KAATNS

No more grey selfie!

Gotta get gorgeous for hubby's homecoming!

RAWR!! You're a hot tamale gf!

I would have to totally agree! And you should see him dance!

RAWR!! You're a hot tamale gf!

I would have to totally agree! And you should see him dance!

you are far from normal my darling friend...to me your everything.

I've posted before about this, but with new folks on the forum all the time, I thought I'd mention it again. I'm not thin...I'm not slender. I wear a size 12/14 pant and mostly L (sometimes XL or M) tops. I'm still overweight per my BMI. But...what I am and how I feel is summed up in one word. NORMAL. I'm normal. I look like everyone else...I'm invisible but now in a good way.
This is still new for me and I'm always amazed by the things so many people totally take for granted. I not only had all the room in the world sitting in an airplane seat recently, I even crossed my legs. OMG! I crossed my legs in an airplane seat. Amazing. People sit next to me now on the bus or train because they can. I don't spill over into the next seat. Heck...one day I even said to a woman standing in front of me to sit down...I knew it would be tight but I also knew it would be OK...and it was.
I still have the cane...for support while I continue to heal from the hip surgery but people are kinder now. I wish that wasn't so but it is. They don't think I did this to myself because I'm overweight...they think I'm recuperating from surgery or maybe have something congenital. And truthfully...I'm not ashamed to use the cane any more for those very reasons. I can't wait to get rid of it though...
I don't have to shop in Avenue or Lane Bryant. I can go anywhere as long as they have a misses department. I forgot how much prettier smaller sized clothes are.
I'm not self conscious when I eat out. I know that no one is judging me..looking at me...and wondering or even knowing if I'm aware that the crap and amount of crap on my plate is the reason I'm fat.
Now I still have a ways to go in that my head has not always caught up to my body. I still feel like the biggest person in the room. I still think I won't fit into the restaurant booth or that awful gown you have to wear when you're at the doctor for a checkup. I still say sorry when I think I'm invading someone else's space...another hold over I guess.
Anyway...this post is long enough. I just want people to know even if they are not there yet...this too can be your story one day. Have a great Sunday everyone!

Love the new pic Anna!
Tell your hubby "WELCOME HOME!".....and Thanks! ....from me.

So when are you two headed to TN to go dancing in Nashville with me?!

You look fantastic and I love the dress too!

RAWR!! You're a hot tamale gf!

I would have to totally agree! And you should see him dance!

I would be lying if I said it was easy. I am an extremely picky eater...extremely! Very plain "kid food" as my boyfriend calls it I was also a fast eater because I hate cold food so that's something I have really struggled with. I think the hardest part for me was convincing my brain that I didn't need the same amount of food, not that I "needed" it before I am by no means the poster child for good lap band eating so I can't give a lot of advice there as far as what to eat. I know the rules, I just don't like a big variety of food. I changed my eating a little and try to be more healthy conscious, Protein first that sort of thing, but honestly I pretty much eat the same, just way less! I was fortunate, that has worked for me. I can't say I recommend it though because I don't know that it would work for everyone. I have felt guilty at times reading people's stories about changing their eating and still not being able to loose. However, tips I can give, as far as portions control and eating slower are:
*Use a smaller plate and smaller utensils.
*Put your utensils down between bits.
*Don't eat in front of the TV. I think as band patients we need to be very mindful of how much we are putting into our mouth and how quick.
*Eat to be satisfied, not full.
As for exercise, I think this was my saving grace. This was the one thing I felt I could control (since I don't like a wide verity of food). I was extremely fortunate that my company at the time had an on-site fitness center. My boss, aside from our current job, also happened to be a personal trainer and offered to train me for free. After I got into ONEderland I decided to give the C25K program a try and actually completed it. This, aside from the weight loss has probably been one of my proudest accomplishment because I hate running. Hate it with a passion!! So I think that's why it was that much sweeter when I completed it. I highly recommend weigh training along with cardio. I know a lot of times, women especially, tend to lean more toward cardio, but weight training is very important!! Not only are you stronger, but the more muscle you have the more calories you burn! Plus there is the added bonus of the muscle filling in where the fat was to help with that loose skin. It was very important for for me to make working out a habit, a part of life. My hope was that should I ever have complications with my band and have to have it removed, I would be able to maintain my weight better if exercise was just a natural part of my life.
I will say the last 3 months have been the hardest for me. I lost my job of 13yrs due to cut backs and with that I lost my gym access. I've struggled with depression, anger, sadness...all of my eating triggers, but somehow I have managed to maintain my weight. Even though I may not feel it a lot lately... I am truly blessed

Hang in there Farmgirl and Countrysweet. You will figure this out between you. I could write a book on horrible marriage, no love, no attention, and the rest of the funk. I figured it out, you will too. God bless and love yourselves. I found the love and happiness my life was meant to be.<br />

Geez, are we married to the same man? Mine is the same way. My husband weighs well over 400 lbs. The weight does make sex difficult so I'm sure that's a big part of why he lost interest in it until now and suddenly, now that I'm losing weight and looking more like my old self, he has been in constant pursuit of sex. I've come to the conclusion that I think a lot of it is jealousy. He tells me he doesn't like it when other men look at me and he's constantly telling me how he noticed some dude checking me out. I'm like "really? Because I didn't notice" and I don't notice it. I also think he's jealous and insecure because we started this whole thing together. The difference is that his efforts stopped at attending the seminar. He didn't go any further through the process and he blames me for that because he says I should've made his appointments when i made my own. So I went through the process and was banded in December and he has the entire process to go through. AND our insurance has changed so it's going to be more difficult for him to do it than it was for me. I did finally talk to him about it and he has backed off a lot BUT, instead of the constant grabbing, pawing, and corny lines, he tries to sabotage me. If we go out to eat, he encourages me to eat more than what I feel comfortable eating. He says "You need to eat more. Those vegetables are good for you. Eat them. Your doctor says you need lots of Protein so you should eat the rest of that." I keep telling him that I CAN'T eat that much and besides, those restaurant portion sizes are WAY more than anyone should be eating. So then, like I said, it's "how about dessert? You love their <insert favorite dessert from that restaurant here>" Drives me NUTS. He is talking about having the lap band himself now and I think he may be serious this time.

I feel bad reading this from y'all. So much extra crap to deal with when your attention is trying to be on your journey to a healthy new self. If nothing else, this just reaffirmed to me how supportive my husband has been..... Through thick and thin (so to speak). Best wishes to all dealing with sabotaging and unsupportive spouses.

Wow! I came on blow off steam about my husband and found this thread! I could have written it myself, only I'll add that my husband is grossly overweight himself, which adds a whole new dimension to our issues. Sex was at best difficult, uncomfortable, and not to thrilling (sorry to say). After 30 years of marriage, 3 kids, daily issues, and menopause sex is quite frankly the last thing I'm interested in. I resent the constant grabbing, and complaining (and name calling). Tonight really took the cake. I have to say that when I started this journey I tried to get him to join me. When he wouldn't I said that was fine, but it wasn't going to hold me back. I have gone on to lose almost 105 pounds. I want to lose another 10 pounds even though I am well within normal range for my height. I'm in size 4-6. I am still working hard, using myfitnesspal, getting regular exercise, the whole works. I anticipate that routine for life. Here is the kicker. Tonight he commented on how I did it the easy way, how he won't do it anyway but naturally! He is angry because he bought a bottle of wine even though I'd said that I didn't want any, and after entering my food for the day I continued to say I didn't want any! We have had our ups and downs over the years but I'll be honest and say that this is the worst. Am I partly to blame? Yes. But only because I am deliberately not allowing myself to be sabotaged by him. He didn't like me fat, and now he resents me being thin. I guess only time will tell!

WOWWEE!! You look great my friend! So happy for you!

I know all about the resentment issue. My ex recently told me that he hadn't noticed that I lost 50 pounds and hadn't touched me in years before that. Sounds like your hubby is noticing and it has probably lit a new fire under his butt. Good for him, but I understand your resentment. Take your time and work on yourself first. Hope your outcome is better than mine was. Keep up the great work.

WOWWEE!! You look great my friend! So happy for you!