy and love to cuddle as much as the sex itself. We reach for each other during the night...and oh lord, I forgot how I missed that. I'm totally open about my insecurities from a physical perspective and he is supportive regardless of what I do or don't do. He loves me....and I love him. The fact that I have loose skin, and he is chubby, is of no concern. All we want is to spend time together. I hope things work out just the way you want Sharpie. I still ask myself, how do you explain to people that there is room in our hearts for our spouses who have passed, and the new loves in our lives? The best way I can describe it is no matter how many children you have, you love them all, right? It's sort of the same thing here. At least that's how I see it. I loved Alan and still love him. Doesn't mean I can't love another. And Corey is a widower so he says the same thing about his Barbara. He's told me how truly grateful he is that he had her for 30+ years and has found love again with me.

So how much do I love this post and picture? Thiiiiis muuuuuch!! You both look adorable!! This is me and my guy. Also...was not expecting ever finding such a wonderful man but am so grateful that our paths eventually crossed.

I'll have to miss this meeting as well. Heading to PA to babysit the grandson this coming weekend but am looking forward to meeting you all sooner than later.

LOVE THIS!!!

Hi all. I'm not going to go into all the drama around here. You all know what's been going on so no need to hash that out. I'm well aware that as I am four years on these boards, I've been around for alot longer than most vets and certainly alot longer than the new folks I've seen come and go. The reason why I stay even with the nonsense going on is noted below. If you want to hear/read at least this vet's thoughts and opinions, feel free to continue with the following: Without pointing fingers, I can see that my suspicions are likely accurate. When people leave, they often do so because they have/are gaining the weight back. I've seen some of my peers (those who were losing as I was losing back in 2013 and 2014) come back here and kudos for them for doing so. To a man (or woman), they are saying they have lost their way, gained the weight back, etc. etc. etc. I've also gained back. I was as low as 115 lbs. and now I hover in the mid to high 130s. Some of my clothes are too tight and that bothers me. I feel bad when I see the scale go in the wrong direction, but I fight it every day and try not to have that number creep up any further. Being on this forum and going through my struggles, helps to keep me accountable. If I leave, I fear that I will cut off the thing that has helped me the most, which is to hold myself up as an example of how this WLS so profoundly changed my whole life. Not everyone has gone through the same metamorphis as I have and I understand that. But to say that my life was horrible when I was obese and immobile and now is normal because I fit anywhere and can walk again, can't even explain it all. I'm happier and more satisfied than I've been in years. I think more of myself in that I take care of me. I work, I exercise, I take joy in my family, heck, I even plunged into the dating world again and somehow managed to find the guy I call MOMD (man of my dreams). He has brought me such joy and happiness and I know we would never have met had I not changed my life. And yes...I dated a number of frogs before finding this prince. So here I am day after day. I don't post as I used to and truthfully, I don't read much in the way of folks asking specific questions about post op things. I'm too far out to really respond to those queries. But for the folks who are interested in maintenance...and living with the disease of obesity even if we are no longer obese, I am here for that. Some days are good, some are not. I try to live by example and not espouse any particular way that others should approach their weight loss journey. We all make this journey our own way and while there are many similarities, we are all different and have to understand that. I've seen so many posters who were my support drift away and while I hope that they are just out there living their lives as successes in terms of their weight loss, I fear that for many of them, they have slipped up and gained the weight back. For those just starting out or fairly new to the process, it's all about losing the weight. For those like me, it's about maintenance. And with any lifestyle change, the maintenance is the hardest part. I've very few peers left on this forum but I stay because if I go, I have none of you to make me accountable. I just hit my four year anniversary. I always posted in prior years, but did not this time but I decided to put this out there and make it my 'anniversary' post. Here's hoping that what I wrote helped someone out there, be they years away from their surgery, or those who are pre-op and everyone in between.

Wow. Talk about stressful. Here's hoping for a much more 'peaceful' future.

All I can say is that I know Alex and I am convinced he did what he had to do. Babbs and Lipstick lady were very harsh at times and I stayed away from their online 'tussles'. He referenced PMs that were very disturbing and I am sure he was not exaggerating. I didn't know that littlebill or dub were tossed as well. I never saw anything on their posts that alluded to a problem but again...I'm sure Alex did not do this for the hell of it.

Everyone's journey is different, my story is a happy one from the word go. I'm sorry yours was not. Do you post this on every transformation picture post you see? Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App Not every transformation post but several of them. I'm very glad that your transformation went smoothly. Mine is better but still a work in progress. Congrats on your newfound engagement in life.

Good luck! I had the lap band placed four years ago and have gotten my life back.

what she said! best post ever on this subject!!

Sorry for hijacking this thread a bit but every time I see something that related to before and after, I like to remind folks that when the outside changes so drastically, the inside almost always changes as well. Many folks can adapt over time but for those who cannot, there is no shame in getting professional help as I did. Without it, there would still be a harmful disconnect between the woman on the right and the woman on the left as just like the OP, we consider them two separate people rather than the same person. I needed help to be the normal sized woman I've become because I was the fat woman for such a long time and lived my life that way. I had to learn to live my life normal sized and that's easier said than done for many of us.

All I have to say is.... Doctor doctor give me the news. I got a bad case of loooving you!!

Rather than say they are haters, I'd say they were more curious and possibly concerned...and yes...there's some gossiping in there as well. Just remember that when we are very large and loose alot of weight, it's common for those folks who know you as a heavier person to think you have/are losing too much weight. Not so. It's perception. I lost more than half my body weight and lots of people thought I should have stopped losing weight 50 lbs. or more ago. Besides....our bodies will tell us when we've lost enough. I know mine did and now I'm working hard to maintain that loss. No one says squat about my size or weight loss anymore. After four year, everyone is used to seeing me at a normal size. Period. I for one am happy that the questions have stopped and I am just who I am. It's my new normal is all and for that alone, I am so grateful.

The boyfriend likes it but I think it tastes chalky and gritty. I'd much rather do regular ice cream in the 100 calorie sizes. Klondike bars makes 100 calorie versions and that works better for me.

So nice to see you posting. I know that I miss seeing my old pals. I hope you can pick up with another center that will continue your aftercare. Keep us posted.

I fly into FLL every 6 weeks. Terminal 2 in fact. That one hit pretty close to home. Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App Didn't it though... I fly Delta or Jetblue and know both Terminal 2 and 3 very well. Absolutely could have been me or my sister, or the folks, or the dozens of loved ones I have who also go through that airport all the time.

I am going to respectfully disagree with you on this. There are dozens of millions of us who are legal gun owners and carriers who have criminal records that are... nonexistent. We are among the most law abiding of citizens out there. We are among the least likely to break the law. Yet we are maligned every time something like this happens. There is no law, no rule, that prevents people like this from doing what they will. The only thing that stops a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun. The proof of that is the fact that every time one of them shows up, who gets called? The cops. Cops are not special, they are not superior humans. They are just people like the rest of us who have decided to make protecting the rest of us their life's work. But they cannot be everywhere all the time. I have carried my gun everywhere it is legal for well over 25 years. There have been three times in those years where its presence has protected myself or others. I have never shot anyone, or even threatened to shoot anyone. But in all cases, ill intent was thwarted. If someone else had been legally carrying at that airport, it may be that more people would have lived. We do not know. There are no promises in life. But I prefer taking a chance with my gun over cringing and screaming any day of the week. My friend LittleBill...and I do consider you a friend as you are a voice of reason when things get stupid on these boards...I respectfully agree to disagree on this one. A good guy with a gun is a cop...and not someone just standing around. If the guy standing around has a gun, he'll likely panic or shoot the wrong people. That too has been proven. Unless there is/are professional law enforcement people everywhere...people will continue to be target practice even if they are just watching a movie, going to school, waiting for their luggage, etc. etc. etc. And yes, while I am one of those darn liberals....I agree completely that most legal gun owners are fine upstanding law abiding citizens. My second husband carried as a corrections officer and enjoyed target practice immensely. And while he drove me crazy, he wasn't crazy..and he would never do what these 'active shooters' do.