DynamoMini

marcy - it is really easy to get to the Red Robin. Where are you staying? The directions will vary based on that. When is your surgery? Perhaps someone else can drive you? Let me know where you are coming from and then I can give you good directions. You must be getting really excited! Good Morning to all of you! Hope your day brings you much happiness, it is going to be really HOT here and for the weekend too. Hugs, Michelle

You look marvelous! :whoo::whoo::whoo::whoo::whoo::whoo:

Drews - you and I were writing at the same time. Can you come on the 12th? I would love to see you. You are such an integral part of our healing. You are successful, our role model. I know it is heavy, but I sure hope you can be there. Hugs, Michelle

Of course I am the only obese person in my family but still convinced myself that I would somehow beat the odds despite being overweight all my life. I'm lucky that my wake-up call came after being banded so weight loss won't be such a struggle. You said it absolutely perfectly. We all have this magical thinking that redesigns our reflection in the mirror, insulates us from medical issues, and just ignores the data we are being given. All these defenses have saved us too. That is what I am learning in therapy. I have come to my obesity with care taking intentions, it was the best solution to issues I couldn't deal with in other ways. So glad that you are doing well, have good genes and are on the way to a healthy life. Best wishes,

:faint: The Pep Talk Okay friends, we can do this! We deserve a healthy life, we have done this a gazillion times before, we can do it better this time through! :car: The Whine That said, coming off vacation sucks. I feel like I am rattling around a house I am not connected to. I feel lost in space. :hungry: Overeating 101 What happened to my eating patterns that I had really firmed up? I am recording everything that I put into my mouth but I am no longer making the best food choices. Those four kisses that I scarfed before 10 am are an example. So I super cleaned the kitchen in order to de-sweet my visual triggers and throw away crap food. :whoo::whoo: The Gym Went to the gym yesterday for an hour. It was good to sweat and feel positive energy about my commitment. :think Lap Dancer I will totally miss you. Can you get a buddy ticket from someone else? You have an invitation to stay with me. Maybe you can bring your son the next visit to reduce the cost??? Don't give up on yourself. You can do this, you deserve a healthy life! You are so creative and high energy make that work for your self-care. :rolleyes Woofay It is you and me babe, we planned for the band to do the job, poop, it doesn't. :angry This is a great disappointment to me too. I thought it was all going to be different once I had the band, now some things are more realistic. I need to be much tighter than I am now to force me to eat less :hungry:, but beyond that I have to recommit to myself and to a program of health and well being. :sick The Headwork (oy vie) This is the damn head work! Do I really deserve a "normal" life? What do I have to give up in order to be (feel) like other people? What do I have to give up in order to think like other people? What do I have to give up in order to behave like other people? Am I willing to change? :) :girl_hug: :girl_hug: :girl_hug: :girl_hug: :girl_hug: :girl_hug: :girl_hug: :girl_hug: :girl_hug: :girl_hug: :girl_hug: :girl_hug: :girl_hug: :girl_hug: The Hugs - because we really need them! I chose weight as my life's problem to resolve. I now choose health and well-being as my goal and my focus. So, with your support, I know I can do this really challenging thing, give up some parts that are holding me back and move into the new or underdeveloped parts that will create my future. Tears? Certainly. Hard work? Yes Cheers? You bet. Friends who really "get" me? Thank you.

Sunta - Congratulations! Wooooooooooooo whoooooooooooo! I am nervous to get on the scale, but I will on Monday. After traveling, eating really well, then spending just a few days of vacation time with my mom and aunt in New Jersey; it was amazing the trigger it was for me to go on a candy and cookie hunt. Sneak eating - sick stuff. But I'm home again, exercising and going forward. I'm so glad I have the support here. hugs to all, michelle

Crabcake - I have some similar reactions. From your mouth to God's ears, let it be so! :eek:

Karen - I was a big skeptic about the surgery. What, sign up for and pay for another failure? I have to tell you it doesn't "fix" fat thinking or any of the reasons I have gained the weight. What it does do is slows down my eating, appetite, and earmarked a new era with food, not a perfect era, but new era in the way I am thinking about myself and food. I am logging everything that enters my mouth on calorieking.com, I am exercising, I am conscious of what I put in my mouth and accountable for it. Now, I haven't lost that quickly, but am I making healthy choices? For the most part yes. Am I controlling my portions? Again, for the most part yes. Am I dieting perfectly? No way. Am I exercising? Yes I am commited to five days a week for 45 minutes with weight training two times per week. As I am doing this I am establishing a positive pattern with food, that I never had. Dr. K is very holistic, compared to the other doczillas I have seen referred to here. I had no side effects from the surgery, I did wake up slowly from the anesthesia and was nausious for about 12 hours. I used the suppositories and it calmed down. I didn't have the gas pains, some people seem to. I have a tool, not a fix. GB is a cure, but so unhealthy. With the band you have to do the work that you would do anyway. My goal in all this isn't to weight 110 pounds (nice) or catch a man (nice) or teach aerobics class (nice). I just want to be healthy and physically fit. Not much to ask for, we all deserve to have a healthy life. Soapbox done! Good luck with your decision. Attitude is everything. Michelle

Mal - I try to get between 60 - 80 grams of protein a day and fiber from the Kashi, salad and fruits and veggies. Sometimes I have a problem with constipation, which is something totally new for me. In NYC I started adding ground up flaxseed and bran to yogurt and even my eggs. That seemed to fix the problem. Benefiber is great and you can regulate the amount an put it into protein shakes. It has not taste or texture so that is a good thing. About the water - I guess it is 30 minutes before and after. There are Nazi docs out there that seem to really want their patients to suffer, not Dr. K. Well, hope your day is good and that this is helpful. Hugs - I missed you guys!

I'm back from the great NYC and beyond. Went to the shore (beach) on Monday and walked the boardwalk where I had walked with my grandpa. It was nostalgic, saw the old house (looked runned down). The two days with my aunt and mom were tough. I found myself often looking and finding chocolates and cookies, where I didn't do that often when I was with my cousin. I walked the city, so fun, the shows, the museum, I never wanted to go to sleep at night. Came home to bills, my son Max, who is great but needy and the dog's poopy butt. No wonder I thought vacation was the best! Drews - you look great. I want a fill that is tighter, I can eat the kitchen sink now, I think my last fill didn't hit home. Hugs! Mal - you are such a honey. I think a tight fit is what I want too. Hugs! Marcy (Ms Nome) - your babies are gorgeous, and you are living a life of adventure with style! Hugs! Woofay - glad to hear things are going well for you! Hugs! Lap Dancer - glad you are arting away, you know art feeds your soul. Hugs! Okay, so far the plan is - - - - so we are meeting the 12th, let's just go to the Red Robin because people now know where it is, and it isn't about the food anyway, its about the company. It's there at 7 pm or someone else please organize this group! Tell me I'll be there. let me know. I have to go to the gym to work off the cookies and candy. Smiling without pictures of the wedding - they had a photographer but he didn't include any fun pics so far on the website. Michelle

The NYC wedding! We took the subway 20 minutes before the event started, I carried heels, our boobies were showing, it was hot! Then we took the connecting train, got out and expected to take a cab. Oh no! Then called a car service and were taken to the old warehouse district. It took place in an old foundry under the Queensboro Bridge. Ivy covering the surrounding buildings, picture the bridge in the upper right corner through the tall picture windows, wedding hoopa suspended from the ceiling, brick walls, beautiful couple underneath, bride in a self-designed and made wedding gown with gorgeous veil hanging from the back of her head, droning minister who completely ignored their wedding program and went off on his own, then patio set up with jazz combo, two bars, horsd'ouves brought out - goat cheese with pistachios, lamb shanks, mini crabcakes, etc, then dinner at various stations, Greek food, seafood, pasta, etc., then dance music, great fun, Champagne toasts, three wedding cakes, pastry made by the son's Holocaust surviving grandmother. It was beautiful. We got home after 1 am, I drank much more than I have ever done, and danced up a storm - whew! We had the car service take us home, no boobies on the subway in the middle of the night for me! Hick from the west! So now I'm in upstate New York for two days, Millbrook. My cousin has a house in the country too. The yentas (as we call them) our moms and aunt are coming, my cousin and her son, my cousin's daughter and her aide, big party, I am going to take a walk before I eat more. Be well, I haven't thought about the diet thing much, but what are vacations for; I need a fill too. Hugs and be well, Michelle

Hi All, I think it is interesting the variety of approaches to the lapband that various docs. Many of us who are overweight haven't seen doctors often or only in crisis. I think it is wise for the doctors to be cautious and make sure the individual wants to really commit to a different eating lifestyle. I get a little nervousn when I hear about people starving themselves pre or post band. My take is that I am creating a new eating pattern and lifestyle. I found I was obsessing about weight loss and not focused on healthy lifestyle. It's the healthy lifestyle that will sustain the weight loss, but I get into the mentality that "I want it NOW!" My trainer, psychologist and acupuncturist all agree that my obsessing will ultimately undermine my weight loss, so I am taking it one day at a time. Eating healthfully without obsessing, exercising 45 minutes five days a week (not 6 or 7), and working on positive statements to myself. There is a part of me that is the cynic. "You really think this will work?" I believe, for me, it is the only way to sustain change. Are any of you struggling with the "big picture" ? Long term commitment? Really changing, not just to look good for the big event? :heh:

It is so exciting to watch and listen to all of you creeping towards Onederland. I'm in the Big Apple vacationing. Lots of good for me food and exercise. Even taking the subway you do stairs. I saw two plays, went to the Met, scoured Chinatown and attended a wedding (lots of calories but hours of dancing too). jacqui - feel better, being sick sucks! Don't worry about the weight, medication does that to me too. Drews - Way to go girl! You are almost there! And more than that, you have recommited yourself to a healthy, happy new lifestyle! Roll on! So I won't be weighing, but feel grateful to all of you for keeping the focus and positive thinking. Love you guys,

Another great day. We are going to Chinatown, schlepping around, then taking the subway to the wedding because it is at rush hour 6 pm Friday night. Crazy! We are going to wrap up the boobies with a shawl and bring our heels to change into. Can't wait to see you. I don't know what I weigh. I don't think my band is restricting me, but i'm eating ok. I can eat bread and muffins. I haven't tried Pasta after a PB on a Thai Spring Roll. Lap Dancer - loved the Toulse slide show, however, I will review it when I am home. Woofay - NYC is quite an experience. You'd love it. It is like visiting a foreign city, so different from our lives. Anyway, hugs and love to you all, Michelle

Hi everyone! Yes, i'm in the BiG Apple! I am going to a wedding on Friday evening. My cousin is a therapist in NYC and has an apartment on the upper west side. I really sound like I know what I am talking about don't I? Yesterday I took the subway, first time alone, to Times Square and lined up for theater tickets. I went to a matinee on my own. I saw Frost Nixon. it was amazing. Remember Tony Blair from the movie "Queen"? he was in it and Frank Langella won a Tony award for his portrayal of Nixon. I laughed and remembered those times. Today, I walked across Central Park to the Metropolitan Museum of Art and saw Renoir , Modigliani, Cezanne, Rembrandt and Picasso up close and personal. There is something about seeing art in person that moves me. Then, the intrepid traveler walked across Central Park again to 72nd street. Found the subway station on Broadway and took it to Times Square. Why? To get in line for more theater tickets. The half price line was a triple line back and forth across this alley. I waited for an hour and a half, then slowly made my way up front. I have tickets for the Drowsy Companion. Now Happy Birthday to you youngins', Mal - I am so happy you enjoyed your trip. So what if you didn't win a bunch, you had a good time! yes, the tipping in Vegas is pretty outrageous. Lap Dancer - we'll see you in July with your son. How old is he? Glad to hear things are good. Woofay - you are doing great. The fact that you aren't allowing the compulsion to drown you is amazing. You believe you can do it and you can. Drews - sexy momma! You look fantastic. So glad that you are back on track. Life isn't weight loss, but it sure feels better on the body. Skate on sista! hugs to all

Hi all - I am happy to report an "official" two pound loss, but now the even better part of that is that I am not obsessing about it. I just kept up the exercise and writing down everything that goes into my mouth. That seems to be the key for me. I'm going to NYC for a week starting tomorrow. Robin you are absolutely right, I am like and alcoholic. I can't eat like I used to, but could easily stuff the wrong stuff in. I also think there has to be a balance - for me, it can't be about being "perfect." I'll flunk! Woofay - so sorry to hear about your loss. It is really hard to not revert back to the comfort things we have used all our lives. Could you make something for his memory? I'm thinking that busy hands help me, may they would help you. Heart mending takes time. Maybe plant a tree or a flower bed in his memory. Hugs to a special you! Drews - thanks for filling us in on that group. It is fun to enjoy outdoor concerts in the summer, but is it the best place to talk? How's the knee? Have a good week, I'll probably be able to email anyway. It is good to stay in touch. Hugs,

:clap2: :clap2: :clap2: :clap2: :clap2: :clap2: :clap2: :clap2: :clap2: Stacy - Wow! You are doing so well. I hate those dressing rooms too. The threeway mirrors are not my friend. I was delighted to hear how well you have done and getting into smaller clothes is a treat. See you in Onederland!

These are heart wrenching and warming stories. Purplegirl - I went on a fasting diet when i was 16 and got down to a "normal" size, but that started the yo yo dieting that defined my life. At 57 i think it is remarkable that you have faced the monster and are getting a grip on it now. When I was 16 they didn't have WLS, it was WW or the egg and grapefruit diet. Obviously, all the diets in the world don't work as well as a band. My hat is off to you and I wish you well on your journey. Being active and happy is the best way to conquer the weight issue. No one understands who doesn't have this problem. Good for you! Let us know how your journey goes.

Woofay - me neither. But then I know I'm out of it. Hugs to you and all,

Once you've felt that unconditional love, not based on your looks, but about loving your insides, you won't go back. The head trip is devastating to overcome. Hat off to you. You are on the road getting banded and healing those wounds. What allowed me to choose my abusive husband was set in motion during early childhood. Thank God for therapy. The sucky thing is that I am still left with the problem and all the perpetrators are off doing their thing! Also, part of my reality is my residual anger towards these people, even tho' my nature wants to excuse them. My therapist says I have to feel this anger in order to heal. I hate feeling angry, but I am healing.

BJean - thanks for the compliment. It's funny, I don't really see myself as attractive when I look in the mirror. One of my goals is to learn to love myself as my second husband Ira loved me. I learned about unconditional love from him and am grateful. I want to turn off the editor and feel the warmth and radiance I felt from him. cmaiorano - you are a weight loss STAR! Congratulations! I am sure you must feel really proud of yourself. Great job losing! Best wishes all, Michelle

Jealousy and the problem for me - I know my work on this earth is to learn boundaries. I am the type of person that many people use for support and I love giving that, but I am also the type of person that many people abuse by taking all my energy and never giving anything back. This is because I don't set boundaries. I want to be with people who take and give, not just the takers. If someone is an energy sucker, I'll give them some time, we all have those low moments, but at some point I want to be around people who think the glass is at least half full, not half empty all the time. I'm really there when someone needs me, but now, I am working to set a boundary that is reasonable because I deserve to be in a half full world, with at least half full energy around me. This helps me emotionally. mboulis - same deal for me By the way the first husband got really jealous when I lost weight, and I put it right back on, it was easier at the time. The second husband was a love and it didn't matter how much I weighed. Is it that way for any of you?

Mal - you are a party animal. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! I think it would be fun to go to the Southlands mall, I haven't been. But I hope we can have some quality time before at a restaurant, it isn't the eating but the talking that soothes my soul these days. I think it would be fun! Have a great trip! gamble a little, drink a little, and just enjoy - you deserve this break! Drews - you must be alive and kicking! Woofay - how are you doing? Can you come up the 12th? Hugs, Michelle

Mal - You go girl, have fun in Vegas!

Jennifur - Hang in there. They can't have really been your friends, truly. I have experienced that type of judgment from my mother, and have had it all my life. Those comments used to be triggers, now I still acknowledge how hurtful they are, but, like you, I am not "showing them" by binging. The best revenge is living a healthy life. You go sista!