sr910

Just wanted to chime in about weight gain/weight loss since being sleeved. I was sleeved April 2013 (now over a year and a half out) and I'm still losing slowly but surely. I started at 306.5. Currently at 200 lbs. I'm 5'7", 28 years old, wearing L shirts and size 12 pants are getting big. I don't drink soda (never ever -- people that say "oh I leave it out and let it go flat first"-- that's stupid, I'm sorry. Don't do it), I get my Water in, I'm not great with Vitamins but my bloodwork looks great so I'm not worried about it (although I do keep up with my Calcium and D3), and I try to eat balanced meals (not ALL Protein, but a healthy balance while still focusing on that protein). I've had small fluctuations in weight along the way (a couple pounds here and there) and I don't always make the best choices as far as food goes, but you've just got to put everything in perspective -- if you've made it to a certain pant size, do you really want to go back up in size? You've gone through a major surgery and major lifestyle change for this weight loss -- do you really want to throw that away? Hang in there, if you're in the first six months or year DO NOT STRESS about any fluctuations, your body is just trying to figure out what's going on. You'll be fine, just follow your surgeon's plan and get that water in!

I'm experiencing the exact opposite. I've lost about 80 lbs and I seem to be getting reprimanded for every little thing, even when I've done nothing wrong!

The old me would have never thunk it, but maybe people are worried I'll come out of my shell and start kicking ass and promoting up the ranks!

Does the tightness first thing in the morning ever go away? I'm 6.5 months out and drinking anything -- even Water -- is still very uncomfortable within the first few hours of waking up. And eating actual food is out of the question entirely..

Vets? Anyone further out than me? Halp!!

A-A-Ron.

(If you watch Key & Peele...)

You look great!

My grandmother and mother have hypothyroidism, and my sister has Hashimoto's. I've been "borderline" and previously on a low dose if synthroid, but didn't feel it was helping. Just recently, for the past month or so, I've been EXHAUSTED -- no amount of sleep is enough, I'm crying all the time, my skin is dry... I just had blood drawn yesterday when I requested my primary do a thorough check of my thyroid.

If it comes back that I need to go back on medication for hypothyroidism, I'm going to ask for desiccated thyroid. From what I've read, it just works better for some people. But according to this article, some doctors get pissed when patients mention it. But I figured it was worth sharing...

http://thyroid.about.com/b/2009/01/27/the-desiccated-thyroid-controversy-why-endocrinologists-dont-like-armour-thyroid.htm

Have you heard about the 5 day pouch test? I haven't done it myself, but I've heard it helps WLS patients discover that sensation of restriction that can be lost when we get farther out in our post-op lives..

http://www.5daypouchtest.com/plan/theplan.html

I searched the forum and couldn't find anything on this topic so I apologize if it's been mentioned before.

First thing in the morning, my sleeve feels really tight. This morning even drinking Water was uncomfortable (and I'm over 8 weeks out!) It seems to get easier throughout the day, but food and liquid just feel awful first thing in the morning.

Anyone else experience this or have any advice?

I'm up in Manchester' date=' NH.. I'm seeing my surgeon on thurs 4/11 and then they say within 48 hours ill receive a call with the date, still assuming the insurance goes through. Anthem BCBS.. BUT... I too should be end of May!! Woohoo[/quote']

Anthem BCBS approved me in less than a week.

I am 4 months out' date=' I can eat a slice if pizza.[/quote']

Ah, thank you Laura-Ven! I don't know if I'm going to even want pizza, but I just need to know if my sleeve will be able to handle doughy things. It could also be the pre-op diet and lack of carbs that's causing me to dream about pizza and Bagels, and making me fear that I might never ever eat them again.

It's natural to have thoughts like you are having. I did not care about my bougie size' date=' I felt this was best left to the surgeon, he is the expert. Remember the surgery is more than just physical. There is something about the surgery that changes you. I am 17 weeks out and down 170 LBS, and I could care less about pizza and alike. People eat pizza and other treats all around me and just don't care and it doesn't bother me at all.[/quote']

But if you did decide to eat a few bites of pizza, would you be physically able? I've heard a lot of people have issues with doughy stuff getting "stuck," or at least feeling like it's getting stuck.

I'm on day 5 of my pre-op diet and, although I was 100% confident in my decision before now, I'm freaking out. I read an article on obesityhelp about bougie sizes, and it said 32 is the most common used, and the 32 has a size equivalent to a ballpoint pen. For some reason this just freaks me the hell out. I always thought our new stomachs were about the same width as a banana -- but apparently not! I have my pre-op seminar on Wednesday, and I really hope to talk to my surgeon about bougie size. I know that poor food choices got me here, but I want to know that I will eventually be able to enjoy pizza, Bagels, and other favorites on very rare occasions... If my sleeve is the width of a pen -- or slightly larger -- will bready food items even be able to make it in there, even if thoroughly chewed?

My husband has been balding for a few years (in the front part, which just made his forehead look huge) and he was trying to hold on to what hair he had left. It looked awful! Now we use a clipper with a #1 guide and it's real short all over. Definitely looks better. I wouldn't say that I am really attracted to bald men... like I can't recall ever seeing a bald guy walking down the street and thinking he's hot... but idk, work with what you've got!

I don't like Walmart either, but I wanted the magic bullet for my preop diet, darn it! And my husband is an assistant store director at a large grocery chain...

I told him that I had been reading threads on here (I didn't tell him about this one, though -- I think he'd be pissed!) and I tried to get him to open up about his feelings on me being sleeved... Low and behold, he's afraid I'm going to lose some pounds, gain some self confidence, attract attention from other men, and leave him. I told him that was not my goal in having this surgery -- I just want to get healthy and feel better about myself -- not find a new man.

For the married folks... can you imagine dating again?! I would be sooo awkward... so anyway, we're working on things. I'm still getting sleeved and I'm still going to lose a few pounds and feel better about myself... but if my marriage ends, I'm adopting a bunch of cats and staying single!

This sounds similar to something my mother-in-law had in the fall. She hasn't had WLS or anything, but she was sick... So so sick. Cough, diarrhea, vomiting... She couldn't keep anything down, not even Water. She was so dehydrated her urine was nearly brown in color. Her doctor didn't really offer any help, so after a month, she finally broke down and went to the ER. If nothing else, at least they could give her fluids. They did all sorts of test, ran a swab very deep up her nose to check for flu... and nothing. Everything came back normal! She finally kicked it a few weeks later. Hang in there. The ER is always an option though.. maybe they could do some cultures and see if you have some sort of virus. Good luck, I hope you start to feel better!

SR' date=' you can go to counseling without him. You may just find out that you are responsible for your own happiness. When you make a list of your ideal marriage, know that you are making a list of your future resentments. There is no ideal marriage. Anybody who tells you there is, they are blowing smoke up your skirt. You are responsible for your own life, happiness and well being. If your husband wants to participate in this, great. Fabulous. Same thing in reverse. You are not responsible for his happiness. How intimate would you say your personal lives are? Are you both able to be rigorously honest with each other? Can you reveal things about yourselves that leave you emotionally vulnerable? I have found that as time passes, it is easy to be less and less honest with each other. It just happens slowly over time and before you know it, you don't know the other person well enough to share the most intimate details of your life.[/quote']

I know it's unrealistic to expect him to abide by all my "ideal husband" characteristics. However... I'm not asking for much. My list includes very simple things that he should do anyway, like greet me when he gets home. Acknowledge my presence... I'm not asking to be treated like a queen, just like a person!

I am very open with my husband. When he says something that hurts my feelings, I don't lash out at him -- I calmly tell him how I feel. I'm very open and honest with him. Knowing that lack of communication is one of the most common issues in a relationship, I've always made an extra effort to make sure I'm communicating effectively.

My husband is a very angry person. I think he genuinely tries to not get angry at me, but he still gets mean. He'll often times say something mean, hurt my feelings, then apologize later. I've tried to express my wish that he would think before he speaks without trying to sound motherly. There are other issues, too. The biggest one being that -- although he says he wants to be married -- it's apparent that he wants to have the freedoms of being single, which would be fine... IF HE WASN'T MARRIED! We own our home, have a house-full of pets, and have typical responsibilities like laundry, dishes and generally cleaning up after ourselves. We both work full time and don't feel like one person should be responsible for any one thing (like we both do laundry, both do dishes, etc.) About two years ago, he started playing a ridiculously nerdy card game, and it has taken over his life. He would rather play his game than take care of any of his adult responsibilities, and it is very disheartening to me that he will set time aside specifically for playing his card game, but I'm not worthy of the same attention. So that, combined with whatever time I do get with him (and this time is 95% angry/grumpy/MEAN husband) leaves me very detached. As much as I make an effort to communicate and be open, I can't help but start to try and guard myself from more frustration and feelings of rejection.

My mom and grandmother are very supportive in whatever I decide to do and I've discussed some of my ideas and concerns with them. After 8 years together, I feel like the next step in our marriage is to start a family. At this point, I would definitely not want to start a family. However, the idea has been thrown around that it might cause him to grow up, man up, and act like a grown man with a family, a house, and responsibilities. But if that plan were to not work out, I'd be in the same unhappy boat... with a kid. No thank you. We'll just wait and see how things turn out. Today has been pretty good so far...

***** = C o c k s

When you hens......err women are all climbing on the support wagon' date=' just remember there are always two sides to everything.......... and a whole lot of unknowns .......Just sayin.........[/quote']

And sometimes us hens are just married to total *****. Just sayin... =)

I appreciate everyone's perspective. My husband grew up without his dad in the picture and we don't have any married friends so sometimes I wonder what other marriages are like, how they make it through disagreements, etc.

I just had an orthodontist appointment and the sweet woman adjusting my braces asked, "how was your weekend?" Instant tears. I apologized for being a basket case, and she offered some advice as she got married at 18 (sort of similar to my situation -- together since 18). She said it sounds like he's taking you for granted, and I totally agree. I've often said I feel like we are roommates more than husband and wife.

Anyway, my husband and I talked last night. I told him that I keep waiting and waiting for things to get better, but we never set a deadline to check up on what we're trying to fix. So, we're giving it 6 months. I suggested a year, but 6 months should be adequate time. If things aren't better in 6 months, we'll figure out what to do with the house, the pets, etc., and get on our way.

I understand that just saying 6 months won't fix anything. He's going to go stay at his mom's for a little while... hopefully he'll miss coming home to our house, our pets, and most importantly, a wife that has supported him even when I didn't want to.

I also plan to write up a list of things I'd find in my ideal marriage. As much as I want my marriage to be ideal and perfect, I know that's not realistic -- I just want to not feel like crap about my marriage. He's also going to think about attending counseling with me.

And back in reality, today is day 1 of my preop diet. Thank goodness I have something to focus on, or I might just cry all damn day.

Ashlie -- he remembered saying it, and apologized. But he says messed up stuff and apologizes quite often. It's getting old. If he never said the hurtful things in the first place, he wouldn't need to apologize.

Dean -- how did you know? He refuses to go to counseling. I somehow convinced him to go to anger management counseling (by himself) and guess what?! He said, "She made me mad with some of the questions she asked me..."

*facepalm*

That's very uncool.

Yeah... We met in 2000 (freshman year of high school) and were best friends until we started dating in '05. Married in '09 and somewhere in there, respect flew out the window. This is definitely not what I pictured my marriage to be.

Is your anxiety about the pre op / surgery causing you to get frustrated with stuff that's otherwise normal in your relationship?

Normally husbands cop it in here for not being supportive of surgery' date=' and I'm sure some aren't. But it sounds like that's just the way he is?[/quote']

I'm more of an introvert. Whenever I'm upset or frustrated, I'm pretty good at keeping it to myself. There have totally been times when I'm just easily frustrated, but I recognize those instances and apologize for being short with him. He's just being a genuine jerk lately.

Eerr' date=' where was your husband on Sunday??

http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2013/03/31/walmart-crash-attack/2040683/[/quote']

Omg, if he wasn't in his 20s and if we didn't live in San Diego, I would TOTALLY suspect him!!

Is he irritated that you are getting the surgery? When I am doing something my bf disagrees with he a complete asshat the rest of the day till he decides to talk about it..but no I don't think you are over reacting. Might be best to just give him some space to cool off or gather his thoughts..sounds like he is irritated

No he's excited for me to get the surgery. He knows I'm unhappy with my body and my health and he's looking forward to me being happier. I plan on giving him space. He's been a major a-hole lately. Last night one of the dogs was barking and he was screaming cuss words at the dog. I was like, "What the hell, stop yelling at her!" And he told me I "better f***ing shut my g-damn mouth." Like okay he was totally half asleep, but hello dude I'm your WIFE! But he's generally a complete d**k and even though I never thought I'd consider divorce... I'm kind of considering divorce...