Jenhort

A year ago this week I started my two week pre op diet....I was so scared that I couldnt do it! It was tough! But my mnd was right and I knew that I needed to get healthy. Now as I look back, I am proud of how far I have made it. It is a journey and it has been slow going the last 6 months but I have always moved forward and it is a process of lifestyle change. Almost 35 years of bad habits are hard to change and break. I had always thought that this was an impossible dream and I have never had success with something this hard. I have and advanced degree and THAT was hard work but school was not that hard for me and I had no doubts I could do this. When I started this weight loss journey I had so many doubts and had always failed before. This tool that was provided for me helped me, but I have never worked so hard at something like this. It is life changing in so many ways. I knew going into this that this is a lifetime battle. I will always have to fight this. It feels good to have some kind of victory though! Keep moving forward....slow but sure...I can do this!

A year ago this week I started my two week pre op diet....I was so scared that I couldnt do it! It was tough! But my mnd was right and I knew that I needed to get healthy. Now as I look back, I am proud of how far I have made it. It is a journey and it has been slow going the last 6 months but I have always moved forward and it is a process of lifestyle change. Almost 35 years of bad habits are hard to change and break. I had always thought that this was an impossible dream and I have never had success with something this hard. I have and advanced degree and THAT was hard work but school was not that hard for me and I had no doubts I could do this. When I started this weight loss journey I had so many doubts and had always failed before. This tool that was provided for me helped me, but I have never worked so hard at something like this. It is life changing in so many ways. I knew going into this that this is a lifetime battle. I will always have to fight this. It feels good to have some kind of victory though! Keep moving forward....slow but sure...I can do this!

I haven't posted in awhile....life is getting in the way. I am finally on track again, I started tracking my calories and protien and making a point to drink all of my water and of course exercise. I am at 220 now and I am on my way.

I haven't posted in awhile....life is getting in the way. I am finally on track again, I started tracking my calories and protien and making a point to drink all of my water and of course exercise. I am at 220 now and I am on my way.

The main point I want to get across to people considering VSG is this: Regardless of your starting weight, if you are a yo-yo dieter, grazer, food addict and/or compulsive overeater with self-sabotaging tendencies, the surgery alone will not be enough. You will also need to get some form of counseling or treatment to control your compulsive overeating/grazing if you're serious about reaching your goal weight. (Read the symptoms of food addiction, compulsiver overeating here)
 
Now that that's out the way. Here are my stats:
 
Beginning weight: Approx. 193.5
Current weight: Approx. 132
 
Shocker right? I started this journey in the so called "lightweights" category--basically people with a BMI below 35. I only wanted to lose 68 pounds, and so far have lost 61. So what, if anything, went wrong?
 
Well, first let me say that I do not regret the surgery. Here's the deal: I'm a chronic yo-yo dieter and compulsive overeater. Before the sleeve, I had tried multiple diets in 2011, losing 25 lbs pretty quickly each time. The problem was, each time, I quickly regained the weight that I had lost in a period of days. Those setbacks became pretty discouraging after a while. I did a little research and decided that VSG would solve my problems.
 
Once I had the surgery, I fell into my normal pattern of periods of intense effort followed by periods of little or no effort towards reaching my goal. That got me to 152 lbs (approx. 41 lbs down) around 3.5 months out. From there, during periods of increased effort, I'd get down into the mid 140s. When I fell off the wagon, I would find my way back to around 152, which appeared to be my ceiling, regardless of how many bad days I had. Again, regardless of how many bad days I had. THAT's the reason why I do not regret this surgery. Were it not for the surgery, my 40 lb loss would have eventually turned into a 60 lb gain. With VSG, the worst case scenario appeared to be gaining back 5 lbs or so to end up back at 152 (I'm sure that over time, my ceiling will creep back up, but that's another issue).
 
Fast forward a few weeks... I stumbled on to the fact that I might have a mild form of adult attention deficit disorder. I was discouraged by all the projects that I was falling behind in, and I was very unhappy with my tendency to procrastinate and not put forth my best efforts. I met with the psychiatrist who prescribed adderall. I was aware of all the stories about adderall and weight loss, but after failing at weight loss surgery, I had pretty much moved on from thinking that I could lose weight from drugs or any other interventions. My main concern was getting my behavior under control so that I could be more effective at work and at home.
 
I started taking the medication around June. Within a few months, my schedule had become super busy and I had addressed the issues I had been avoiding for years head on, including home refi, ending a bad relationship, and revamping a few side businesses. But there was another side effect--while the medication was in effect, I was not a food addict. I ate when hungry. At night, when the medication wore off, I would resume grazing and eating just because. Of course, with the sleeve you can only eat so much.
 
With my food addiction somewhat under control during the day, I have gone on to lose an additional 20 lbs over a period of 4 months. This was with no effort, since I've been so devoted to the projects I'm working on that I haven't made time to workout or follow any particular meal plans. I recently resumed my gym membership and fully intend to start working out again and eating as healthy as possible but I'm trying to get everything else in order first.
 
I'm not advocating medicine to people suffering from food addiction--I'm advocating any treatment, including group meetings or counseling, that will help keep it under control. It turns out my weight issues are directly related to how much I obsess over food when I'm not hungry---no diet, fat burner, workout plan, or even surgery can solve that problem. However, it's probably not a great idea to just rely on medicine to control food addiction, because when the medication stops, the problem returns. In the end, counseling and coping tools are key to managing the disorder.

This summer has been awesome! I have so much energy and I have been so active! I finally rode my bike (havent done that in over 20 years) and my doggies are getting walked every morning! Swimming in the pool and going to the beach! I have done so many activities this summer that have involved walking. It is almost like a dream. It is hard for me not to buy clothes "just because I can". I used to buy things only because they fit, never for the style. What a lifestyle change this has been and continues to be. I have so much more work to do, but that is okay because this is a journey. I have finally gotten over the head hunger and craving, I eat for the nutrition and for fuel. Such a relief, because the first few months were so hard! It was kind of a mourning peroid. It's gonna be okay!

geesh, finally below 250! So happy, I havent been below 250 in such a long time.....20 years! lol. Finally broke thru this plateau too! I wasn't too worried about this standstill because I know I have been doing the right things, and I am just enjoying this ride. It is the journey that has been really fulfilling for me, lots of appreciation and enjoyment of life.

I've been a bit obsessed with this site. I've read so many blogs and other posting....I've even started writing my own blog. I think I need to step back because no one can rush time. Time will come in its own time. I have a challenging job, got vacation coming and then same week I return, I have surgery. I just want to bypass it all and go to surgery. I say that but I know or at least believe, I'm waiting the surgery but I think of the pain some people have had after surgery. I've been reading too much, processing and not processing it all. Another part of me thinks what if it doesn't work. Yes, I've been super positive about this but all it takes is a seed of negative thinking and it can truly grow into more.
I think I am going to have to take a few days away from this site just to get my bearing. This site is a good thing for me but I am a bit too focused on it. I need to do other stuff. Maybe a brief break. I get up getting on the site, check my email for responses....get home and I am here. I am way past my bed time and I am here. I've never utilized anything to this magnitude. It is good but too much too fast for me. I have to go to bed and I will be back........probably in the morning, lol.

This summer has been awesome! I have so much energy and I have been so active! I finally rode my bike (havent done that in over 20 years) and my doggies are getting walked every morning! Swimming in the pool and going to the beach! I have done so many activities this summer that have involved walking. It is almost like a dream. It is hard for me not to buy clothes "just because I can". I used to buy things only because they fit, never for the style. What a lifestyle change this has been and continues to be. I have so much more work to do, but that is okay because this is a journey. I have finally gotten over the head hunger and craving, I eat for the nutrition and for fuel. Such a relief, because the first few months were so hard! It was kind of a mourning peroid. It's gonna be okay!

This summer has been awesome! I have so much energy and I have been so active! I finally rode my bike (havent done that in over 20 years) and my doggies are getting walked every morning! Swimming in the pool and going to the beach! I have done so many activities this summer that have involved walking. It is almost like a dream. It is hard for me not to buy clothes "just because I can". I used to buy things only because they fit, never for the style. What a lifestyle change this has been and continues to be. I have so much more work to do, but that is okay because this is a journey. I have finally gotten over the head hunger and craving, I eat for the nutrition and for fuel. Such a relief, because the first few months were so hard! It was kind of a mourning peroid. It's gonna be okay!

This summer has been awesome! I have so much energy and I have been so active! I finally rode my bike (havent done that in over 20 years) and my doggies are getting walked every morning! Swimming in the pool and going to the beach! I have done so many activities this summer that have involved walking. It is almost like a dream. It is hard for me not to buy clothes "just because I can". I used to buy things only because they fit, never for the style. What a lifestyle change this has been and continues to be. I have so much more work to do, but that is okay because this is a journey. I have finally gotten over the head hunger and craving, I eat for the nutrition and for fuel. Such a relief, because the first few months were so hard! It was kind of a mourning peroid. It's gonna be okay!

This summer has been awesome! I have so much energy and I have been so active! I finally rode my bike (havent done that in over 20 years) and my doggies are getting walked every morning! Swimming in the pool and going to the beach! I have done so many activities this summer that have involved walking. It is almost like a dream. It is hard for me not to buy clothes "just because I can". I used to buy things only because they fit, never for the style. What a lifestyle change this has been and continues to be. I have so much more work to do, but that is okay because this is a journey. I have finally gotten over the head hunger and craving, I eat for the nutrition and for fuel. Such a relief, because the first few months were so hard! It was kind of a mourning peroid. It's gonna be okay!

This summer has been awesome! I have so much energy and I have been so active! I finally rode my bike (havent done that in over 20 years) and my doggies are getting walked every morning! Swimming in the pool and going to the beach! I have done so many activities this summer that have involved walking. It is almost like a dream. It is hard for me not to buy clothes "just because I can". I used to buy things only because they fit, never for the style. What a lifestyle change this has been and continues to be. I have so much more work to do, but that is okay because this is a journey. I have finally gotten over the head hunger and craving, I eat for the nutrition and for fuel. Such a relief, because the first few months were so hard! It was kind of a mourning peroid. It's gonna be okay!