Sannah

The PICC line is miserable. When it was installed, they went too far into my heart. It was real hard to cope with. I am happy to now have just a midline. I can't wait to have the midline out!!! That will be the day!!! I am allergic to the clear stuff that is used for the swallow study. Barium I can handle. I don't like being loaded up on Benadryl for the swallow study. It's just not ideal. I am sorry to hear your son had to go through all of this. I am thankful to hear that he has his grandma and dad around. It's so hard on the kiddos!!! I am having a brain problem. I just read your message and went to reply and can't remember everything you wrote and I wanted to reply. I think it's a good idea to get the emotions out. Thanks for being here!! The road is rough and I am doing all I can. I get to see the crazy dr tomorrow. Yay!!! I have decided I am going to follow up with the cardiologist. I have never had heart problems until this surgery. I had the Fluid on my heart. Then high bp. This is all so new to me. I am on ten pills a day for my heart. It's weird and I don't like it. I need to learn why all this is happening. The waves that they measure in my heart are off. I had this surgery to get healthy and improve the quality of my life. Right now I don't feel better. I hope your day is good! Best, Sannah

Hey Iggy, Thanks for writing. I can say today is the first day I have felt that I will be okay. I think its because I am able to chat with other leak survivors. The hardest part of this for me is not being able to nurture my daughter like I would normally. You're a Mom and it sounds like you know and understand what I am talking about. I believe your son is school aged. My daughter is 16 months old. I pride myself is being able to care for her. I want to nurture her, be hands on and grow with her. My Mom, sister and husband have done an amazing job at caring for her. I know later in life she wont recall this time period, but it just wears on my heart. I cry a lot because I miss being able to care for her. I want so badly to be healthy enough to do everything I need to with her... but for now its pretty painful for me. I am most certain you can relate. I am so sorry to hear your son has suffered through this ordeal. I can only imagine the poor guy and how he is feeling.I hope as time passes he heals with you. Your here to stay with him!!! I am so happy to hear you were able to have the claw and not endure the stents. The stents were miserable to say the least. I had two stents for 6 weeks and then I was supposed to have another procedure to have the claw put in place. I woke up while the surgeon was physically pulling both stents out.. It was very miserable... I wish this on NO ONE.... I completely relate to feeling like I lost myself. I feel so lost and broken and I am starting to have moments of hope. I think this forum as really been the main reason I am feeling good today. What a relief to talk with someone who has been here. Tomorrow I am going back to day treatment for nourishment. I was going everyday and it would take five hours. I am now going every other day. I don't know when I will be able to nourish my own body. My dr has been so rude... It was just this last appointment. I am going to talk to her about my feelings and how I have been treated by her. I am talking to another surgeon already.. But I want to make sure I have care before I leave... I don't want to burn a bridge if I don't have a back up plan. However, someone who works for the hospital is now advocating for me. She feels it will be no problem for me to transfer care. My advocate said I have start the process. I have been taking a few breaks a day to listen to some music and to be present with all these emotions. I have my family, friends, husband and I am so thankful for them. But sometimes I feel like I need to check out for some music therapy. Sometimes i am not sure where to look for strength to push on. But I cant help but to look at my baby. I want to be here for her. My leak didn't present with typical symptoms. I had a dull back ache. For a few days now my back is hurting and this cares me. I am sensitive because I have endured so much. I realize there are so many reasons I could be feeling pain in my back. But I am paralyzed by fear, afraid to tell the dr or nurse tomorrow of my pain. I ended up taking pain medicine tonight... I have not taken any in a while.I have to tell them, because I have to be safe... but I am scared of more swallow studies (Its rare but i am allergic to the clear liquid they use), so they give me tons of benadryl and keep a dr near by. My face goes numb, and i get light headed- like i may pass out. I am trying to focus on the positive. I don't have a fever and I only vomited once today. I have lost 60 pounds, but it doesn't feel good. I worry about my heart. I have never had heart trouble... I started collecting Fluid on my heart and then my blood pressure went crazy. Currently I am taking 10 pills a day for my blood pressure.. its insane... who does this? it scares me...my heart has started to beat irregularly... I have no idea why this is happening... So a few good things.. even though it doesn't feel good 60 pounds gone is great!! My Silky Terrier can now sit on my lap. I am learning a lot about myself and how strong my friendships and marriage is. I am surrounded by truly amazing people. Thank you for writing, listening and allowing me to feel like I am okay. My family and friends are so compassionate and loving... I can not deny this.. but I need to talk and relate to someone who has done this and been to the bottom of this pit. Wishing you only the best! Best, Sannah

Hello, Thank you so much for your kind words. I read them and it allows me to feel good. I am so thankful to have your support. The road has been long and I am getting by. After reading of all of this support today for the first time I was able to feel like I will be okay. I hope your journey is smooth sailing!!

Your message is heartfelt, really warmed my heart.. Thank you so much. I really appreciate this. I have struggled so much through this journey. I know i am going to come out on top and be a better mom, wife and human, but it's hard. I am so thankful for people like you who wish me well and offer support. How has your process been? Are you well? If ever can I can be of support let me know I am here for you as well. This road maybe be rough, but we can accomplish anything we put our minds too!! Thank you so much for the message. Best, Sannah

I want to mention one other thing. This leak was and is without a doubt very hard to deal with. But if you have the love and support of your family and close friends it will be easier. I have really had to lean on those around me. We've shared some very intimate moments. I thought I was going to die and we talked it out. I felt like running away from everything. I have even had small victories. But no matter what someone has been here holding my hand and helping me to be strong and loving me thru it all.

We don't know why I had a leak. I followed the rules and I was the first leak my surgeon has had with a sleeve, This process is scary! The leak, has no doubt made everything a million times worse. I do have moments of regret, because I am a Mom to a 16 month old and I have not been able to nurture my daughter like I want to. I have to lean on my husband, Mom and Sister more than I ever imagined having to do. I can tell you I stand by my decision to have this surgery. I am committed to getting better and I look forward to my future. I am learning a lot... but reality is, that this journey is hard... Just really make sure in your heart its right for you and your life style. Remember complications are rare, but do happen. Make sure to talk to your dr about them and be in tune to your body. I listened to my body and good thing I did.. My symptoms were not typical of a leak. So, had I let it go I would have been even more sick.. I think you'll do great!!! If I can ever help out let me know.... this ride is rough, but I hear its worth it!!!

Thank you Laura! That felt good to hear!

No need to apologize. It's really great to hear that you were successful. It's intimidating to go in and have this talk. But I think it's so important not just for me and learning to be a stronger advocate. But I think it holds a lot of value for her as a dr who may not be completely aware of how it feels to be a patient and endure all of this. This ride has been scary and frustrating. I am thankful to have read your post. It gives me hope that our conversation will be good on Tuesday. But I also need to my back up plan incase things go south. I want SO BADLY to be healthy again. I want to nurture my daughter the way I used to and I want to learn how to care for my body. But I have to have supporting and compassionate care. I cannot flourish if I am unable to talk and ask questions about my body. Thank you for sharing with me. You give me some hope that she will come to get senses and maybe even apologize!? Wishing you all the best!! Sannah

Thank you. This has been so hard for me. Even more challenging now that I don't feel like I can ask my dr questions about my body and new life. It's a bummer deal. I am hoping this other surgeon will take me as a patient for my follow up care. I really need people who can support me and be helpful right now. How's your journey going?

No problem. I was right at two weeks. The next day I was going to transition into puréed foods. I was sleeved December 5th.

Error: keep 64oz and 85g consumed orally for 7 consecutive. Then I can try puréed foods. I am currently in day treatment every other day.

Thank you kindly. This has been a very hard two months. Stents ( I had two) were a beast, finally had them removed and have some physical relief. But my emotions are running crazy. I have been on liquids since dec 4th. I am not allowed to drive because the anti-nausea medicine blurts my vision. My surgeon has turned into a nasty lady. I may be switching care over to a new dr.

Hello All, I am on my pre op diet and want to find out if anyone has a tasty Protein shake recipe to share? pumpkin flavor? anything? I am not good at mixing flavors willy nilly. So, any guidance would be great!!! Best, Sannah

Way to go sister!! Your looking great!!! Way to rock your sleeve.

Thank you kindly. Having two stents in place is just real miserable. Last night I took pain meds and slept good. The anti nausea is making my vision blurry. So I hope all is clear.

Hello, Not sure where I left off. But I was re-admitted to hospital for Fluid on my heart and severe dehydration. The two stents are making it hard to consume anything and keep it down. My heat is healing. The cardiologist did a lot of testing and is confident my heart was/is inflamed due to surgery. I am just getting settled in back home. I have been trying remain positive, but have times When I just cry. I am on a twenty day countdown until the 25th On this day I will get my stents REMOVED or REPLACED!! What a nightmare if they have to be replaced. I hope all is clear because the anti nausea is making my vision very blurry. Thank you for all the heartfelt words. You guys lift me up!! Thanks you SO much. Best, Sannah

Thank you for sharing. You are great!!! Fantastic work!! Thanks for giving me light of these dark days. Best, Sannah