2BThinAlways

109 lbs gone in less than 6 months. I'm very happy about that. I'm wearing clothes I haven't worn in years (thank god I saved them) and I feel really great. I need to work out more. I know that being more active because I can helps a lot, but I need to do the extra too. I'm so satisified with my decision on this surgery. I have ZERO regrets. I don't even regret that I didn't have it done sooner really because I think my experience wouldn't have been as great as it was with Dr. Almanza.
I have had zero complications - I've not overeaten, I've not had any dumping or reactions to food. If I crave something, I have a bite and either throw the rest away or give it to my hubby to finish and I'm satisfied. I've never really had an overeating problems since I was a teenager (which wasn't about anything other than being starved by my mother) - once I dealt with that, it wasn't ever a problem.
Now its more about eating all the protein that I can fit in my stomach. I take my vitamins as well. I know I need to get more veggies in and I do try. I feel that I'm on a good path and I'm looking forward to staying on it.

I'm working graveyard shift today, but my body doesn't want to cooperate with sleep...so here I am, awake when I should be asleep. But it's ok.
 
Since my breakdown on Monday, I've been making a concerted effort to really question my motivations for anything that comes in or out of my mouth. I hadn't realized it, but I have been buying into the pity that has been coming from aquaintances:
 
"If I could only eat a few bites, I would DIE!"
 
"Aren't you going to end up like Carnie Wilson? You know, she had that surgery and gained it all back."
 
"Wow, you're going to be so sick...I had a (insert friend or relative here) who had that surgery, and he/she was so malnourished that she had to live in the hospital for (insert long period of time), they had to feed her through a tube and he/she almost died!"
 
"We're all going out drinking....you coming CatLady? Oh, that's right...no fun for you anymore!"
 
etc, etc, etc.
 
I'm not sure why I took so many of these to heart, but I have. It comes down to feeling....abnormal. It's a feeling I've struggled with almost my entire life. I just want to fit in - and since surgery, it feels like I stick out even more. For some reason, I chose to remedy this in a fashion that was really no remedy at all. It just made me feel like more of a screw up.
 
So my goal this week has been to listen only to myself, not what I -THINK- others may think or say about me. It has been challenging, but doable. The big realization is that I *AM* normal. THIS is my new normal. and I've got to go with the flow.
 
Took my daughter to Panda Express (her favorite place) to celebrate the last day of school, and was perfectly content picking at 1/4 of a side's worth of Mushroom Chicken. Enjoyed talking to her and being inside in the air conditioning. And felt ok. Just have to lock this feeling away and remember it.

Its been a while since I've been here - I've been trying to pop in once in a while when I get the chance, but I've been so busy! I have now officially dropped over 70 lbs since I started my preop, and over 50 since surgery 3 months ago. I have had no complications, my skin is bouncing back thus far (I know I'll need to have some work done later but I'm good with that) - I have energy, I have enthusiasm and I have the best future ahead of me.
I have been staying away from the scale - about every 3 weeks I weigh myself. I weighed myself the other day and I was at 314, and that's with a few pounds of bloat since its that time of the month. I'll weigh myself again in a few weeks to see where I'm at - I don't wanna see a 3 as that first number the next time I step on the scale.
 
I haven't had much opportunity to really incorporate additional exercise other than being a billion times more active than normal to my routine, but I'm getting there. As soon as i was able to, I of course tweaked my shoulder. But I'm feeling better and will be getting the exercise roaring very soon.
 
I have noticed some of my tastes change - I still crave red meat - that will never change. The large majority of what I eat has always been lean protein, but now....those "guilty pleasure" items - mac and cheese, potatoes, anything really starchy just doesn't do it for me anymore. I really dig that. Hubby and I went out to breakfast at Cracker Barrel and I had their egg sandwich, which I ate the 2 eggs and had a bite of the hashbrown casserole and a small bite of hubby's pancakes and they just didn't satisfy me - I just wanted the eggs!
 
Wow - i just got distracted by Maks on DWTS - (watching the results show on the DVR and he was dancing to "Let's get it on" good thing watching him dance is calorie free - in fact I think I just burned a few calories watching that! haha!)
 
Anyway! back to what I was saying! I've gone down in clothes sizes, I have the steering wheel all the way down in the car (my legs used to hit it), I sit in booths and feel small in them, there ain't a chair my butt won't fit in and I even sleep better and don't need as much sleep as I did for so long, I fit comfortably in the bathtub to take a bath (one of my favorite things) I'm wearing clothes I havent worn in years. I put on a pair of heels and not only did they fit my feet, they didn't hurt my feet. I'm getting my shoes back! Yay! Right now, I weigh less than I have in about 4 years. I cannot believe the progress. Once I got those f**king tumors out of my body, I'm feeling so much better - the only rage I have is that I couldn't get it done sooner. However, I have come to terms with that for the most part. I think that with the breast cancer scare, the steroid tumors, nearly losing my marriage, all the trials and tribulations that my husband and I went through with losing our jobs and our employer stealing tens of thousands of dollars from us has made us stronger individually and as a couple. Nothing in my life that I wanted has EVER come easily - but I tell you what - I have more appreciation for everything I have brought to myself than most people I know - and I will FIGHT for it. I cannot describe what all of these battles have done for me as a person. I'm glad that I got to know so many people here. I'm glad that I had the surgeon I did. While I'm not glad that our previous employer stole so much money from us, I'm glad of the outcome that we ended up where we did with the careers that we have now.
I am decidedly in love with my husband and we love our life and what we have to offer to the world. We can't wait to see what happens next. Many that I talk to about this wonder how having to have surgery to have tumors and the majority of my stomach removed could be the best thing that's happened to me in a long time. I just smile and tell them that they haven't lived my life
What I do know is that life is good and its getting GREAT
 
If you can't tell - I'm very excited about the future.

Okay, seriously, has anybody else felt that nesting instinct right before surgery? I've cleaned the heck out of my house! I'm practically seeing animated sparkles floating in the air...or at least I did until my kitty just threw up on the floor. Thanks, Mara. Also I'm totally diggin' this liquid diet. I feel really light and bouncy on my feet and have lost over 10 pounds. Another humerus aspect is that I'll be gone for 2 weeks as I'm staying with my parents and when I get back it'll be all dusty again, lol! So, the day after tomorrow is it! I'm so excited! And it's gonna go by fast, because I have to get up at 4am for work, then after I get off at 1pm I run on home to pick up the kitty and then drive 3.5 hours to my parents. Then we wait for my mom to get home, then we get in the car and drive 1.5 to the hospital (they have hotel-type rooms you can rent for $25) as I have a 7am check in time! Finally, surgery!
 
Ya'll, life is plain peachy right now! Woot woot!

Wow!! Today marks a 50 lb loss...the most I have ever lost in one sitting...and the weight continues to melt away....I am excited when I meet up with friends and family who havn't seen me in a while who compliment me on how thin my face looks and even my own brother says he can see the loss in my waist line....
 
Easter was a challenging day! I got up early and quickly whipped up 3 pumpkin pies and a chocolate cream pie. I put the big ole' ham in the oven to bake with a brown sugar mustard glaze like all the family loves. I baked up a sweet potatoe and defiled it with butter brown sugar and marshmellows. we did not have a turkey as we were at my daughters and this is what she had to prepare. I make a green bean cassarole and stuffing and a fruit salad, I peeled 5 lbs of potatoes and made mashed taters...and when it was all place in the buffet line for all to go thru, I took a teaspoon of everything and managed to finish most of it before feeling the satisfaction of eating Easter Dinner with my family as I always had in the past. I did skip the pies and the amazing desert buffet my sister in law had prepared but everyone else was able to indulge. Easter was a success!
 
I did not lose any weight over the holiday, however I did not gain any either.

I have been heavy up and down all my life. I had thought about the RNY but it seemed to drastic and way out of reach dolllar wize in the states. I recently just 2 years ago saw a dr. in Bend Oregon who before he would see me had to have cash up front of $2500 just for some simple tests and exam. well that was a waste of cash! well tax return came and went...other things are always more important than yourself.
 
I finally had a visit with a local girl in Burns who had Dr. Aceves perform her lap band...she was excited, happy with the care and services. The hospital was clean and quiet....she could not boast loud enough about the care she recieved, So I did some research and this is when I made the decision...this year was gonna be my time to shine. My knees are going to feel better when they are not packing 354 lbs of person on them.
 
This grama of 4 is gonna be a cool grama, one that can kneel down and kiss the babies and get down and play on the floor with them. My babies will never again say "Grama why you so tired all the time"....I am excited to start my new way of living.
 
I have lost my love life relationship with my husband, I want this back more than anything. He is not so supportive and over the years has become more of a roommate than a husband. I want this to change aas well, I want to rock his world again like I did the first time we met. I love him more than he knows.
 
I have very supportive friends and family during this time, so I am praying for a fast recovery and quick weight loss.
 
I will post more when I get home.

Having surgery to help me manage my weight has been something I have only dreamed of being able to do for years. Things are finally lining up. I have only just begun this journey. I am excited, anxious, jumping out of my skin. I can't wait to find out what the next step is....

300 Pounds down Update

There hasn't been anything I've put in it that it doesn't like (that's a plus)
I get a definite signal when I'm full (RARELY physically felt full before surgery) so no overeating
Haven't had any issues with acid
Haven't had any issue with pain.
I feel satisfied at every meal. Its just a huge change.
The steroid issues I had are getting so much better
I have lots of energy.
I am just finally on my way back to health. I almost feel like i'm turning back time.

So I've decided, every pound I lose, I put a marble in a jar. Every marble will be worth 10 bucks. When I hit goal, that'll be 2 grand. That's my trip to Alaska

I got up this morning and got dressed for my job interview today. WHAT A MESS! None, and I mean NONE of my clothes fit me - some were too small (granted I was expecting that) but the ones I JUST BOUGHT were too big. And not tuck here or pin there too big - TOO FREAKING BIG. I had to run to Kohls and buy new clothes because I had NOTHING to wear! I put on a pair of pants that, I was going to wear to Mexico for surgery less than 3 weeks ago and they were just too tight - not comfortable at all. Today, they're too big. I mean TOO BIG! Like awkwardly too big! I'm so excited about this! I wonder if i still have the receipt....

I'm now 2 weeks out and I've lost 14 lbs since surgery, 36 since i started my pre-op.
I'm feeling pretty good about it. I wish it was more, but we all wish that, don't we?
I also have my time of month, so I know that's probably good for about 3-5 lbs.
 
I have noticed, as my endo said I would that the adrenaline issues from the tumors on my adrenal glands is significantly LESS. The adrenaline created is partly in response to the grehlin created in the stomach. Hormones cause other hormones to do other hormonal things.
 
When a person feels hungry, they have a survival instinct that kicks in brought about by adrenaline. Huh. makes sense.
 
Happy with my progress thus far. Happy with my choice. Happy with my recovery. Just getting very happy these days
 
I know I'm about ready for the 3 week stall, which I'm okay with. Its not like I can eat a cheesecake over it

I'm down over 30 lbs since I started my preop. I feel great about that. I'm eating okay and getting in a walk every day. stitches come out tomorrow. Yay!

Today, I didn't have the fatigue mid-morning like I did the other days. Step in the right direction! I'm getting better and better every day I'll be making an appointment to remove my stitches soon. Can't wait
Starting protein shakes tonite

Got home last night - felt great after getting off the plane. The walk through the airport was another story - the airport is under construction so the signs don't actually send you in the right direction - must have literally walked a mile to get out of there to get to the shuttle to get to the car. I was pretty tired by then and getting irritable.
 
Once we got outside though , the cool air reinvigorated me and I felt pretty good. I drove us home from the airport and my doggies were very happy to see us. Hubby did a good job keeping them from jumping up on me. Usually they sit in the recliner with me on my lap, which can't happen right now, so they're bummed and frankly, so am I about that Ah well, soon enough
 
I showered today and cleaned my inscisions and recovered the one that my bra touches and also the one with the drain - I'll steri strip that one in a day or two - but it still has a little bit of drainage from it. Everything seems to look good - only one inscision is tender and that's the biggest one. I'm minding that.
 
I take my temp regularly to ensure i don't have a fever and I'm good to go.
 
Things are going very well

I'm one day post-op and I feel like a million bucks. I'm sore of course, but I haven't taken any pain medicine all day - I figure if my menstrual cramps were this bad, I wouldn't take pain meds for them, so why for this? All in all, I feel pretty good - its hard to get comfortable for me because i'm a stomach sleeper - well - at least I won't be for a while.
 
We checked in at the hotel and its a beautiful room - just kinda haning out - hubby is snoozing - I took a little nap. Time seems to crawl by - I have to be back at the clinic for a checkup at 5- they come to get us.
 
I swear if the peope at the clinc were any nicer, they'd melt in the rain like sugar. I can't get over how they are so genuinely sweet. They don't condescend to you, they don't forget about you. They're really there to take care of you.
 
I'm now to the point where I can sip water, but I still feel pretty hydrated from the iv's.
 
I cannot wait to take a shower. Hopefully that will be tonite.
 
I'm still a little gassy, but nothing spectacular. I'm hoping to sleep through the night, but don't have any expectations to. Again, that's just me - I'm an insomniac.
 
Oh - and everyone at the clinic is just gorgeous. Inside and out.

I went to the Doctor last week for a consultaion about the GSV surgery. At age 27, my BMI is 62 with a height of only 5'7". Doc said if I do not do something drastic, I will not live to see 40. That not only scred the crap out of me, it has acted as a super motivator. Exercise = life!
 
I am on day 3 of my new diet, hight protien, high fiber, low fat, low sugar, low carb and exercise daily. All is going well, even though I have been tempted, I have to think of my ulimate goal which is to get healthy and live as long as I am ment to. I want to be a motivating factor for my family and give my nieces someone to look up to!
 
My dad told me a good quote the other day that has stuck with me. "A body in motion tends to stay in motion, while a body at rest tends to stay at rest" - Newton
 
So I know if I get home and sit down to relax, thats it, I'm done for the day. So instead, as soon as I get home I hop on my eliptical and knock it out! This seems to really help me. I am always exhausted and sore afterwards, but a little time goes by and I get a big energy boost. Aside for the energy, exercise makes you happier in general! Ah the wonders of the chemistry that makes up our bodies - amazes me sometimes.
 
I am still working on financing for my GSV procedure and hope to finsh this up Monday so I can get a date. I thought I might as well get a jump start while I am waiting so I am eating right and doing my best to exercise and stay motivate.
 
I love the support the members on here have given me in the last few days and find it contagious, I want to help motivate others as well. I think this will help me stay motivated as well.
 
Hope to here some of your stories soon. More to come....