tmorgan813

Remember, your body is going through a huge change....even before surgery becasue you've made some major changes. However, be happy with yourself. You are making the changes you need to make already which will make things much easier after surgery. I have been sleeved for three months now and I still have a very hard time not drinking while I eat. I think if I would have made that change prior, it would be so much easier. Once you get on your pre-op diet and then have the surgery, you will be shocked at how fast everything starts to change!!! Just keep in mind that the things you enjoy (food wise) you may not like at all when you get out of surgery. I am still finding things that I used to LOVE that I no longer even want around me now. Just don't get down on yourself. The weight will come off....and you'll forger all about how worried you were during this time. Best of luck to you!!!!

I make a smoothie with mine. I don't mind it, but it's not something I can eat right out of the container. Here's my smoothie 1/2 cup Greek yogurt (plain) 1/2 cup vanilla soy milk 2-4 packets of Splenda 3-5 ice cubes. 1/2 -3/4 frozen blueberries (I tried strawberries, and DID NOT LIKE it at all) I do think it would work with raspberries and blackberries though. Then I blend. Sometimes I have add a little more soy milk to help loosen it up. I get around 15 grams of Protein from it. Over time, I was able to add more yogurt and get more protein. The yogurt is very tangy and sour, so the more berries, the better. I haven't made one of these in forever, now I think I'm going ot have make one soon. LOL

I had to laugh when I saw your post. I just went shopping for the first time today after my surgery (3 months out). I had to as all my clothes were falling off. I actually had to roll my pants around the waist so they would stay up LOL Today, I bought an outfit that was black pants (size 18), and a white shirt (size 18), bra, panties and a pair of shoes. I haven't been in an 18 since college, so I was feeling really good about myself. Also, the outfit fit me perfectly and I felt sexy!!!! Even my husband stopped and stared when I came home and tried it on for him. I used to hate shopping, but now I can't wait to go do it again. I haven't felt sexy in years.....and now I"m going to enjoy it!!!! Can't wait to start putting on clotes in the single digits. That has to be the coolest thing ever!!! LOL

It's so normal to go through all the emotions you're going through. You just went through a very tramatic experience. Your body is healing and yo need to give it time to do so. Also, my surgeon told me NOT to get on a scale for two weeks. Due to all teh water retention, gasses, and other things, you're going to gain weight right after surgery. However, I know what it's like to want to see if going through all this was worth it. Trust me, it is. Do yourself a favor and don't get on the scale for four days. In those days, get your liquids in, walk, walk, walk, walk and walk. That will help get all those gasses out and regulate your water retention. Then, you can check. But, be aware, you are still swollen and healing so don't expect to see a 10-20lb loss. The good thing is, in a month from now, you will be so happy when you get on the scale you won't even remember this emotion time. keep your head up and trust me, every day gets better.

This is so exciting. I went through the same concerns as I got closer to having surgery. Now, I wouldn't change a things. The ONLY thing I really miss is bread. I loved bread, so it's hard to not be able to eat it. With that said, I am now at a point that I rarely think about it anymore. (I'm three months out). Also, I wasn't sure if I read this right, but are you and your husband doing this together? If so, that's great. If not, it's still wonderful that he is there for you and is understanding what you will be going through. Keep you head up and keep doing the great job you already are doing. Hope to hear more about your journey. Best of luck to you!!!

Today is almost my three month point. Also, I have my 20th high school reunion coming up so I figured it was a good time to go shopping. Now I have no idea what size I wear or where I should shop. So, I called my mother. I always like to have someone with me that will be completely honest and tell me I look like a teenage wannabe, or I'm trying to wear a size WAY to small or WAY to big. Mom will always be honest. Sometimes a little too honest. One time she told me not to buy something because my boobs looked to big. That's what I liked about the shirt. Needless to say, I bought it. Anyway, today I started at Lane Bryant. You all know the Big Girl store. I found some things I liked and grabbed a couple different sizes. To my amazement, I fit into a 14/16 shirt, and a 16 or 18 pants (depending on the cut). I can't tell you the last time I wore anything that size. Especially for my shirts. At that moment, shopping began to be fun. I started to understand why people love shopping....I could totally get into this shopaholic thing. Then I went to Old Navy. Now, understand that the only thing I used to be able to buy here was a men's XXXL sweatshirt. Well, today, I was able to fit into the woman's polo shirts (XXL), woman's jeans (size 18), and an XL woman's sweatshirt. Now, here's the funny thing. Being big for most of my life, I've always worn very baggy clothes. Because even though we all know baggy clothes don't hide anything, we feel more comfortable and let's be honest, we're hiding behind those extra baggy shirts and pants. So, when I came out to look in the mirror wearing these clothes that were the correct size and fit me the way they were supposed to, I felt so exposed. It took me awhile to get that this is what I am supposed to wear and how I am supposed to look. Trust me, it's crazy. I really had to look at the emotional issues that come with being fat. Then, I said "screw that" I'm losing weight and doing well. I have the body I would have died for when I was 25. I'm curvy, and yes I have more weight to lose, but I am going embrace my new body and not hide it being my XXXL sweatshirt. Well, apparently embracing my body cost $300. I embraced it in new bras, underwear, jeans, pants, sweats, and shoes. I also made sure that none of those things were baggy or hiding anything. Everything I bought showed my body in a tasteful way. However, the only person who will see the panties and bras will be my husband....and he'll be happy to hear that my cup size is still a DD. He was so worried about that. LOL So, now that I told you about my wonderful day, I have to tell you that I have been kind of down. My scale number has not really moved over the past month and a half. If goes up and down between five pounds. Now, I KNOW that I am working out more and gaining muscle and that my body is changing but I still want that number to go down. I want to be under 200 so badly, I can't even explain it. The last time I was under 200 I was in high school and I was working out all the time and barely eating. But, right now that's my goal and I am so upset that I'm not getting any closer to it. But, going today and seeing how my body is changing even if the scale isn't going down makes me feel REALLY GOOD. So, I decided to stop worrying about that number on the scale and enjoy my body and my new clothes. Now, I just have to figure out what I'm going to wear first.

@Tiffany, I did model the underwear and bra for him....he seemed very impressed but then something came on the T.V. and I lost him to the Food Network. LOL Oh well, He did at least pause the T.V. when I came out in my new jeans that show off my butt. He even made me turn around a few times so he could admire it. So, I guess sometimes my body is better than T.V. ......just not always. LOL Also, thank you so much for your kind words. I continue to try to do my best, but I'm not perfect. I have things I shouldn't....just not often and not very much....I still have issues with eating at night....something I continue to work on. At least now, I'm eating fruit instead of chips and ice cream. lol. I will make sure I keep everyone posted and you're right, when I get below 200...WATCH OUT. That's going to be a blog of pure happiness. LOL God luck to you too!!!!!

For some reason (I am sure it's due to the ridiculous amounts of chlorine in the pool water) I have begun to have some sinus issues lately. I have been able to deal with them with out taking any type of medicine. The most I may do is put some hydrogen peroxide on a Q-Tip and clean my ears out with it so that an infection won't come on considering how much time I spend in the pool. This happened to me today. As soon as I went under, I could feel the chlorine water find it's way up my nose and in my sinus cavity. I swear, I know how to swim and usually, I don't get any water up my nose, but for some reason this pool is different. Then, to top it off, my husband and I had a very intense conversation. You know the kind. The kind with some yelling, and tears, and then kissing and making up. I always enjoy the making up part. The problem is, when I cry, I look like buffoon. I am not one of those cute, pretty, "oh, please let me just hold you" type of criers. Nope, I am the kind with the snot running down my nose with tears intermixed, eyes so swollen and red I can't see two feel in front of me, and a nose that from all the blowing now looks like I should be leading Santa's sleigh on a foggy night. I always wished I could be one of those cute criers. The ones who don't look any different except that they have some tears trickling down their cheeks. But nope, I couldn't be that lucky. Then, to top it off, I ALWAYS get a sinus infection the next day or two from it. Nothing beats having a bad night and crying only to wake up int he morning with a pounding headache and a man inside your sinus cavity with a sledge hammer attempting to get to your brain. So, I have learned that when I am done crying, I have to take two Sudafed (sp?) and two Advil (now it's Tylenol). This has always worked for me with out much issue. That is until I've had the sleeve done. Since the sleeve, I've tried to take the medication twice. Both times I feel like there is something in my little tummy that is BEGGING to get out. It doesn't care if it takes the elevator up or down. I know this is due to the size of the stomach and the amount of yucky stuff that has drained from my sinus cavity and my nose to my stomach. However. I have no idea what else to do. I have tried to take only one pill but that hasn't helped me at all. So, it ends up that I find myself in the bathroom throwing up all that gross stuff in my tummy. To make matters worse, I haven't been able to sleep tonight. So, I took my morning meds around 5am. That includes my per-natal vitamin. I figured I'd be alright since it had been so long since the crying and drainage. I figured the elevator would be headed down by down. Boy, I couldn't have been more wrong. Then it happened. Something I hate. That thing where you're kneeling in front of the porcelain god begging to feel better. Then I saw it. It was a red color in the bowl. Talk about fear ripping through me. I woke up my more husband (who wasn't able to sleep well tonight either) so he could come look at my throw up. He informed me it was fine. But, being a woman, I never take his word. I started thinking what IF ANYTHING I had that had a red tint to it. Then it hit me. My vitamin. I opened one up and there it was. The same stuff that ended up getting flushed down to the place with all the dead gold fish and a lot of other things I'd rather not think about. At that moment, I wanted to cry again. Only this time, it would be tears of happiness. So many things had gone through my mind. Did a stable pop? Do I have an ulcer? Was there bleeding due to lack of iron? I became my own doctor and the thoughts I was having were not fun. Funny things is, even with all that going through my head, all I could think was, "Damn, I really don't want to pay the E.R. 150 bucks." Funny how money can really change your perspective on things. LOL Now, before everyone gets all freaked out, please know that I've only cried to the point of needing the Sudaed (sp) two times since surgery. This is not an everyday type of occurrence. It just shocks me how much snot crying can produce, and that no matter how much I blow my nose, there always seems to be TONS left that drains into my stomach. My stomach that can only hold 3-4ounces at a time....you do the math....it's not a pleasant thought now is it? Well, anyway, I am much better now. I've learned my lesson. Don't take my vitamin when I don't have anything in my stomach except the Sudafed and some crystal lite (or and the other nasty stuff) as it WILL NOT END WELL. Sorry for the disgusting post....but as always, I like to tell you the good, the bad, the ugly, and the nasty part of weight loss. Today you got the nasty...and not in a good way.

Working out isn't easy when you have back issues. However, being in the water is a great way to get pain relief and to get some exercise in with out hurting myself even more. I live in a condo so the pool is shared by everyone in the neighborhood. Usually there aren't many people there which is great for me and my work outs but I still get some strange looks from the people who are there (including my husband). Now, I can't just dive on in and swim. I mean I can, but I will pay for it the next day. I also can't do a lot of bending and flipping or a lot of ab work. So, what I do is walk. I walk back and forth in the shallow part of the pool. Now, this can get very boring. Also, there is only so much people watching someone can do. It get's a little strange when you are caught looking at the same person for the fifth time because you can't believe she's wearing THAT, or looking at someone's boyfriend for the sixth time becasue you are really looking at the clock over his head but she can't figure that out. Trust me honey, no one wants your man....he's not even half as attractive as you seem to think he is and by judging by what I see in his shorts, he's not that great in bed either. Anyway.....maybe that was a little much....but I'm just telling it like it is. So, in order to keep my boredom down and to make sure I don't get myself in any trouble with the girl who shouldn't be wearing that bikini or have the guy's girlfriend jump in and drown me, I've begun walking back and forth while reading my book. Not only does it help me not look at the people around me, it allows me to walk back and forth and lose track of time. Yesterday I walked for an hour. AN HOUR of walking in the water!!! I was shocked. I didn't even notice I was getting my workout....and isn't that how it should be? Why can't every workout be this easy? I could have waked for another hour except I knew I would hate myself the next day. So, from now on, I plan to get my walk done in the pool, with my head down and my nose in a book. That way, I can still be alive after the workout and not have my neighbors hate me. I think it's a win win for everyone.

I can't believe I didn't proof read that before I sent it...too funny.

No, I haven't done that yet....probably becasue the last two days it's been nothing but old ladies and kids in the pool....I don't think either one would want to hear me sing or see me poop out of my top again. LOL

Congrats. That has to feel amazing. Keep up the great work.

@ALongerLife....I would so be the person wearing headphones singing out loud and not even realizing it. I sing out loud when I'm not wearing anything so it would be even funnier if I did that in the pool. I need to try that tomorrow. hehe

I try to stay away from full frontal naked mirror shots of myself. I think this is something we learn to do as we get bigger and bigger. I can't tell you the last time I stood buck A@@ naked in front a mirror on purpose......then again, why else would I stand in front of one? But today, I did. Back story to how this finally came to be. I was laying out at the pool today and I looked down at my legs and I thought, "Hummmm, is that just weight loss or is it skin? is it a little of both." I then tried to ignore it, but ended up in the water doing leg lifts and any other leg work out I could do to help "tighten" the area. So, after a 1/2 hour of trying to work the area, I decided to just relax and enjoy the sun and fun. Now, anyone who knows me knows that once I get something in my head, I can't let it go. I do obsess sometimes....ok, most of the time....my husband is laughing and saying, "you mean ALLLLLL the time.". ANYWAY......lol So, I decided to pack up and come home. As soon as I came in, I took off my bathing suit and went to stand in front of the only full length mirror in our home. Remember, fat people don't like full length mirrors...they are the enemy. I haven't had a full length mirror in my home for over 10 years. The only reason I have one now is that it's the door to one of the closets in the house. As you can imagine, I didn't pick that door out. At first I couldn't look at my whole body. I stayed focused on my boobs and up. I am used to seeing this section of my body before or after a shower so I knew what to expect. My chin is a normal one chin, my face had thinned out, my collar bone is beginning to show itself and my boobs are hanging a little low. SIDE BAR: Every time I look at my boobs (even before surgery) I sing this tune, "Do my boobs hang low? Do they wobble to and fro? Can I tie them in a knot? Can I tie them a Bow? Can I throw them over my shoulder like a continental solder? Do my boobs hang low." So far I haven't been able to make a knot or throw them anywhere except in a bra to push them up. Now you all know that song is stuck in your head right now....don't lie. LOL Ok, so they looked the same. The boobs were hanging a little more and my "wings" are a little more wing like. I take a deep breath. I slowly allow my eyes to move down my naked body. The tummy area is looking smaller. There is some possible loose skin but only time will tell for sure about that. My hour glass figure is starting to show itself again (my husband is in heaven about that) and for where I should be right now after surgery, everything looks like it should. Now, I don't plan to run out and buy a bikini to show off my six pack abs. I may go by a six pack of beer to show off since I can't really drink it. LOL Finally, I look to my my legs. Now, before I explain what I saw, you have to understand that prior to my back issues, I was always active. I was never"thin" but I was toned and tight. My legs were very muscular and I always hated how bulky they were. Then today as I forced myself to look at the area I was scared to death to face thigh to eye (a little word play LOL) , I realized I was no longer 25. I still have muscle but much less. Then I saw it or should I say THEM. The jowls. Right between my thighs in the upper part of my legs under my special lady place. They just hung there, all wrinkled up and looking like they should begin slobbering soon I was expecting to find the rest of the bull dog but thankfully that didn't happen. I was shocked. When did this happen? Was it before surgery and is now worse due to the weight loss? Then I looked at my thighs to my knees? Yeap, there is all is. It all made perfect sense. I have lost so much weight so quickly that my legs already need a lift and I'm just half way done with my weight loss. By the time I am ready to have any reconstructive plastic surgery, I will be tying things in bows and throwing them over my shoulder. Then It all really hit me. Once I am done losing the weight, I will be thin but I will have the body of a ninety year old. How can I feel sexy wearing all that skin? I can see it now, "Honey, just throw that left boob over my right shoulder and then you separate the jowls between my legs to look for the "area"." Yeah, that's a real turn on. Lucky for me, I have a great husband and someday soon I will have a great plastic surgeon. My new song after I get my jowls removed and my stomach tucked and my breasts filled and lifted will be, "They don't hang low, or wobble to and fro, the surgeon cut em off becasue they were hanging to floor.......I'll have to work more on the song but you get the idea.

After my past few posts, I had to post these. Hope you get a laugh from them like I did.

@Katie I grew up near a vacation area (beach) and I have always had the mentality that no matter how big or bad I look, there is ALWAYS someone that looks worse. I proudly flaunt my jowls at the pool and the beach. If people don't like the look of them, they don't have to look. Now, with that said....I will say that I will have plastic surgery but only for me. I figure if I am going through all this, I want to look REALLY good for once in my life...and if nip and tuck is needed than so be it.

Also, I read this to my husband and I asked, "Did you notice the skin on my legs?" He responded yes. WHAT????? How could yo not tell me. He said, "I figured you would eventually see it and deal with it...more than likely in your blog." I have to admit, he really does know me. Gosh, I love that man.

Thank you all so much for your kind words. You have no idea how happy it makes me to know that people are enjoying my journey and that I can make you all laugh. I have to admit, there are times I post a blog and get no comments and I wonder, "Was it not good? Did they think I should have said something else?" So it's always nice to get feed back! I promise to keep writing if you promise to keep reading.

I have always been very "normal" when it comes to going number 2. Ok, stop laughing. Yes, I am going to talk about bowel movements. I have always said I would be honest and open and this is something EVERYONE does. There is no need to be ashamed or shocked. If you feel uncomfortable reading about this, move on to another blog. I won't take it personal. Ok, now that I've told everyone what's coming down the pipe (pun intended) we should all be ready for an open and frank discussion about poop. It's something that everyone does and after surgery, I have found that I do it much less than before. I used to go once or even twice a day. There were times where after a good poop (you know the kind I am talking about....the ones where when you're done you feel like you've lost five to ten pounds) I would feel lighter and have a little more energy. Now, I barely go. Then, to top it off, it's never easy. I can't just get the feeling and go sit on the toilet for five or ten minutes. Nope, I get the feeling and end up spending a half an hour in there listening to "plop, plop,plop." It's never a nice S shape poop that you hear Dr. Oz always talk about. It's more like there is a very large rabbit in my colon. And, I have the poop to prove it. Well, I don't have it sitting next to me in a bowl or anything. That would just be gross. I just mean that when I do poop it comes out in small little nuggets. I have tried everything. I have added fiber to my drinks, taken stool softeners, and even laxatives. The only change is that the little things come out a little easier. Now, the reason I am writing about this is to see if anyone else is having this issue and if so how are you dealing with it. Also, is this normal and does it get better over time. I will be honest, I don't think I can live with a rabbit in my colon for the rest of my life....I don't care how thin I am. Wait, I take that back. I used to say I would do anything to be thin....I guess little nugget poop is my "anything".

@4alongerlife I wish my back problems would go away...but I know they won't. Every doctor I've seen has said that I'm pretty much screwed when it comes to my back. The good thing is I have one last option and I am hoping it works....if not, then I will continue to do what I've don't for 18 years....grin and bare it. No need to let my pain control me. I take each day at a time and only do the things I know I can.

It's been two months and four days since I had my WLS and I have to admit, I didn't know how much I had changed physically until today. Don't get me wrong, I knew my clothes were bigger or didn't fit at all. I knew I felt better in a bathing suit than I have in years but I am at that point, that I don't see any major changes. Now, my husband keeps telling me that I am one the "rare" people who have lost my weight evenly throughout my body. I guess he's right, becasue it wasn't until we look my two month photos that I saw a huge difference. Since surgery I have lost fifty five pounds. I have lost eighty five from my highest weight (which I do not have a photo of) WARNING: These are not pin up photos. They show FAT....lots of it. They show folds and stretch marks and all the things as overweight people we have tried to hidden most of or lives. They show parts of my body that no one besides my husband has ever seen this big. This is very hard fro me to do, but I figured that people need to see that changes do happen after surgery even when we don't feel like they are happening. Also, I always promised to keep my posts honest and real and I figured this is the most honest and real I could be. Before Surgery First Month Second Month Before Surgery First Month Second Month

Way to go!!!! You look great and are doing an amazing job. You'll be in those 32's before you know it.

Thank you...and congrats on being in a size 18. I have no idea what size I am due to all my paints have strings right now. LOL

I was sleeved on April 12th and I am doing very well. I get my protein in via Lean Shakes and for dinner I eat chicken. My issue is that I am getting sick of chicken. All other meats don't seem to sit well with me. I am very good with bacon for some reason. I can also eat some nuts as a snack. While I was PMSing, Nutella and little pretzel stix were good too but I couldn't eat very many. The nutella seemed to hit the need for something sweet. My issue is that I don't like to make a "meal" becasue I can't eat much of it. I cook two chicken breasts and then take 2ounces at a time and mix with some lomein or I just eat it plain. So, what are you all eating and how much? I need ideas.