DynamoMini

Desi - Sorry you have so much pain. I hope it is getting better. Best wishes, smile - you did it!

Nikki - Good luck with your banding. I am being banded on April 16th. I am the oldest in my family too. I was the one who kept the peace and still has the celebration meals. I understand. You are doing great!

Hi Misty - Yes, I met with Paula. It was a lot of information at once. I am sure we will do well, tho' everyone has been so positive about Dr. K. I have been sampling different kinds of protein smoothies. I don't have a favorite yet. I live near the Denver Tech Center, just south of the Cherry Creek Reservoir. I won't be at the April meeting but I will be there in May. It is great to meet other people who "get" me. Best wishes and keep in touch. My regular email is mich1550@aol.com Michelle

Hey Misty - My surgery is on April 16th. We'll have to compare notes. I agree that he is great. Do you live in the Denver area? Best wishes, Michelle

Hey mattie - Good for you. My surgery isn't until April 16th. It helps to know about some of the people who get through it easily too. Best wishes,

babygrl1234 - you are doing the program, funny how it builds. But I still have days.

Judi - Best wishes on this new adventure.

Hey Lap Dancer, I thought we were gonna be April buddies. I'm with Drewslou, get 'r done. Let me know what you decide.

Shesha - thanks for posting your results with the fill. I am having surgery on the 16th of April and want to do everything right. I am also encouraged that doing the fill in the am, gave you the ability to fix things in the afternoon. I understand that some docs are charging $300 to $400 for a fill, so the flight doesn't look as bad in that context. I am impressed how much you have already lost. Really it has just been 6 weeks, you go girl!

So happy for you! You are doing really well. I was just curious. Best wishes,

Congratulations! Was it weird to have a robot do your banding? I hope you have a speedy recovery. Best wishes,

Dear going down, You sound very ready for a fill. I really don't know as I haven't been banded yet, however, after reading the posts, it sounds like that to me. You have done soooooooo well, so pat yourself on the back and call the doc. You shouldn't feel hungery with the band, or so I've been told. Best wishes and welcom here,

:help: I am sorry to report that I still have issues with my mother. I wonder if any of you Bandsters out there have similar issues. Mom is: 1) hyper controlling 2) makes comments that are inappropriate and demeaning 3) says things like, "you can't expect me to change. Just tell me to quit it." 4) after being told not to discuss my eating asks, "ok, now WHAT did YOU have for dinner?" innocently smirking I am 57, working with a therapist and struggling. The problem is that I have always been a "good" girl and taken care of my mother. I am also a loving mother. If my sons asked me not to talk about something I would be grateful they told me and respectful not to mention whatever it is. That is how I show love to them. Not my mom. I know that every family has it's crazies, but I was hoping to find a way to insulate myself and not cut her off, but the fat didn't do it, my voice isn't heard by her, so do I say, "stay away?" I'll read any help that is sent my way and share your mother stories here. I need to heal. My weight issues started with really early programming from mom. Any one else in my boat??? :cry

Shesha - Thanks. I hope I heal as quickly as you. You are doing so well. I will have as much organized as I possibly can. My 19 year old still wants his mommy, but wtf he can get stuff himself and help me out. Best wishes,

Wow, Pamela, I am going to order that book and the 'Changes that Heal' by the New Life Counseling group, headed by Cloud, Townsend and Artiburn. You are soooooooo right that our relationships are based on the mother-daughter thing. I am mourning that I will never be loved the way I need to be. Mom appears wonderful and perfect to everyone else. I also had a brother on a pedestal, who I am always hearing about. My sis came late and shook up the family with her own self-centeredness. But she was buolimic, so even she didn't escape. Congrats on your surgery date! I follow you on the 16th. It is a wonderful decision and I am celebrating it every day. Best wishes,

Shesha - I am very interested in how you are doing. My banding date is April 16th. I don't really know how much home help I need to line up. I am local so I don't have the flying to consider. Isn't Dr K wonderful? Are you able to climb stairs, get up and down from bed? Etc. Michelle

I am not banded yet, but was told to expect a four hour time from beginning to end. I hope I can walk outta there.

Ditto to everything just said!

Both my sons are adopted and they are wonderful. I think adoption is an option that you might consider, rather than the complication of a family member who isn't stable carrying your child. I agree with the majority of the responses. My sons and I couldn't be any closer. In a way, i am able to have a little more perspective into what is nature and what is nurture with each of them. I went through the fertility stuff and it was deadly for me, and feeling whole as a woman. So many children out there to love, good luck with your decision,

Good luck on your surgery. Mine is scheduled April 16th. My doc doesn't require a liquid preop diet, but I think lots of proteins. Best wishes and a speedy recovery with weight loss,

Kyethra - We are products of our environments in one way or another. You are doing a great job of separating and boundary setting. I just need to see it as it is coming and not cringe with regrets that I didn't protect myself, like I want to. You have a lot of insight into your relationship. It is a no -win type of deal. It is hard when we can't extract ourselves from the situations. I am currently ignoring her, and keeping our conversations brief. But I am going to Mexico with her and another aunt and cousin next week for 9 days. I don't know, it may have to get a little ugly. I won't be abused any more. Good luck with your banding!

Scarlett - I think we have the SAME mom. Nice to everyone else, but horrible to us. I am a wimp too. I am working on my backbone tho, it is the only way I can survive and thrive. We deserve a healthy life and I guess I'll have to give up on a mom that loves me the way I love. That's another reality. FurEllie - I loved your story about your SIL and your bet. I know my sis and I talk about it, but sometimes she joins the enemy, so I have to be careful. Thanks for your story.

Oh Linny, The meanness, where does it come from? It is a triumph that you have raised your kids differently. I helps the healing process but did not seem to fix me inside. I am pulling back from my mom and I don't want to hear any more about my surgery or what I am eating. I'm sure she'll have "hurt" feelings when I don't involve her that day, but I don't want or need any negativity. I will invite her over when I feel energy and confident after surgery. She was a nurse for God sakes, with the bedside manner of Godzilla. Our age is similar and we have been damaged by the unrelenting disparagement, but we can choose to have a healthy life. I finally am feeling that I deserve to have a healthy life. It has taken 57 years, mom may not be able to adjust to my changes, she doesn't really want them, who will she pick on? Me, someone else suggested that she'll find something else. That, I can handle. It won't trigger all the half century of food grief. Best wishes and keep in touch, Michelle Michelle

This may sound very silly---and I am not at all familiar with the situation you are in. If anything, I can only hope to be as supportive as my Mom. Would it work for you to be just a little rebellious? Keep a secret. Guard that secret CLOSELY!!! She cannot know about your band---and then when she dogs you over food, you can secretly smile to yourself---because you know something she doesn't. Eventually the band itself will help you with the eating to insulate the feelings. And you have everyone here to share the secret with, As time goes on and the weight comes off, you will have to find a new secret, same as she will have to find something new to pick on. Kat Kat, I cringe to think of the next thing she'll find to pick on. It will probably be about finding a man. I do already have a perfect retort to that because after my dad died, she did nothing to date or hook up. So, let 'er rip. Thanks for the support.

O2BThin - Thanks, I loved the elephant on the shoulder analogy. It is abusive, so much better when mom isn't talking sh-t about me, eating, food, or the band. It really affects my relationship with her and my eating. If only I could just ignore, redirect, etc. I don't seem to be able to do that yet. I am working toward that, however. I think I need the space between her comments and my ears. I will have to put the fence up between us again, with very direct words. Like if you want to spend time together you will have to not talk about food, my band, or my weight. I'd done that a year ago, and she backed off enough for me to deal with my issues. It really helped. There is a part of her that really doesn't want me to change my lifestyle. I won't be poor Michelle with the weight problem any more. Oh my. Thanks your words mean so much to me,