TakeDeLongWayHome

Love and respect yourself NOW and live your life and have fun TODAY! Don't "wait until you're thinner." GO..... NOW!
 
 
 
"GET ON YOUR BIKES AND RIDE!" --Freddie

Yippee! I can't believe I am down 16 pounds in 2 weeks. I feel so much lighter and like I take up less room in my car, at my desk, everywhere...lol The best NSV for me is that I am officially off ALL 3 of my blood pressure medications as well as my cholesterol meds. I have another 70 pounds to go to get to goal but I am so happy to have already lost 30 pounds post and pre-op.
 
If there has been any downside to this process it would have to be the emotional process of letting go of food as a coping mechanism. I've had a few rough days where I had to realize that I would no longer be able to use food to alleviate stress or combat feelings of negativity. I've replaced that tendency with art journaling instead. Now instead of reaching for a bite of something bad for me I will grab my art journal, some paint, paper, stamps etc. and journal everything I am feeling at the moment and when I am done I feel such a release. It has been especially helpful to go back and re-read those entries when I am no longer in that moment of distress and can see things more clearly. I've learned a lot about myself and about what got me fat in the first place in just these 2 short weeks.
 
I had another notable NSV when I inadvertantly leaned back in my chair and crossed my legs with ease while visiting with friends. I was so shocked when I realized what I had done that I had to pretend I was still listening to the conversation while I was actually celebrating and having a dance party in my mind...lol My husband has been very supportive of me even if he doesn't fully understand what the hell I have had done with the surgery...poor guy is clueless but glad to have his support nonetheless. Many thank you's to everyone here on the forum for being sources of motivation, inspiration, dedication, discipline and hope.

Ask anyone, I am not a numbers person. Math and science were not my strong points in school. Heck, I am not even sure they were a weak point with me. They seemed to be more nonexistent than anything. In high school, I fought to get a D in Chemistry and Geometry. I was good at Algebra, but most any other math based classes were able to strike fear in my heart with out even trying. My father never understood this as he was a math person. he could do almost any math problem in his head and within seconds. This only made my fear of math that much bigger. How could he make it so easy? Was I just an idiot who didn't get it? Would I ever get it? Did my IQ test lie? I must have scored much lower than the numbers said. Why else would I not be able to do what others considered simple math.
 
Then, when I was 26 years old, my now husband brought all those insecurities back on our first date. We were playing Trivia Pursuit and he got a geometry questions. I knew there was no way he would get the pie. I was feeling really good about my standing n the game when he asked for a pen and paper. "WHAT? You have got to be kidding me!!" He then rattled off the theory he needed to use and then proceed to plug int he numbers and draw designs I hadn't seen since high school. Needless to say, he got the answer right and won the pie piece. Right then, all my doubts came flooding back. Then jokingly I asked if he was some kind of a genus. He didn't want to answer but once pressed, he told me his IQ was 165. I just shook my head. How did I end up on a date with my father?
 
Now, I am not telling you this story in an attempt to say, "Look how smart my husband is!!!!! He's so cool. He can do math problems in his head." No, that is not my reason at all. I am telling you this in a feeble attempt to get you to understand that math and i have have a "hate, hate" relationship most of my life. With that said, I know I am still able to do simple math. But, after this surgery I am not sure if that statement is true anymore.
 
I joined Myfitnesspal.com yesterday. I logged in everything I ate and all the workouts I did. Every time I walked, I log it in with the amount of calories I burned. Now, it takes 3200 calories to make a pound. Which implies that if I burn more calories than I take in and it adds up to 3200 calories, I would lose a pound of fat. That to me makes sense. Well according to Myfitnespal.com, I burn/don't take in 1518 calories a day and have been doing this for the past eight days. I know this as I eat the same thing every day and work out around the same amount. With that being said, I should have lost a pound every other day (approximately) give or take a pound here and there. Now, if my math is right....and I will be the first to say that it may not be....I should have lost between 4-6 pounds in the last eight days. How may have I lost? NONE. ZIP. Absolutely nothing.
 
Now, I keep telling myself that I've been walking a lot, and I am sure I building muscle. But even knowing that, I think, doesn't muscle help burn more fat? So I am stuck back to the question, "Why isn't math working?" Is it because I am doing the math? Remember, math doesn't like me. So this could be it's attempt to get back at me after all the years I called it stupid. Maybe I hurt it's feelings and now it's out for revenge. I've even thought that maybe there are little math gremlins that stand on the scale with me (that I can't see over my belly) to make it does not change numbers. All I know is I don't like it. I don't like it one bit.
 
I know not to expect miracles. However, I did expect to lose weight once a week. I didn't care if it was a little or a lot. Even though I've read so many people say that there are times the scale just doesn't move, it still bothers me. When I run the numbers, it seems like I should have some downward movement. but I don't. Don't worry, I am not going to stop doing what I am doing. I will continue to follow my program and get in my protein and my liquids. Maybe I should give the math question to my father and husband and see what they come up with. Lord knows they are much better at the numbers thing than I am.
 
I will say this. If I don't see some movement (downward) in my scale soon....I am going to on math hunt. I promise that I will hunt down all those little gremlins and make them regret all the times they messed with me. Don't they know I'm sensitive right now? This is not the time for jokes when it comes to my weigh in. You will pay gremlins...you hear me? You will pay!!!

I thought I covered what type of blog I was writing in my first one. But, apparently, not everyone reads all the entries. So, from now on I think I am going to have to do the following.
 
 
*******DISCLAIMER!!!!! What you are about to read is to be taken lightly. It's goal is to make you smile, laugh, and hopefully see the funny side of going through weight loss surgery. This blog is in no way my feeble attempt to get advice (unless I ask for it), or to be told what I am doing or saying is wrong. We are all different. We all heal differently. We all experience different things. With all this in mind, please enjoy my take on life after the sleeve. I hope it helps make your day just a little bit easier and happier. *********
 
 
Now that all that is out of the way. I feel the need to talk about the looks I've been getting from people when I tell them I've had weight loss surgery. I actually find the looks funny. For example. Today I went to GNC to see if I could find some type of protein drink that I can actually handle. When I went in, I got attacked by the vulture (aka the sales man). So, I proceed to explain to him that I had weight loss surgery and I was looking for a protein that I could handle (and that tasted good). It was interesting to see the look on his face when I said the surgery thing. It was only a split second or two, but it was obvious that he did not approve of my surgery. Not that I asked or wanted his approval. All I wanted him to do was help me find some protein I could handle. So, I ignored him and followed him around the store as he explained to me how, everything "tastes amazing". I know not to trust sales people, but really, EVERYTHING??? I highly doubt that. We are talking about protein and I have rarely met a protein that I found "yummy". So, after he promised me I would "love" this one brand, I decided to throw him off his game. I asked if he had samples or if they sold them per bottle. I refused to buy a whole thing of them only to get home and find out I didn't like it. So again, the sly fox of a salesman pulled this one on me, "No, we don't. However, I will give you this bottle if you PROMISE not to tell my manager. I really am not allowed to do this." I actually laughed at him as I saw the bottles behind the counter that they used for such an occasion.. Did he really think I was going to buy that line? Well, as shocking as it sounds, it really wasn't that bad. It's called GNC Total Lean, Lean Shake. It has 25g of protein, 2g of sugar, 3g of fiber (which I really need but more on that later), total fat 6g, and 170 calories. I had to taste it warm and I was able to stand it so I am sure once it's ice cold, it will be much better. As a whole, the unapproving, over zealous salesman did a good job. And, he gave me the first, "I don't agree with your decision" look since my surgery which I kind of enjoyed in a strange way.
 
Next I headed to Walgreens. I needed a fiber supplement and I needed one fast. Not to give TMI, but my first number 2 after 9 days and two things of Miralax, was more like the number 2 of a VERY LARGE rabbit. It wasn't fun passing, and as soon as I was done, I was ready to find a way for that not to happen again. After staring at all my options for a good 15mins, I finally gave up and went to talk to the pharmacist. I proceeded to tell her my issue and included that I had the gastric sleeve and because i was unable to get much food in, my fiber was almost non-existing. There is was again....that LOOK. She took a little longer to recover than the GNC guy (if she did at all). Even while she was telling me about what fiber would be my best option, she was unable to hide her disapproval of my decision. So it was right then, in Walgreens that I decided. Screw YOU....SCREW ALL OF YOU who think you have any idea what I have gone through, or why I decided to do this. No one asked for your approval or disapproval so don't give it. And, if you do give it, be prepared for me to tell you I don't really care what you think. I did this for me. I did it for my health. I did it for my medical reasons. No, it's not easy. No, I couldn't just eat less and exercise. I've tried that. It didn't work. So, keep your two cents and I promise I won't judge you on your attitude (which sucks) , your clothing (I don't care what the magazines say, you do not look good in overly tight jeans and five inch heals), your hair (1980 called and they want their puffy bangs back) , your makeup (yes, it looks good on models, but you are not a model and you you didn't have a professional do it) , your marriage (don't lie and say you have a perfect marriage, we all know your spouse is not "running errands", he/she is running around on you), your children (a rough patch is a few months or back-talking not years of getting arrested and being pregnant at 12) ....or any other decision you've made or thing you've had happen during your life. If you don't want to be judged, DO NOT JUDGE.
 
Now, before I get attacked for children/marriage/clothing/hair/attitude thing. I know there are always other issues at play. I was just using these as examples of things people do talk about and look down at others for. Funny thing is, people will not be as blunt with their feelings with those people as they are with me for having weight loss surgery. And my decision is one to help me and make me healthier. Doesn't something just sound wrong with that?